


Hungry Eyes

by DMMeeble



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Romance, Bisexual Female Character, Brief prime!Max sighting, Canonical Character Death, Chatlogs, Cunnilingus, Digital Art, Eventual (Mild) Smut, Explicit Language, Eye Sex, F/F, Falling In Love, Femslash, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description of Corpses, Homophobic Language, Humor, Implied threat of rape in a dream sequence, Implied/Referenced Non-Consensual Drug-Use, Implied/Referenced Stalking, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Intense!Kate, Loss of Virginity, Not your momma's Kate Marsh, Save William timeline, Sexual Tension, Unhealthy Relationships, Useless Lesbians, Vaginal Fingering, chasemarsh, minor Chasefield in the beginning, minor pricefield, seriously dat Chasemarsh tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-02-19 15:29:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 131,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22546498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DMMeeble/pseuds/DMMeeble
Summary: Life is perfect for Blackwell Academy student and aspiring photographer Victoria Chase. Well, except for the fact that her parents barely acknowledge her existence. And her mentor is obsessed with her rival/girlfriend. And said girlfriend wandered off to hop on a bus like a total weirdo and refuses to answer her texts. And her best friend is having some kind of mental breakdown.And to top it all off, Victoria even has her very own, honest-to-God (heh) stalker… one "Creepy" Kate Marsh. So yeah, life is great! Just.Fucking. Great.
Relationships: Maxine "Max" Caulfield/Victoria Chase, Victoria Chase/Kate Marsh, Warren Graham/Stella Hill
Comments: 438
Kudos: 188
Collections: Female Characters Deserve Better, Femslash Big Bang, Femslash Friday, Fic Journal of the Plague Year, Fierce and Feisty Femslash!, Focus on Female Characters, Gay Pride Month, Queer Characters Collection





	1. Prologue – You Are an Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tale of visions and _vision_.

**October 28 th, 2008**

The girl wakes with a start, tears streaming down her face. Her throat constricts with the effort to take a single, strangled gasp of breath, the cold grip of panic constricting her insides like a vice. Like something heavy laying across her chest, refusing to allow her lungs to expand like they should. This feeling has become all too familiar to the girl by now. It happens to her every night that the dreams come.

Truthfully, most nights she’s grateful for the panic that steals her breath. If not for that, she’d surely wake up screaming.

She clutches her stuffed animal (an over-sized, fluffy plush rabbit she’s had since she was six) tightly to her side while she struggles to slow and deepen her quick, shallow breaths, and calm the frenzied drumming of her heart against her ribs. She’s not sure if it takes minutes or hours, she hasn’t the energy to even turn her head to check the clock on her bedside table. But finally, after what feels like an excruciatingly long amount of time, she manages to achieve some measure of calm.

She gently pushes her stuffed rabbit to the side as she sits up, whispering a prayer of thanks that her silent companion is still with her on nights like this. It’s only been 6 weeks since her thirteenth birthday, and already her mother has been fussing about it being time for her to put away childish things, to focus on becoming a proper young woman in Christ’s eyes. So far, her father has managed to talk her mother out of throwing away youthful comforts like her rabbit and nightlight while she’s at school. The girl whispers her thanks for him too.

The red glow of the digital clock reads 3:00 AM, and she stares dumbly at it for several seconds. The number has significance to her, both in her life and her faith. The Holy trinity. The eldest of three daughters.

The number of times Katie Marsh dies every time she dreams.

Thoughts of the nightmare shaking her out of her reverie, the girl begins to move quickly, scrambling to the floor to fish underneath her bed for a flashlight. She desperately tries to hold on to the remnants of the dream that are, even now, fragmenting in her mind. Fading away like wisps of smoke. She turns on the flashlight with a click and hurries over to set it on her desk, the beam pointing at the ceiling as she sits and opens her sketchbook. She needs more light to do this properly, but at the same time she does not want to alert her parents to the fact that she’s awake. They will only demand to know why, and the couple of times she’s admitted to having these visions… did _not_ go over well. So, she will just have to make do.

She closes her eyes tightly, her smooth forehead scrunching up, tapping the tip of her pencil lightly to the pad as she tries to recall the images and sensations that have plagued her mind nearly every night for a month now. She is standing… somewhere high. Where she cannot really recall, but she can still feel the cold chill of wind and rain on her skin. There is a sea of people below, their heads turned upwards as though they are staring at her. Accusing. Standing in judgement of all of her sins. Terror fills her at the knowledge of what is to come, but mostly she feels an overwhelming sense of resignation. That this is what _must_ happen. This is how she must end.

She scans the crowd for one face in particular, one that she wants… that she _needs_ … to see. _There_. This mysterious girl that she seeks out in her dreams each night before she dies. Who is she? What does she mean to her? All she knows is that she feels an intense connection to this girl, or woman, or whatever she may be. And that she is so beautiful it makes her heart ache just to think of it.

Then she’s falling. And though fear makes her want to clench her eyes shut, though wind and rain and her own tears seek to blind her, she does her best to keep her eyes on that mysterious, beautiful girl as the ground rushes up to meet her.

And then she’s pulled back up, as though by the hand of God himself. And though it may be God’s will that she finds herself once again in this high place with wind and rain and the deepest of sadness chilling her to her core, it is not enough to save her. For once again, she seeks out that perfect face. And once again, she is falling.

The impact of flesh to earth and stone does not come until the third, and final fall. But when it inevitably does come, the last thing she sees as she feels the life leave her broken, crumpled form, before she is wrenched back out of this dream and into the waking world once again, is that beautiful, perfect girl clapping her hands to her face as she falls to her knees, an anguished cry escaping her lips.

‘ _KATIE!!!_ ’

Tears form in the corners of Katie’s eyes as the images continue to slip away. Try as she might, she never can quite recall the exact details of that face that haunts her sleep. So instead she focuses on what she can remember. Eyes, green like emeralds. Short hair, gold like morning sunlight, encircling her head like a crown. Matching gold around the neck and wrists. Rain-soaked cloth, red like the blood that seeps from Katie’s broken body to mingle with gray concrete and wet grass.

Katie sighs. No more will come to her tonight, she’s certain of that.

And so, biting her lower lip and furrowing her brow with concentration, Katie Marsh leans over her sketchbook and begins to draw.

With a spark of inspiration, she draws the golden hair as more of a halo this time. Blends the red and black cloth into a robe-like shape. Her lips quirk up into a smile as the image in her mind takes form on the page, one that brightens as she gives life to the figure God deems fit to show her in these nightly visions. The one that calls out for her with such pain, such grief, such… such _love_ evident in her voice.

_Her angel_.

*****

**September 20 th, 2013**

Victoria Maribeth Chase huffs a small, frustrated sigh through her nostrils, the maroon nails on her left hand tapping rhythmically on the wooden surface of the table to her side. It is ten past four now, and classes in Blackwell Academy have ended for the day. And yet here she sits in one of the classrooms designated for afterschool activities, impatiently awaiting the commencement of this afternoon’s entertainment.

The tables and chairs in this room have been rearranged to form a semi-circle centered around a single chair in front. Ever since Mrs. Hoida’s leave of absence, the Blackwell administration haven’t cared enough to dissuade clubs from coming in early to set things up in whichever way suits their needs, and oftentimes no one bothers to move things back at the end of the day. Victoria has claimed the seat directly in front of that empty chair, center-stage if you will, and is flanked on either side by the other members of the Vortex Club... or at least those she could trust not to be _total_ wet-blankets about this.

A few heads have peeked through the open doorway during this time, but whether they belonged to curious passersby or people who actually wanted to attend this particular after-school activity, it’s hard to say. Certainly no one was going to stick around after seeing Victoria and her cronies perched inside like a pack of hyenas salivating over thoughts of their next meal. _Good_. She likes inspiring a healthy sense of social self-preservation amongst her lessers. It means she’s taking her role as Bitch-Queen of Blackwell Academy seriously.

She sighs again while checking her phone. 4:15.

_Seriously? This was supposed to start five minutes ago. It’s Friday, and SOME of us have got shit to do!_

She’s not really sure why she felt compelled to choose today’s victim in particular. Kate Beverly Marsh, Blackwell Academy’s shining example of Christian morals and self-appointed spokesperson for Abstinence Awareness, makes herself an easy target for mockery, certainly. But she’s friendly, even to those who tease her for her faith or manner of dress, and is cute enough in a good-girl next-door kind of way. Which, of course, she literally is… in the sense that she’s Victoria’s next-door neighbor on their floor in the Girls' Dormitory. Victoria often has to suppress the urge to reciprocate whenever Kate gives her one of those sweet, shy little smiles when they pass each other in the hallways. Sometimes her eyes are even drawn to the quiet, graceful girl for reasons she can’t quite understand, and sometimes she wants to call her ‘Katie’ even though she’s never heard anyone else refer to her by that name.

However, Victoria _has_ been feeling particularly antsy this week. Thoughts of gallery submissions, parental disappointment, and Max _fucking_ Caulfield plaguing her mind, as usual. She needed to blow off some steam, and when a particular poster caught the Queen-Bee’s eye, she just couldn’t help the devilish grin that crossed her face. Besides, it’s not like she and Kate are _friends_ or anything, right? They are simply from two drastically different worlds, two opposite ends of the social ladder. This is just how things are meant to be.

Victoria is about to call it for the day so that she and her friends can get on with their weekend, when, _finally_ , the Guest of Honor arrives. With a wide metal tray in hand, Kate Marsh mumbles out an apology for being so late while she attempts to shoulder open the door. The girl is primly dressed, with her long hair wrapped into a tasteful bun and a small cross hanging from a gold chain around her neck. The smell of the freshly baked cookies from the tray she’s carrying wafts into the room, and Kate is so focused on making it inside without spilling them that she’s yet to notice exactly who her audience for the day is going to be.

The room goes silent, and Victoria sits up straight, adjusting her designer blouse and crossing one black-stockinged leg over the other, smirking with anticipation. Kate is halfway to Mrs. Hoida’s desk, where she apparently intends to set down her tray, before she finally looks around the room… and stops dead in her tracks.

_So… the widdle rabbit spots the snare. Will she do the smart thing and hop away or…?_

Kate is looking from face to face, the smile she had upon entering replaced with a suspicious frown. Zach and Logan chilling in the left side of the room. Nathan on the right, leg bouncing manic-ly, staring through the window like he’s a thousand miles away. Taylor and Courtney flanking Victoria, their arms crossed and bearing smirks to match her own.

When Kate’s eyes meet Victoria’s, the Queen-bee puts on her best demure smile. They stay like that for several seconds, the only sounds in the room those filtering in from outside. _And Logan’s breathing. Jesus, deviated septum much?_

Finally, Kate takes a deep breath, smiles as brightly as she can muster, and places the tray down on Mrs. Hoida’s desk. “My goodness, I had no idea attendance would be so good today! Everyone, please help yourself to some cookies. They’re freshly baked! I’m sorry, I’d heated some water for tea but I don’t think there’s enough for every…” she cuts off with a giggle, as Zach and Logan practically rush the desk to grab fistfuls of cookies before returning to their chairs.

_Or… she’ll just step right in? Damn… gotta admit I’m a bit impressed, Katie._

Taylor is half out of her seat as though she wants to get in on that sweet cookie action, but is looking to Victoria for approval. When all she gets is an annoyed roll of the eyes in response, she sits back down with a huff.

Kate takes her seat, folding her hands in her lap as she smiles around the room once more. “Well, normally when there are new faces I like to have everyone go around the room and introduce themselves, so why don’t we start with—”

“Oh my _GOD_ we so do not have time for this boring ass shit!” Courtney interjects, voice filled with customary amount of venom she displays for literally anyone below her on the pecking order. “Those of us who _actually_ have social lives have got to go in, like, ten _tops_.”

Despite the fact that she does an admirable job of keeping her smile in place, Kate’s sigh can probably be heard all the way back in the Girls’ Dormitory. After a moment she asks, in as sweet a voice as she can manage:

“Very well, then, Courtney. In that case, is there anything _you_ wanted to talk about today?”

Victoria sits forward in her chair, a smirk forming on her lips in anticipation. _And here we go…_

For now, she’s keen to simply observe.

“Why yes, Marsh, there is! Thank you _soooo_ much for asking!” If sarcasm had an entry on the periodic table, it would be called _Courtnerium_. “We’re adults here, right? We all know this whole abstinence thing is just a scheme to attract gross old men with virgin fetishes. So, I guess my question is, what’s the going rate for little Kate Marsh’s V-card?”

_That_ causes the polite smile to drop, and Kate’s eyes widen with disgust. “Ex _cuse_ me--?”

“Wait, that’s a thing?” Taylor’s voice raises in shock. “Why didn’t anyone tell me that was a thing?”

“I _so_ did, slut. Not my fault you decided to settle for a Two Whales burger and a couple wine coolers in Sophomore year.”

Zach guffaws at this, while pulling out a ratty leather wallet. “Shit, how much we talkin’ here? I’m good for twenty bucks!”

“Fuck you man,” Logan laughs, “I got thirty on me right now!”

Kate seems to want to shrink back into her seat, cheeks growing redder by the moment. Disappointment and humiliation appear to be at war on her face. This clearly wasn’t how she expected this meeting to go, even in her worst estimation.

“Like, do they make the check payable to the Pope, or are you one of those weirdos that pledges their virginity to _daddy_?”

“ _Gawd_ , Court, that is soooo gross!”

Now Kate’s eyes are closed tightly shut, her whole body tensed like she could bolt out of the room at any minute. For whatever reason, Victoria isn’t enjoying this as much as she thought she would.

“Oooh how about group rates? I bet we could get some of the other guys—”

“What? You don’t believe me? Google it, bitch!”

Kate moves as though to--

_CLACK_.

The sound of metal on wood successfully brings the cacophony to a quiet, drawing everyone’s attention, including Kate’s, to Victoria. The blonde-haired Queen holds a shiny, black credit card between two manicured fingers, tapping it again before placing it flat on the table and sliding it in Kate’s direction. She follows this up by speaking her first words since Kate’s entered the room, one imperious eyebrow raised.

“I think we can all agree that if there’s a bidding war going on, I win, _no_?” This wasn’t _quite_ true, as Nate’s family fortune made Victoria look decidedly middle class, but he was still being uncharacteristically quiet and was unlikely to step on one of her power plays regardless. “So, if that’s all settled, I for one would _love_ to hear Mother Mary’s pitch to save my maidenhood.”

Silence once again. Kate is watching Victoria closely, an unreadable expression on her face. Eventually, her red lips purse, and she cautiously resumes her seat. Victoria doesn’t miss the way the prim girl’s hazel eyes dart over to her heeled foot as she occasionally bounces her crossed leg. Was she silently judging her “harlot’s clothing”? Whatever, that just makes Victoria want to do it _more_.

“Well, to start with…” Kate pauses, as though waiting to see if there are going to be further interruptions. “Abstinence is not just about virginity. It’s more about finding a way to deal with the daily challenges we all face. Has anyone here felt pressured to do something they weren’t totally comfortable with?”

A chair scrapes as Nathan rises to his feet. “This is fucking lame,” he growls, before storming out of the classroom. Kate watches him go with some concern, before she turns back to Victoria with a questioning look. Victoria motions for her to continue _. Always something with Nate these days. I’ll check on him later._

“… I would like this to be a place where we can talk about these subjects in a safe environment, and where we can remind each other that it _is_ ok to wait.”

“So, you’re not going to tell me that Jesus wants me to keep it in my pants until marriage?” Victoria scoffs.

Kate looks up and to the left, considering her response carefully. “I don’t believe it necessarily needs to be about marriage, either. Though that certainly is a choice some of us make.”

“ _Oh_? Well if it’s not about purity or marriage, then what? STDs? Teen Pregnancy?”

Katie… _Kate_ grins at this just a tad. “ _Well_ I think most of us would like to avoid those things. And they’re certainly good enough reasons to wait. But, for me…” she thoughtfully taps her lips with one finger, before meeting Victoria’s eyes once more. “I guess it’s more about saving that experience for the one I’m _meant_ to be with.”

Something about the tone of her voice and the way she’s holding that stare, as though there’s no one else in the room, gives Victoria pause. Is it warmer in here, all of a sudden?

She wouldn’t mind if someone else wanted to jump in here, but between Zach and Logan glancing between the two girls like watching a tennis match, Taylor’s raised, amused eyebrow, and Courtney’s vaguely suspicious squint, everyone around Victoria is useless. Like always.

She rolls her eyes finally, feigning a bored tone. “You mean like, soul-mates? Red-string of fate or whatever? I don’t believe in hokey shit like that. There’s just people I want, and people I don’t. And if there’s something I want in life, I _take_ it.”

Kate leans forward a bit. “So, _I_ take it that you’ve… been intimate before? If it’s not too personal a question, of course.” Another small smile.

“Oh, you sweet, summer child…”

A giggle at that. “And… did you find those experiences… fulfilling?”

Victoria, feeling like she’s back in the zone now, gives her best lascivious eyebrow wiggle, her voice a bit sultry as she responds “mmm, yes. _Full. Filling_. In more ways than one.”

That earns a slight blush, but Kate doesn’t miss a beat. “I guess what I mean is… did they make you _happy_?”

…

_Ok, Vic. Witty comeback. Any day now._

She is intensely aware that the silence has stretched uncomfortably long. Kate waits patiently. Expectantly.

_Really? Just say something. Anything!_

Everyone’s eyes are on her. She fights the urge to squirm in her seat, while images of the partners she’s loved and left behind flash through her mind.

_Oh my god, are you going to let Kate Marsh make you look like an idiot? You’re Victoria Chase, fucking LIE!!!_

Her mouth is too dry. She sucks at her tongue a bit to work up some moisture. “I…” she croaks.

She’s interrupted by a loud, staccato blare to her right. Taylor’s alarm. “Uh… Vic?” She holds up her phone. “We’ve, uh, gotta go if we wanna be ready for…”

_Ohthankgod._

Victoria rolls her eyes and sighs dramatically, trying not to stand up too quickly. “Damn, and just when it was starting to get fun!” She makes a show of checking her phone as she strolls over to open the door, definitely not avoiding anyone’s gaze or anything. “I guess we’ll take a rain-check, Marsh? C’mon everyone, we’ve got places to be and I’m sure Sister Christian has evening prayers to attend to or whatever.”

As her bemused friends file out, she hears Logan stage-whisper to Zach “Yo… is it me or was that kinda hot?” Courtney is next, glaring at her with a ‘What the fuck was that?’ expression. Taylor grabs a couple of cookies on her way, sticking her tongue out at Victoria before taking a big bite of one.

“Victoria…” Kate calls, just before the Queen-bee can make her own escape. She rolls her eyes nonchalantly at Taylor and Courtney and puts on her best sarcastic ‘Uh oh, I’m in trouble with teacher’ face before closing the door between them. She’s not feeling at her peak of confidence right this second, and if she’s going to take another ‘L’ she’d rather not have witnesses for it.

She turns and raises an imperious eyebrow, keeping her face as straight as she can manage. “… Yes?”

Kate is now standing between her and Mrs. Hoida’s desk, smoothing out her dress while she studies the floor. “I just wanted to say… while ambushing me like this wasn’t a nice thing to do, I wouldn’t be a very good Christian if I couldn’t handle having my beliefs questioned. And if in the process some of my words get through to even one person, well, that’s worth a bit of trial by fire. I hope I didn’t offend you at all.”

Victoria shrugs, pursing her lips. “Whatever. Takes more than that to get under my skin,” she blatantly lies, before smiling coyly. “Besides… you held your own today, when a lot of people would have turned and ran the minute they saw us. So… respect.” She even allows for the briefest of nods, before turning back to the door.

“Wait! I…” Kate looks up, holding her right hand out plaintively. Spots of pink have returned to her cheeks. “What you said, about buying my… I understand you were just trying to stop the others from being disgusting, for my sake. I know you’re not like that, so… thank you”

Victoria freezes, her fingers on the door knob.

_Oh_ hell _no. I say one nice thing and this bitch thinks she knows me?_

She turns back around, giving Kate her best smoldering stare. The other girl’s breath catches in response, and her left hand unconsciously moves up to toy with her cross.

_We can’t have that now, can we?_

“Oh… _Katie_ …” she coos, pausing to give her upper lip a slow, sultry lick, and Kate’s eyes go wide. This is good. She relishes the opportunity to win some points back after the way their last exchange ended. Victoria allows her eyes to roam from the girl’s face down to her feet, and _alllll_ the way back up again.

“Lord knows _I_ don’t need to pay for sex, but…” She languidly walks toward Kate, making sure the _clack_ of her heels ring out like gunshots with each step forward. Kate takes several involuntary steps backwards, until she’s brought to a stop by the desk behind her. She grips the edge of it with her free hand as Victoria quickly closes the distance.

“… there’s one thing you need to understand, if you’re going to make it here in Blackwell…” She takes a final step into Kate’s personal space, using every inch of heel-assisted height advantage to loom over the girl who is now looking away, her face bright red.

“… I’m Victoria _Chase_ …” She leans in, bringing her lips close enough that Kate can feel her breath tickle against her ear, before whispering “… and a Chase _never_ bluffs.”

She pulls back slowly, delighting in what she sees. Kate’s head turned to the side, red lips parted. Her chest heaving with deep, shuddering breaths. The knuckles of her dainty hands white from gripping her cross and the desk behind her.

A gleeful, victorious sneer forms on Victoria’s face as she takes in the scene before her. She waits another triumphant moment, before turning her hip to take a step backward.

And then Kate, taking one last, shaky lungful of air, bites her lower lip…

And turns to meet Victoria’s gaze with her own.

...

_Holy shit._

If Victoria’s eyes were smoldering before, Kate’s hazel orbs are fucking wildfires, gleaming with… _want_. With _intensity_.

With _challenge_.

Victoria stumbles backwards as her heel slips behind her, unable to tear her eyes from Kate’s.

The prim, demure girl that shrank away from Victoria mere moments ago was _gone_. This new, alien Kate simply stands there, searing her with that ravenous stare. Her face, her entire body language screaming _‘Fucking try me, Bitch.’_

Or whatever the Kate Marsh equivalent of that would be.

Victoria isn’t sure if the corners of Kate’s lips have started twisting into a smile when she turns and practically _flees_ from the room. All she knows is that she can feel the heat of those eyes following her even after she’s long since left the classroom far behind, no longer feeling very _victorious_ at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title reference: _Obsession_ by Animotion


	2. Somebody’s Watching Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria's special day doesn't go as planned. Kate lets something slip.

**October 9 th, 2013**

The golden hour. That perfect time of day – just after sunrise, or before sunset – when the world is bathed in warm, soft light. Revered by photographers and romantics alike. For Victoria Chase, who of course considers herself the former than the latter, this particular golden hour is going to be special.

The scene is perfectly composed. The brick walls of the vaunted Blackwell Academy, their prestigious art school and temporary home, serving as a backdrop. The breeze gently blowing through the branches of the trees that line the building’s courtyard, carrying tiny dust motes and dandelion seeds that capture the natural lighting magnificently. Victoria Chase’s outfit, a creamy white top adorned with floral imagery and paired with matching skirt and tight leggings, _painstakingly_ chosen to complement what she considers her better features.

All for the girl lounging on the soft grass to her left. The object of Victoria’s growing affections. _Max Caulfield_.

So yeah, this golden hour is gonna be special. _Very_ special. Quite possibly _lifechanging_.

And, ok, perhaps Victoria is indeed a bit of a hopeless romantic after all.

They sit on the edge of a loose circle of companions, one and all members of the Vortex Club, the lords and ladies of Blackwell’s social elite. Courtney Wagner, her make-up and straight black hair impeccable as always, is on her feet while she regales the group about how Taylor approached one of their classmates in Science for “help with a project” earlier that day, stressing how the girl to Victoria’s right was acting _totally_ _suss_ while doing so.

“ _Whaaaat_? I figured he could teach me about climate change, is all” Taylor Christensen drawls, fluttering her eyelashes innocently. With her straw-colored hair, blue eyes, denim jacket and deliciously short shorts, ‘Sweet T’ looks like she could give _Daisy Duke_ a run for her money. And, well, having seen the girl _actually_ go as Daisy for last year’s Halloween party, Victoria can only respond to that particular thought with an enthusiastic purr and an _eat your fucking heart out, Jessica Simpson._

“Oh sure.” Courtney fires back. “And you _totally_ needed to be twirling your hair and touching his knee while doing that, right?” She adds a hint of twang to her voice for emphasis as she mimics Taylor’s movements. “‘Excuse me, Warren but can you tell me… what is this whole climate change thing all about anyway?’”

Tay and Court are Victoria’s long-time BMFs (best minions forever, _naturellement_ ), and their verbal sparring match is good natured, despite any appearances to the contrary.

It is also designed to serve as a distraction for the other present Vortex Club members, allowing for a few moments of privacy while Victoria prepares to execute the plan to woo her potential _petite amie_. Her girls, as always, have her back.

This seems to be working well enough on Logan Robertson and Zach Riggins, the club’s stereotypically popular football lunkheads, who are respectively standing and sitting to Taylor’s right while laughing and contributing their standard uncouth commentary to Courtney’s tale. Hayden Jones, the picture of easy-going contentment as always, lounges on his elbow to Max’s left, grinning at the girls’ antics. While he is far more observant than the Blackwell Bigfoots representatives in the group, he is also less likely to be obnoxious about Victoria’s scheme should he catch on.

Speaking of _obnoxious_ , Victoria whispers a silent thank you to all the demons in the Nine Hells who conspired on this day to otherwise occupy the cheerleading slut-bag Dana Ward and _Veronica Mars_ wannabe Juliet Watson, the two VC’ers who seemingly _delighted_ in busting Vic’s balls at every opportunity.

“You _know_ you’d just love to get better acquainted with that big, strong, nerdy… brain of his.” Courtney continues with a sneer.

Rounding out their little clique is Nathan Prescott, the preppily dressed young man sitting opposite Victoria, his back pressed up against the tree they relaxed beneath like it’s his own personal throne. The Vortex Club king to Victoria’s Queen, Nathan is her oldest and most trusted friend at this school. He makes a retching sound in response to the ongoing tale, but not before catching his best friend’s eye to give her a knowing wink. Even if he didn’t know of Victoria’s intentions this particular evening, he would do anything to assist in achieving those goals.

_Oh, Nate. I know you’re happy that I’ve found someone special, but… I hope seeing it won’t bring up unwanted memories._

Nathan, never exactly the most stable individual on the best of days, had been far more emotional and on-edge ever since getting so thoroughly screwed over last year by _She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, may she choke on her own vomit in whatever disease-ridden Los Angeles alleyway she ran off to_.

She feels a nudge from Taylor’s elbow, and the girl gives her a sassy eyebrow waggle along with a pointed look at Max before turning back to the group.

“Nah, he’s with Stella. I’m not _that_ desperate that I’ve gotta steal another girl’s man. Buuuut…” she playfully taps her lips with one finger before grinning, “if he _did_ happen to be single, and I _happened_ to be a few wine-coolers in by that point…”

_Ok girl, Taylor’s right. The timing won’t get any better than this. Allons-y!_

*****

She can’t help but pause just long enough to take in the sight of the girl one more time, her friends’ voices fading into the background as she does. Max (never Maxine, _to most people anyway_ ) Caulfield. The tiny girl with shoulder length brown hair, captivating blue eyes, and freckles for _days and days_. Possessing of an easy, understated style, standing in stark contrast to the countless hours and dollars Victoria feels the need to put into her own. Someone who, she hopes, will finally be the one that wants Victoria for _herself_ , not for her money, or family connections, or for nothing more than her (self-admittedly, _killer_ ) body.

After one last check to make sure the bangs of her short blonde hair are perfectly in place, Victoria takes a deep, steadying breath. Then, tilting her head at an angle that allows the amber light to hit her left cheek _just so_ , she reaches out and gently brushes the back of Max’s hand, drawing the petite brunette’s eyes to Victoria’s manicured fingers. Giving Max a coy smile (one that she most certainly did _NOT_ practice for an hour in the bathroom this morning, and who even told you that anyway?!), she speaks softly, seductively:

“So… the other night was fun. A _lot_ of fun, yeah?”

Max flushes just a bit, and her lips quirk into a wry little smirk. _Alright, doing good so far…_

“To be honest,” Victoria continues, gaining confidence as she goes, “I haven’t been able to get it off my mind since.”

Sapphire eyes flick up to meet Victoria’s emerald, glimmering with amusement. The light blush of pink on her cheeks makes Max’s delicate freckles absolutely pop in the evening light, and _dear God_ does Victoria wish she had her camera right now. Seriously, the girl in front of her is just stunning, the kind of beautiful that makes one want to contemplate last names.

_Would she want to take on the Chase name outright? Or would we hyphenate? Certainly not Caulfield-Chase, my parents would never approve of me putting someone else’s name ahead of my own. But Chase-Caulfield does have a nice ring to it, and—_

_WAIT. FUCK._

_Jesus, Vic, how about we dial the thirst back a bit and focus up, okay?_

Flustered by her own rebellious thoughts and Max’s expectant gaze, Victoria attempts to power through the rest of her speech.

“ _Soooo_ I was thinking, if you feel the same way, maybe we could do that more often? Like… exclusively or whatever?”

_Ugh, didn’t quite stick the landing there but… that wasn’t too bad, right?_

Max still hasn’t moved her hand, which seems like a good enough sign, so Victoria wraps her fingers around it to give a gentle, hopeful squeeze. After what seems like _forever_ Max finally breaks eye contact, shyly glancing down and to her left. She coos a bit while idly picking at the grass in front of her. And right here, in this very moment, Victoria cannot imagine this day being any better.

“Vic, I’ve been wanting to tell you…” she starts shyly, before her voice trails off.

...

_What?_

Victoria’s heart jack-hammers behind her ribs as one moment stretches into several.

_Tell me WHAT?!_

The hope surging through Victoria’s chest takes on a tinge of annoyance as her would-be girlfriend seems to just… space out for a bit, her eyes taking on a glassy, faraway look.

This shifts almost entirely to a feeling of minor dread when Max begins looking around the courtyard, brow furrowed with confusion, acting like she has no idea where she even _is_ all of a sudden.

“You are such a ho-bag. I knew you’d hook up with that loser.”

Courtney earns a high-five from Logan for another catty comment, while to her right Taylor drones on about _something something_ climate change _seriously no one gives a shit right now_.

Victoria resists the urge to snap her fingers in front of Max’s face, instead opting for a gentler, teasing approach.

“Helloooo, are you even listening, _Maxine_?” She lets go of the other girl’s hand to give her a playful little wave. This gets Max’s attention alright, but her response is… unexpected, to say the least.

“Max… _never_ Maxine.” Delivered with that haughty, slightly bitchy tone that hasn’t been aimed at Victoria since around the second week of Mark Jefferson’s photography class, before their early rivalry began to evolve into playful flirtation. Suddenly, minor dread morphs to full-blown panic.

_Uh, the fuck? She didn’t seem to mind me moaning ‘Maxine!’ loud enough for the whole floor to hear Monday night. Is she fucking with me or something? Did I offend her somehow? Shit… better just roll with it for now._

Huffing out a small sigh, Victoria takes on a conciliatory tone. “I know, sorry Mad Max. You’re not pissed at me, right? Right? Do you wanna go hit the girl’s potty and smoke ‘em peace pipe?”

_Yeah, ok, that last line was laaaaaame, but…_ _we did smoke a bowl before getting frisky the other night. Maybe she’s just a little uptight talking about this stuff one hundred percent sober_?

By this point the rest of the group has noticed Max’s inexplicable change in demeanor, eliciting a snarky comment from Courtney in an effort to defuse the tension. “I think Max is high.”

“She’s acting, like, so weird…” Taylor chimes in, concern evident in her voice. “You cool, Max?”

But Max doesn’t respond, she just stares back and forth between the two chattering girls, her clearly bewildered eyes roving to take in the faces of the other Vortex club members – _her friends_ – as though they’re the _last_ people she expected to see.

“Nobody listened when I said we shouldn’t let her in the Vortex…”

Taylor rolls her eyes. “Courtney, you don’t want _anybody_ in the club.”

Victoria opens her mouth to spit out some scathing remark intended to get everyone to _just shut the fuck up for a goddamn second_ , concern for Max’s well-being growing exponentially, when the girl in question startles her by jumping up to her feet.

“Like, _whatever_ , bitch.” Courtney sneers, but her eyes dart in their direction with a hint of nervousness.

Victoria simply stares at Max, her mouth still open despite having long since forgotten whatever she’d meant to say before. She, along with the rest of her companions, can only watch in shocked silence as the brunette walks, nearly _staggers_ away, heading off with shaky steps right toward…

_What_.

“No way.” Victoria breathes, her brain finally regaining the ability to comprehend words.

Courtney groans in disgust. “Oh. My. _God_ , please don’t tell me she still has a thing for _HIM_.”

“No _fucking_ way.” Victoria’s gaze is locked on Max’s face, which currently bears an expression somewhere between ‘So the chlamydia test results came back’ and having just discovered the upper decker someone left in your toilet.

She’s standing just a few uncomfortable feet away from Warren Graham and Stella Hill, Blackwell’s pre-eminent representatives of nerd-on-nerd romance, gaping while the couple hold hands and make googly eyes at each other completely oblivious to the fact that they’ve inexplicably become the targets of _Babby’s First Voyeur Fetish_.

“Who… Graham?!” Nathan, whose back went ramrod straight at the sight of Max wandering off, divides his attention between Warren, Max, and Victoria, his default caustic and vaguely pissed-off look twisting into one of barely unchecked rage on the latter’s behalf. “Oh, _FUCK_ that. Vic, I swear I will kick his ass if he thinks he can move in on your…”

“I dunno man…” Hayden interjects, unfazed as usual. Sometimes Victoria thinks a tornado could blow through the middle of town and the guy would just keep on chillin’ without a care in the world. “I’ve heard him talking about ‘Goin Ape’ all week, whatever that means. Besides, dude looks like he could scrap if it came to it.”

This elicits a guffaw from Zach. “You think _that_ pencil-dick can throw a punch? No way, Nate would break him in half.”

“Wait…” Logan speaks up, looking like the gears between his ears are turning so hard smoke should be coming out of them. “Caulfield and Graham have a thing?”

“No, she-- _gawd_ , will you jerks please just be quiet for a minute?” Taylor pleads, worry for Victoria evident in her entire demeanor as she takes her friend’s hand. “I’m sure there’s a reasonable…”

Sweet, _sweet_ Taylor, of anyone here, knows exactly how important this moment is... probably because Victoria couldn’t bring herself to shut up about it for the last couple days. But whatever else she says is lost to Victoria as she blinks rapidly to stave off the moisture welling up behind her eyelids. Already she can feel the oh-so-familiar icy chill of rejection beginning to settle on her thoughts like a shroud.

Her mother. Father. Galleries. Jefferson. Photography Contests. The few lovers she’d dared allow a peak through her rock-solid defenses. Now… Max?

_It’s… it’s not possible, right? Is the idea of dating me so fucking terrible that she’d run to Warren, of all people? I know he creeped on her at the beginning of the year but I put a stop to that! C’mon, she’s so far out of his league it’s not even funny, he dates girls that wear ‘Cool story :/’ hoodies for Christ’s sake!_

But Max is breaking out in a half-jog on the sidewalk now, seemingly headed in the direction of the dorms. Until suddenly she stops dead in her tracks, the look on her face like the one you get when you hear a _squelch_ while backing out of your driveway and you can’t remember whether you left the cat outside or not.

And _now_ the girl is turning around, full-on sprinting toward and down the white stone steps that lead out to the road, just in time for the arriving bus. The schoolbus.

_What_?

“This is a prank, right?” The ‘Ice-Queen’ of Blackwell’s voice cracks with emotion as she finally turns to look at Taylor, both of her hands now firmly grasping her aghast friend’s. “I’m being punk’d or whatever? Please Tay, I swear I won’t be mad, just… tell me I’m being pranked right now!”

But the idea that this is just a cruel and elaborate joke seems to get less and less likely as Max, having spent a few seconds staring dumbly at the bus-driver (you know, the one with the porn-stache who always looks like the before picture in a _Zoloft_ commercial), is actually. Getting. On. _The bus._

_WHAT!!!_

Victoria is standing now, her hands pulling at the short blonde hair on either side of her head as she helplessly watches the ancient yellow vehicle (carrying the woman who was supposed to be her girlfriend by now) putter off into the sunset. _Or parallel to it._ _WHATEVER_.

It takes almost a minute before Victoria can speak again, her throat constricted by the simultaneous and competing urges to cry and vomit. The rest of her cohort simply stare at her silently, having no clue what to do or say in this very moment.

Finally, she takes a deep, shuddering breath before pointing at the student parking lot and crying out:

“SHE OWNS A FUCKING _CAR_!”

The last statement is punctuated with a shriek of frustration, one that surely draws all eyes in the courtyard to the pixie-cut coiffed student just in time to see her flop back, her ass connecting to the ground with a solid _thump_.

…

Another stretch of silence is finally broken by Logan.

“Wait… Caulfield and _VIC_ have a thing?!?”

The ever-observant linebacker yelps in pain as a half-full coke can, probably Courtney’s, connects with his forehead while his friends groan around him.

Victoria can only bring her hands up to cover her face as loud sobbing finally overtakes her.

This day could _not_ get any worse.

*****

Sometime later, Victoria is still trying to get her ugly-crying under control while wishing with all her heart that she could just crawl into a hole and die from… rage? Sadness? Humiliation? _Take your fucking pick, folks, there’s more than enough shit to go around right now._

Taylor has scooted in beside her, rubbing slow, soft circles along Victoria’s back while whispering soothing words in her ear. Courtney is kneeling in front of her, bag in hand, trying futilely to get her to move her hands so that she can try to do something to salvage what must be an absolute make-up disaster right now.

Zach and Logan, having been forced to witness genuine female emotion up close, had disappeared so quickly Victoria is shocked they didn’t leave cartoon smoke trails in their wake. Hayden, now standing off to the side, seems at a complete loss. Though he does at least have the decency to appear tense for once in his goddamn life.

Nathan seems to have taken Max’s departure the hardest of everyone save Victoria herself, having stared off in that direction for several minutes after the bus disappeared, the color drained from his face. After a time, he turned his eyes to the ground and began tearing clumps of grass up from the dirt in front of him, muttering to himself all the while. Whether it was out of loyalty to her, or himself being hurt somehow by Max’s inexplicable escape, Vic couldn’t say.

“You uh… you’re still coming to the party tomorrow, right Vic?” he asks, hesitation practically oozing from his voice.

The End of the World party. An event that the Vortex Club had been planning practically since the beginning of the school term. The first chance the Blackwell student body at large would have to really cut loose, especially since Principal Wells had strongly dissuaded off-campus parties in exchange for allowing the use of the Academy swimming pool for a quarterly, chaperone and security-free _soiree_. It was going to be an absolute _rager_. It was Nathan and Victoria’s baby.

And it is something she could not give less of a shit about right this moment.

“Gee, I’m not sure right now, _Nate_.” Victoria spits, finally dropping her cosmetics-stained hands to her lap. “I promise when the pod-person who is inhabiting my date’s body deigns to clue me in on her schedule for tomorrow evening, you will be the first to know. _Okay_?!”

Chagrined, Nathan looks away with a mumbled apology, the hurt evident on his face.

_He didn’t deserve that, not really. He’s clearly just worried about Max and I, right? I’ll… make it up to him later._

The pang of guilt this causes to well up in Victoria is quickly forgotten, however, as she begins to realize just how much attention she’s drawn from the other students nearby. Two of them being Warren and Stella, who are now casting worried glances in her direction while speaking quietly to each other, the pink-hoodied girl nudging her boyfriend as if they’re trying to figure out whether they should come over to check on her and _oh god_ , Victoria would rather take a bullet to the back of the head right now than to be pitied by _Warren Graham_ of all people.

“Oh _shit_ ”, a scoff from Courtney thankfully interrupts that particular train-wreck of thought. Though she then kicks off a new one that makes the previous thought-train look like a pleasant ride along the beach on a lazy Saturday afternoon.

“Don’t look now guys, but Creepy Kate is staring again.”

Every muscle in Victoria’s body tenses up at this, and she can feel her teeth grinding before she hisses out “God I wish she’d just lose that massive boner she’s got for you, Nate, it’s getting _really_ old.”

This earns a horrified look from the boy in question, along with a mouthed ‘ _Seriously, Vic?_ ’

Hayden surreptitiously peeks in the direction of the fountain in the center of the courtyard, back and to the right of Victoria’s current position. “I dunno, Vic. Looks to me like she’s more focused on _you_.”

_Of course she is, you moron_! Victoria groans internally. She’d hoped that throwing Nathan under the bus would give her a chance to avoid it, but she’s been able to feel the heat of “Creepy” Kate Marsh’s gaze ever since Courtney spoke her name. Just like she’s felt it every goddamn day for weeks now.

Nearly everyone in Blackwell snickered behind her back about how _hilarious_ it was that Victoria Maribeth Chase managed to pick up such a mousy church girl as a “stalker”. Doubly so that said stalker just so happened to be her next-door neighbor in the dorms.

Not that Victoria cared, usually. The girl was about as threatening as the cute little bunny rabbit she kept in her room, and would be just as easy to throttle if it came to it. All she ever did, to Victoria at least, was stare at her in the most obnoxiously obvious way possible. But Kate seemed to be literally everywhere she turned on campus lately, and this was _so_ not the kind of shit she needed to be dealing with on this absolute _disaster_ of a day.

_You know what? Fuck it!_ Her mind feels like a stove-pot full of anger and humiliation about to boil over. Or like a steam-filled kettle screaming for release. And if Kate Marsh wants to sacrifice herself on the altar of Victoria’s fury, who is she to look a gift horse in the mouth?

Never one for subtlety, Victoria twists her body to the side, snapping her head around to instantly lock eyes with Kate. The girl is sitting on the edge of the fountain, bag at her side, the book in her delicate hands obviously going un-read as she is far too laser-focused on Victoria to keep up the pretense. She looks mostly the same as usual, wearing a modest skirt and her customary dark shawl, though the dark blonde hair she keeps in a large bun is frayed and sticking out at less than perfect angles, and of late deep bags have made a home beneath her brown eyes, seemingly growing larger and darker by the day.

Knowing she must be quite a sight with her mouth twisted into a sneer and rivers of mascara running down her cheeks, Victoria feeds so much rage into her patented death-glare she’s surprised lasers haven’t escaped her own eyes to burn the girl to a crisp.

It seems to have the intended effect, however, as Kate almost immediately jumps in shock, an audible “Eeep!” (that Victoria would have begrudgingly found _adorable_ if the circumstance was different) escaping her red lips. Obviously catching on to the fact Victoria intends to do way more than _just_ glare, the girl quickly gathers her belongings and begins to hurry off in the direction of the dorms.

_Oh, HELL no. This bitch is NOT getting off that easy._

Courtney laughs wickedly as Victoria clambers to her feet and moves to follow, but a momentary shift of that rage-filled gaze pins the dark-haired girl to her spot. “No, stay, I’ve got this” Victoria growls.

“Wait! We’re not gonna leave you alone after—” Taylor starts, but is cut off by a middle finger thrown over Victoria’s left shoulder as she is stalking away, seeming to bristle like an angry cat.

“I said FUCK OFF! Stop being completely goddamn useless for a change and help Nate with party shit! I’ll call you later or whatever.” She knows Taylor’s wounded expression will make her feel like shit once everything has settled down, but Victoria doesn’t have time for it at the moment. Right now, she’s a tigress with her prey in sight, and the hunt is _on_.

*****

“MARSH!”

Kate’s eyes go wide again as she looks over her shoulder at her pursuer, and she quickens her pace in the opposite direction. This, of course, does no favors for Victoria’s mood, admonishments from her mother about how ‘ _a Chase never runs in public, it’s simply undignified_ ’ playing in the back of her mind as she breaks into a light jog.

_Yeah well fuck you mother, you never had to deal with the religious weirdo that couldn’t keep her eyes to herself after the girl you actually like humiliated you in front of the entire school, did you? Besides, my make-up is already ruined as-is. Dignity is overrated._

Victoria envisions all the myriad ways she is going to verbally eviscerate Marsh once she finally manages to catch her, her green eyes decidedly _not_ transfixed by the switch of the fleeing girl’s hips or the way her dress twitches up to show bits of bare thigh with each stride.

And even if they are, so what? Victoria might be pissed off, but she isn’t _blind_. Kate does have a nice body under those modest clothes, she’s seen her enough times changing before gym class or heading for a morning shower in just her PJ’s to know that. And with her pretty brown eyes and those red, red lips, Victoria’s sure the girl could get pretty much any guy on campus if she would just drop the holier-than-thou attitude and stop dressing like a 1950’s school-marm.

Kate adjusts the strap on the bag hanging from her shoulder as she takes a left turn, her right arm clutching her ever-present sketchbook close to her chest. She hasn’t looked back to gauge how much Victoria has gained on her, or she would likely have sped up even more.

And, sure. Maybe Victoria has fantasized about Kate a time or two, in those quiet moments of solitude before bed. Or several times. Who cares? She’s probably done so for almost every girl enrolled in Blackwell by this point, along with a fair portion of the guys and even a handful of faculty members. Big deal! Her therapist says that masturbation is a natural and healthy way to explore one’s desires and sexuality, and one that doesn’t necessarily say anything about one’s feelings or the lack thereof toward the object of those fantasies. And _that bitch_ had two PHDs by her 28th birthday and charges more per session than most people’s mortgage payments, so who the fuck is anyone else to disagree?

It isn’t until they’ve both entered the short alleyway that divides the courtyard and the dorms before Victoria finally gets close enough to grab for the other blonde’s right shoulder. Catching a firm hold, she pulls hard enough to wrench Kate to a stop and spin her around in one smooth motion, all manner of invectives ready to roll off her tongue.

...

So… here’s the thing.

The fact that Victoria _does_ find Kate attractive in a pre-makeover Sandy from _Grease_ -kinda way _isn’t_ what stops her dead in her tracks, the tirade she’d spent the entire infuriating run preparing flying right out of her head, forgotten.

It also isn’t the fact that her fantasies involving the girl have shifted in the past few weeks since the abstinence-club incident. Most of her “self-help” sessions involve Victoria sexually conquering her partner. Showing Max all the delicious ins and outs of girl on girl romance. Pressing a feebly-protesting Mark Jefferson back into his chair after class while she shows him just how far she’ll go for an A. Coming out on top during a Judo match with Alyssa (hey, that happened just one time, ok?)

Lately, though, her Kate scenarios had been different. Kate pressing her back onto the tiled wall of the girl’s dorm showers, her mouth roaming all over Victoria in an effort to sate her insatiable hunger while steam and warm water envelops them. Or Victoria held down, wrists tied to her bedposts with violin strings while Kate’s deft fingers play her body like a musical instrument.

But no, those kinds of thoughts are not what made Victoria’s mouth go dry and her mind go blank just now.

It’s Kate’s _eyes_.

Those wide, glistening, _intense_ goddamn eyes. Wild eyes that flit to and fro as if taking in every detail of Victoria’s face before returning to meet her flummoxed gaze. Hazel eyes that, this close, reveal hidden flecks of gold that shimmer in the fading remnants of sunlight. Eyes that broadcast so many emotions in an instant that it’s hard for Victoria to catch them all. Fear. Need. Anguish. Devotion.

It’s those eyes that have rendered Victoria momentarily mute, trapped, like a doe transfixed by oncoming headlights.

Why was Kate looking at _her_ like that, after all the antagonism, snide comments, and outright threats Victoria hurled her way over the past month?

And God, why couldn’t _Max_ look at her like that, even _once_?

Several seconds pass while the girls simply stare at each other in stunned silence, lips slightly parted from exertion. Quick, sharp breaths the only sounds passing between them. Little more than two feet of distance separates them now, with Victoria’s hand still firmly gripping Kate’s shawl.

It’s Kate who ends this stalemate, her eyes somehow managing to widen even further and her face flushing a deep shade of crimson. Nervously she looks down at the ground, finally breaking the spell long enough for the Queen of Blackwell to quickly pull her hand back as though she’d been holding it to an open flame.

“Vi—Victoria!” the girl stammers, now seemingly fascinated by her shoes. “I was just—”

“Wh—” Victoria interrupts, doing her best to salvage that glare from before.

“What’s the fucking rush, Glenn Close? Realize you had a bunny to boil all of a sudden?” Not the most biting taunt she’d come up with by a long shot, but it’s the best she’s managed to recover by this point.

Kate’s face scrunches up with confusion and a touch of horror at the suggestion, causing Victoria’s lips to purse in annoyance.

“… seriously? _Fatal Attraction_? Michael Douglas? She cooks… Jesus, do you even _attend_ Film Literacy class?” She holds up a hand to forestall Kate’s response before it begins. “Know what? Don’t care. Get a nice eyeful back there or what?”

“I’m… I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” Kate starts to tentatively reach out for Victoria’s arm with her right hand, seemingly forgetting she was using that one to hold her sketchbook as it tumbles to the ground. “I was just worried about y—”

“Oh? And who the fuck made it your business to—”

Victoria’s retort dies on her lips as the sketchbook flaps open from the impact, and a small, glossy square escapes its pages to skid along the grass toward her designer shoes. Again, she finds herself shocked into silence, this time at the sight of her own eyes staring back at her.

A tiny gasp erupts from Kate’s lips as she sees what has captured the other girl’s attention, and she takes an involuntary step backward, raising her hand up to cover her mouth as Victoria bends down to pick up the photo.

Of course, Victoria recognizes it instantly. Her blonde, perfectly coiffed hair that she’d spent half an hour getting just right before taking the shot. Her cute black top. Her eyes gazing longingly at the camera. An uncharacteristically sweet smile, one meant to be just for the image’s viewer. One of her favorite selfies, especially since Max had gushed over how lovely and artful it was that one time. One that had disappeared from the collection she kept in the girl’s locker room more than a week ago.

“You’ve… you’ve been in my _locker_?” she seethes. “You’ve _stolen_ my _shit_?!”

“No!” Kate shouts, punctuating it with a shake of her head strenuous enough to send a few wispy strands of blonde hair flying loose from her bun. She lets go of her bag’s shoulder strap to clutch the gold cross hanging from her neck. “I swear, I wouldn’t—”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Victoria continues to scan the picture in her hand, her mind racing. Kate’s whole deal could be a pain in the ass sometimes, for sure, but she was mostly innocuous. Easy to ignore. A dark part of Victoria might have even enjoyed the attention, if not for the bizarre shit the crown-princess of abstinence had tried to pull right in front of Max in the locker room a while back. Maybe that part of her still did, even so.

But _this_. This could get her _expelled_. Victoria wrenches her gaze from the picture finally, once again casting her furious glare at those hazel eyes that so captivated her moments ago. Eyes that are now ridden with guilt, glistening with tears that will soon begin their inexorable march down the girl’s pale cheeks.

She’d never feel those eyes on her again.

…

“Whatever.” She spits at last, and Kate flinches at the word. Victoria arches a perfectly shaped brow, her lips quirking into the shape of the sadistic little smirk she’s infamous for. The one known to drive terror into anyone it happens to be directed at.

She doesn’t _need_ to get Kate expelled. This is _power_. This is _conquest_. Why would she want to give that up?

Keep your enemies close, right?

“Oh, _Katie_ …” she draws the words out, taking the time to savor every syllable. “When they say ‘Take a picture, it’ll last longer’ that’s not quite how they mean it. But… at least you have good taste.” With a flick of a manicured finger against its’ edge, she sends the photo spinning back to the ground in front of Kate.

“Know what? Keep it. I most certainly do _not_ want to know what you’ve been doing with it. _Amusez-vous bien_!”

The girl appears to be frozen in place, mouth still covered, clutching that cross for dear life. Hazel eyes locked onto the sweet, emerald-eyed visage in the grass before her. Without another word, Victoria breezes past her on the way to her dorm-room.

She doesn’t even need to turn around to know that Kate, after just a moment of hesitation, is slowly bending down, her delicate hand shaking as she gently retrieves the photo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title reference: _Somebody's Watching Me_ by Rockwell


	3. Have you seen my love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria gets a call from an unexpected source.

**October 10 th, 2013**

Victoria’s hands shake as she lights another cigarette – her seventh in half as many hours, and the last in her pack.

She isn’t a heavy smoker, by any means. She'd have one occasionally in social situations, at a party or out drinking with the girls. Or when she needed an excuse to get away from people for a minute, to step outside and just think. Sometimes even to just look cool or alluring, if the situation called for it.

She also smokes when she's stressed out, and _hoo boy_ is that ever the case today.

*****

Memories of the previous night are a swirling mass of emotions. Anger. Humiliation. Worry. The exultation she'd felt at putting Creepy Kate in her place had been a welcome distraction, but one that ultimately proved to be short-lived after she found herself alone in her room, waiting for a call, or a text, or the sound of Max's door, or a fucking _Instagram update_ or anything.

An attempted visit by Courtney and Taylor had been sternly rebuffed, and they both knew better than to press the issue. She did chat with them here and there via SMS or IM. It was easier to appear nonchalant that way, and they didn't need to know that she was mostly driven by paranoia to verify that her phone was, indeed, still working.

Sleep had been a long time coming, only to be fitful and restless once it finally did. She must have woken up half a dozen times to check her notifications. She even crept out once or twice into the desolate hallway in the middle of the night to try Max's door -- still locked, with no light or sound emanating from the other side. She idly wondered, as she snuck back to her room, if Kate ever listened at her door in the middle of the night. Though the thought of it made her ears burn from embarrassment, she assured herself that she was not, in fact, a raging hypocrite. _Extenuating circumstances and all that._

Morning saw no improvement to her mood, as she'd still heard _fuck all_ from Max and had to deal with the added stresses of sleep deprivation and forced social interaction on top of that. Even Warren Graham, _of all people_ , chose the few minutes before the start of Mrs. Grant's Chemistry class to bumble up to her with his grating ' _Joss Whedon writes my dialogue_ ' schtick, as if he had _any_ excuse to exist in Victoria's presence. Thankfully an icy glare over the top of her Prada sunglasses sent him hastily back from whence he came, as she was not in the mood for a shitty _Dr. Who_ reference or whatever the fuck he'd intended to ramble on about.

She heard not a single word of Mrs. Grant's lecture for the day, opting instead to unlock her phone for what must have been the hundredth time since yesterday, to stare at the same stupid words right-justified in blue:

\-----

Max, are we cool?

Just wanted to make sure since you walked away so fast.

Nathan was worried too.

If you want to talk, hit me up, k?

Love U! – **10/09 8:14** **pm**

Max, if you’re mad, just tell me, k? – **10/09 8:16 pm**

Silence. So if you want to talk, my door is open.

Love U!!! – **10/09 8:18pm**

\-----

What her useless piece of shit phone didn’t show were the dozen or so messages she’d typed out, but never sent, such as:

LOL you know I was kidding right???  
Way to take a joke and RUN with it! XD

Or

GIRL U will never guess who had my stolen selfie, call me ASAP!

Or better yet

WTF???

U TRYNTA PULL A RACHEL AMBER ON ME???

FUCK U CAULFIELD LIKE I’D DATE UR SKANK ASS ANYWAY

U BOTH CAN FINGERBANG EACH OTHER IN HELL!!!

All pathetically obvious pleas for attention, all deleted almost instantly.

Halfway through the class, her eyes were still locked on the latest message she’d drafted more than an hour ago, as she tried desperately to blink away the stinging behind her eyelids.

_Please just be ok_

Victoria was no closer to a decision on whether to hit Send or Delete when her phone began to ring. At first she was going to ignore it, because _Not Max Don’t Care_ … but then she remembered what the four letter contact name stood for.

**ABPD**

As in… _Arcadia Bay Police Department_.

Victoria’s hand shook as she raised the phone to her ear and eked out a timid “Hello?”. The teacher staring right at her from the front of the classroom could have spontaneously combusted for all she’d noticed.

She didn't need to be able to understand the sobbing, nearly incoherent voice on the other end of the line to know that whatever this was, it was _bad_. She didn't even hear Mrs. Grant's spluttering protest as she bolted from the classroom, what Taylor referred to as her ‘ _Rich Bitch Training_ ’ (drilled into her by her parents' legal team and put into practice cleaning up more than one of Nate's messes over the years) kicking in almost instantly.

_Shut the fuck up. Do you have a lawyer? I'll make some phone calls. No, don’t worry about that, I’ll call your parents too. Look I'll be there soon, ok, but seriously, shut the fuck up!_

A Bluetooth call to one of the three law firms she had on speed dial. Even if she couldn’t talk mommy and daddy dearest into covering the cost, she could at least find someone who’d be both worth a damn and willing to work with the Caulfield’s pending an initial consultation. Whatever, what was important was getting Max the fuck out of there right now, and that Victoria could cover with her weekly allowance. She’d figure the rest out later.

Then Max’s parents. Her father, Ryan he insisted she call him, was understandably upset but… took the news more in stride than she’d expected. Apparently, he practiced in Seattle, though not in criminal defense. He did seem a bit off-put at hearing she’d already contacted a law firm on Max’s behalf, until Victoria dropped the name. Helena Ortiz was well known throughout the Pacific Northwest as not only a mother-fucking _bulldog_ , but one that was willing to do some pro-bono work should the right case present itself. He assured Victoria that he and his wife, who she was pretty sure she could hear screaming at some poor ABPD phone clerk in the background by then, would be there as soon as they could manage.

It stung that he didn’t seem to have ever even heard Victoria’s name before today, but she tried her best to push that aside.

She also tried to push aside the surging feeling within her chest at the thought that of all the people in her life, Max had called _her_. That one was a bit tougher to ignore.

All this of course was happening while she violated pretty much every traffic law in the books, which, given her destination was a police station _did_ seem like a spectacularly bad idea… but whatever. She’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

*****

And so that’s how she ended up here, smoking her last cigarette down to the filter while leaning up against the driver’s side of her black Audi drop-top in a police station parking lot with one eye on the entrance and the other on her phone, ready to field calls as needed. Fuck her nerves, fuck shaky hands, and, yeah, fuck tha po-lice. She is running on adrenaline, nicotine, and pure righteous indignation on Max’s behalf. She is Victoria _fucking_ Chase, and she is _handling this shit_.

She did however wish she had some food or even a bottle of water in her car as she’d skipped breakfast this morning and didn’t dare leave for even a few minutes, and she also didn’t dare going into the station to hit up the vending machine after nearly getting herself arrested earlier because of course those _troglodytes_ wouldn’t let her just waltz in and scoop Max up into her protective embrace and < _DEEP BREATH_ >.

But again, whatever. No trouble staying under her calorie goal for the day at least.

Last cig laid to rest, Victoria finally bites the bullet and checks her notifications. She’d muted literally everyone but the Caulfields, lawyers, and her own mother, but not before sending a group text to the people that mattered that she was helping Max with something and wouldn’t be in class today. She really didn’t care to divulge anything more at this point as it wasn’t her business to share, but at least their close friends would know they aren’t dead in a ditch or being sex trafficked or something.

Sorting by her most active conversations because _LMAO like I need to know how Samuel the Janitor’s day is going or something_ , she only halfway pays attention as she scrolls.

_Let’s see… bullshit… bullshit… bullshit… more bullshit… nothing to see here f—_

_Wait what hold the fuck up…???_

_\-----_

**Sweet T** – K. Thx for letting me know!

<3 <3 <3 – **10/10 11:45 AM**

**Sweet T** – GAWD Nate is being sooooo dramatic today.

It’s a party, chill! – **10/10 12:37 PM**

**Sweet T** – Thinking of you both!!! Xoxo – **10/10 2:15 PM**

**Sweet T** – Dude fyi your side-piece is freaking tf out in Jefferson’s Class lol

She asked where you were

I said your mom sent you to gay conversion therapy

BUT she didn’t seem to find that funny lol??? – **10/10 3:16 PM**

**Sweet T** – She’s like hyper-ventilating and shit??? Lol… - **10/10 3:19 PM**

**Sweet T** – It’s pretty funny…… But IDK you want me to say sumthin??? – **10/10 3:22 PM**

\-----

_… Huh??_

Victoria hits the back button and scrolls, scrolls, scrolls trying to figure out who in God’s na… _OH_.

_Oh what fresh hell is this_?

Her left eye involuntarily twitches as she selects a contact from waaaaay down the list.

\-----

**Kate M.** – Hello Victoria...

I’m really sorry to bother you but I see you’re not in class

Alyssa said you weren’t in Media Lab either

… is everything ok? Taylor won’t tell me anything. **– 10/10 2:55 PM**

**Kate M.** – Please Victoria. I’m so sorry for everything.

Just tell me you’re alright and I won’t bother you anymore ok? – **10/10 3:01 PM**

\-----

Almost as soon as she sees them, three bouncing dots appear below the last message. _Seriously? Was she just staring at the screen this whole time waiting for my messages to go "read"? Who even does that???_

\-----

**Kate M.** – Victoria??? – **10/10 3:39 PM**

\-----

Victoria’s mind races through possible replies, ranging from “Jesus, chill out FREAK” to “FUCK OFF” to “New phone who dis?” But… something about Kate's words force her to hesitate.

_Please just be ok_

She swallows a lump in her throat as she scrolls up to view the previous message history.

\-----

<https://youtu.be/mfI1S0PKJR8>

_Amuse-toi bien! <3_ – **8/30 9:15 AM**

**Kate M.** – Hi!!!!:)  
Thanks for the video, I really like that song!

I’m not sure I understand why the guys in foam skirts and pointy shoes are slapping each other though haha. – **8/30 9:20 AM**

Your guess is as good as mine!

Was thinking of biting the blue guy’s style for 1st day of class tho.

Wanna coordinate? 😉 – **8/30 10:23 AM**

**Kate M.** – Oh nooo!! I would die! You are too funny!!!!:)😊 – **8/30 10:23 AM**

\-----

**Kate M.** – Hi Victoria!!!!:)

Feel free to stop by my room and pet my bunny sometime!:) – **8/31 12:01 PM**

:O :O :O

 _oh là là_! At least buy a girl dinner first! – **8/31 1:42 PM**

**Kate M.** – OHMYGOSH!!! You are TOO MUCH hahaha!!!!:)

I MEAN my pet rabbit ALICE would love to meet you! (_/=^.^=\\_) – **8/31 1:43 PM**

So I’ve been told…

Out today, but rain check? Xoxo – **8/31 1:44 PM**

**Kate M.** – Sure any time!! Have a blessed day!!!:) – **8/31 1:44 PM**

XOXO 😊😊 – **8/31 1:49 PM**

\-----

**Kate M.** – Hi again Victoria!!!:)

Sorry I haven’t texted in a while!

Stella Hill and I are planning a tea date tomorrow afternoon

You are invited of course! By the fountain @ 4:30 sharp! – **9/09 1:30 PM**

\-----

**Kate M.** – Victoria… can we talk?

It’s really important. – **09/24 4:10 PM**

…my room 10 minutes – **09/24 4:12 PM**

\-----

Unbidden tears well up in Victoria's eyes.

_'...but I only want to see you smile again.'_

_Fuck…_

The anger just... drains from her body like water through a sieve, but try as she might she can't bring herself to understand _why_. 

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

_I'm exhausted... that's what. Tired and nervous and FUCKING STARVING and..._

She moves her thumbs to begin typing “Look I’m fine ok?” but before finishing her eyes are drawn to the heavy police station doors as they begin to _KA-CHUNK_ open. Her heart begins to race in anticipation. She shakes her head as though to clear the bittersweet strands of the cobwebs that had attempted to take hold in her mind.

_I... I just need to focus on Max. I need to get her to Blackwell and everything will be back to normal. Nothing else matters right now._

Victoria takes a moment to squeeze her eyes tightly shut, before selecting BLOCK NUMBER and putting her phone away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time, so my apologies! This felt like it would have been a bit too much to include with what is coming next, but at the same time I couldn’t bring myself to part with it, so I decided to just post it as is to tide all of you over for Chapter 4. We WILL get more Max next chapter, I promise. But the question is… which Max will she be? And will Victoria get the reunion she is envisioning?
> 
> As an aside, I did not intend to include any Kate in this chapter at all but… gosh darnit I just couldn’t help myself. There was also an extended scene in the Chemistry class in my head at one point, but as I was writing it I started to get the feeling that less was more, in this particular case. Perhaps one day it will be included in the DVD extras. 😉
> 
> I would love some feedback regarding the chatlogs, as I am still trying to get a handle on the formatting with this site and am not sure how well these are working. Critique would be well appreciated, I can assure you!
> 
> ****
> 
> Chapter title reference – _[Have you seen my love](https://youtu.be/io6i210yJzA)_ by Rosie Thomas


	4. The One You Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria gets Max safely back to Blackwell. The other shoe drops.

**September 9 th, 2013**

Victoria sits next to her customary table in Jefferson’s classroom, absently chewing the inside of her cheek in thought as she reviews the message again. The words on the screen haven’t changed at all since the last twenty times she’s read them, but still she feels as though she’s trying to decipher a foreign tongue, or glean some hidden meaning from a cryptic cypher. After a while she sighs and puts her phone away, pursing her lips in annoyance. Of course, she was overthinking things as usual. The invitation was simple enough, after all. Innocent even.

_Not that I could accept it anyway, even if I wanted to. How would that even look, Victoria Maribeth Chase just sitting there in front of everyone, having a gay old time with… I mean, what would people even THINK?_

The word “date” certainly gave her a fluttery feeling, but given the Christian outlook on same-sex relationships it was obviously not meant in that context. Also since there would be a third person involved, who…

_Wait…_

Her eyes narrow with suspicion as they dart up to peer at the girl sitting just in front of Taylor, wearing a blue hoodie with yellow collar and her long dark hair pulled back in a pony tail.

_There’s no way that she and Stella are… right?_

She unlocks her phone and reviews the message for the twenty-first time.

There had been some… potential there. Or at least Victoria thought there was. She and Kate were among the first few students to move into the dorms the week before class started and there seemed like a vibe. Flirty, fun. And a bit bittersweet too, for some reason she couldn’t quite place. But then once classes started things got awkward. Victoria felt like Kate was maybe trying to avoid her.

_I probably pushed things a bit too far. Misread things and made her uncomfortable. I didn’t realize she was religious at the time, so…_

Then a few days ago Victoria saw her putting up Abstinence Awareness flyers, which may as well have said in big, bold print: ‘ **VICTORIA CHASE YOU ARE BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE.** ’

At least she hoped that was the case. Victoria was pretty confident in her “game”, as it were, but if it turned out that she _actually drove someone to taking an abstinence pledge_ that might not be something her ego could survive.

_I bet they're staging an intervention or something... "Praying the gay away" or whatever. Homophobic assholes..._

Some amount of time later she gets the vague sense that someone is standing nearby, but doesn’t pay it any mind until she hears a polite cough. Looking up to inspect the person who is looming over her, Victoria groans internally.

Max _fucking_ Caulfield.

> _Life as a Blackwell Academy senior had been going pretty much according to plan for Victoria. She’d expected, of course, to clearly establish herself as head bitch on campus from day one, which was accomplished easily enough. She and Nathan had spent most of junior year scheming and forging alliances in preparation for taking over the Vortex Club, the most prestigious student group in a highly prestigious art school, and with last year’s crop of seniors gone there was nothing standing in the way of the pair becoming the de facto Queen and King of the club, and thus the school itself. Sure, there were some pains in the ass who would be difficult to schmooze or coerce that were also too popular or well-connected to kick out of the group, but with the combination of Chase and Prescott money and sheer force of will, they wouldn’t be too challenging to work around._
> 
> _The Vortex Club had started out as an anti-bullying group back in the 80s, but these days it was mostly about drinking and partying, and with her and Nathan at the helm even the nominal activities in the previous direction were a thing of the past. No one had time for that bullshit, anyway._
> 
> _To top it off she was near the top of her class academically (ok sure she let her minions do some of her coursework but only for the pointless classes no one cared about), and there was no one to stop her from catching the eye of Mark Jefferson, her photography teacher and hopefully future mentor. Mark was a highly respected photographer in his own right, who had taken time off from taking the art world by storm to try his hand at teaching the next generation. Having him in her back pocket could launch her entire career… plus, he was pretty hot, so if she needed to get him in her ‘front pocket’ to help things along, well, c’est la vie!_
> 
> _Then Max (“oh, no, never Maxine, I’m far too cool and quirky to use my full name!”) Caulfield had to roll up in her shitty little Subaru hatchback with her Polaroid camera and her Payless shoes that she still managed to pull off and her ice-blue eyes and dumb model face and her je ne sais quoi and her magic mouth that always said the right things to make everyone just love her. Even Taylor, Victoria’s most loyal acolyte, liked Max… as evidenced by the several times they’d had their little chats under the tree in front of the Girl’s Dorms when she didn’t think Victoria was looking. She was annoying and charming and nosey and perfect and Victoria hated her instantly._
> 
> _But it seemed like Victoria was the only one who did (well, save for Courtney – no way was she going to take to a girl who looked like she’d never even heard of Sephora much less shopped in one), as even Mark Jefferson just absolutely jizzed himself over her style of art that <ahem> “manages to capture an air of unreality to the scenes she photographs, as though showing the viewer a glimpse of a hidden world just behind the curtain”. The worst part was that she managed to do it all without seeming like she was even trying. Plus, she knew her shit. Sometimes Victoria would raise her hand with a smug smirk and perfect answer to one of Mr. Jefferson’s questions locked and loaded and Max “teacher’s pet” Caulfield would beat her to the punch, giving the exact same answer like she could read Victoria’s mind or something._
> 
> _Not that Victoria minded having a rival per se. She was ambitious, driven to be the best there was at anything she does. Having competition elevated her, and it’s not like anyone else in this school was even close to her level. Evan Harris, insufferable hipster that he was, was the only other person in Jefferson’s class who was serious about pursuing photography as a career._
> 
> _Sure, fine, Max could be a rival or whatever… she just didn’t have to be so good at it right off the bat, did she?_

So… yeah, Max _fucking_ Caulfield. Standing over her. With her arms crossed over her petite chest, staring at her with those amused sapphire eyes and that smirk that says ‘ _I know exactly what you’re thinking._ ’ Perfect!

“Well if it isn’t the selfie-ho of Blackwell. Something I can do for you, _Maxine_?” Victoria asks, eyebrow raised.

“Actually, there is _Vickie_ , but I don’t want to interrupt you if you’re planning a hot date or something.”

Victoria chokes a bit but tries to cover it by turning her head to the left and coughing into her hand. She definitely doesn’t turn her head to the right, where Kate Marsh has been sitting in her usual spot next to the window, making happy little humming noises and drawing in her ever-present sketchbook since Victoria arrived. Mainly because 1.) it wasn’t that kind of date and 2.) it wasn’t happening anyway and 3.) every time she did look at Kate, _like literally every single time, it was uncanny_ , the girl would look back at her and give her one of those shy little smiles that made her eyes seem to twinkle and Victoria did not need that shit right now with Max _fucking_ Caulfield staring right at her.

Instead she feigns an apology. “I’m _so_ sorry, my allergies must be acting up again. It is _basic bitch_ season after all… anyway, what makes you say _that_?”

“Oh well just that you’ve been staring at your phone and gnawing on your lip ever since I got to class.” There’s that smirk again.

“So, you’ve been watching me the whole time? Wow, creeper much?”

A little shrug. “I dunno, what if I was?”

Victoria resists the urge to grit her teeth. One of Max’s _worst_ qualities was that it seemed like no matter what Victoria said, no matter how many barbs she threw, she could never get a rise out of her. She’d just smirk, or grin, or roll her eyes, but she always had that same cool vaguely-amused look on her face. It was infuriating.

Instead Victoria sighs dramatically. “Not that I can _blame_ you or anything, I mean” she moves her hands up and down as if putting herself on display. “But… what would _you_ know about dating, anyway? _Some_ of us can actually get laid without having to throw ourselves at Mr. Jefferson on a daily basis, you know?”

Max laughs in that way that says ‘ _I’m the only one in on this particular joke_ ’ that annoys Victoria to no end.

“Don’t you mean ‘ _Mark_ ’?” she asks with a surly smile. Victoria’s eyebrows shoot up to her hairline and her jaw drops open with outrage.

_This bitch…!!_

The petite girl holds up a placating hand. “ _Kidding_ , but… no… I’m not really into older men.”

The way Max said “older men” got Victoria’s radar pinging just a tad. She couldn’t quite tell if the brunette was emphasizing the “older” or the “men” more… it could’ve gone either way. _Heh._

_Interesting… I was actually starting to wonder if she was asexual or whatever. Or just frigid._

Victoria crosses her own arms now. “Well now that we’ve had a nice long chat about our sex lives _or lack thereof_ , is there something you _actually_ want, Caulfield?”

“I, uh…”

Max looks down for the first time since their interaction began, and allows her right arm drop, left hand still clutching at the opposite elbow.

_Wait… is she actually nervous? Ice-Queen Maxine, having human emotions right in front of me???_

Literally incapable of resisting the urge to exploit a sign of weakness, Victoria snaps a finger in front of Max’s face to try to throw her off further. “What are you having a stroke or whatever? Need me to go get the nurse? Spit it out Caulfield, _Mr. Jefferson_ will be here to start class any minute.”

Max actually _blushes_ slightly.

_What is this I don’t even_

“I… wanted to ask if… we could work together on this week’s photography project.”

…

Victoria blinks.

Max looks down at her shoes again.

Victoria squints suspiciously.

In the corner of her eye she can see Taylor’s head begin slowly turning toward her, as though she was trying to get a better look at a feral cat but was trying her best not to scare it away at the same time. Victoria does her best to ignore her.

“You…” she points, “want _moi_ ”, she lightly touches her chest for emphasis, before pointing back at Max again “to help _you_ … with _photography_?”

Max looks conflicted, as though for once in her entire life she’s having trouble finding the words she wants to say.

Victoria’s intensely aware of the fact that Taylor has now fully turned in her seat to watch this unfold, and is grinning at her while resting her chin in one hand, elbow propped on her knee. She does not give her the satisfaction of looking in her direction.

_This… has got to be some kind of trap, right? Is she trying to sabotage my grade or something?_

Eventually, Max sighs. “Look, I know we’ve got this whole friendly rivalry thing going,—”

“I _never_ said friendly—”

“—BUT I’ve always respected your work. You have a great eye, a lot of your shots are even… Richard Avedon-esque.”

Victoria is shocked, momentarily struck dumb. “He’s… one of my heroes. Thanks Max.”

Max carries on with the hard-sell. “Plus, your framing and compositional skills are way beyond mine. And this week’s project is candids, which I’m not especially strong at. I’d really just love to learn from you.”

Victoria is experiencing the struggle of a lifetime to control the muscles of her face well enough to keep from smiling. She does her best to keep her lips pursed instead. For her part, Max’s smirk and those cool amused eyes have returned.

_Shit. She has me on the ropes and she knows it._

“So… whaddaya say? Want to work together this time and maybe put a _little_ friendly in our rivalry?”

Victoria does look to Taylor finally, her friend, her best-est buddy since Freshman year, to swoop in with the save.

The heartless monster is just grinning back at her, waggling her eyebrows like a maniac and jerking her head in Max’s direction like _‘oh come onnnnnn Vic, what do you have to lose?’_

_Shit-balls bitch damn FUCK._

She gives Taylor her best _‘you are SO dead’_ look, which is of course summarily ignored. She then heaves out a sigh and makes a show of coolly inspecting her nails, before graciously acquiescing. “I _suppose_ a little collaboration between peers would be… acceptable. When shall we get started?”

Max grins widely. “Thanks Victoria! I’ve got a history test to study for tonight but… how ‘bout tomorrow, after class?”

She thinks of tea and hazel and red lips as she hesitates to answer for a moment. Then she thinks of a gold cross, and hurriedly closed doors.

“Yeah… sounds good.”

Max rests her weight on Victoria’s table by leaning in on her right hand, and when she speaks next her voice is low, conspiratorial.

“By the way… I don’t think your friend likes me very much.”

“Who, Taylor? You must be _high_.”

_Also I never liked HER very much anyway and she’s DEAD_

But the brunette just shakes her head and casts her eyes to the left. Following her gaze, Victoria sees Kate still sketching away, her jaw clenched tightly as though she’s concentrating especially hard on her work.

As if on cue, Kate looks up to meet Victoria’s eyes with her own, and gives her one of those sweet, sweet smiles. Then she looks at Max and rolls her eyes before turning back to her drawing.

Victoria sighs, but at least tries to make it sound like an exasperated one. “Oh, Katie and I are–“,

Elsewhere in the room a pencil clatters to the floor as Max mouths the word ‘ _Katie?_ ’, one eyebrow raised.

_Shit._ “ _Kate_ and I are just dorm neighbors. If I had to guess though, she’s probably allergic to basic bitches as well. _I’m_ just polite enough to _try_ to hide it.”

Now Max rolls _her_ eyes, standing up straight as Mr. Jefferson walks in. “ _Sure_.”

The brunette hesitates. “So, anyway… tomorrow after class, then?”

“Yep, I’m… actually kind of looking forward to it. _Au revoir.”_

“Great…” Max says, and flashes that crooked grin one last time before leaving to take her seat. “… it’s a date. _“_

Victoria feels her cheeks flush despite herself, and finds that she spends most of the rest of the class racking her brain to try to figure out whether she’d somehow just gotten played. It’s not until Mr. Jefferson unexpectedly calls on her with a question that she has to stammer out an answer for like a simpleton that she finally decides to set those thoughts aside for now.

_Max fucking Caulfield…_

*****

**October 10 th, 2013**

Max hadn’t been the one to exit the police station earlier after Victoria put her phone away. At least, she hadn’t been the _first_ to do so.

Before that a middle-aged couple, both blonde, both vaguely familiar in a way Victoria couldn’t put her finger on, had been the ones to push through those heavy glass and metal doors. The man was handsome, with a strong jaw and blue eyes that, even red with tears and wracked by sadness, still shown with quiet, graceful kindness. He had his arm around the sobbing woman to his right, doing his best to gently guide her down the stone steps that led down to the parking lot.

Then the woman looked up at Victoria, still leaning against her Audi in wait, and her blue eyes hardened into a baleful glare.

It was the second time Victoria had been glared at that day. The first was shortly after she’d sent Warren scurrying back to his desk in chemistry class. That glare had come from her lab partner for the week, Brooke Scott. The bespectacled girl with the red streak in her long black hair and the constantly shitty attitude. For the life of her Victoria couldn’t figure out what the chick’s problem was.

But whatever. _That_ glare would at worst have been accompanied by a passive-aggressive sigh or some devastatingly salty-bitch type comment.

_This_ one screamed ‘ _felony_ ’. Victoria felt the momentary urge to flee, but fought to steel her nerves. _Not without Max._

But the familiar man with kind eyes just continued to gently cajole his wife into following him, until they reached their car, an older-model sedan that appeared to have seen better days. The tires squealing as they pulled out of the lot a touch too fast were the only outward sign that the man at the wheel was in as much a desperate state as his wife appeared to be.

As the car sped past, a flash of blue drew Victoria’s eye and she followed it down to a spot on the asphalt just between her and the doors. Squinting didn’t help at all, so she pulled out her phone to access the camera, sliding her fingers outward on the screen to zoom in. There on the grimy asphalt lay the crumpled form of a blue butterfly, it's one functioning wing moving in a slow, helpless flapping motion. It momentarily struck her that this was the kind of shot Nathan would have been all over, were he here. He had a flare for the macabre. She couldn’t bring herself to take it.

Finally, the doors began to _KA-CHUNK_ open again and, finally, this time it _was_ Max’s face blinking into the sunlight as she timidly stepped outside. She was being flanked by a tall man in a smart business suit. Not Helena Ortiz, obviously, she likely wasn’t even in-state yet (hell, she didn’t even need to be in the _country_ to get shit done), but almost certainly a junior associate. He was leaned in to speak something into her ear, and Max was nodding along in response, but her eyes were scanning the lot. When her eyes settled on Victoria they lit up with relief in a way that just broke the blonde girl’s heart, and when Max sprinted over and nearly threw herself into her arms, sobbing into Victoria’s neck while whispering _‘thank you, thank you, thank you so much’_ , she just knew that everything would be ok. She had Max back. They’d figure the rest out together.

As she put the Audi in gear to reverse out of her parking space, though, Victoria’s green eyes were once again drawn to that spot of blue in the sea of black, now motionless thanks to whatever cruel design of fate that placed the poor creature first in the wake of that sedan as it sped away, and finally in the path of Max’s worn converse sneakers as she ran to the girl who loved her. And Victoria couldn’t help but think in that moment as she eased onto the road and back towards Blackwell Academy that it was the saddest thing she’d ever seen.

*****

The trip back to Blackwell Academy from the police station was far more sedate than the trip up. No pedals to the floor, no frantic phone calls. No screeching in frustration and laying on the horn at a group of school kids or old ladies or family of ducks or whatever daring to cross the road while Victoria needed to _rescue_ _her Max_.

Now the green eyed blonde simply drives in silence, lips pursed and brow furrowed with worry, her Audi cruising at a solid five miles below the speed limit. Here and there casting furtive glances at the small, suddenly frail looking girl sitting to her right, staring out the passenger side window.

Maxine… _Max? Caulfield? Max-churian Candidate?_

_Maxine_ hadn’t said two words since they’d gotten in the car. The only sounds between them were the hitching of the brunette’s breath as she occasionally reached up to wipe fresh tears from her cheeks.

Victoria desperately wants to ask her… anything. Everything. _Are you ok? What happened? What can I do to help?_

But if silence is what Max needs right now, the girl who loves her dares not break it. So, she drives.

“Where…” Max finally croaks, uttering her first word in several minutes as they drive down the seaside road. Her left hand is pressed to the passenger side window that she’s staring through, and her voice is quiet, distant in a way that makes Victoria’s stomach lurch.

“… where did the whales go?”

Victoria looks past the girl at the coastline beyond, and all she sees is sand, waves glistening in the sunlight, and a few people walking along the beach. She tries to keep the confusion and worry from her voice, and only half succeeds as she responds.

“Um… I don’t know, the ocean?” Where else are whales _supposed_ to be? _Seaworld_?

For the briefest moment she thinks she can smell something foul on the air, putrid like the scent of rotting fish left in a dumpster behind the market. But it’s gone as quick as it came. Victoria makes sure all the windows are fully rolled up, regardless.

Max doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the ride, and rather than press her any further Victoria just reaches out and takes hold of her left hand. She bites back tears of relief at the feeling of Max squeezing hers in return.

*****

Max is still glassy eyed and out of it as they walk back to the Dorms from the student lot, though at least she appears to know where she is, which seems like a good sign. Victoria still walks with her right arm around her back and her left hand on Max’s arm, doing her best to be comforting while at the same time shielding her from curious eyes as best she can. Her plan is just to get to Max’s room without incident, get her comfortable, order a pizza or something and just talk. Or not talk, whatever she needs. Should be simple enough, right?

Of course, it _isn’t_ that simple, it _never_ is, because the universe _hates_ Victoria Maribeth Chase and will twist itself in knots to make sure not a single one of her best-laid-plans _ever_ goes right.

It isn’t until she pushes open the stairwell door leading to the dorm’s 2nd floor that she hears the commotion.

“ _WHERE IS SHE_?!”

“Get your fucking hands _off of me_ you _CRAZY BITCH_ or I’ll…!”

Juliet and Dana, nosy bitches that they are, are standing in their own doorways watching the scene unfold. Alyssa too is standing halfway out of the entrance to the girl’s bathroom, hand covering her mouth in shock.

All three are looking down the hall in the opposite direction, toward Victoria’s room. Where _mother-fucking Kate Marsh_ is _slamming_ Nathan Prescott back into the wooden frame of the open doorway, the silk of his shirt twisted in the grip of both her delicate little hands. The look on his face is a twisted mixture of anger, indignation, and no small amount of terror.

“ _I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU DO TO ME_!!!” her voice is wild, cracking and nearly rising to a shriek on certain syllables. Kate slams him back again, hard enough that Victoria can hear the _thump_ all the way back here. “If you _HURT_ her, I’ll… I’ll _FUCKING_ …!”

“What the _FUCK_ is going on?!” Victoria finally snaps, now halfway down the hall. Max, thank God, hasn’t even seemed to have registered the insanity going down in front of them, but she’ll be _damned_ if she’s going to let this freak-show drama make her mental state any worse.

Kate’s head whips around so fast at the sound of Victoria’s voice that she’s half surprised she didn’t hear it snap. Those big eyes, wild with fury and red from the tears streaming down her face, widen in recognition. She let’s Nathan go so fast it’s as though she was never touching him in the first place, both hands rising to her mouth as she makes a startled, high-pitched little “ _oh..!_ ” sound, half-exclamation and half-relieved sob.

Nate remains with his back pressed against the doorframe as though he’s still being held there by invisible hands. Some of the rage drops from his face, his eyes darting between Victoria and the still nearly-catatonic seeming Max with confusion and worry.

After a pregnant pause they both start talking at once.

“VICTORIA! Oh thank God you’re ok I—

“Your fucking psycho dyke just went off and—

“I was so worried and he was in your room and I thought—

“She better step the fuck off or I’ll—

“ _SHUT THE FUCK UP_! Both of you!” Victoria doesn’t even bother trying to keep the disgust from her face as she shoots them one final glare before opening Max’s door and guiding the far-too-quiet girl inside. After gently depositing her on her bed, she quickly steps back out. She doesn’t turn to face the dumb-struck pair standing in her own doorway until she has fully closed Max’s door behind her, but when she does it causes both of them to take a step back, Kate into the hallway wall and Nate further into her room.

Victoria seethes at them through gritted teeth. “Ok, listen up! You, _Single White Female_?” she points a shaking finger at Kate. “Where _I_ am and who is in _MY_ room is none of _YOUR_ fucking business, and you better get that through your crazy fucking skull before Wells and I have a little talk about our chat yesterday. _Got it?_ ”

Kate, her hands still covering her mouth, legs shaking beneath her like a foal just figuring out how to stand up straight, nods her head hard in the affirmative. Though if the fucking weirdo was even the slightest bit intimidated by Victoria’s threat it doesn’t show in her eyes, which are still wide shimmering pools of tears and relief and pure, unbridled joy.

Nate was beginning to give Kate a smug ‘yeah take that, bitch’ sneer, but he flinches backwards when Victoria’s furious gaze and pointed finger turn to him. “And _YOU_ , Mr. Big-Man-On-Campus? Now I’m _really_ fucking glad you didn’t pick a fight with Warren yesterday because if you can’t even deal with a little 120-pound girl _HE’D_ have probably beat your ass into the ground! _Mommy’s_ not always going to be here to rescue you so maybe it’s time to grow the fuck up and handle your own shit!”

His mouth is agape for a few seconds after her tirade ends, but then he clenches his jaw and his eyes harden, taking on a… dark kind of glimmer that Victoria had only seen in the boy a few times before.

“Yeah… sorry Vic…” he says as he squares himself up, seemingly trying to gather up whatever dignity he has left. Finally, he turns and stomps down the hall, casting a glare in Kate’s direction as he growls “… this isn’t over, _bitch_.”

If Kate even registered his threat, she shows no sign of it. She just keeps those big, tear-filled hazel eyes locked on Victoria, even as her quaking legs finally give out and she slides down the wall to her knees. Even as Victoria disappears back into Max’s room and closes the door behind her.

*****

Max is still a bit glassy eyed a few minutes later as Victoria is fussing over her, wiping up tears and make-up stains from her face with a damp cloth, and digging out some fresh, comfortable clothes from the girl’s closet. As she kneels down on the floor to help the brunette out of her shoes, she finally speaks up with a small, sad voice.

“You really should have been nicer to Kate… I used to love our little tea dates…”

_Tea dates? I’ve never heard of Max even hanging out with Kate, much less drinking tea together._

Victoria’s brow furrows with confusion, but she doesn’t voice it. Instead she tries to focus on the task at hand, unrolling the sweat-damp socks from Max’s feet.

“… would you like some? Tea, I mean? I’m sure I can find some if…” Victoria finally says, motioning for Max to lift her arms up so that she can help her out of her top.

_I mean, I thought they kinda have more of a… mutual disdain thing going._

Pulling the top over her head, she hands the girl a comfy looking t-shirt with a silhouette of a doe on the front.

But Max is blinking rapidly now, shaking her head as though trying to clear the cobwebs while she slides the new shirt on.

"... tea?" she asks, crinkling her nose in disgust as though she hadn't just been going on about how much she liked it and _ok Vic, deep, calming breaths. She's clearly out of it, you just need to be patient._

“uh… no thank you... Some coffee would be good though…”

“Of course,” she says with an encouraging smile, giving the girls hands a squeeze. “I’ll go start the Keurig and be right back. Do you need help with the pants?” She can’t help but give a playful wink at that, hoping to make Max smile.

She does, and then rolls her eyes.

“I think I can handle that myself. I’m not helpless, Vic.”

“Sure, sure,” Victoria coos as she rises to her feet. “Can’t blame a girl for trying, though, right? Sit tight, _je reviens de suite_.”

Victoria takes the couple of minutes while the coffee is brewing to clean herself up a bit, to make herself a little bit more presentable. Deciding she doesn’t want to take time to change her own clothes, she settles for cleaning her face and teasing her hair back into place.

When she walks back into the room with a steaming coffee in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, she can hear Max on the phone. “yeah… yeah, great… I’ll see you soon. And… _Mommy_ …?” her voice starts to hitch and takes a high, child-like pitch at the last word, and Victoria’s heart breaks for her all over again. “ _I’m so sorry_ I… yeah I know but… ok. Ok, I love you too. Dad too. Bye.”

Victoria sits beside the sniffling girl as she hangs up her phone, and hands over the coffee which Max gratefully accepts. They sit and drink in silence for a few minutes, Victoria trying her best to just be there for her. After a while, she gently rubs her back and asks “… have you eaten anything? I could order a pizza…”

Max shakes her head “Oh, no it’s fine… I had some stuff from the vending machine, and… Mom and Dad will be here in an hour and a half or so, they’ll probably want to eat then. How about you…?”

“Um, yeah… I raided the vending machine too. We probably just missed each other.” She tells the white lie with a smile on her face. She’s starving, sure, but she really doesn’t want to take her focus off of Max unless _she_ needs something. She also does an admirable job at hiding her disappointment at the fact that Max doesn't extend the Mom & Dad dinner invitation to her as well.

_'Thanks Victoria, call me Ryan. And you're... a friend of hers?'_

Another awkward silence, then Victoria finally says “so… we definitely don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to, ok? I just want you to know I’m here to listen, if you do. And… whatever it is, it won’t change _anything_ , ok? I promise I’ll be here no matter what.”

Max’s chin starts to quiver as fresh tears make the trek down her cheeks. Victoria gently takes her hand and tries to reassure her that it’s ok, she doesn’t need to say anything at all, but the brunette shakes her head. “No… I want to talk about it.”

And she does.

*****

Victoria listens on as Max recounts the events of the past twenty-four hours. From blacking out in the middle of their conversation in the courtyard, to having absolutely no memory of what happened between then and the following morning. Of waking up that morning to find herself in a strange room, in a familiar home, and seeing the face of the friend she hadn’t seen in more than five years.

And then… the horror of finding out the friend she was sitting next to, as if she’d just appeared at her bedside by some kind of magic or cosmic force… was _dead_.

Victoria cries along with Max as she hears about how the girl screamed when she realized Chloe was dead. Screamed and begged and shook her shoulders, pleading for her to wake up. And then Chloe’s parents ran into the room, and then they were screaming too. Screaming for Chloe. Screaming at Max, asking her what she did. Why she did it. And Max had no answers because she couldn’t remember anything, she didn’t even know how she got there in the first place.

An ambulance. Paramedics. Questions. No answers. A morphine injector. Police. More questions. Still no answers. “We need you to come with us to the station, miss.”

Victoria can’t even begin to comprehend what the sobbing girl at her side must have been going through, is _still_ going through, how absolutely terrifying of an experience that must have been. To just wake up to something terrible and not know why any of it is happening and then everyone telling you it’s your fault and you just need to admit what you did and for God’s sake why did you kill her, why?

And dear lord does Victoria feel like the biggest asshole to ever exist when she thinks about how, that whole time that Max was going through this hellish experience, Victoria was making it all about _herself_. She doesn’t feel the need to tell Max anything of that, though… the poor girl has enough on her plate already.

At some point in the disjointed, rambling mess of a story, Max mentions the family's last name, and Victoria feels like the world further drops out from beneath her feet.

“Wait… your friend is _Chloe Price_? Chloe Price is _dead_?”

Max looks like she’s choking back yet another sob as she nods. “You… you knew her?”

Victoria smiles ruefully, thinking of a bright young Sophomore with a mouth like a sailor and a heart as big as they come. A pain in the ass that could work every last nerve in Victoria’s body, until a tragic car accident stole her future and left her quadriplegic.

“Yeah… we weren’t close or anything, but I saw her around a lot in school. She seemed like a really good kid.” She can’t help but giggle as one particular incident came to mind. “She could be a bit of a CUNSN though.”

Max looks at her quizzically, head cocked to the side. Victoria waves it off. “Nothing… just an inside joke we had.” Victoria dabs at her eyes with an already sodden handkerchief. “I… didn’t know you knew her either.”

“She was my _best_ fucking friend in the whole world...” Max is breaking down again, doubled over with the force of her sobs.

“Oh, _Max_ …”

“She was my best fucking friend and I _abandoned_ her! I moved away and left her all alone! I didn’t _visit_ her, even when I moved back here for school… and now she’s _DEAD_ , Vic, and it’s all my fault!”

Victoria is rubbing Max’s back, running fingers through her hair, squeezing her hand, doing anything she can think of to calm the girl down. “Max, _shh_ , no... that can’t be right. You wouldn’t do something like that, there’s got to be some kind of mistake. Faulty equipment, or maybe a nurse fucked up or one of her parents and they’re just blaming it on you…”

“William and Joyce would never do that.”

“And, what, _you_ would just kill your best friend? You’re not a serial killer Max.”

Max looks at her solemnly. “I don’t know… I’ve been thinking about it all day but… if I saw that she was in pain, and she had no way out or no one else to help her… maybe I would…?”

Victoria hadn’t thought of it like that, but Max’s explanation makes sense. If Max or Nate or Taylor or Courtney were hurting that much…

“The worst part… the worst part is I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Now she’s dead and I’ll never be able to tell her how much I still care about her.”

Victoria pulls her in close, guiding the brunette’s head to her shoulder with her right hand.

“No, Max… look, if what they told you is true, that you were… talking and watching movies, even going to the beach with her? I’m sure you told her all of that Max. I’m sure you told her every single thing you’ve been meaning to say. And if you knew she was going to die I’m sure you did get to say goodbye. And maybe someday when you’ve dealt with how traumatic this must be, maybe you’ll remember that perfect last day _you_ gave her.”

Max is still wracked with guilt and grief and sadness, but, after a time, she nods. It’s the first glimmer of hope Victoria has seen in the girl all day. They sit there just like that for a long while, with Max just quietly crying into Victoria’s shoulder, the blonde’s right hand soothingly brushing at the brunette’s hair.

*****

At one point she feels her phone buzz, and realizes she had forgotten to silence it before she came back in the room. She hesitates when she sees it’s from Nathan, but eventually taps to open it.

\-----

**Nate** – Yo V…

Sry bout earlier. U r right I can handle my own shit.

Hope Max is ok. Tell her we r here 4 her. – **10/10 4:55 PM**

**Nate** – Hey… don’t wry about coming 2 party 2night

I got this.

U stay in w/Max & take care of ur GF. :>

– **10/10 4:58** **PM**

\-----

Victoria can't help but smile and give an amused eyeroll at what she sees.

' _Take care of my girlfriend'..._ _thanks, Nate. I will._

Still smiling, she turns to relay Nathan's well-wishes to the girl at her side... when she finally sees it.

Her relationship with Max had always been three steps forward, two steps back. Any progress they made was hard fought, with Victoria usually taking on the more aggressive role. Which she was ok with, for the most part. Her name is _Chase_ after all. But it always seemed like Max would pull away a bit after each step. And so this dance would continue, at times even getting to a point where Victoria wondered if Max was losing interest... until the girl would finally surprise her with a kiss, or a sweet word, or a suggestive touch. Always just enough to keep the blonde coming back for more.

The most frustrating thing about dating Max Caulfield was that it seemed like no matter how many sweet nothings she whispered, or how many grand romantic gestures she made, she could never get a rise out of her. Her sapphire eyes would always reflect that same cool amusement, or a lusty smoulder, or something unreadable, mysterious. Despite her outward show of confidence, deep down Victoria knew that her insecurities often ruled her, and never seeing the emotion that... well, that she would have wanted to see... it was nerve-wracking. She never quite knew where she stood.

But now, with Max staring back at her, Victoria can finally see what she's longed for all this time. Deep down, behind the grief, and hurt, and fear, is that shining glimmer in those beautiful blue eyes that looks an awful lot like _love_.

Before she realizes what she's doing, Victoria is leaning in and planting a gentle kiss on Max's salty, tear-stained lips. And for a moment she feels as though she has everything she ever wanted.

But now Max is pulling away from her, quickly. Far too quickly. And she's off the bed in a flash and facing away from her, covering her mouth with her hands.

Victoria is beside herself with guilt. "Oh, God, Max... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to move so fast, I..." She is standing herself, now, and reaches out to reassuringly squeeze Max's arm, but the brunette pulls away.

"I'm... I'm so sorry Victoria..." her shoulders are shaking, her voice once again choked with tears.

Victoria clutches her hands together to keep herself from accidentally pushing the fragile girl any further. "No, babe please... you have _nothing_ to be sorry for, you're going through so much right now!"

"But I do!" she cries, rounding on her now, and Victoria can see the intense guilt marring the girl's pretty face.

It hits her, finally, like an avalanche. Victoria's eyes go wide, and try as she might she can't fully keep the hurt from her voice. "Chloe, she... she was more than your best friend."

Max covers her face with her hands and sobs again, nodding her head as she does. She's still shielding her eyes from Victoria when she speaks again, voice tortured and miserable. 

"I didn't realize until... until after the accident, I think. And by then, it just felt like I was too late. I was too scared to tell her, because I knew I was too much of a coward to see her like that, day after day, knowing we could never do what we'd dreamed about all those years..."

Victoria tentatively reaches out to grasp Max's arms with gentle hands. "Max... of course it's hard for me to hear that so suddenly, but... _it's ok_. Everyone has a past, God knows I do. If you need time to work through this I under..."

" _No_ , Vic, you _don't_ understand!" Max is shouting now, pressing her palms to her temples in frustration. "I can't _do this_ anymore! It's _not fair to you_!"

Victoria's hand flies up to her mouth, as though to hold back the pained wail that is trying to form there as she at last fully comprehends what Max is trying to tell her.

That look just now, that glimmer of love that shown through the pain... it wasn't for _her_.

It was _never_ for her.

"It was always Chloe..." Max sobs, as though answering the unvoiced question.

Victoria is stepping back, now, shaking her head as though doing so will stop it from being real. All those sweet moments they shared. Whispered words, stolen glances...

Her voice is high and breaking as she pleads "but... you _knew_ , didn't you? You knew I was falling in love with you..."

Max works her mouth wordlessly, before settling for a miserable nod.

"And... and when we made love?"

Max turns her head to the side, unwilling to meet her desperate stare.

"Maxine, _please_...!"

"I thought..." Max's voice is so, _so_ small. She still won't look Victoria in the eye.

"I thought I could prove to myself that I didn't love her anymore."

Victoria knows she should just run from this, run as far and as fast as she can, but she's unable to move. She's barely able to _breathe_ , her chest is constricting so tight. In her minds eye she can see the future she'd imagined her and Max sharing together in a series of still frames, like photographs. Graduating Blackwell. Sharing a room in college. Taking the photography world by storm.

Those images just seem to melt away before her, as though held to an open flame. And in their place she sees the life Max should have had, with Chloe. The life she desperately wants. Two pirates conquering the seven seas, together. And in _those_ photos Victoria can see the light of love in Max's eyes that she had always been denied.

Max is reaching for her now, stepping forward, reaching out with a hand she means to be comforting. "Victoria, I'm so, so sorry. I swear, I was going to tell you, that day that I..."

But Victoria bats the hand away, hard. She can't handle Max's pity right now. She has no more room left in her for shock, or sadness, or grief over the loss of a love she never really had to begin with.

All that's left is _fury_.

"It's fine!" she sneers. "Whatever, right? Just another fucking hook-up, _right_?"

Deep down, Victoria knows that what she says next is unfair. Unforgivable. A small part of her begs herself not to do it, it won't help, it will only make things worse. But she's been hurt, desperately so. And despite all the therapy sessions and mindfulness exercises and coping mechanisms she's worked on with her Doctor who has three PHDs, when Victoria Chase is hurt she only has one way to respond. And that's to _attack_. And to _keep_ attacking until the thing that hurt her can't ever do so again.

And now, after all this time, Victoria can finally see the chink in Max's otherwise impenetrable armor. The weakness she's literally incapable of stopping herself from exploiting.

"I guess I'm lucky, though, aren't I?" she growls through her tears, locking her furious emerald eyes to Max's anguished blue.

"We see how things turn out for the ones you _truly_ love."

Victoria doesn't even feel the slap that rocks her head back and makes her ears ring, not until much, much later. She can only think one thing as she stares into those wild sapphire eyes -- eyes that are now filled with rage and betrayal and _so much_ pain -- before finally turning to stalk out of the room and slam the door shut behind her.

_There it is._

Victoria Maribeth Chase _finally_ managed to get some emotion out of _Max fucking Caulfield_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew that one was tough to write, in the best way!
> 
> Shoutout to Pan, whose kind comment inspired me to flesh out more of the backstory between Max and Vic. After reading your comment I felt like I owed it to them, and once I started the words just flowed onto the page. :)
> 
> Also as a fellow Chasefield fan, I'm sorry. This truly did break my heart.
> 
> A very Kate-lite chapter, but she's going to get a bigger share of the spotlight next time... it is the End of the World, after all!
> 
> *****
> 
> Chapter title reference: [_My Heart Can't Tell You No_](https://youtu.be/rWugD3jlFts) by Rod Stewart


	5. I Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria discovers that a new player has entered the game. Kate has a shocking Revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly a "flashback episode", apologies in advance!
> 
> In-chapter songs:  
> 
> 
> [_You Caught the Light_](https://youtu.be/fp-MVXT572E) by CHVRCHES
> 
> [ _True Faith_](https://youtu.be/mfI1S0PKJR8) by New Order
> 
> ...

**Saturday, August 30 th, 2013 - Girls' Dormitory: Room 221**

_‘Sky is light…’_

_‘You caught the light…’_

Victoria’s green eyes flutter open, slowly adjusting to the morning light that filters through her blinds as the dreamy, almost ethereal music playing through her speakers swells and then begins to fade away, leaving behind only soft, soothing vocals to serenade her awake.

She smiles dreamily, raising her arms over her head as she lifts her hips up from the surface of her silk sheets to contort into a languid, luxurious stretch. Her lips part to release a high-pitched, satisfied “ _heeee…!_ ” as her spine pops, sending waves of pleasant tingling throughout her body.

_‘You carried mine…’_

_‘You caught the light…’_

She crosses her outstretched arms in front of her while sitting up into another lazy stretch, curling her toes into the fuzzy carpet at her bedside. She has no idea what time it is save for a vague-sense of mid-morning, and loves the fact that said knowledge is wholly unnecessary. It is days yet before classes will start, and while she has any number of errands to perform between now and then, she’s in no particular hurry to tackle any of them at the moment.

The music swells again into the track’s outro, and she reaches over to adjust the volume knob upward, rolling her neck as she does. She idly contemplates the dream she was having just before she awoke, now mostly faded like so much mist, leaving behind only vague sensations of brightness, comfort, and warmth. Like the promise of a new day. A _good_ day.

She is one of the first students to have moved into the Blackwell Academy Girls’ Dormitory, and, as far as she’s aware, the only one so far on this floor, so she settles on leaving the volume at just under ‘mild cacophony’… loud enough to be heard from the bathroom down the hall that is even now calling out its sweet siren’s song to her bladder. She shivers as the cool morning air teases goosebumps out of her mostly bare skin, so she grabs a pair of ankle length socks and an oversized t-shirt from her nearby dresser to accompany the lacy underwear she’d been sleeping in before braving the empty hall beyond her door.

The stereo shuffles to a poppy 80’s-era track, one of her favorites, and she grins with nostalgia as she lopes to her door, exulting at the feel of the bass and synth-heavy music vibrating through her body. Opening the door wide and feeling a bit impish in her current attire, she takes a running start to perform a _Risky Business_ -esque slide along the freshly buffed hallway floor.

It isn’t until she hears the surprised, melodic laughter emanating from the unexpectedly open door to her right that Victoria realizes she isn’t, in fact, alone on the floor this sunny morning. The sound of it causes her to nearly leap out of her skin, a startled and decidedly non-demure squeak escaping her mouth in the process.

Her socks fail to gain enough traction to stop her skid until she's about a foot past the source of the mysterious sound, but once she finally manages it Victoria turns to face the girl -- her new neighbor, presumably -- standing in the open entrance to room 220, hand raised to hide her laughter in an adorably lady-like fashion.

The girl before her has honey-colored hair done up in a loose, tasteful bun. Perhaps a bit old-fashioned but it suits her well. She's wearing a thin sweatshirt that doesn't quite do the job of hiding the curves she has hidden underneath, sneakers, and a pair of unassuming blue jeans that Courtney (and, ok, Victoria too, she _is_ a catty bitch after all) would surely refer to derisively as "Mom jeans"... but again, she has the hips to make them just _work_.

On top of that, her face is striking. Flawless pale skin. Red lips that curve deliciously. Expressive, hazel eyes that are twinkling with mirth and amusement at the sight before her.

Sure, she may not be what is commonly considered Victoria's "type", if such a thing even exists.

_But..._

This girl is _cute_. Like, _really_ cute. Like " _Hey, I know we just met, but I just realized that I don't have a stitch of make-up on right now and my hair is probably a mess and can we just rewind a few minutes back so I can make myself a bit more presentable please?_ "-kind of cute.

Oh well, nothing for it now. Victoria feels as though she already looks like enough of a goober as it is. Fleeing to the safety of her room at this point to do herself up would only compound the issue. Might as well just try to roll with it.

"Hi!" the girl calls out over the thumping bass, punctuating it with a friendly little wave. "Kate Marsh!"

Victoria steps in closer so that they don’t have to shout quite so much to hear each other ( _because sure that’s as good an excuse as any right?_ ) and holds out a hand to her new neighbor.

“Nice to meet you. Victoria.”

She always, _always_ stresses that she is, first and foremost, a Chase. But today it just doesn’t feel that important. Victoria will do for now.

Kate accepts the offered hand with one of her own, and gives it a gentle squeeze. Looking up and to the left, she says “ _Vic-tor-i-a_ ”, teasing out the name as though testing the feel of it on her tongue.

Apparently approving of the result, Kate beams at the person in question… and it’s one of those smiles that makes the room seem suddenly twice as bright. Victoria’s breath catches in her throat.

_...but I only want to see you smile again_

The sight makes her want to smile and cry at the same time. Victoria opts for the former.

Realizing that she has perhaps squeezed the delicate hand, _an artist’s hand_ , in hers a touch too long, Victoria reluctantly lets it go. Nonchalantly running her own newly empty hand through her hair _and oh Christ it’s awful and frizzy and kinking up at the ends and this is why you take an hour to get ready every morning dumbass_ , she leans her left shoulder up against the wall and asks “So, what’s your obsession?”

This seems to startle the hazel-eyed girl, whose dirty-blonde eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Her left hand raises up to her chest as if to clutch at something Victoria can’t see, but she lets it fall back to her side. “Ob- obsession?” she stammers.

Victoria can’t help but appreciate the way her lips curve into a little “o” shape at the end of the word. Seriously, is she wearing lipstick or are they just naturally this red and delectable—

Now the girl is giggling again, biting one of those very same lips and smiling shyly.

_Shit, she just caught me staring, didn’t she? Real smooth, Vic!_

Returning her gaze back to those twinkling hazel orbs, Victoria does her best to recover while her cheeks grow hot. “Y-yeah, what’s your area of specialty? Please don’t tell me you’re one of those nerds taking up a spot at an art school to study _Chemistry_.”

“Oh!” she laughs, and there’s that shape aga-- _nope, Vic, her eyes are **right there** , keep it together please._

“I guess if I had to pick only one it would be illustration. I’ve always wanted to draw children’s books, among other things.”

“ _Géniale_! I’d love to see some of your work. I’m a photographer, perhaps we can exchange portfolios sometime?”

“Yes, that would be great!” the girl grins, a flush starting to form on her own cheeks. After a moment she looks up toward the ceiling, nodding her head and twitching her hips a bit in perfect time with the beat. “This song is really interesting. I don’t think I’ve heard it before?”

Victoria returns the grin. “Ah, it _is_ a bit before our time, I guess. It’s called ‘ _True Faith_ ’, by New Order.” The girl’s hazel eyes widen a bit at this, before her smile takes on a rueful tinge as though she were just reminded of an inside joke. “Most people know it from the night club scene in _American Psycho_.”

Kate most certainly did _not_ need to know that Victoria discovered the song several years back while googling “ _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ Anime Music Videos”, or that it led to a secret obsession with synth-pop from 80s classics all the way to _avant garde_ modern bands like Jack Antonoff’s as-yet unreleased _Bleachers_ project. Not really a “just met” topic of conversation as far as Victoria was concerned. Hell, a lot of people she’s known for _years_ don’t know most of that, and she aims to keep it that way.

“Umm… sorry about the volume, though. I thought I was the only one here” she grins sheepishly.

“No, it’s fine. I really like it!” Kate beams again, and Victoria's stomach lightly flutters as she considers her next words.

Finally she extends her left arm, bending the wrist back to present her phone to the mysteriously captivating girl. "Well... I could send you a link to the video. If you don't mind giving me your number, that is."

Kate doesn't say anything for quite some time after that. She just looks at her, quizzically. Contemplatively.

Victoria's glad she doesn't have any place in particular to be at the moment, because she feels like those hazel eyes are pinning her to the wall.

_That wasn't too weird an ask, was it? I mean we're neighbors so it would make sense to exchange info anyway, right?_

Those delicate artists hands hesitantly reach out to take her phone. Then, with one final, questioning glance, she looks back down at the device and begins tapping quickly. Her face is lit up with one of those half-shy smile/half-lip bites as she finishes up and hands it back.

Victoria just smiles back for a long moment, not really saying anything but not particularly feeling a need to fill the silence. But when the sound of heavy tromping feet begin to echo out from beyond the propped-open stairwell door, the other girl's eyes widen. "Oh! Umm, my dad is bringing in more boxes from the car..."

"Yeah?" Victoria asks, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Does he need help or something...?"

Kate just grins sheepishly, spots of red blooming on her cheeks. Then she glances down at Victoria's legs.

When Victoria's eyes follow Kate's she realizes that aside from her socks and t-shirt, which hangs low enough to conceal the lace of her underwear from view _but only just_ , she doesn't have a bit of clothing on. 

"Shit!" she yelps, and nearly jumps again as she flees past her giggling new neighbor for the safety of her room. _So much for not looking like **more** of a total goober!_

"A pleasure to meet you, _Vic-tor-i-a!"_ Kate calls after her in a sing-song voice. Once Victoria peeks back out from behind her doorway, she can see the girl grinning... eyes once again twinkling with amusement. Despite her cheeks and ears blazing from embarrassment, she can't help but return it.

"All mine, Marsh."

*****

**Monday, September 2nd, 2013 - Girls' Dormitory: Shower Room**

Letting out a long, languid sigh, Victoria closes her eyes and allows the just-shy of too hot water continue to rush over her for a couple more minutes. Tomorrow is the first day of class, and since most of the student residents will be moved in by the end of the day, this is her last chance to really enjoy a nice shower without having to worry about the hot water running out or stepping out to see a line of floor-mates lined up with their resting bitch-faces and snitty comments about shower-hogging prepped and ready.

Not that she wouldn't do that a few times on purpose anyway, obviously. It was good to show people who was in charge right from the jump... but these past few days of just being _Victoria_ and not the Bitch Queen of Blackwell or Sole Heir to the Chase Family fortune had been especially pleasant.

Victoria smiles. Of course, she'd be a liar if she said her new neighbor hadn't been part of what made it so.

*****

After that fateful meeting a couple days ago, Victoria had spent several minutes face down on her bed with her head buried in her pillow, trying desperately to will the embarrassed flush from her face. She hadn't been at all prepared to meet someone new that day. Hell, she hadn't even been prepared to meet someone she already knew, for that matter. Her armor, the very persona of Victoria Chase that she carefully crafted over years of parental neglect, social climbing, and self-protection wasn't up yet. She had been caught in a moment of vulnerability. It was... unthinkable. _Unacceptable_.

However, the more she went over it in her mind, the more she thought that maybe it wasn't so bad. Sure, she'd looked like a disaster running through the halls unkempt and half-naked. But she made a pretty girl smile in the process, and even got her number to boot, so... that sure as hell wasn't _nothing_.

She and Kate had mostly only seen each other in passing since then. Each time Victoria saw her, she was struck by the sense of quiet grace the girl seemed to possess, reserved but always quick with a greeting and a sweet smile. Sometimes she would look into those hazel eyes and would get a feeling like that of hearing a beautiful song that you've associated with a painful memory. Joyous and inexplicably sad at the same time. Bittersweet in a way she couldn't quite put her finger on.

They had also texted back and forth a bit, which made Victoria a bit more comfortable being flirtatious. Test the waters with an innuendo here, an "xoxo" there, that sort of thing. Of course it was still early days yet, but there did seem to be some potential there. At least she didn't get the sense from Kate's responses that a door was being slammed in her face, so there was that at least.

Victoria even took Kate on her invitation to drop by and "pet her rabbit", and while she was slightly disappointed that it was not, in fact, innuendo after all, she couldn't complain too much. You could tell just from a glance that she was soft and warm, and you felt like you could just cuddle her for hours and hours if given the chance. 

And the rabbit, Alice, wasn't half-bad either! _BA-DUM tsshh..._

But seriously though, snuggling with Alice was just _the best thing_. It made her retroactively hate her parents even more for not letting her get the orange and gold striped kitten she'd desperately wanted when she was ten.

She had brought one of her favorite photo albums along with, and watching Kate's eyes as they pored over the shots, _her shots_ , was at the same time thrilling and nerve-wracking. She may have squeezed Alice a bit too tight each time the girl would gush over some particular aspect of a shot she really liked. Alice may have agreed, if the little warning bite mark Victoria received on her right arm was any indication.

She also found out that she and Kate would be sharing Mark Jefferson's afternoon photography class, which was another little something to look forward to.

At one point Victoria worked up the nerve to float the relationship question. After all, as cute as Kate was, if she was already dating someone or, more importantly, wasn't into women then she would know to back off, much as she didn't like the thought of it.

"So, do you have anyone waiting for you back home? Like a boyfriend or...?" Statistically speaking that was most likely. Blackwell may primarily be an art school, and thus one of the most liberal in the state, but there's no way _everybody_ there could be gay.

_Right_?

But the way Kate's face fell before she turned to look away made Victoria feel like an asshole for asking. She didn't want to bring up a sore subject or anything, since it was just a fact finding mission after all. Not wanting to push it any further, she settled for quietly petting Alice some more instead.

Soon enough, Kate turned back to look at her, rolling her eyes as she wiped at a tear trying to form in the corner of one, her cheeks pink. 

"Sorry, I'm just being ridiculous. There's... someone I've had feelings for for a long time, but... I guess you can say it's one sided. It's only ever been real for _me_."

Victoria reached over and gave Kate's knee a gentle squeeze. "Hey, that is _not_ ridiculous. Like, at all. But if this person doesn't like you back, it's their loss. A cute girl like you won't have any problem finding a special someone here, I promise."

Kate gave her a long, searching look, her face growing another shade redder. "You... You really think so?"

"Oh yeah. They'll be lined up down the hall. You'll probably need to hire a doorman."

That earned her a roll of those hazel eyes, but Kate smirked despite herself. "Yeah right. Does that mean you're volunteering for the job?"

Victoria coughed, and it was her turn to blush. "Mmm, I don't think you want me to be your doorman. I can be very... _selective_."

Kate looked away again before murmuring something like "can't possibly be more selective than _I've_ already been..."

From there the conversation moved on to more mundane things, nothing especially heavy or invasive. The fact that Kate plays violin. Class schedules, and which they were least and most looking forward to. Hometowns, and options for shopping (or lack thereof) around Arcadia Bay.

And soon enough they had to part ways for the day, as Kate still had a lot of unpacking to do and Victoria had a hang session with Nathan planned. But when she left the room Victoria felt _nice_. Kind of floaty. She certainly felt like there was a vibe. And while Kate having baggage of the unrequited love variety wasn't _ideal_ , she had said "someone". Not "a guy" or "he" so... Victoria could work with that.

*****

Victoria sighs wistfully, blowing tiny droplets of water back toward the wall beneath the showerhead. The "couple minutes" she'd allowed herself were long gone now, and if she stays much longer she's risking coming out all prune-y. However, standing there in a swirl of steam and warmth while thoughts of Kate played in her mind just felt so _nice_.

Maybe a little _too nice._ It was kind of hard not to notice the way her hands, which had started out cradled against her chest in an almost prayer-like pose in an effort to get as much of her body under the hot stream as she could, seemed like they wanted to migrate further south when particular thoughts crossed her mind.

She grins sheepishly. Those darn hands sure can be inappropriate at times, but it _did_ seem like a theory interesting enough to be worth testing, so...

Sure enough, recalling the gleam in those hazel eyes when she'd called Kate "cute" had those awfully disobedient hands travelling across the swell of her breasts. Her fingernails scrape gently over her taut stomach at images of red lips and musings on how they taste. Imagining helping the girl shimmy out of those "Mom jeans" had them making a detour to her hips, as though mimicking the motions. Victoria bites her lower lip at the thought of honey-blonde hair shaking loose from its bun, her fingertips caressing her thighs as they inexorably move inward...

The sound of the bathroom door opening has those hands instinctively shooting back up to protectively clutch at their opposing arms. _Shit_.

Not that it was unthinkable for Victoria to continue or anything, but that particular moment with those particular thoughts isn't something she wanted to experience with some random dorm-rat standing nearby. Not when the solitude of her room, where she can really take her time with it, is less than a couple dozen feet away. Also, unless Samuel has magically become a master plumber over the years, she's pretty sure the sinks being used would still likely send a blast of ice-cold water coursing out of her shower-head, which would be a mood-killer if there ever was one.

Heaving out a third and final sigh, she finally turns off the water and reaches past the inner curtain for her towel.

She stops mid-grab, however, when she hears the melodic humming of a decidedly familiar tune emanating from the direction of the sink on the opposite side of her shower curtain.

When the humming evolves into a sweet voice quietly singing out the words to a very particular song, she has half a mind to turn the shower back on.

Instead, she grins devilishly. 

"I used to think that the day would never come... I'd see the light in the shade of the morning sun... My morning sun _hmm-hmm-hmm hmm_ brings me near... To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear..."

...

So... here's the thing.

What Victoria does next is, admittedly, slightly more bold a move than she'd usually consider. Normally she'd go for something a bit more subtly seductive, like toying with the buttons on her blouse and offering to let her "draw me like one of your French girls..."

Or, given her current audience, something cutesy and innocent like a note under her door that reads: "Do you like me? Circle one: **_Yes_ **|| **_Oui_ **|| _**Si** _"

_However_... she _is_ still a bit "revved up" from those final, interrupted shower moments. Plus, the girl on the other side of that thin sheet of plastic _did_ have the audacity to make Victoria think filthy things in the middle of a public bathroom. So, at the end of the day, who is _really_ to blame here?

Then there's the fact that adding another facial expression to the collection of still frames taking residence in Victoria's mental DSLR is just _too_ delicious of an opportunity to pass up.

So while the girl at the sink merrily sings away, Victoria balls up her towel and stuffs it out of sight as best she can. She'll come back for it later, but for now maintaining the ruse is of paramount importance. Then with one hand on the shower curtain, she awaits the perfect moment, channeling all the confidence she can muster to keep nerves and shame at bay as she takes a quick peek from behind the curtain. There will be time for those later, too.

Right now, she is a Huntress. And Kate, clad in a white tee with a floral stencil on the chest and cute green PJs that do not do much to hide that shapely little butt of hers, is a tasty little morsel of a rabbit, unaware that she is destined to become Victoria's next meal.

"... _hmm hmm hmm_ a very small boy, very small boys talked to me..."

Victoria takes a deep breath and holds, pursing her lips and tilting her chin up to give her neck that perfect contour to match her body-line, her green eyes half-lidded and blazing with anticipation.

_The Huntress takes a deep breath and holds, drawing a bead on her prey as she pulls back the taut string of her bow._

"... but now that we've grown up together, they're afraid of what they see..."

"Are you...?" Victoria calls out, her voice a throaty half-purr. She waits half a beat and then...

_She takes the shot_.

Cocking her hip to the side, she yanks open the curtain with her right hand just in time to catch Kate in mid-turn toward the sound of her voice. Just in time for the girl to see her in _alllll_ her God-given glory.

"... afraid of what you see...?"

_The rabbit has only time enough to look up to see the doom that swiftly approaches her_.

Victoria has to fight to keep the sultry pout on her lips and the look of feigned indifference on her face as Kate freezes, eyes going so wide they appear to be trying to swallow her entire head. Her mouth hangs partially open, either from shock or from half-formed words left unsaid, and her cheeks color from pale to salmon to pink to crimson to bright, nearly _glowing_ scarlet in record time.

She can't help but break into an amused smirk as a look of realization passes over Kate's face that she is, indeed, standing there staring at Victoria, fully nude save for her rubber shower shoes and still dripping from the shower. Then the girl jumps -- literally jumps -- in an effort to turn away from the sight before her... and actually yelps when the motion ends with her staring at Victoria _through the mirror_ instead.

"Vic... VIC _TORIA_!!!" she cries out, making a final 45-ish degree turn to safely face the tiled walls in the far corner of the room.

"Oh I'm _so sorry_ , Marsh. I forgot my towel you see and, well, I guess I'm still getting used to not having this place all to myself. Good thing it's just us girls, _right_?" She lightly brushes the girl's back with still damp fingertips as she moves to pass by, and _ohoho did she **shiver** just now?!_

Victoria casually lopes toward the door, for all the world as though she has no particular place to be and is in no hurry to get there. She keeps an eye cast over her shoulder as she slowly creaks the door open, and her smirk shifts to a delighted grin at the sight of Kate taking the quickest of peeks at her retreating form. Victoria doesn't miss the dark glimmer in those hazel eyes just before she turns to face the wall again, her cheeks burning even redder than seemed humanly possible. Oh yeah, the image of that look is _definitely_ getting saved for later.

Victoria closes her eyes and bites her lip again as the door swings closed behind her, suppressing the urge to do a little victory dance.

_Staaaarting to get a feeling this year is gonna be fuuunnnn~~!_

Only then does she realize, having not thought this phase of the plan through as fully as she perhaps should have, that she's now standing naked in the middle of the short passage leading from the main hallway to the shower room. On the morning of the final day before classes start, with each minute that passes bringing the risk of even more kids and maybe even some parents strolling on in to check out their new digs. She can actually hear excited chatter coming from an open door somewhere to the left.

_Herself_ now blushing furiously, Victoria leans to take a quick glance up and down the main hall. Thanking God, Satan, Buddha, and anyone else who's listening that the way is clear, she makes a full on bolt for her room, hoping all the way that Kate can't hear the moist, slapping _SQUELCH_ her shower shoes leave behind with each hurried step.

*****

**Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013 - Girls' Dormitory: Room 221**

Victoria studiously inspects the reflection peering back at her from the standing mirror beside her door. She may have agonized over her appearance longer than normal this morning, but hey, it is the first day of classes after all. Her first day as a senior. Her first day as the reigning, undisputed Queen of Blackwell Academy Class of 2014. It's crucial to ensure a strong sense of brand awareness amongst her peers right from the start.

It's also the first day that... _any new students_ will be getting the full-on Victoria Chase experience. That thought inspires more nerves than she would ever admit aloud.

_Let's see now..._ Hair? Every strand perfectly straight, perfectly in place. Check. Make-up? Even Courtney would be proud. _Check_. Outfit? Favorite red top with resplendent gold collar, accessorized by the fantastically expensive gold watch on her left wrist and matching gold bracelet on her right, and of course her customary crystal necklace. The look completed by a tantalizingly short black skirt, complimentary leggings, and cute silvery shoes polished to a shine.

_Check, Check, Check annnnnnd CHECK_.

She opens her door just a crack, leaving her hand to rest gently on the knob while she takes deep, measured, calming breaths. All that's left to do now is wait, and listen.

After a couple of minutes, the shuffling she's been hearing through the thin wall separating hers from the next room starts making its way to the door.

Victoria tries not to think about the fact that this is the first time she'll have seen her neighbor since the encounter in the showers the day before. She _especially_ tries not to think about all the dirty things she did to herself after making it back to her room following said encounter.

The door next-door creaks open.

Victoria breezes through her own doorway, her lips pursed in a mask of casual disinterest as she pretends to keep her focus entirely on closing the door behind her. _Yep, just an average run-of-the-mill morning where we just happened to be leaving at exactly the same time. How are you?_

"Good morn..." starts a cheerily nervous voice to her left.

Victoria can't help but smile as she looks up. _So much for casual disinterest_.

"Morning..." she trails off herself when her eyes make their way over to the girl standing next to her.

_Oh..._?

Kate does not look anything like what she expected to see this morning. The tasteful bun is still in place, but the sweatshirt and jeans are gone. In their place are a flattering but old-fashioned grey skirt, a conservative white blouse, and a black cardigan.

But it's the girl's body language and expression that have Victoria truly taken aback. To say that _Kate_ looks taken aback would be a gross understatement. She appears to have shrank back into herself, with her shoulders hunched forward as she stares back at Victoria. One of her thin hands covers her mouth as though to hold back a startled cry, the other clutches at her chest, covering something that appears to hang from a gold-chained necklace. All of the color has drained from her face.

Kate's hazel eyes _certainly_ do not display the emotions Victoria was hoping for. No happiness, or attraction. No wistful lustiness or apprehensive flirtation. No, these are shocked eyes. Horrified eyes. Kate's looking at her like she's not even the same person anymore. Kate looks at her like she sees a _ghost_.

"... Marsh?" Victoria finishes lamely, desperately trying to think of something, anything else to say.

But before she can, Kate is reaching back out to open her door with the hand that had up-til then been clutching at her blouse. It's not until the door has slammed shut behind her that Victoria's mind catches up to what she saw glimmering in the morning sunlight as it fell back to her chest. A small, golden cross.

_Oh_.

Had... had she misread things that badly? Certainly she hadn't caught onto the fact that Kate was, apparently, a devout Christian. Devout enough to proudly display a cross on her chest on the first day of class, which is saying a lot when you're attending a liberal art school sure to be packed to the rafters with _all the gays_.

Not that Victoria could blame her for keeping that to herself the past few days. It's not like she had put all her cards on the table, either. Kate caught her off-guard, without her armor up, and Victoria had just... kept it that way, for as long as she could manage. She didn't get to see the Bitch Queen of Blackwell. Victoria's _true self_.

And now, Victoria can see that Kate has her own armor in place as well. She realizes that all the things she thought she saw in her -- flirty texts, longing glances, inviting smiles -- were just Victoria seeing what she wanted to see. Kate was being kind to her new neighbor and that's all it took for her hormones to take control. Fuck, she basically _sexually harassed_ the poor girl, after literally only knowing her for two whole days.

Because... that's what that look she got when she was leaving the showers _was_ , wasn't it? That dark gleam in Kate's eyes probably wasn't desire after all. It was more likely _disgust_.

...

_I mean... whatever right? Not like it would have worked out anyway. What, would our first date be, going to Sunday school so she can help me repent my sinful ways and find a good husband? Besides, it's not like she's **that** cute anyway._

Still, Victoria can't help but feel like you do when you think you've just won the grand-prize in a contest, only to find out that nope, they just called the wrong name by accident.

...

She doesn't realize that Taylor and Courtney had been calling out to her as they approached from the other end of the hallway until they are basically right there in front of her. Realizing she must have been staring off into space, she tries her best to put on that same practiced smile of disinterest. "Oh. _Bonjour_ Tay, Court. Took you long enough to get here."

"Whatever bitch." Courtney rolls her eyes, before they brighten appreciatively. "You know I gotta be on-point for the first day of class. Nice make-up by the way!"

Taylor gives her a customary surly grin before adding "....and hair this long doesn't just dry itself! We can't all roll out of bed looking perfect, after all." _Oh, WHATEVER Tay. You know flattery will get you everywhere._

She then glances at Kate's door and back to Victoria with a curious expression. "So... who was that?"

Victoria's green eyes linger on the numbers 220 as she shrugs in response. "I don't know, new girl or something? Bible-freak I guess, by the look of her."

"Oh." Taylor accepts, before her expression shifts to one of concern and she reaches out to touch Victoria's arm. "Hey... you ok, Vic? Are you... crying?"

"What?!" Victoria scoffs, "no I'm not..." but she reaches up to swipe at the side of her nose with one hand and, sure enough, it comes back wet.

_Seriously, what the fuck!?_

Both of her friends are staring at her now, Taylor with worry and Courtney with that unique mix of suspicion and existential dread she seems to experience whenever she sees Victoria display any form of human weakness.

But Victoria just rolls her eyes and smirks at them before wrapping an arm around each of their necks and pulling them tightly into a three-way side-hug. "Duh, it's been three months! What, was I not allowed to miss you bitches?"

The beams of surprised happiness she gets from the two girls in return for her admittedly far too rare public display of affection go a long way toward making Victoria's day a bit better as they stroll off toward the stairwell together.

"Oh, hey!" Taylor chirps along the way. "You know that other new girl on the floor, Matt or whatever? Would you believe I saw her out in the courtyard just now, hanging out with that creepy janitor and taking pictures of squirrels... _with a Polaroid_?"

" _Ugh_ , seriously? I think I hate her already."

*****

"... Marsh?"

Kate slams the door behind her, then collapses back into it with a thump, her arms splayed out on either side of the door-frame like she's trying to barricade it with her own body. Her heart is pounding its way up into her throat. Her mind is racing. She's hyperventilating.

She can't believe her own eyes. This can't be happening. She feels like she might vomit.

But then again, how are you _supposed_ to react when you find out the girl you've regularly dreamed about since you were thirteen years old, the one you've built up to angelic proportions in your own mind over the years, is not only a real person, but is standing right in front of you?

It's all real. _She_ is real. How could Kate not have seen it before today?!

There had been hints, certainly. The piercing eyes of emerald green. The short, golden hair. The way Kate's chest hurt when she thought about how beautiful Victoria is. 

She'd had false alarms in the past. Seeing a green-eyed face in a crowd, or on the television. Or that incident of mistaken identity back in middle school. Despite having dreamt of this mysterious girl nearly every night for months after her thirteenth birthday, and less regularly for years afterward, Kate never could quite remember the details of her face. And it made her so _sad_ that she couldn't, but... she had started to wonder if she was perhaps too divinely beautiful for her human mind to comprehend. That thought made the sadness easier to bear.

This time, however, there had been actual, God-given signs that Kate didn't recognize until now. The way the sun framed her from behind when she saw her that very first morning, the beams of light and motes of dust giving the illusion of ethereal wings sprouting from her back. The way her new neighbor seemed so familiar, like Kate had known her for years despite having only just met. Even the name of the song that she'd been playing was "True Faith", as though Kate were being rewarded for her own after all these years.

But seeing her this morning, Kate knew. Without a shadow of a doubt, she just _knew_. Victoria had once again been framed by that resplendent morning light, but this time everything fit into place. Not just the golden hair and the terrifying beauty and those captivating green eyes that Kate felt she could happily gaze into for days and days. This time, every follicle of hair, every article of clothing was perfectly placed to match what she'd seen in those dreams she had over and over and over again throughout the years. And sure enough, thinking of those dreams now Kate can see every detail of Victoria's face as clear as if she'd always known it.

It makes Kate wonder how many little signs Moses had missed before God finally set a bush on fire out of frustration. Kate would never be so prideful as to compare herself to an actual prophet of the Lord, but she feels as though her _mind_ has been set alight just the same.

Tears stream down her face. She still has yet to regain control of her lungs. She fears that her heart could burst at any moment.

She's wanted this for _so_ long. Something, anything to confirm what she's always known. That she's _not_ crazy. That the things she sees at night are _not_ just conjurations of her own sinful mind. 

Her life has been so, _so_ lonely for so, _so_ long. She learned very quickly that her dreams were not something she could share with her family. It scared them too much. Nor could she tell any of her friends, because they wouldn't understand. How could they understand such a thing? How could anyone _ever_ understand that Kate was in love with a girl that seemingly only ever existed in her head?

But now she _is_ real, and she's so close that Kate can reach out and touch her. So close that Kate had been reached out and touched _by_ her. And the knowledge of this is just too much for her. It's overwhelming. She'd never thought about what she would actually _do_ if what she dreamed about, what she prayed for, ever came true. And now it is right there in her face and she doesn't know how to cope with the enormity of it.

It will be several days yet before Kate will have the courage to face this beautiful, terrible, nigh-mythical creature without feeling the urge to flee back to the safety of her room. For every time she sees her she feels unprepared, unclean, unworthy of being in her presence. The fear and insecurity will make her contemplate just giving up and going home, back to her normal life where she was a probably-crazy girl who imagined someone who loved her just to not feel so sad and lonely all the time.

However... she _won't_ leave. She _can't_.

Because of how she will sometimes feel a burning sensation in the back of her mind, like a magnifying lens focusing light directly onto her brain.

And every single time that happens, her gaze will be pulled as if by an invisible hand, turning in just the right direction to see those lovely emerald eyes staring back at her.

And in those hungry eyes she will see things that she recognizes instantly because she feels them so deeply within herself. Yearning. Desperation. Pain, buried by years of avoidance, that constantly threatens to unearth itself. And above all a silent plea for someone, anyone to _see her_. To understand her. To protect her. To _forgive_ her.

And so, Kate will stay. Even when her initial days of avoiding Victoria drives a wedge between them, one that Kate is too awkward and unpracticed in social niceties to easily overcome.

She will stay even when over the following weeks she is forced to watch Victoria fall in love with someone else, despite the hurt and shameful envy it makes Kate feel. Despite wanting to die every time she hears her call out another's name with passion and love.

She will stay even when the ember of desire Victoria lit within her that day in the showers, fueled by years of hormone-addled feelings and emotions that she never knew what to do with, is fanned into a raging inferno when Victoria claims Kate's virtue as her own. All the while looking at her with emerald eyes filled with challenge, with need, with pure, craven _lust_. Because despite all the sermons she has heard about how she must wait until she is married to a loving husband, in her heart Kate knows that if her body and soul are to be given to anyone, it is _her_.

She will stay even when Victoria hurts her, desperately so, in a moment of fear and vulnerability when all she needs more than anything in the world is for Victoria to just _believe_ her. Because despite all the prayers and pastors and youth counselors, when Kate Marsh is hurt so very badly by someone she loves so very much, she will only have one way to respond. And that will be to love her even _harder_. To give of herself _even more_ until there is nothing left.

She will stay even though it means she is destined to die.

Because that's what this is, isn't it? God did not simply grant her visions of the woman she was meant to be with, as much as she wishes with all her heart for that to be so. For each of those visions ended the same way... with Kate's death.

Kate doesn't _want_ to die, not really. Not so soon after finally finding the only thing she's ever truly wished for.

But... now she knows for certain that she is experiencing something divine. She is witness to a prophecy come to life. An actual, God-granted _miracle_. And if such a thing is not worth dying for, then what is?

So, she will do whatever she must to stay close to Victoria. And she will be whatever Victoria needs her to be... whether that is a friend, a lover, a protector, or simply an admirer from afar. And when the time comes that God calls upon Kate to die for her, she will do her utmost to face that death with grace, love, and joy in her heart.

Back in her room on that first day of class, Kate falls to her knees and prays. She prays for her family, her mother and father and two little sisters. She prays for her friends, both those back home and those she will make at Blackwell. She prays for her darling rabbit Alice. She prays for herself, and for her immortal soul.

But mostly she prays for _her_. For Victoria Chase. The quite literal girl of Kate's dreams.

For _her angel_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally meant to be part of a much larger chapter following on from the events of Victoria's break-up with Max, but it started to feel like it wasn't quite fitting thematically or length-wise. 
> 
> At the same time, I didn't really want to discard any of it either. I wanted to share the context of Victoria and Kate's early relationship, and give a peek into just how intense Katie's feelings truly are.
> 
> Also I really wanted to write a bit of fluff after the last chapter was so heavy, so... here we are. :P
> 
> Next chapter will actually move the plot forward, I promise!
> 
> *****
> 
> Chapter title reference: [_Down Side of Me_](https://youtu.be/faRvIbs1_bA) by CHVRCHES


	6. The Thing That Won't Get Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria wrestles with the aftermath of her break-up with Max. Kate makes an impassioned plea.

**Thursday, October 10 th, 2013 - Girls' Dormitory: Shower Room **

_"We see how things turn out for the ones you **truly** love."_

The last few minutes of Victoria’s time with Max play over and over in her mind. The tearful confession. Her own unfair, hateful words. The rage and betrayal in those ice-blue eyes.

The _(well-deserved)_ slap that followed.

The blow had come so hard she was honestly surprised she couldn’t feel any loosened teeth on that side. Her left cheek still burned from the impact of it. She knew that if she touched it she would feel the sore, ugly bruise that had been welling up in the aftermath. Victoria can’t bring herself to care.

The water hissing from the shower nozzle overhead is hot. Far too hot. Nearly scalding. The skin on the parts of her body taking the brunt of it (her arms, legs, and back mostly), have grown bright red from the heat. She can’t bring herself to care about that either.

Victoria doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting here, with her bare ass planted on the porcelain floor of the shower stall. Maybe an hour? Maybe a little longer. It doesn’t matter. The Victoria Chase of a couple hours ago, the one who did her utmost to ensure that her skin _never_ touched the bacteria-riddled surfaces of the public bathrooms, would be aghast at the very thought of it. But the present Victoria can’t… well, no need to sound like a broken record. It’s not like the germs could make her feel any more disgusting than she already does, regardless.

She’d cried her eyes out upon making her way to the showers after initially fleeing Max’s room. With her arms wrapped around her legs and her face buried in her knees, she’d cried and cried and the tears just wouldn’t stop coming. It felt like she’d been stabbed in the heart, but instead of blood pouring from the wound it was an unending stream of pain. An endless well of grief that refilled as fast it emptied.

Eventually, when she couldn’t take it anymore, she reached up to adjust the water temperature, turning the nozzle higher and higher until the burning sensation on her skin began to make her feel numb inside. The external pain distracting her from the inner.

And so she sat for a long while, just doing her best to not feel anything even while images of Max replayed endlessly in her mind. And it worked… right up until someone came in and turned on the sink, that is.

The freezing blast of water that resulted had shocked her out of her numbed state, and instantly she felt the hurt welling up from deep within her gut, moving through her chest and crawling up her throat all over again. It was all she could do to hold it back until she had the room to herself once more, but when she finally heard the sound of the door closing behind whoever it was, a loud, strangled sob finally escaped her lips. It was followed by more of the same in rapid succession, her shoulders quaking from the force of them until finally the near-scalding heat returned enough to quiet her at last.

That cycle repeated at least twice more while she huddled in her state of miserable desolation, plagued by feelings of guilt and grief and anger. But mostly she was plagued by a thought that made a singular through-line connecting the jumbled mass of images and emotions in her mind.

Max doesn’t love her. She’d _never_ loved her.

_Of course Max doesn’t love you._

_How could she **ever** love someone like you?_

_You're a mediocre photographer with a pretty face and an ugly soul._

_She probably got sick of having to kiss your ass all the time just to boost your fragile little ego._

_Like Tay and Court. Bet **they'd** dump you too if they had to stomach fucking you on top of all their other "minion" duties._

The voice in Victoria’s mind is her own, naturally. It’s the voice of Victoria Chase at her most vicious, her most pointlessly cruel. The voice she only uses on others when she feels it necessary to wound them to their very core, when the only emotion she can feel for them in that moment, no matter how unfair or short-lived it may be, is pure, blinding _hate_.

The voice she’d just used on _Max_.

What most people on the receiving end of that hateful, vile side of Victoria don’t realize is that the most frequent target of it is one person: _herself_.

She’s never hated anyone more than herself, after all.

After years of intensive sessions, Victoria’s therapist had started throwing around the term Histrionic Personality Disorder, which, of course, sounded kind of dramatic to her the first time she heard it. However, the lady has like five more PHDs than Victoria does, and anyone she knows would probably think “Victoria” and “kind of dramatic” was understating the situation, if anything. Plus, the list of characteristics she found on the disorder’s Wikipedia entry read like it could have been the blurb on the dust jacket for Victoria Chase’s future best-selling auto-biography, so really it’s a diagnosis that she finds difficult to argue against.

Right now, she figures she’s pinging items #2 and #3 on her personal HPD checklist pretty hard. Those being ‘underdeveloped ability to cope with losses or failures’ and ‘experiencing symptoms of clinical depression when romantic or close personal relations end’, respectively.

_**Oh shit** , don’t forget about #14: _

_‘Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are’._

_Maybe should've ran that one by Max a while back, huh?_

_Could've saved everyone some time._

Yeah, Victoria's inner voice can be a real heinous bitch sometimes.

Now, nothing on the HPD wiki page said anything about having a voice in your head telling you how worthless and disgusting you are all the time, but Victoria just figures the clinical term for that is ‘her conscience’. Her very own Jiminy _Vick-_ et just tellin’ it like it is.

_Anyway, you DO remember what Chloe Price was like, don’t you?_

Chloe Price was crude. Brash. Uncouth. And, as mentioned, a giant pain in Victoria’s ass back when they were in school together. Mostly because Chloe simply could not help but call others out on their bullshit, and Victoria is exceptionally bad at handling criticism ( _#8 on the checklist, by the way_ ) from those she considers ‘beneath her’. Or from anyone, really.

But Chloe was also smart, and funny, and genuinely likable without needing to be fake. She also had the biggest heart of anyone Victoria knew. She was the kind of person that would go to any lengths to back-up a friend, even if those friends didn’t appreciate it nearly as much as they should have. She would literally give a stranger the shirt off her back, and crack a joke about how she’d “been meaning to give nudism a try” in the process.

**_Oui._** _That’s the kind of person Max fell in love with._

_The kind of person that puts others’ happiness before their own._

_Do you think Chloe would have it in her to be so cruel to someone who just lost their best **fucking** friend in the whole world, just because her little feelings got hurt in the process? _

…

_**No** , she wouldn’t._

_Because, unlike you, Chloe Price was someone who was actually **worthy** of being loved._

_She **deserved** to be loved. _

Victoria finds she doesn’t have it in her to argue with that logic. She just wishes it doesn’t have to hurt so fucking much.

_Of course it doesn’t **have to** , Vic._

_You know better than anyone that there’s always a way out._

_An “emergency exit”, if you will._

Victoria tries not to think about the bottom drawer of her dresser, or what she has tucked out of sight in its back-left corner. Mostly because of how much it scares her that she can’t really argue with _that_ logic, either.

*****

One last crying jag out of the way, Victoria heaves a shuddering sigh as she reaches up and back to turn the water off at last. The shower room has gotten busier over the last little while, so between issues with temperature from sink usage and water pressure from others showering, she really doesn’t feel like she’s getting anything else out of this. The End of the World party is tonight, after all, so if anything, it will only get worse. Better to make her escape now while there’s a lull.

Besides, she probably couldn’t stay in the shower all night anyway… eventually some nosy asshole would probably bust inside to make sure she hadn’t slit her wrists or something similarly gauche, and that was NOT a conversation she wanted to be having with anyone right now.

She probably should be finding something to eat, since at this point she hasn’t had anything but bottled water in, what, twenty-four hours or so?

She’d settle for a cigarette though. Or twelve.

What Victoria _really_ needs, she supposes, is some sleep. She was already exhausted _before_ finding out her girlfriend was both a.) _not_ her girlfriend anymore and b.) a suspected killer. She seriously doubts she could sleep right now if she tried, though. As tired as she is, her skin is crawling and her nerves are jangling as though she has her finger stuck in an electric outlet. She’d probably need help of the pharmaceutical variety to manage it, which was certainly doable, but…

But if she was going that route, why not just say screw it and get _fucked up_ instead, right? She told Nathan she was gonna skip the party tonight since she needed to stay in and help Max with _her_ drama, but _that_ sounds like a whooooole lot of _not Victoria’s fucking problem_ right now. And if numbness is what she's chasing, copious amounts of Vodka sounds like a pretty expedient way to get there.

_Heh, "End of the World". Feels pretty fucking apropos, doesn't it?_

Another plus is that Taylor and Courtney will surely be going and they always manage to find some way to cheer her up with their antics, even if only by a little. She’ll take what she can get at this point.

She doesn’t realize that she still hasn’t moved from her perch in the middle of the nasty ass shower floor until she hears a quiet, timid knocking behind her through the wall separating her shower from the next. Despite the obvious care taken not to startle her, Victoria still _only just_ manages not to piss herself.

_Fuck!_

_…_

_Whoever you are just… just go away. Please?_

Victoria is starting to think that maybe one thing is finally going her way on this total goddamn disaster of a day, when her hopes are dashed by a voice calling out from the other side of the wall.

“Um… is… is everything alright?”

_Oh, you have GOT to be shitting me!_

The disembodied voice carries that mixture of quiet timidity and sweet sincerity that is instantly, unmistakably identifiable as belonging to one Kate Beverly Marsh.

Victoria groans inwardly, leaning back to let her head thump on the porcelain behind her. Remember what she was saying about how the frankly enormous distance between her and “ok” was something she did NOT want to talk about with _anyone_ right now? Well “Creepy Kate” Marsh was pretty fucking close to the front of that list. Probably top fucking five.

“… how did you know it was me?” she finally sighs, too exhausted to fight at the moment.

“I didn’t. Not… not really. I just heard someone crying, and… and I thought, whoever it was, that maybe they could use a friend right now.”

Victoria scoffs, and she’s pretty sure Kate can hear her green eyes rolling right through the barrier.

“Oh, so _that’s_ what you are right now? My _friend_?”

The voice that seems to be floating just behind and a few feet above Victoria’s head is so quiet now that she almost has to strain to hear it.

“I… can’t tell you how much I’d like for that to be true.”

Victoria desperately wants to tell her to Fuck off. Go away. Leave me alone. But the quavering sincerity of those words makes her eyes threaten to tear up again.

“I’m sorry… I’ll leave you alone, if you want.”

Victoria doesn’t trust her own voice not to break, so she doesn’t say anything at all.

After a short silence, she can hear the shuffling sound of clothing against porcelain, followed by the gentle squeak of someone lowering themselves to the floor behind her. The only thing separating the back of her head from Kate’s is about a foot of porcelain and sheetrock.

They sit in silence for over a minute. Kate, to her credit, seems unwilling to break it before Victoria does.

“… she’s _gone_.” Her voice _is_ breaking now.

“Who is…?” The confusion is evident in Kate’s voice.

Victoria fights to keep the muscles of her jaw and throat under control. She will NOT cry again goddammit.

“… Max.”

“Max… left school?”

“What? No… well, maybe? _I don’t fucking know okay_!” The exasperation makes it easier for Victoria to keep her other emotions at bay, at least.

“What I mean is… we’re not together anymore.”

This seems to give Kate pause. “Victoria, I… _I’m so sorry_ to hear that.”

Another scoff. “Oh, _whatever_. It’s obvious you hate her.”

“I don’t _hate_ her… maybe I don’t like her very much, but… I could tell how _happy_ she made you.” Kate’s voice breaks a little at that. She seems to take a moment to compose herself before she continues. “I would never want to take that away from you.”

Victoria rubs her eyes with the heels of her hands. “… it doesn’t matter anyway. It wasn’t _real_. Not like I wanted it to be.”

Kate chews on that for a bit, before responding. “… were you in... l- _love_ with her?”

“… _Yes_.”

“And… and did you _feel_ happy when you were together?”

Victoria _definitely_ can’t answer that without sobbing again, so she just nods wordlessly as though Kate can actually see her.

It doesn’t seem to matter. “Then… it _was_ real. It was real _for you_. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

_“… I guess you can say it’s one sided. It’s only ever been real for **me**.” _

For a moment Victoria feels like she’s back in Kate’s room talking about crushes from back home in those quiet days before classes started. Back when everything seemed so _bright_ and full of possibilities. Before everything got so fucked up.

But now her breath is hitching in her throat and the tears are falling again, and she refuses, _just fucking refuses_ to cry anymore, so she slams her fist down hard into the porcelain wall. The sound of it makes Kate jump on the other side. The tears are still coming, so she slams the wall again even harder this time. The sharp jolt of pain travelling from her hand up to her elbow does seem to help a little. Being pissed off helps more.

“Why?! Why do you even fucking _care_ , Kate? I’m nothing but a total fucking bitch to you, _all the time_!”

“You… you’re not!” Kate says, uncharacteristically defiant. Then she sheepishly mumbles something like “… not _all_ the time…”

There’s another pause, and then the girl on the other side of the porcelain finally adds “besides, I… don’t really care anymore what happens to me.”

This causes a barking, incredulous laugh to erupt from Victoria’s throat.

“Well _that’s_ not depressing at all. _Jesus Christ_ , thanks for the fucking pep-talk Dr. Phil!” At least the tears have stopped now.

Kate seems to giggle a bit despite herself. “Yeah… I guess that wasn’t my best, was it?” Victoria can hear the shy smile in her voice.

Victoria bites her lip as she wipes the remaining moisture from her nose and cheeks. “It… wasn’t the worst.”

She groans as she begins to stand, feeling the stiffness in her limbs from having sat in roughly the same position for more than an hour. Having mostly dripped dry at this point, she skips the towel and tosses on her silk bathrobe. As she pulls open the shower curtain and steps out, she speaks again to the neighboring one.

“I’ve got to go get ready but… thanks Katie.”

She makes a move for the door but doesn’t make it two full steps before Kate is on her feet and bolting through her own shower-curtain, pulling Victoria to a stop by grabbing one hand in both of hers.

“Victoria, wait I…”

Victoria opens her mouth to ask Kate what the hell she thinks she’s doing, but the unadulterated, earnest _pleading_ in the girl’s big hazel eyes gives her pause.

“I… I… I know you don’t believe me about… what happened before” she stammers. “But please, _please_ don’t go to that party tonight. Something bad is going to happen if you do… I can’t explain how but, I just _know_ it. _I can feel it._ ”

The intensity of her stare as the girl begs is… honestly a bit _frightening_. She sounds absolutely batshit, obviously, but Victoria absolutely believes that _Kate_ believes what she’s saying. She’s gripping Victoria’s hand so tightly her knuckles are white.

“Kate… let go of me.”

But the girl is in a panic now. “ _Please_ , Victoria! I swear, I… won’t bother you anymore. I’ll even tell Principal Wells about the picture, if you want me to! Just please don’t go. I’ll…" her eyes seem to momentarily darken.

_"..._ I’ll do _anything_.” Those last words come out in a low, husky rasp.

Victoria can feel something primal and hungry awaken deep inside of her at the look of Kate's eyes and the sound of her voice just then. The beast stretches, and gives a rumbling purr that seems to vibrate from the very core of her being.

Her eyes narrow, and she can tell from the tiny gasp that escapes those red lips that Kate can see the sudden _want_ in her.

And she _does_ want her. She wants nothing more than to push Kate back into that dirty shower stall and just tear into her. To take all the pain and grief and self-hatred and channel it into Kate. To use her up until there’s nothing left.

_Oooh, I'll take #10: 'Inappropriately seductive behavior' for $500, Alex!_

_Damn, girl. Your relationship with Max isn't even cold in the ground yet. Sure must have been 'true love', huh?_

And Kate would _let_ her. She can see it in the way her breath is quickening, the way those hazel eyes are glazing over with anticipation. Kate would let her do anything and everything she wanted, no matter how much it cost her. No matter how much it _hurt_ her.

_Of course she would. You know how isolated she's been lately. You've made sure of that, haven't you?_

_Remember Stella? The shit that went down with Nathan?_

_When was the last time you saw her hanging out with Alyssa?_

_She clearly has nothing to focus on but you._

_But you **love** being the center of attention, don't you? Even if the only person you can get it from is mentally fucking ill._

_Shut the fuck up._ Victoria growls inwardly, her gaze drinking in every detail, every tiny little twitch of Kate's face.

_Those dark bags under her eyes? All you._

_Guess you're not the only one who isn't sleeping._

_Haven't heard her playing violin either. Why might that be?_

Kate bites her lip in that way that makes Victoria want to bite it for her. Her pale cheeks flush crimson, just like...

_The last time you were alone in the shower room together, **Oui**._

_You know Exhibitionist behavior is #6, right?_

Victoria's jaw trembles as she wrestles with her rebellious thoughts. At the same time, she is transfixed by those searching hazel eyes. Nothing exists but the shape of Kate's mouth as it contorts to form a single word.

" _Victoria_..."

It's barely loud enough to be considered a whisper. It is somewhere between a sigh and a _prayer_.

_Know what? **Go for it**. Whatever, right?_

_It's not like you destroy every goddamn thing you touch or anything._

_So, go ahead. Fuck her until she feels just as broken and worthless as you are._

_See if you can fuck her life up even more than you **already have**._

Victoria wrenches her hand away from Kate's grasp as she spins around to face the door, squeezing her stinging eyes closed. She can't look at her. She can't take seeing hurt or fear or desire on that pretty face of hers one second longer.

Because she's right. She has nothing to offer Kate, or Max, or anyone. Nothing but bringing them down to her level. And she can't think of anyone else who deserves that.

She just needs to slam the door shut and be done with it.

"Look, I needed to vent, and you were here, so... thanks. But we're _not_ friends. Or _anything else_. So... fuck off. Go away. And please just _leave me alone_."

Victoria is thankful for the silence that follows. She honestly doesn't think her resolve could take Kate calling out to her just then, or worse, reaching for her. When she doesn't, Victoria takes a shaking step toward the door.

_"You're going to be sorry someday."_

Victoria freezes in place as a chill runs down her spine. A chill that is soon replaced by white, hot anger. That sounded an awful lot like a _threat_.

_Ok so I guess there's about to be **two** Vortex Club members accused of murder on the same day_. _That's got to be a record or something._

Victoria rounds on Kate again, her fists clenched.

"The fuck did you just say?!" she growls menacingly. She'd like to see Kate try to run this time, being that she's between the smaller girl and the door.

But Kate doesn't step back or cower or try to flee. She simply stands her ground before her would-be assailant, her jaw clenched and her eyes determined. Resolute, like someone on a mission they aim to see through to the very end.

"I didn't say _anything_ , Victoria."

Her voice takes on a bit of a drawl when she stands up for herself. It honestly kind of suits her.

Victoria doesn't see any sign of a lie in those hazel eyes, but... that _was_ Kate's voice just now.

_Wasn't it_?

She doesn't know why those particular words in that particular order makes the bile rise in her throat, or her blood run cold. All she can conclude at this moment is that Kate's not the only one who seems to be losing her fucking mind.

"Whatever" Victoria finally spits, turning on her heel once more before storming through the door and back to her room. She can once again feel Kate's eyes on her the entire way there.

*****

**Girls' Dormitory: Room 221**

Once safely inside, she makes a beeline for the phone she'd carelessly tossed on the bed earlier.

Fuck Max. Fuck Kate. Fuck everything. Victoria is on a mission of her own now, and phase one begins with drinking until she needs to get her stomach pumped.

She ignores the ever-growing slew of notifications as she taps out a group text to Taylor and Courtney.

\-----

Coming 2 party 2night

Need ur skillz big time

Be @ my room in 20 - **10/10 6:45 PM**

**Court** \- HELLS YES GIRLFRIEND!!!! >:D - **10/10 6:45 PM**

**Sweet T** \- Awesome!! CYU then! <3<3<3

Max??? - **10/10 6:46 PM**

DONT EVEN

Talk later. Just b here. - **10/10 6:46 PM**

**Court** \- WHATEVS JUST PSYCHED PARTY WONT BE LAME NOW

GRABBIN MY SHIT GONNA HOOK YOU TF UP GRRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - **10/10 6:46 PM**

\-----

She tosses her phone back on the bed before attacking the closet with gusto, the challenge of choosing an outfit, which would be an all-day affair for her in anything resembling a sane world, helping to keep her mind occupied. About ten minutes into the process she thinks she's settled on a light pink top with black collar and trimmings, black skirt and stilettos, when she hears a knock at the door.

_The hell_? It's definitely not Taylor and Courtney because they know not to show up early. Or late for that matter. If anyone has learned through hard experience to arrive _exactly_ when Victoria expects them, it's those two.

She warily cracks the door, and peeks her head out a bit when she doesn't immediately see anyone. No one down is hanging out in the halls either, though she does think she saw Dana's door closing just as she opened hers. It's hard to believe anyone on this floor would have enough of a death wish to prank her by knocking and running on _today of all days_ , but...

A pleasant aroma draws her eyes to the floor in front of her door. Or, more importantly, the food tray lying there bearing a plate full of cookies, next to a mug filled with a steaming brown liquid. The scent of hot tea caresses her nostrils, which flare on their own accord to better take it in.

_No. Nuh-uh. Noooope. No way._

It's obvious who the mystery cookies are from, given that they are cut into the shapes of cute little frolicking bunny rabbits. But she is _way_ too pissed off to even think about eating right now, especially considering the fact that she JUST ' _slammed the door shut to be done_ ' with the idea of them being friends, there's _no way_ she's going to take these. Anonymously or not. She wouldn't dream of giving Kate the satisfaction.

Regardless of how ravenous she just remembered she is.

...

Victoria crosses her arms and purses her lips in annoyance. She should toss the whole damn tray in the trash. Or dump the contents on Kate's doorstep, tea and all.

...

They do smell _really_ good though. Her gurgling stomach seems to agree.

_However_ , Victoria Maribeth Chase has an iron will, and when she sets her mind to something, _she does it_.

Period.

...

She eats every single one of the tasty little fuckers.

*****

"... God, what a _bitch_." Courtney mutters while dabbing at Victoria's bruised cheek with concealer. She stands up straight to inspect her work, sticking her tongue out the side of her mouth in that way she does when she's concentrating especially hard on something, before diving back in for a few more swabs.

"What, was she auditioning for the Ultimate Fighting Championship or something?"

Victoria sighs through her nose while keeping her lips pursed, waiting for the girl to retract her hand before responding.

"I... don't really blame her."

" _Really_ , Vic? Then who the fuck _is_ to blame for this?" Courtney waves an annoyed hand at Victoria's face. "Mike Tyson? The troubled times we live in? _Violent video games_?"

**_Me._ **

She shrugs. "Nobody I guess. We both said some shitty things." Understatement of the year on her part of it, but she's trying to keep the discussion as neutral as possible. She knows they're too loyal to let her take the blame on herself.

And, much as she'd love to turn this into a 'gripe about my Ex' session with the girls, her conscience has been on an absolute _tear_ this evening and she knows blaming Max would only make things worse.

Nothing more needs to be said aloud, however. They know _exactly_ how Vic can be when she's stressed.

Taylor takes a break from flat ironing Victoria's hair to gently squeeze her shoulder, her doe-eyes filled with concern and compassion. Victoria looks away quickly. It's too fucking difficult to look at blue eyes right now.

She hasn't told them much about what went down today. Mostly high-level stuff. Max got herself into legal trouble. They had a fight after getting back to the dorms. They're broken up, almost certainly for good.

After taking a moment to compose herself she reaches up to brush the back of the other blonde's hand with her fingertips. Taylor has been unusually quiet, and she understands why.

"I know this must be awkward for you, Tay. Especially after the way she helped you with your Mom."

But Taylor shakes her head, grabbing Victoria by the chin so she can tilt her head up enough to look her in the eye again. "Hey, _no way_ Vic. Max may have been there for me at the hospital that day, but _you're my_ **_girl_**. It'll take a lot more than some crocodile tears and a ride in a shitty hatchback to change that."

She's not sure if it's the blue eyes or the sincerity in Taylor's drawl, but some tears do start flowing then. Victoria nods silently, compressing her lips in a thin line to keep them from quivering.

Courtney clicks her tongue disapprovingly and shakes her head. Tears, obviously, only serve to make the _master artiste's_ job more difficult.

"Well _whatever_. She better not show her face around the Vortex Club after this. I never liked her anyway."

Every girl needs two kinds of friends when they're going through a break-up. Victoria is lucky enough to have both. Taylor is the friend whose shoulder you cry into. Courtney is the one who will _cut a bitch_ if the situation calls for it.

Taylor scoffs at her brunette friend and gives her a playful shove on the shoulder. "Oh yeah _right_ , you lyin' skank! I seem to remember all it taking was her asking for fashion advice to turn you around. And I quote..." she puts her hand on her stomach like she's about to sing the star-spangled banner, before belting out:

"HEY GIRLFRIEND. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WANT TO COME BY MY ROOM AND I'LL GIVE YOU A FASHION MAKEO-" Taylor is cut off when one of Victoria's red pillows hits her full in the face, causing her to descend into a fit of giggles as she hurls it back at Courtney.

"HEY! That pillow costs more than both your outfits combined!" Victoria grumbles, her eyebrows narrowed in irritation. Taylor makes a pouty face at her while Courtney just rolls her eyes.

"Look... all I'm saying is, I just can't believe how _ungrateful_ that little selfie-ho is, breaking up with you like that after what you did. I mean, I'm _straight_ , but after you rode in on your white horse and busted me out of prison? I'd eat you out every night for a damn _year_."

Taylor looks away quickly, though not before Victoria can see a spot of color forming on her cheeks. Obviously that hit a bit too close to home. They'd both agreed to keep the little fling they'd shared the summer before Junior year from Courtney, since it could fuck up their group dynamic and neither one of them were interested in pursuing it further.

Victoria sighs again. "It... wasn't like that, Court. I'd have done it for you or Tay too, and you know I wouldn't have asked for anything in return."

"Yeah and I also know you wouldn't _have_ to ask for me to give your Lezzy-ass a fingerbanging of a lifetime after literally saving mine!" Courtney returns with a saucy little smirk, before adding "Or _whatever_ you're into, IDK. Scissoring? Strap-ons?"

Victoria just gives the brunette an exasperated look, but it doesn't seem to slow her down.

"Actually now that I mention it that last one does sound kind of fun, you... got any of those lying around?"

" _Court_!" Victoria groans, giving an exaggerated eyeroll of her own for added effect. It's obvious by now that the girl is trying to get a laugh out of her, but she's determined not to give her the satisfaction for a joke _that_ juvenile.

" _Ooooh_ I know!" Taylor chimes in. "We can go check with Jules and see if Zach ever managed to talk her into giving pegging a try!"

Victoria closes her eyes and rubs her temples. " _God_ not you too, Tay."

The pair continue to banter back and forth for a while, until Courtney finally gives her cosmetics work one last look-over before nodding approvingly. "I think we're _doooone_!" she croons, before turning the mirror for Victoria to see. After giving the work her own exacting appraisal, the short-haired blonde finally gives a short nod.

"You're a miracle worker, C."

"Don't I know it!" she beams with pride, absently rubbing at a smudge that had made its way to Victoria's neck. Then Courtney's eyes narrow suspiciously.

"Seriously though... I just can't believe the _gaul_ -field on that girl."

Victoria's jaw drops open. "I know you did _NOT_ just pun at me!"

Her green eyes bug out as she fights to control the muscles in her throat as a laugh attempts to bubble its way up.

_NO. There is no **way** am I gonna break over a shitty fucking pun!_

But Taylor gives Victoria a side-eyed grin before swooping in for the _coup-de-grace_. "Oh. My. Gawd. _Really_ , Court? That was just _Caul_ -ful."

Look, it wasn't even _that_ funny, ok? It was more the ridiculousness of the situation that got her in the end.

And it wasn't _really_ a laugh that managed to escape Victoria after that. More of an... amused rush of air. But that turned into a snort, which became a snicker. And before the blonde knows it she finds herself doubled over on her stool, peals of laughter ringing from her mouth as she pulls the offending punsters into tight side-hugs.

The girls' resulting squeals reside somewhere between horrified and delighted as Victoria rubs tears and fresh make-up onto their faces and hair with her cheeks. This will make them quite a bit later than they originally planned, but none of them care. Parties wait for _Victoria Maribeth Chase_ , not the other way around.

Victoria reaches around her friends' heads to wipe at her eyes, before giving them each a big, wet smack on the cheek for good measure. Fuck whatever _Bitch-toria_ has to say from her little hiding spot in the back of her mind. These are her _friends_. She would do anything for them and she knows they would do the same.

She resolves right then to never call them _"minions"_ again.

"I _love_ you guys."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A transitional chapter this time. Again this was meant to be part of a larger chapter leading into the End of the World party, but I realized I was topping 5000 words without even having left the dorms, and this seemed like a good stopping point, so here we are!
> 
> *****
> 
> Chapter title reference: [_No One is to Blame_](https://youtu.be/V-A6WH1kQLc) by Howard Jones


	7. Follow You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of the world as Vic knows it, and she feels... fine?

**Thursday, October 10 th, 2013 - Blackwell Academy: Courtyard**

“Christ, I would _literally kill someone_ for a cigarette right now.”

The cool night air that caresses Victoria’s skin feels invigorating as she walks arm-in-arm with her friends on their way from the dorms to the Blackwell Academy gymnasium, where the End of the World Party is being held. And she has to admit that her arm-candy for the evening are looking _fiiiiiiiiine_ , almost a matching pair with Courtney in her black and white striped shirt and black skinny jeans, while Taylor is rocking white denim short shorts and a low-cut black blouse layered with a silky black overshirt left to hang open in the front. They are the _baddest_ bitches in Blackwell. This party is _not_ gonna know what hit it.

Victoria does her best to push thoughts of Max and Chloe and death and break-ups to the side. She’s had enough fucking guilt and hurt and anger bouncing in her head for one evening, and would love to just be able to forget about everything for a few hours. She knows tomorrow isn’t going to feel much better, but that’s future Vic’s problem. All present Vic wants is to give the world a great big middle finger, get trashed, and maybe even dance with a hottie or two if she’s feeling up to it.

Thankfully she’s distracted from her more negative emotions by Courtney, who releases her arm to start digging through her purse, making excited little humming noises as she does. For the moment Taylor seems to be engrossed in her phone as they walk, tapping out rapid-fire messages with one hand while the other gently squeezes Victoria’s arm. If she had to guess, the sweet girl was most likely alerting the other Vortex Club attendees about Victoria’s impending arrival, and doing her best to manage the social environment to maximize her comfort.

After a few moments Courtney laughs triumphantly, before holding out her hand to Victoria. Inside is a fresh pack of cigarettes, unopened. They’re even her _brand_.

The green-eyed queen blinks at her, confusion surely evident on her face. “Court… you don’t even _smoke_.”

Courtney just shrugs and gives her an obsequious smirk, her blue eyes shining with delight as she bounces the pack in her outstretched palm.

While Taylor very often takes on the role of Victoria’s emotional anchor, Courtney has always excelled at anticipating objective-based needs. Digging up dirt on someone who has pissed her off. Writing term papers for her. Or, in this case, making sure to carry around cigarettes for no other reason than to have them when Victoria desperately needs one.

Victoria realizes that this is probably borne of an unhealthily obsessive desire to please her. A desire that she has, indeed, cultivated and nurtured by alternately giving and withholding affection to mold the girl into what suited Victoria best at the time. Which, she now guiltily acknowledges, is no way to treat a friend as good as Courtney strives to be.

As much as the black-haired beauty in front of her was trying to get a laugh out of her earlier by joking about “eating her out”, Victoria knows that there was, in fact, a kernel of truth to the suggestion. She’s fairly certain that if she asked it of her, Courtney would seamlessly transition into meeting her sexual needs as well… even if girls don’t do anything for her.

The thought makes Victoria’s stomach turn a little… don’t get her wrong, Courtney is hot as _fuck_. She wouldn’t dream of kicking her out of bed if the circumstances were right. But the idea of being offered sex out of some twisted sense of obligation sounds like the most depressing situation she can imagine right now.

The couple of encounters with Taylor a couple summers ago were already skirting dangerously close to that line, which was part of why Victoria ended it when she did. Now she realizes that she also did it out of fear that her dropping a nuclear bomb on the relationship, which Victoria always inevitably did if how things ended with Max are any indication, would destroy one of the few real friendships she has… even if she wasn’t willing to acknowledge it as such, at the time.

Victoria does intend to change the dynamic between the three of them, to ensure they know she doesn’t see them as mere servants who exist to suit her whims. For now, though, she is just going to allow herself to be supremely grateful for Courtney’s foresight and preparedness. Greedily snatching the pack from the girl’s palm, she tears it open in a flash and digs one out.

Upon lighting it she closes her eyes and takes a long, deep drag, savoring the cool burning sensation as it’s drawn through the filter pressed between her lips and swiftly travels down her throat and into her lungs.

After all the stress and bullshit she’s been through since the drive back to Blackwell, this may very well be the best cigarette Victoria’s _ever_ _had_.

Exhaling the plume of smoke in a slow, satiated sigh, she takes the cigarette between two of the fingers in her right hand, idly toying with the pink smear of lipstick left behind on the filter with her thumb in a way that makes the orange coal dance up and down on the other end.

“Oh my _God,_ Courtney, you so deserve a raise for this. You’re literally saving my life right now. Whatever I’m paying you: double it.”

The brunette gasps as though incensed at the very suggestion. “But you’re not paying me _ANYTHING_ right now!”

Victoria smirks and gives her a playful shove on the shoulder with her free hand.

“ _Fine_ , triple it then.”

A couple of minutes later as they are approaching the main entrance to the swimming pool area, it finally hits Victoria like a brick to the face. This wasn’t supposed to be just _any_ party… this was going to be her and Max’s debut social event as a couple, the Queen of Blackwell putting her Royal Consort on display for the world to see. It’s hard for her to imagine that it was literally just over one day ago that Victoria was sitting right over there under that tree, surrounded by friends and ready to ask the girl at her side if she wanted to make it official. If that Victoria had known just how badly the next twenty-four hours were going to blow up in her face, she’d probably have ran screaming all the way back to Seattle.

Thinking of that perfect golden hour makes her throat constrict tightly, and she slowly brings herself to a stop. When her companions turn to face her with questioning looks, she gives them a sweet smile, doing her best to keep her voice from quavering as she holds her cigarette aloft.

“I’m… just gonna finish this real quick. You two go on in, I’ll just be a minute.”

The pair share a knowing look before turning back to her, and it seems like Taylor is maybe going to say something but Victoria has already done an about-face and started marching off a few feet away. She pulls a tissue from her purse and tilts her head upward to stare at the clear night sky while willing away the moisture pooling behind her eyelids.

For just a moment, there actually appear to be _two_ brilliant full moons staring back at her like huge, glowing eyes. After blinking away her tears, dabbing at her own eyes all the while to ensure that none of the liquid escapes to ruin her mascara, she looks up again. This time there’s only the one moon floating above her, standing like a solitary sentinel amongst the stars.

She strongly considers calling this whole thing off. She could just head on back to her room and drink herself stupid with her own alcohol supply if she wants. Or pop a couple pills and pass out, hopefully making it through the night and as much of the next day as possible before she’s finally forced to get up to face this shit again.

Or maybe just swallow her pride and her guilt and her whatever else she’s got going on in her head right now and knock on a certain someone’s door.

_“Hi, remember how you said if I didn’t go to the party you’d do anything? Well… is that offer still open…?”_

It wouldn’t even be about sex. Right now, she’d love nothing more than to have someone hold her tight while she cries herself to sleep.

By the time her cigarette has nearly been worn down to the filter, however, Victoria thinks she’s regained enough control of her emotions to face the party. Heaving a final, smoky sigh, she tosses the butt on the sidewalk and crushes the dying coal with a well-placed heel. Starting back for the pool entrance, she probes under her eyes with the tip of her pinky. Make-up seems to be intact, so at least she managed to do something right.

Of course, Taylor and Courtney did not go on in to the party like she asked them to, and are instead standing just off to the side of the gymnasium’s glass doors. Her friends are having an animated conversation, and though they seem to be trying to keep their voices low, it’s not quiet enough that Victoria can’t pick up part of their conversation as she approaches.

“… saw her heading for the stairs with her Mom and Dad, I guess. She was _definitely_ upset. Her Dad was carrying a suitcase, too… do you think she’s…?”

“… she goddamn better _not_ come back here if she knows what’s good for her. Next time I see her ‘busted Taylor Swift’-looking ass I swear to God I’ll smack the smug right off her… Oh, Hey Vic!”

Courtney and Taylor both look up at her, the nervous twitching of their face muscles doing nothing to hide the fact that they’d just been talking about Max.

Victoria just gives them a coy smirk as though she didn’t hear a single word. “What? Are you sluts planning to hang out here all night or are we gonna fuckin’ _party_?”

This time it’s a relieved smile that passes between them, before Taylor holds out an inviting hand. Taking it in one of hers, Victoria takes one more deep breath before pulling open one of the heavy doors. Her green eyes are drawn to the giant banner plastered over the entryway.

_The End of the World, huh?_

_Bring it, bitches._

*****

**Blackwell Academy: Swimming Pool**

Bypassing the line that has stretched out to just inside the entrance, proper, Courtney nods over in the direction of the coat check station before making a beeline for it. While it’s hard to make out faces from this distance, with the only light source being a dim red strip of back-lighting, Victoria thinks she can see a familiar looking boy leaning on the counter, chatting up the girl manning the station behind it. As they get closer, the boy looks up and stands excitedly, holding a red solo cup up in the air in salute.

“Heeeeeeeey if it isn’t Victoria Von Doom and her Doom Bots! Welcome to the End of the World ladies!” Warren calls out enthusiastically, though he does seem to be slurring his words slightly. He’s wearing a white tee over a longer-sleeved gray undershirt and a pair of jeans, and while it’s not quite Victoria’s idea of getting dressed up for a party of this caliber, his clothes at least look freshly pressed and refreshingly absent of Star Wars characters or Cheeto and soda stains.

“Hi Victoria!” the always hoodie-clad Stella Hill calls out chipperly from behind the counter, making it perfectly clear why Warren is hanging out here instead of inside the party proper. Looking to her companions, she follows this up with a somewhat more neutral “Hey Courtney!” before ending with a noticeably flat, just this-shy of icy “hi Taylor…”

“ _Heeeeeeey_ Stella! _Heeeeeeeey_ Warren!” Taylor cries excitedly as she jogs toward the pair, making sure to give the boy’s lightly wavy brown hair a little ruffle upon arriving. If she notices the glare this earns her from his girlfriend, who is standing less than three feet away from her, she doesn’t show it on her face. Despite appearances to the contrary, Taylor is not, in fact, ‘Miss Steal-Yo-Man’… she’s just a _shameless_ flirt who is seemingly oblivious to any negative attention that might garner from other people’s partners.

“Graham. Hill.” Victoria gives the couple a curt nod each. The two of them have been dating for the better part of a month now, ever since she and her cronies gave Warren a not so gentle nudge into asking the girl out. Despite the fact that she only did it to keep the socially awkward young man from trying to stick his nose up Max Caulfield’s ass all the time, it _does_ warm her heart a little to see how happy they are together. Maybe even a _little_ more than a little. Not that she would ever let on to this publicly, or anything… she _does_ have a reputation to maintain, after all.

And before anyone asks "... why Stella tho", don't. There is no reason at all why Victoria specifically dropped that name to Warren, and even if there was, it's none of your fucking business, ok? Besides, who else in this school would he have actually had a shot with?

“What are you doing behind the counter, girl?” Taylor leans in toward Stella to make it easier for her to hear. “Ya’ll should be out dancing!”

Seemingly off-put by her former glare target’s unperturbed demeanor, the long-haired brunette stammers out “Oh, um… not here to party, unfortunately. Just working.”

“Not working _too_ hard, I see…” Courtney chides with a dismissive eye-roll that encompasses both of them, before holding out an expectant hand to the girl.

“Who even hired you for this anyway?” When Stella stares blankly at her hand for a moment too long, Courtney sighs in irritation and points at a clipboard in front of her.

“Oh! Sorry!” Stella murmurs sheepishly as she hands the clipboard over. “Mr. Jefferson hired me, actually. I guess he knows I don’t have a lot of money, even with my part-time job and the scholarship, so…” she shrugs.

“Did, um… you guys have anything you needed checked in?” she adds, at least trying to look professional under Courtney’s watchful glare.

“ _As if_ we would trust plebes with any of our shit!” Courtney mutters, her attention now mainly focused on the clipboard in her hand. Mostly to herself, she continues “I can’t _even_ believe Wells won’t let me select personnel for these things, it’s not like I don’t handle _literally everything else!_ ”

Attempting to steer the conversation away from her friend’s attitude, Taylor chimes in “Yeah, sure, but we can spare somebody from the club long enough to let Stella get in a dance or two, right Court?”

Stella’s mocha-colored cheeks flush a bit as she looks down at her clothes. “Uh… thanks Taylor, I appreciate it, really. But I don’t think I’m cool enough for this kind of party.”

“No way!” Taylor chides, “Nobody cares about that. Besides, you’re so smart and always busting your ass for the school, I think you earned a little time to cut loose!”

“Yeeeeeah!” Warren slurs, nearly sloshing his drink onto Taylor as he waves his hands animatedly. “You’re, like, the coolest person here anyway!"

"Don’t you think so, Vick Grimes?” he adds, turning to Victoria with a sloppy grin.

Choosing to ignore the question and the pop culture reference, the green-eyed blonde can’t fully keep the laughter from her voice when she asks “Oh my _God_ , Graham… are you _drunk_?”

“Yeah… if you count half a beer as drinking.” Stella teases, poking her boyfriend in the side before affectionately adding “ _Lightweight._ ”

For his part Warren just beams back at her, though whether his blush is from embarrassment or the 4 ounces or so of _hard liquor_ coursing through his veins is anyone’s guess.

“Hnnnngggh!” Taylor grunts. “You two are soooo cute together I could just die!”

Victoria just rolls her eyes and shakes her head at the scene in front of her, finding it increasingly difficult to hide her own smile.

_Yep. **Definitely** my good deed for the year._

“Wait, that’s right!” Warren exclaims suddenly before rounding on Victoria again. “I was tryin’ to tell you in class the other day, but y’know how Stella and I are goin’ to the Planet of the Apes marathon this weekend at the drive-in? I managed to score a couple extra tickets if you think you and… and…” his voice trails off, and as he looks around in confusion Victoria’s blood runs cold.

_Shit! Of course, he doesn’t fucking know yet. Don’t you dare say it, Graham!_

Taylor almost certainly would have spread the word amongst the others in the Vortex Club that Max as a topic was _strictly_ _verboten_ while Victoria was at the party, but she couldn’t have anticipated that they’d have spent this much time outside of the VIP area already, and it’s definitely not something that would have been disseminated to the common rabble.

Victoria grits her teeth, already feel her throat tightening as he locks her green eyes with his brown.

_Don’t you fucking dare! I swear to God if I cry tonight in front of Warren Graham, **of all people** , I’ll have no choice but to jump off a building or something!_

“Hey…” he continues. “Where’s…”

“I know!!!” Taylor cries suddenly, grabbing Warren by the arm and giving him a firm tug in the direction of the party. “I bet your sweet girl won’t mind if I steal you for a dance or two… right, Stella?”

Stella pauses, eyeing the both of them dubiously before answering through gritted teeth. “Um… I guess not. Have fun you two!”

The glare she gives Warren clearly communicates exactly how little fun he is allowed to have. To his credit, the way the blood seems to drain from his face as Taylor drags him off implies he received her message loud and clear, drunk or not.

Stella watches the pair disappear behind the curtain separating this area from the party itself, before turning a quizzical eye of her own on Victoria. “So… anyway, where _is_ M—”

She’s startled into silence by Courtney’s fingers snapping mere inches in front of her face. Before she has time to react, the girl is shoving the clipboard toward Stella and pointing an angry finger at some line item or another. “Since you’re working _soooo_ hard tonight, Hill, I’m _sure_ you can explain this to me?”

Victoria heaves a sigh of relief as the girl scrambles to try and figure out what Courtney’s referring to. For the second time this evening, she’s forced to acknowledge how little she deserves having friends as good as these.

Taking a moment to compose herself, Victoria finally decides to follow Taylor and Warren through the dark curtains and into the party. On her way, however, she decides to give Courtney a playful pinch on the butt through her skinny jeans, causing the girl to yelp in surprise and drawing everyone’s attention.

“Hey!!!!” She calls after Victoria, still rubbing her sore backside. “Don’t start what you can’t finish, Chase!!!”

Victoria turns and gives her a grateful wink, chuckling ruefully before she disappears behind the curtains.

She's immediately assaulted by strobing lights and a crush of bodies as honeys in bikinis and dudebros in swimming trunks and jorts who make Warren look _over_ -dressed jam the poolside. Nearby some idiot narrowly avoids killing people when he does a cannonball mere inches from their heads, to the resounding cheers of those he just put in harm's way.

The idea of making her way through this gauntlet to the VIP section, the secluded area behind the stage at the far end of the pool designated for Vortex Club members and approved guests only, does seem more than a little daunting now that Victoria has found herself bereft of both her escorts for the evening. She briefly considers hanging back to wait for them, or pulling them away from what they’re doing.

But she can see Taylor nearby, dancing away while cackling like a madman at Warren as he drunkenly tries to pull off his best 'Robot' moves. She’s having a great time by the look of it. And while Courtney was mainly just micro-managing any and every miniscule task that caught her eye, that was _her_ idea of fun too. Victoria didn’t want to interrupt either of them for something so stupid… they had already done so much just to get her here tonight, after all. Besides, she’s not an invalid or anything.

So, Victoria Chase pulls up her big girl pants, takes a deep breath and starts moving forward. After the first few steps, it almost started to feel easy. Almost.

As focused as she is on putting one foot in front of the other, Victoria definitely does not notice the pair of eyes that lock onto her from their vantage point in a dark, secluded corner of the room. Those same eyes intently follow her every step of the way until she breezes past security and into VIP area.

*****

Having finally arrived at the relatively calmer scene that is the VIP section, with its soothing purple light and far fewer rando party-goers, Victoria makes a beeline for the bar. Taking a shot almost as fast as the bartender can pour it, she orders another while the burning liquid from the first makes its way down her chest and into her stomach. It’s not until after the second shot is sent off in hot pursuit of the first that she takes the time to actually look around.

Nathan is no where to be seen, which is honestly a bit surprising. When Victoria bowed out the day before, this became _his_ shindig after all. His opportunity to shine on his own, out from under the Queen of Blackwell’s shadow. And, by all accounts, this party was off to an epic start… so why wasn’t he here to bask in the glory of a job well done?

Oh well, there’d be time to track him down later. Continuing to scan the room, she spies Hayden behind her, zoning out on a couch with a cutie under each arm as usual. Logan is nearby, chatting up some hanger-on or another.

Dana Ward – slutty cheerleader extraordinaire – is busy ho’ing up the small darkened dance area behind the stage, dancing and gyrating with her bra straps visible and tits hanging out like the walking stereotype that she is. Her dance partner, a skater burnout named Trevor, is twitching and thrusting in a manner that could only be called "dancing" in the loosest sense of the term, and could more accurately be described as a rave-induced epileptic seizure. He was honestly making Warren back in the main pool area look like Dirty Dancing-era Patrick Swayze.

On the opposite side of the room, Juliet is on another couch, busy proving that she has approximately zero sense of self-worth by hooking up with Zach despite having caught him sexting another girl earlier this week.

Of course, the ‘other girl’ was, in fact, Victoria herself… but to be fair, she had done it as part of a prank to make Juliet think he was sexting her best friend, Dana. Sure, it perhaps was not her finest moment, and honestly, she wouldn’t touch Zach with a ten-foot pole even if he _was_ the last hard body left in Arcadia Bay. But she and the girls had gotten a good laugh out of both Juliet’s epic meltdown outside Dana’s door and Zach’s… unique ideas of what constitutes sexy talk, so all in all it had been worth it.

Besides, Juliet did start this little feud by putting out that hit piece article in the school paper likening the Vortex Club to a cult, and Victoria couldn’t just let that slide, could she? Seriously, Juliet is a fucking member of the club, and happily reaps all the benefits that entails, so... Hypocrite, much?

Victoria is another couple of shots in before Taylor makes her way over to stand next to her, and she can feel the warm buzz of the liquid courage swirling in her brain as the sweet girl lays a cheek on her shoulder and asks how she's doing. She lies and says that she’s doing ok, she’s having fun, but the look in her friend’s eyes tells her that she’s not quite buying it.

After some cajoling, Taylor manages to drag her away from the bar long enough for a quick dance, which does get her blood pumping and earns a few laughs… mostly from the pair of them trying to dodge whatever lewd cheerleader body parts are flung in their direction when they accidentally meander too close to Dana and Trevor’s spot. Afterward they make their way over to one of the couches right next to the bar, where they each get a drink to nurse while chatting about random bullshit. A few people walk over every now and then to ask how it's hanging, but for the most part everyone does a good job of allowing her to chill.

Courtney does pop in a few times to check in and hang for a few minutes, but it’s never long until some party crisis or another rears its ugly head to draw her away.

Victoria's actually starting to feel pretty loose after a while. Not quite numb or to the point of forgetting all the crap she’s gone through on this seemingly month-long day, but at least to the point where it’s easier not to care so much. It’s not long after that when the familiar curly-haired and constantly vaguely pissed-off face of Nathan Prescott appears from the door to the VIP-claimed restrooms that also serves as a rear exit out of the gymnasium.

Victoria lays her hand on one of Taylor’s, slurring just a bit as she speaks. “Hey… thanks for keeping me company, but you can go take over for Stella for a while. I know you want to.”

Taylor looks conflicted. “Maybe, but… I think it’d be better if I stay with you?”

Victoria smiles and gives her a quick peck on the cheek. “Go. I’m good. Besides, Nathan’s here and I haven’t talked to him since… you know.”

Taylor’s eyes widen with realization at that, but she continues to give her friend a searching look for a long moment afterwards. Finally, she nods, and gives her a quick hug.

“Call or text if you need me, ok? I’ll be like thirty yards away and have my phone in hand the whole time.”

“I will. _Au revoir_.”

With that she gets up from the couch and heads toward Nathan as he’s having an animated conversation with Logan

“and THEN she said… Vic?!” Nathan looks up in shock when he notices her approach, his mouth dropping open and his cheeks draining to white. He looks like he’s literally seen a ghost or something.

“Nate…!” Victoria assumes that his expression is in response to the hurt brewing on her face at what she’s about to tell him. She’s been keeping it together pretty well tonight, but now, with her resolve inches away from cracking, she rushes the last few feet to throw her arms around him.

He returns her hug, all the while trying to pull back enough to get a look at her face. She can hear a thin layer of panic in his voice. “Vic… you’re not supposed to be here. You said you wouldn’t be here!”

“Oh, Nate…!” is all she can bring herself to respond before burying her head into his neck and sobbing.

*****

“I’ll kill her…” Nathan mutters, rage evident on his face as he bends down to place his elbows on his knees, staring a hole in the floor from his perch on one of the stools in front of the bar. “I swear to God Vic, I’m gonna fucking kill her for hurting you like that…”

“Hey… stop that!” Victoria takes time from dabbing at her eyes in an effort to prevent a second make-up catastrophe in as many days. She feels like she’s doing a decent job of it, but is certain Courtney would have kittens if she could see what she’s let her artistry come to.

She grabs Nathan’s chin and forces him to look at her, tapping on his cheek lightly with her fingers when she sees that his eyes still have that faraway look. She pats his cheek again, slightly harder this time… not quite a slap, but leaving enough of a sting to finally get his attention. She’s not trying to hurt him at all, but she’s seen enough of his meltdowns by this point to know when she needs to pull him out of a spiral.

“Look… what Max said fucking sucked, ok? But it’s not her fault she feels the way she feels and… I _do_ still care about her. If you hurt her it’ll hurt me, and you don’t want to do _that_ , right?”

His face goes ashen again at that, and he looks like he’s fighting the urge to throw up. But after a few moments he nods lamely, and turns his focus back to the floor, his left leg jangling up and down against the lower rung of the barstool.

Victoria orders another round of shots before laying her head on his shoulder. They sit in silence for several minutes before he finally speaks, his voice husky like he’s holding back tears.

“How did everything get so fucked up…?”

She rubs her hand in slow circles along the small of his back, finding it vaguely amusing that she’s the one comforting him after _her_ break-up. But that’s just how things usually go when it comes to Nathan.

She snorts. “I know, right? Been a hell of a long day if you ask me.”

“It’s been that way a lot longer…” he mutters, so quietly she can barely hear it.

There’s another long, tense silence until he finally looks up at her, his eyes darting around wildly and his pupils blown.

“Vic… let’s just _go_. Right now, get in your car and fucking drive, leave Arcadia Bay and our shitty parents and all the rest of this fucking bullshit behind.”

Victoria goggles at the boy as though he’s grown a second head. “Uh… _what the fuck_ are you talking about, Nate? Are you high or off your meds or whatever? You sound manic…”

“No, I’m serious! I’ve got cash, we can just pick a direction and—”

“And what, pull a _Rachel?_ Christ, Nate, I had a bad break-up. I’m not _that_ fucking dramatic.”

“Vic, listen! I—”

But she’s not listening anymore, as the sight of the curtains being pulled aside again makes her sit up straight, her breath catching in her throat. Or rather, it’s the person walking through the curtain that has this effect on her.

Mark Jefferson, looking as dashing as ever with his perfectly coiffed hair, professional attire, fashionable glasses, and neatly trimmed beard. He nods to a few of the students as he passes by on the way to the back of the DJ’s stage.

He is here, of course, to announce the winner of the Everyday Heroes contest. The national photography contest he’d encouraged everyone in his class to submit entries for, the winner of which would be flying out to San Francisco tomorrow afternoon, Jefferson at her side, to hobnob with the other regional winners and luminaries of the art world. It is the kind of thing that can launch a young photographer’s career.

Now, Victoria had not forgotten about the contest… not by a long shot. It was more that she had written it off, because it was a foregone conclusion to everyone who was going to win.

Max Caulfield.

Victoria’s entry was a great shot. She’d managed to capture a middle-aged doctor, sitting in a waiting area with his head in his hands, forlorn after having just lost a patient. She was proud of it. It was the kind of shot that could have won in most any other school. But it was also the kind of shot that just about anyone could have taken, if they were in the right place at the right time.

Max’s entry was nothing short of amazing. At first glance it appears to be just another selfie, save that her back is turned to the camera and the it’s being taken in front of the photo wall in her room. But on closer inspection, one realizes that the focus is not on Max herself, but on the numerous photos she had taken of the residents of Arcadia Bay, implying that they are _her_ heroes for leading lives that inspire her to create art.

It also doesn't hurt that Jefferson seems to think Max's shit smells like roses... though to be fair, nearly everyone else does too. Including Victoria up until about four hours ago.

Though she does suffer from some degree of professional jealousy, she is happy for Max and more than willing to cheer her on.

...

On the other hand… the winner hadn’t _actually_ been announced _yet_ , and if there was ever a time for the universe to throw Victoria Chase a bone, wouldn’t it be now?

Before she knows it, she is on her feet and gliding toward Mr. Jefferson, leaving Nathan spluttering in surprise behind her and plastering her best professional smile on her face. Once they make eye contact, Jefferson calls out a cheerful greeting.

“So, you made it, Victoria! I was starting to worry, since you weren’t in class today and it seemed as though no one had heard from you.”

It strikes her how similar Jefferson and Max are, aside from the obvious differences such as Max being approximately the height of a garden gnome and Jefferson not having a vagina. They are both brunettes, strikingly beautiful, and passionate, ambitious photographers. She attempts to channel some of that feeling into her response.

“Oh, that is _so_ sweet of you, Mark.” she beams at him and reaches out to gently touch his arm. “I was called away on an… urgent matter, but I do apologize for not touching base with you today.”

He pulls his arm away from her touch, glancing around the room at the other students nearby.

“I understand, but let’s stick to ‘Mr. Jefferson’, Victoria.” It could be the alcohol talking but she thinks she can hear a silent ‘for now’ in his voice. It does raise her meager hopes just a hair.

Looking around again, he asks the question that she’d successfully dodged twice already today, but apparently the third time is indeed the charm.

“So, where’s Max?”

Those tiny hopes of hers are dashed upon the all-too-familiar rocky shores of depressing reality before even having a chance to leave their infancy. Her response comes out more petulant than she would have liked.

“… Why? I suppose _she’s_ the winner, then?”

Jefferson flashes her a smug grin. “Now, now, Victoria. You wouldn’t ask me to spoil my big announcement, would you? I only ask because I hadn’t heard from her today either, and the two of you are… _so close._ ”

With the way he says those last two syllables, he may as well have been stabbing her straight in the heart. It makes Victoria want to punch that grin right off his face.

Instead, she defaults to HPD checklist #10, ‘Inappropriately seductive behavior’. She leans forward and speaks in a voice low enough for just the two of them to hear.

“Forgive me, Ma-- _Mr. Jefferson_. I’m just so excited at the thought of seeing my work on display. You know, if I _did_ win, we would have to spend a LOT of time together in San Francisco… That could be… _fun_ , don’t you think?”

_Ooooh, nice one, Vic. Hey why don’t you offer to suck his dick while you’re at it?_

She’s pretty sure the disgust she feels inside is reflected on his face.

“I’m going to think you didn’t just say any of that.”

She _knows_ she’s made enough of a fool of herself already, but a flare of anger rises up to overwhelm the rest of the murky pool of emotions tumbling around in her alcohol-fueled brain.

“ _Whatever_.” She huffs, and turns to stalk away. “Hope you enjoy your trip, then. Shame you’ll be going solo.”

He reaches out and grabs her shoulder to stop her, his eyes hardening. “And what’s that supposed to mean…?”

_Oh, **sure**. You don’t mind touching a student in public when MAX is involved, do you?_

She couldn’t keep the sneer off her face if she wanted to. The anger is running full tilt now. It’s always about Max _fucking_ Caulfield, isn’t it? Everyone’s favorite manic pixie dream girl with the magic mouth who gets everything she wants without even _trying_. The perfect shots. The respect of their teacher. The adoration of everyone in this shithole town.

Victoria’s heart, even though she never really wanted it in the first place. Victoria’s body, when even _that_ wasn’t enough.

She meant what she said to Nate about still having feelings for her. She meant all the hateful things she said about herself in the showers after hurting Max the way she did.

But a part of Victoria knows that even if how she’d reacted to Max was wrong, she still hadt a _right_ to be pissed. Courtney was at least half-correct: _Max used her_. For a whole month she strung Victoria along, knowing how Victoria felt about her, knowing that she was in love with someone else.

It got her in the Vortex Club. It got her dates at fancy restaurants and gallery showings at the Chase Space. It even got her one of the best lawyers in the Pacific North-West. Not that Victoria wouldn’t have helped her regardless, she wasn’t lying about that before… but that didn’t change the fact that Max had conveniently waited until _after_ Victoria bailed her out of the worst jam of her life before breaking things off.

Maybe that interpretation of events isn’t fair to Max, but life sure doesn’t feel very fair to Victoria right this moment either. Maybe she has a right to try to take Max down a peg, at least in their teacher’s eyes.

“It’s not my business to share.” She snaps. “But... let’s just say she hasn’t been very “Heroic”, lately. Quite the opposite, in fact. I doubt she’ll be allowed to leave the _state_.”

He studies her for an uncomfortably long time, his face expressionless.

“I’ll… take that under advisement. Not that it will change the outcome tonight, the decision has already been made. But thanks for giving me a heads-up, regardless.”

She rolls her eyes and is about to turn away again when he calls out to her again. “Hey, Victoria… maybe you should take it easy tonight, ok?” His face is hard as he gives a pointed nod in the direction of the bar, before shifting to offer her a kind, fatherly smile. “You look… _tired_.”

With that he’s turning and jogging up the stairs leading to the stage, to the sounds of cheers and cat-calls from many of the students on the other side. As she watches him go, she’s struck by another similarity between Max and Mark, the two beautiful brunette photographers she’s alternated pining for over the course of the school year.

_His_ smile never seemed to reach his eyes, either.

…

Maybe Victoria really does have a type, after all.

*****

“… I don’t want to get in the way of the party, but it’s time to announce the winner of the ‘Everyday Heroes’ contest.”

Victoria stalks back toward the bar while Mark Jefferson’s smarmy voice can be heard over the speakers in the background.

_Wow, Vic. I guess we see how things turn out for the ones YOU truly--_

“Shut the fuck _UP_!” she snarls aloud, not allowing herself to even finish the thought. This causes Logan to recoil as she passes by, holding his arms up defensively. She ignores him.

She’ll have plenty of time to wallow in self-hatred later. Right now, she’s pissed off, humiliated, and in need of a fucking _drink_.

“—Now this is the most important part of being an artist, sharing your art with—”

Nate is sitting on a stool facing the bar, with two drinks in front of him – one in each hand. He downs one of them as she approaches, staring sullenly into the other all the while as though it’s a well he accidently dropped his wallet down into.

He still hasn’t looked up by the time she stops next to him.

“Is that for me?” She reaches down to lay her hand on the glass.

He jumps at the sound of her voice, looking up at her with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. His face has taken on a greenish tint, and his skin looks clammy with a sheen of sweat budding up on his forehead. She doesn’t know what his deal is tonight but she doesn’t have it in her to care much right now.

“—The envelope please. And the winner is… –“

“Y-yeah…” he gulps, looking down at the glass. He doesn’t release his hold on it, however.

“I think this fucking idiot mixed it wrong, though… let me get you another one.”

He moves as though to dump the drink in the sink behind the bar.

“—Oh my, what a shocker… _Max Caulfield!_ ”

Loud cheering can be heard from the other side of the stage, mixed with some hoots and clapping from this end as well.

Victoria wrenches the glass from his grasp, sloshing some of the brown liquid out onto her hand and the floor in the process. “Like I give a shit” she growls, downing the remainder of the drink in one go.

Nate isn’t looking at her now. He’s just staring holes into his hands, clenched into tight fists on the bar in front of him. He probably doesn’t want to see the look of defeat in her eyes.

_Whatever_. She grabs a tall, mostly full bottle of Vodka for good measure before flinging open the door that leads to the restroom and, beyond it, the girl’s lockers.

“—Now, I understand that Max can’t be here tonight. So, please allow me to say a few words on her behalf. When Miss Caulfield first strolled into my –“

Jefferson’s voice is muffled as the door swings closed behind her, replaced by the loud _BLOOPS_ of her phone blowing up. The lights are off in the locker area, and she takes the time to wedge herself in an especially dark corner between a row of lockers and the wall before pulling her phone out.

She ignores all of the message notifications save for the group chat between her, Taylor, and Courtney. After tapping to open it, she furiously types out a few lines of her own.

\-----

**Sweet T** – D: D: D: - **10/10 10:05 PM**

**Court** – NO FKIN WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A RECOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - **10/10 10:05 PM**

**Sweet T** – Vic, where r u?????? - **10/10 10:07 PM**

Chill went back 2 dorm

Stay & have fun, need 2 b alone right now

Thx for tonight you two were great btw

Silencing phone so fuck off… xoxo - **10/10 10:08 PM**

\-----

Victoria unscrews the cap to the Vodka bottle and takes two hard, gulping pulls. She’s not really lying to her friends, she tells herself. She does intend to go back to her room. She just wants to get a good ugly cry out of the way here in her nice, dark hiding spot before sneaking out the back, and figures she can put a solid dent in this bottle while she does. She thinks she knows her limits well enough by now to gauge how deep she can go while still being able to stumble back to the dorms unscathed.

She also doesn’t want them to drop everything and scramble to escort her. They’ve already gone above and beyond tonight and she wants to give them time to relax without feeling like they need to babysit.

Victoria’s not sure exactly how long she sits there, drinking and crying and feeling sorry for herself.

All she knows is that the dizziness and nausea hits her _waaaay_ faster than she expected.

…

She barely has time for her mind to register the fact that she’s standing before the floor suddenly rushes back up to meet her head, and the entire world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone! 
> 
> I originally wrote out some extended scenes for this chapter, including a flashback showing how the Three Amigos convinced Warren to ask Stella out and some more stuff in the "plebes" area of the party, but the more I looked at it the more they seemed to be bogging down the chapter without adding a whole lot of value.
> 
> Let me know in the comments if any of you are interested in me posting scenes that I've written but ultimately edited out. I've got them saved somewhere so if there's enough interest I might post a "bonus chapter" of deleted scenes when all is said and done.
> 
> I hope this chapter finds all of you well!
> 
> *****
> 
> Chapter title reference: _[Follow You](https://youtu.be/9ieASpHKfbs)_ by CHVRCHES


	8. Tether (Part 1): Seeing the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kate grows closer to Victoria, she struggles with the implications of her destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback episode getting us caught up on the past month from Kate's perspective.
> 
> CW: suicidal ideation and imagery

**Tuesday, September 10 th, 2013 – Blackwell Academy: Courtyard**

"There..." Kate says, giving the brown liquid a final swirl before handing the teacup back to Stella. "Tell me what you think!"

She gives her "tea date" an expectant grin as the girl hesitantly raises the cup to her lips, and can't help but giggle at the way she holds her pinky finger up and away like people do in British period dramas.

The day is just lovely for it, outside in the Blackwell Academy courtyard with birds chirping and a pair of squirrels cavorting nearby. Kate and Stella are sitting along the edge of the fountain that surrounds the founder's statue, basking in the warm summer-afternoon sun as they enjoy each other's company.

The hoodie-clad girl takes a long sip, looking contemplatively upward as she allows the hot tea to swirl in her mouth a bit before swallowing. After a moment she nods, her dark eyebrows raised and lips pursed to form an expression of surprised admiration.

"It's really good, actually," she says finally, giving Kate a thankful smile. "What kind did you say it is?"

Kate rocks her head slightly from side to side, humming in the way that she does when she's especially pleased with herself. "Nothing fancy, just Earl Grey with a touch of honey. Would you like some more in yours?"

"Don't mind if I do, madam!" Stella exclaims with mock propriety as she holds out her cup to catch the dollop of honey being offered. "It's fancy enough for me, though. The only tea I ever had growing up was the powdered stuff that comes in the little cans."

"What can I say? It's my guilty pleasure." Kate takes a sip of her own tea, closing her eyes as she sighs contentedly.

"If THAT's your idea of a guilty pleasure, then the rest of us are _screwed_!"

"Oh, stop!" Kate playfully swats at her friend's arm. "It's just something I got in the habit of when I was around ten or so, and I've been hooked ever since. My sisters and I have had little tea dates just like this every week since."

Stella frowns. "Too bad Alyssa's being an ass about it this time."

"Oh, n-no... that's… that’s my fault... I'm sorry." Kate stammers, taking her turn to look away. Alyssa didn't take the news that she was planning on inviting Victoria to their inaugural tea party well at all, and refused to participate even after Kate offered to change her mind.

"No, it's not." Stella chides. "I think it's cool of you to invite her. Even if it is kind of a longshot, I keep half-expecting to look up and see Taylor and Courtney carrying Her Majesty over here on her Royal Palanquin.”

They both share a laugh at the idea, but Kate has to keep the pang of disappointment from her voice. It’s been a little more than a week since she’d had her overwhelming realization that Victoria is the mysterious girl she’d been dreaming about since her thirteenth birthday. Her _angel_. And while it took most of that time to work up enough nerve to just be in the same room as the blonde-haired beauty without feeling the urge to flee in a state of existential panic, she hadn’t quite worked out exactly how to break the ice between them.

Victoria seemed off-put by Kate ever since her freak-out in the dorm hallway that morning. And though it made Kate feel terribly sad, she couldn’t really blame her. She’d honestly hoped she could go for more than a day in her new school without everyone thinking she was a total weirdo, but to have it happen right in front of her literal dream-girl was even more humiliating. Especially considering how fun, and nervously exciting, and ( _ohmygosh_ ) _revealing_ their interactions had been the couple of days prior.

Even so, she’d felt hopeful butterflies in her stomach when she sent Victoria the invitation. Via text, of course – she knew she’d have been far too nervous and awkward to ask in person.

Not being rejected in person didn’t soften the blow, however, when she overheard Victoria and Max talking about working on the candid photography project today. _Especially_ not when Max had proudly proclaimed that it was "a date" for all the world to hear, like it was just as easy as breathing.

She knew it wasn’t very Christian to feel envy in her heart. It would have been easier to avoid if it was just about how Max could talk to anyone without stuttering, or being awkward, or her words coming out all wrong like Kate’s often did. Or about being brave and driven enough to just ask someone out on a date, a _date-date_ , without feeling the need to run all the way back to her room.

But when Victoria looked at Max sometimes, in that way that Kate wished she would look at her? It would only compound her sin by lying if she claimed it wasn’t envy.

“You’ve gotta admit, she _does_ come off as a Royal bitch most of the time.”

“W-what?” Kate stutters, momentarily panicked at the idea that she had accidentally shared her thoughts about Max out loud, before remembering that they had been speaking about _Victoria_ just before.

“Whuh… No! I mean… ok, _yes_ , she can be a… n-not nice sometimes, but I feel like there’s so much more to her than that. She’s ambitious, and passionate. She’ll move Heaven and Earth for her friends. And… I don’t know, I just feel like maybe she’s not nice to others because she has a hard time being nice to herself.”

_Oh, and also I've been in love with her since I started dreaming about her when I was thirteen years old despite just having met two weeks ago and I'm pretty sure she's literally a divine being sent from heaven. You know, like any normal teenager would._

Stella bumps Kate’s shoulder with her own.

“Chill, dude. All I’m saying is I’m really impressed you’re not as terrified of her as most everyone else.”

Kate blushes slightly, unsure of what to say to that kind of praise. So, she smiles shyly and raises her teacup to her mouth instead.

As the other girl follows suit, Kate can't help but admire how pretty she is, with her brown skin, silky hair, dark blue eyes and pouty lips. Perhaps that’s why she feels the sudden urge to impishly tease her.

“I’m just happy I could pull you away from working and studying long enough to hang out with me like this.”

Stella rolls her eyes. “Pfft, I hang out! It’s not my fault that I have to work part-time to supplement my scholarship, and it’s not like my GPA is going to raise itself, you know.”

“Yes, _buuuut_ …” Kate continues with a mischievous smile. “You do need to take time to relax so you don’t burn yourself out! You know, tea… hobbies… _dating_ …”

The last word is accompanied by a gossipy, prying eyebrow.

_That_ makes her tea-date raise a hand to her chest in mock surprise. “ _Whaaaaaaat_? Is Abstinence-Annie really asking me about my _love-life?_ ”

“Hey! You know I don’t judge! And besides, even abstinent people can still go on dates!”

“Well, no news to report on that front I’m afraid,” Stella starts, before giving her a sly smirk. “I would make a move on Jefferson if Victoria would let me get a word in edgewise, though.”

“Stella!!!” Kate gasps, horrified.

“What, he’s pretty hot for an older guy!”

“ _Older?_ He’s twice your age!”

“Twice plus two years actually.” Stella raises a couple fingers twice for emphasis. “I googled him! Besides, it’s not like being into older men is a crime or anything.”

“Given that he’s your teacher I do believe it is!” Kate rubs at her left temple, aghast.

“Are you telling me there aren’t any boys _our_ age you’re interested in?”

Stella thinks for a moment, then shrugs. “I dunno… maybe one or two.” Then she casts her eyes to the side before mumbling “maybe a _little_ younger…”

“Oh, hallelujah!” Kate raises her eyes and unoccupied hand to the heavens. “I was about to stage an intervention.”

Stella sticks her tongue out at the dirty-blonde sitting next to her, before her face spreads into a wolfish grin.

“So… how bout _you_? Does _Kate Marsh_ have a crush on anybody?”

Kate immediately regrets starting down this path, and tries to turn away as she can feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

Stella seems startled at first, but soon enough her eyes are gleaming with excitement as she leans forward. “Wait… you actually _DO?_ Oh my God, _spill!!!_ ”

Desperately attempting to avoid meeting Stella’s eyes, Kate stammers “A- a lady never tells!”

“Shit!” Stella groans. “I really do need a boyfriend now… if I let Kate Marsh beat me in the romance department, I’ll never live it down!”

Kate bites her lip as a playful thought crosses her mind.

_What is something Victoria might say in this situation?_

Then, uncharacteristically bold despite the blush touching her cheeks, she turns back to Stella and smirks.

“I don’t know, _Hill_ … you may have a lot more catching up to do than you think.” She punctuates this with her best imperious eyebrow impression.

“Oh? How so?” Stella attempts to be nonchalant as she raises her cup for a final time.

“At least I’ve seen _my_ crush naked.”

Kate can’t hold back her giggles as Stella spits most of her last gulp of Earl Grey out in a fine, honey-infused brown mist.

Suddenly, though, her attention is drawn away from the spluttering girl sitting next to her when she feels a familiar kind of pressure forming near her left temple, followed by a growing heat… almost as though someone had focused the light from a magnifying glass onto her head.

Looking up in confusion, Kate turns in that direction to see someone standing at the far end of the courtyard, pointing a fancy looking camera right at her. The camera mostly obscures the girl’s face... save for a familiar mop of short blonde hair and a distinctive purse of pink lips.

Kate gasps, her cheeks turning scarlet as her heart begins to pound in her ears. She has felt this sensation before, and every time she looked around, she always found those same emerald eyes staring back at her. _That_ didn't seem so unusual to Kate, however... after all, God has been sending her dreams of Victoria for years now. Experiencing tangible evidence of their metaphysical bond only makes sense.

But for a photographer like Victoria Chase, to deem _Kate_ worthy of her artistic vision? That shocks her. Shocks her and delights her and makes her heart swell so with pride that she fears it might burst.

Her eyes soften as she can feel her mouth stretch into a wide, beaming smile, the smile she reserves solely for her angel.

The blonde lowers her camera several inches, surprise evident in her brilliant green eyes even from this distance. Then she smiles too, one of those genuine, unguarded smiles Kate has only seen in rare moments when Victoria is caught off-guard or thinks no one is looking.

Seeing that smile makes Kate feel a way she hasn't often felt throughout her young life.

It’s a smile that makes Kate happy to be alive.

Victoria may never love Kate the way she wants. Kate may never be the kind of woman Victoria would find suitable for a partner. But as long as Kate can be near her, feel those blazing emerald eyes on her, and occasionally even see a smile like that one?

That can be enough. For however long Kate has left… that can be enough.

*****

**Thursday, September 12 th, 2013 – Girls' Dormitory: Rooftop**

She’s standing on the ledge, the cold rain matting her hair to her face as it soaks right through her clothes. She doesn’t feel the chill even as it makes her flesh shiver. The pain inside is too great to feel anything else at all.

She feels the burning pressure of her angel’s eyes on her. Scanning the crowd, she sees her. Something is obscuring her face, but in the final moments before Kate jumps, Victoria lowers it enough so that she can see those beautiful emerald eyes.

And then… she’s falling.

_‘Katie!!!’_

*****

**Girls' Dormitory: Kate’s Room**

Kate’s eyes open as she gasps herself awake, and it takes some time searching the dark, unfamiliar seeming room before she realizes where she is. She’s not in her room back home, with her nightlight on and her stuffed rabbit, Mr. Pipkin at her side. She’s eighteen now, in the Girl’s Dormitory at Blackwell Academy, room 220. Her room.

But, more importantly, the room right next door to Victoria’s.

She sits up on her well-worn blue couch, letting the quilt that covered her fall to the side. Kate doesn’t own Mr. Pipkin anymore, she and her father finally lost that battle with her mother after she turned fifteen, but now she has something even better. Lightly stepping over to the cage near her bed, she kneels down to open it and picks up Alice. Carrying her pet rabbit, a living, breathing one these days, back to the couch, Kate nestles back in with Alice snuggled to her chest.

Her bed is immaculately made and decently comfortable as dorm-issued beds go. But it’s on the wrong side of the room. Sleeping on the couch let’s Kate be that much closer to her angel.

The dream was the same as it has always been, save for the fact that since she’s arrived at Blackwell, since she’s realized who exactly her neighbor is, they’ve been more… _real_. Intense. The cold of the rain. The ache of her heart. The pain as she hits the ground.

Every time she has the dream it feels more real. And more inevitable. She knows that her time is coming soon.

A pair of tears pool in her eyes before beating a slow path down her cheeks. The dreams had always been comforting to her, in a macabre way. Even though they showed her how she was going to die, they also let her see her angel, hear her voice as she called her name. Thinking about her and the way she made her feel was one of the only things that made Kate feel like she didn’t _actually_ die a long while ago, that she wasn’t just some ghost haunting this world well past her time.

The visions of her angel made her feel alive. Loved. They drove a spear through the inexplicable sadness and loneliness she’d carried with her since even before the dreams started. She was the tether keeping Kate attached to this world, until it was time for God to call her home.

She welcomed the dreams before. Welcomed their comfort. Welcomed the surety that she would be called up to heaven, where she’d never feel hurt or lonely again.

But now? Now all she can think about is how, once her time comes at last, she’ll never see Victoria’s smile or feel those eyes on her again.

More tears make their way down the trails blazed by the first two as she gently picks at the wall separating her room from Victoria’s with one finger.

“I don’t want to go…” Kate’s voice cracks as she whispers to Alice. “I don’t want to leave her…”

But she will have to. She’s sworn before God so many times over the years that when the time comes, she’ll go to meet him with grace, love, and joy in her heart. She could never break that vow… she owes Him that much for letting her experience such miracles.

She just never expected God to actually make her angel real. Or that Him doing so would make what she will have to do so hard.

Alice only responds with a waggle of her cute pink nose. Kate kisses her on the head between her ears. She never was very talkative, but Alice has always made a great listener.

Kate looks at the wall, at the very spot where she assumes Victoria is sleeping in her own bed mere feet away. As she does, she gives the sleeping girl one last, tear-soaked whisper.

“I don’t want to leave you…”

*****

**September 20 th, 2013 - Vortex Club's Abstinence Ambush Aftermath**

Kate's chest heaves as the door slams shut behind a fleeing Victoria. She holds the bite of her lip long after the girl leaves, not trusting what her mouth would do if she wasn't otherwise keeping in check. Her eyes follow the sound of those retreating heel CLACKs all the way down the hall. Her heart is racing. Her mind is reeling.

She... won't even go into the effect that encounter is having on her _body_.

Victoria Maribeth Chase -- Kate's angel -- _wants_ her. Romantically. _Biblically_.

Victoria Maribeth Chase had _claimed_ her, _publicly_ , right there in front of all her closest friends. She’d taken what was just another humiliating Vortex Club experience at its finest and used it to turn Kate’s entire life upside down. She had been just moments away from running from Courtney and her cackling cronies, but then…

Then Victoria slapped her expensive looking black credit card on the table and gave Kate a look that planted her little behind right back down in her chair as if it had a mind of its own.

Her words were spoken in her standard condescending tone, the one she always used on her bullying targets. The one she’d used on Kate and her friends several times before. It was nonchalant, above-it-all, the Queen of Blackwell just having a laugh at her subject’s expense.

But her fiery emerald green eyes said something else entirely. They expressed compassion, yes, but also hunger, and a desire for... _ownership_. They said: _pay these cretins no mind… they can’t have you. They can’t touch you. You’re **mine**._

Matching wits with Victoria in the minutes that followed had been _exhilarating_. For once, Kate didn’t stutter, didn’t find herself at a loss for words or afraid to say the words she did have in mind. For a rare moment, someone rose to the Queen of Blackwell’s challenge and held their own as an equal despite being severely outnumbered by her assembled court. Heck, before Taylor’s phone went off Kate may have even been _winning_.

She couldn’t just let it go at that. She knew what she saw, but she had to KNOW know. So… as the rest of the Vortex crew left the classroom, she gave Victoria an out.

“What you said, about buying my _…”_

_Virginity Kate SHE WAS OFFERING TO **BUY** YOUR VIRGINITY OH MY **GOSH**! _

“…I know you’re not like that.”

“Oh _Katie_ …” Victoria said. Every time she used that name on her, the name she uses in Kate’s dreams, it sets her heart on fire. But to hear it used so licentiously had sent her scrambling backwards until she found herself pinned to the desk behind her with Victoria leaning right up to her ear.

“… a Chase _never_ bluffs.”

Victoria had looked at Kate before in ways that made her heart melt. Made the sun shine brighter. Made the birds sing just for her.

She had also given her looks that seemed inexplicably sad. Filled with shame, and remorse. Looks that made Kate’s heart just break for her.

But _this_ look of… of… of craven _lust_ awakened something within Kate that she didn’t know she had.

Over the years she had occasionally fantasized about having a romantic relationship with her angel. It only made sense, after all… she’d been in love with the girl that haunted her dreams since she was thirteen years old. But those fantasies had mostly involved holding hands. Close embraces. _Kissing_ , when she was feeling especially naughty. And even picturing _those_ things had been enough to make her blush so hard she feared she’d pass out.

But now… If Victoria hadn’t been shocked into retreat by the intensity with which Kate rose to meet her challenge, she’d have let the Queen of Blackwell take her right there on Mrs. Hoida’s desk. Or Kate would have taken _her_. Not that she knew what to _do_ with her, precisely, but... the image of her exquisitely nude form exiting the shower is still burned into her brain. So, she at least has some _ideas_.

Kate had accepted that Victoria would end up being with Max, or maybe even Taylor from some of the wistful, _familiar_ looks she'd seen the girl cast her friend's way on occasion. She had accepted her role of loving her angel from afar. She thought perhaps it would even be better that way, since... since Kate knows she's going to die.

However, if Victoria actually _wants_ her, even in some small way… didn’t that change everything?

Could she afford to _not_ take that chance?

*****

**Monday, September 23 rd, 2013 – Girls' Dormitory: 2nd Floor Hallway**

Kate checks the time on her phone. 4:20 pm. She’s certain Stella would have a joke at the ready if she were here right about now.

She taps her foot impatiently, sure she looks like a total weirdo standing in the hallway in front of the door to room 221, but she’s two minutes early. And she knows how much the room’s occupant loves precise punctuality. That time she heard Victoria tear Courtney a new one certainly served to drive that point home. Kate giggles at the thought, as it was the first and only time she’s ever managed to feel bad for Courtney Wagner.

It has been about three days since the eventful Vortex Club-attended Abstinence Awareness meeting. Specifically, it’s been 2 days, 23 hours and 48 minutes since Victoria Chase fled the room after the meeting’s conclusion… not that Kate has been counting or anything.

…

Ok, Kate is too honest to let even an unsaid fib slip past, so, yes, she has been counting. To be fair, her mind and her heart seemingly haven’t stopped racing since.

She’s been spending most of this time trying to work up the nerve to ask Victoria the question that’s been burning in her mind ever since that day. She’s actually come close a few times, sidling up to Victoria on the stairs, or waving as they pass each other in the hallway, or claiming the sink next to hers in the morning.

But each time Victoria gets this look on her face like… like she’s afraid of something. And so, she’ll turn around and walk in the opposite direction, or pretend she didn’t see Kate, or realize she suddenly had someplace else to be, quite urgently, and no it’s none of your business thank you very much. Never allowing Kate to get a word in edgewise.

It would have been adorable if Kate wasn’t so desperate for an answer. If she couldn’t feel with each passing moment how little time she has left.

Kate would have been willing to wait her entire life for her love to reach Victoria Chase’s heart, if she had that kind of time. But now it’s starting to seem like if she wants to take a chance at the kind of happiness she’s always thought would be impossible for someone like her, she has to act.

If Victoria wants to be with her, then… then… well, she doesn’t know what she’ll do, then. She doesn’t want to break her vow to God. She doesn’t even know if she _can_. But, at the very least, she’ll know that what time she has left will be the happiest of her short life.

And if she doesn’t… well, at least knowing that will make her time to go that much easier.

She finally built up the courage a few minutes ago to send Victoria a text to ask if they could talk, saying it was important.

At 4:12, Victoria told her to meet her here, in ten minutes. 

Kate checks her phone again and sighs. 4:21 pm. She pulls up the time app so that she can watch the seconds count upwards, raising her fist in preparation of knocking.

4:21:57

4:21:58

4:21:59

4:22:00

*****

Her knuckles have time to feel only the barest brush of wood before the door is flung open, and Victoria’s green eyes are staring back at her. She looks… nervous. Apprehensive, her breaths coming fast and shallow, her eyes darting this way and that. Her lips pressed into that pensive purse she does when she’s thinking about something, the one that makes Kate want to just lean forward and kiss them. She opens her mouth to say something, probably some variation of “what the frick do you want?” or a snide joke about religion, before closing it again with a click of her teeth.

“H-hi, Vic… Victoria.” Kate winces internally even as she smiles at the girl standing in front of her. _Of course_ the stutter would come back, on today of all days.

_We plan… God laughs._

“… can I come in?”

Victoria doesn’t move to let her pass, she just continues staring at Kate while chewing on the inside of her cheek. After a few moments she looks down the hall to the right, where pop music can be heard blaring from Dana’s open door, and then to the left. Her brow furrows with concern as she stares at Max’s door for a few seconds, before she suddenly grabs Kate’s hand and begins hurriedly leading her toward the stairwell without saying a word.

Kate blushes, absolutely flummoxed as she stares down at the perfect hand gripping tightly to hers, adorned with expertly manicured nails painted red to match her lipstick with flecks of gold sprinkled throughout. She’s sure that it’s just in her mind, but Kate can feel _heat_ coming from that hand as though she’d stuck her own in an oven, radiating up her arm and making her chest feel warm and tingly. She has no idea where Victoria is taking her but as long as she’s holding that hand…? Kate is _in_.

At least, she thinks she is, until Victoria is leading them up the stairs and straight through the roof access door.

“Umm, Vic-Victoria? I don’t think we’re supposed to be up here…” Being up here makes Kate understandably nervous, given her near daily dreams, but of course Victoria wouldn’t know that.

The girl looks back briefly to give her an annoyed eye-roll, before finally letting go of Kate’s hand and strutting off to stand a few feet from the raised stone ledge at the edge of the rooftop.

“Chill, _Inspector Javert_ , some of the girls come up here to smoke sometimes, it’s no big deal.” With that the girl is pulling a pack of cigarettes from her purse. “You mind?”

Kate shakes her head no as she comes to a stop a few feet away, not that her answer matters much as the short-haired blonde is already in the process of lighting one. Kate hopes that she can keep her nose from crinkling involuntarily as the shifting breeze sends a waft of smoke her way. She doesn’t like it when people smoke around her… she finds the smell to be gross, and of course there are the associated health risks involved.

But there’s something about the way Victoria’s lips seal around the filter, her green eyes rolling back just a bit as she takes her first drag, or the way those same lips part slightly as she exhales a long plume of smoke afterward. Her lipstick leaves a red smear on the filter as she withdraws the cigarette, her arm forming a V-shape as she holds it elegantly away from her between two slender fingers.

Yeah… much as Kate thinks it’s a filthy habit that she wishes the girl didn’t have, she could stand there and watch Victoria smoke all day long.

“Well?” Victoria finally snarks, glancing toward Kate for a moment. “What the fuck’s so important you had to drag me all the way up _here_ , Sister Mary Patrick?”

“But _you_ …” Kate complains, before stopping herself at the sight of the amused glimmer in those green eyes.

_No. She’s trying to get a rise out of me, throw me off so she has me at a disadvantage. Just... say what I came here to say._

Kate hesitates, her nerves suddenly shooting through the roof. She’d practiced what she wanted to say over and over in her mind throughout the day, hardly paying attention to any of her classes in the process. But now, with the girl of her dreams standing there in front of her and the sound of her own heartbeat pounding in her ears, she feels like the words are just disappearing from her head as though they were being blown away by the breeze right along with the smoke from Victoria’s cigarette.

Finally, clutching the cross that hangs from her neck for reassurance, Kate takes a deep breath and asks her first question.

“Are you and Max Caulfield… together?”

This seems to catch Victoria off-guard, her perfectly plucked eyebrows climbing up her forehead. Kate was hoping for that reaction, as it would increase the likelihood of actually getting an honest answer from the ever-dissembling girl.

“W-what?” Victoria stammers, before looking down and to her right. “We’re… not official or anything.”

Kate nods. “And… do you love her?”

That earns her a sharp, suspicious glare from those green eyes. Perhaps it’s the sincerity in Kate’s own that lead to Victoria replying.

“I… don’t know for sure. I feel like it’s maybe going that direction.”

“But you’re not there yet?”

Victoria huffs and rolls her eyes. “Why are you asking me all this shit about Caulfield? You want her number or something?” The girl gives Kate’s clothes a dismissive glance before continuing. “I can promise you’re not her type, she tends to go for something a little classier than thrift-store chic.”

She’s deflecting now, as is to be expected, but Kate doesn’t rise to the bait. If Victoria had unequivocally answered yes to any of the previous questions, she would have thanked her for her time and wished her a blessed day before walking back inside. It’s not like she’s a home-wrecker or anything, after all.

But Victoria didn’t, so Kate presses on… swallowing nervously before she continues.

“I-I ask, because… I want to know how you feel… About _me_.”

This definitely takes Victoria aback, as the girl quickly looks away, turning to raise her cigarette to her lips as she rubs at her arm with her free hand. She doesn’t meet Kate’s eyes as she responds.

“I think… you’re an annoying little holy-roller who just loves to flaunt how morally superior you are to all the rest of us sinners.”

It’s Kate’s turn to roll her eyes in exasperation. Getting anything real out of Victoria is like trying to extract a sip of water from one of those giant desert cacti with the huge thorns, but the cactus is also one of those inflatable dancing wind men you see flailing around outside car dealerships. Even if you _do_ manage to quench your thirst it’s nearly impossible to walk away unscathed.

“That’s not what I asked you, Victoria. How do you _feel_?”

Victoria continues to face away from her, standing there silently for a while before finally asking, the tightness of her throat evident in her voice:

“… Why?”

Kate is gripping her cross so tightly she’s sure it will leave an imprint on the flesh of her hand.

“Because… _I want to be with you_. And… and… and I really hope that you want to be with me, too.”

Victoria’s body visibly tenses at that, her shoulders seeming to hunch forward in an almost protective fashion.

“But… _why_? I’m a _bitch_. I’m mean, and a bully, and you’re… you’re _you_. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Does it have to make sense?” Kate pleads, unable to keep some of the desperation she feels from her voice. “Victoria… I honestly believe God sent me to you for a reason. That we’re meant to be together.”

The green-eyed girl finally turns back to laugh at Kate, her tone mocking and cruel and _very_ Victoria Chase. “ _Holy shit_ , I sure hope not. That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

She’s deflecting again, but they’ve ventured too close to the secret that makes up the core of Kate’s very identity for her words not to sting.

Kate crosses her arms, fighting to hold back the tears pricking at her eyes. “Victoria, please don’t make fun…”

“Why not?” the Queen of Blackwell continues sarcastically. “It’s funny as _fuck_. All this time I thought you were putting on this whole holier-than-thou choir girl act to get right with the Man Upstairs, but if He sent you here to date _me_? Girl, I’m sorry to say this, but He must not like you very much _at all._ ”

A trill of anger shoots through Kate for a moment, but it’s almost immediately replaced by the light of realization. Even though Victoria’s words are aimed at Kate, they’re carefully crafted in a way that she ultimately is only putting _herself_ down.

And that’s when she sees something hiding behind the mockery and disdain covering her face like a mask. She sees other emotions entirely. Real ones, this time. A sense of longing resides in those emerald eyes.

Kate decides, right then and there, that if Victoria wants to be with her… she won’t jump, when the time comes. She’ll suffer whatever the consequences to her immortal soul for refusing God’s call, but she won’t _ever_ leave her.

But longing isn’t the only thing she sees in those eyes. The emotion seems to be in a pitched battle with immense amounts of… of… shame. Shame and _fear._

“You’re… you’re _afraid_.”

Victoria takes an involuntary step backward, her eyes widening with shock. “D-don't pull that Professor X shit on me!” she spits, her voice coming out in an unconvincing near-whine. “B-bitch, I’m _Victoria Chase_. I’m not afraid of anything! Especially not some mousy little…”

“But you _are_!” Kate steps forward to follow, keeping her eyes locked on Victoria’s. “Why...? Are… are you afraid of me? Or… of _this_?” she motions her hand back and forth to indicate the invisible connection between the two of them.

Victoria just looks away, her lips pursed and jaw clenched tightly shut.

Kate takes another step closer. “I know you want me. I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

Victoria blushes. “Th… that’s just sexual…”

But Kate continues to close the distance between them, her gaze unwavering.

“I’ve seen the way you smile at me too. You can’t tell me it’s just about s- _sex_. So… why? Why are you so scared?”

Another long silence. 

"Victoria... why did you run from me the other day in Mrs. Hoida's class?"

The Blackwell Queen barks another laugh, then, but this one is less cruel than the last. This one is... resigned. Self-deprecating. 

"That's the million-dollar question isn't it?" She raises her cigarette again for a quick, anxious pull. "'A Chase never bluffs!' 'If there's something I want, I take it!'. Yeah, big fucking talk, but do I back it up? Hell no! Not when it counts, I guess."

"I mean, you're _hot_. And you were clearly willing, so... why _did_ I run, Kate? Believe me I've been asking myself the same thing all week."

Kate blushes at being referred to as "hot" and "willing", though Lord knows she can't argue with the second one. Still, concern pushes those thoughts away as Victoria's voice steadily rises in pitch and volume, and her eyes start shifting around rapidly as if she expects enemies to come from all sides. She doesn't seem to know what to do with her unoccupied hand... if she's not gesturing wildly, she's running it through her hair or shakily picking at her clothes.

Kate has seen her like this a couple of times, when the girl seemed to be having an especially bad or stressful day. Stella calls it "Rage-mode". Alyssa and a few others have said things like "Watch out, _Bitch-toria_ 's on the warpath again." The consensus among students, even for many of the Vortex Club members, is that now is the time to stay out of her way if you know what's good for you.

But all Kate has ever wanted to do during these times is hold Victoria close and tell her that everything will be alright. Because when she looks into those wild eyes she doesn't see a bitch, or a bully, or a mean-girl. She sees anxiety. Insecurity. And so, _so_ much pain buried just beneath the surface.

Where others see a spoiled brat having a tantrum, Kate sees a child who just needs reassurance that she is seen. That she is heard. That she is _loved_.

But she gets the sense that reaching out to her right now is not what Victoria needs, that it wouldn't turn out well for either of them. What she needs is for Kate to listen, and so she does. As much as it breaks her heart to do it, she keeps her thoughts and her hands to herself.

"So, you wanna talk about how I _feel_ , Kate?! Then why don't _YOU_ tell _ME_ why it is that looking at you sometimes makes me feel so sad I want to just curl up in a ball and cry? Or so _guilty_ that I hate myself even more than I always do? Because, normally I get to enjoy waiting until _AFTER_ I fuck someone over before I feel like a piece of shit, but I guess that's just not good enough when it comes to Kate fucking Marsh, is it? So, tell me Katie, do _you_ know why I feel like this?!"

Kate can't help but reach for her, now, because some of the things Victoria is saying are, quite honestly, _scaring_ her. "Victoria, I _don't_ understand, but we can..."

" _IT'S BECAUSE I'LL HURT YOU, OK_!?!" she nearly screams, batting Kate's hands away as a pair of tears escape her eyes. "It's the only thing that makes any _fucking_ sense! I just _know,_ somehow, that… that _someone like me_ can only ever hurt someone like you. And I don’t want that. You don’t deserve that.

“Victoria… I’m-I’m a big girl, ok? I can make my own choices. And even if you’ve hurt people before, that’s not who you _are_ —"

“It’s _EXACTLY_ who I am! It’s all I ever do! And if you don’t see that… then you don’t know me _at all.”_

“ _NO!!!_ ” Kate shouts back, her own tears beginning to fall as she refuses to back down. “I won’t let you talk about yourself like this! I wish I could make you see yourself the way I do…”

She gazes deeply into Victoria’s eyes, hoping she can see the passion and sincerity in her own.

“Victoria, I’m in lo—”

“Don’t say that!” Victoria growls, though Kate can hear the pleading whine in her voice as the blonde fiercely shakes her head. “Don’t you dare fucking say that!”

Kate takes several deep, ragged breaths. Tears stream down her face as her hands clench and unclench of their own accord.

Yes, Victoria can hurt her. She knows that of anyone in this world, Victoria could probably hurt her most of all. But at the same time…

“I don’t _care_.”

Victoria’s eyes go wide with confusion, before she incredulously asks “… _what?!_ ”

Kate raises her chin defiantly, staring the girl right in those green eyes.

“I don’t _care_ if you hurt me. It doesn’t matter. I want to be with you, no matter what.”

And Kate means it. Victoria is _her angel._ She would suffer any amount of pain, any injury necessary to be with her, especially considering how little time they might have left. But as a range of emotions pass through Victoria’s face in the wake of her honesty, Kate suspects she’s made a mistake. When they at last settle on one, she’s sure of it.

Rage. Victoria’s face turns hard and cold, her lips pressed together so tightly that they’re nearly invisible. Her free hand is balled into a tight fist at her side. Kate’s mouth grows dry, and her throat tightens. It’s all she can do not to turn away from the face of Victoria’s fury. Finally, she musters the courage to speak.

“Victoria, I’m—”

“I’m sorry, Kate.” Victoria cuts her off coldly, her jaw quivering as she speaks, and her hand shakes as she takes a final, angry drag from her cigarette. “I can’t be what you want me to be.”

With that, she flicks the smoldering butt over the stone barrier on the roof’s ledge as she turns for the stairwell door. She doesn’t look back as she says “I hope you find someone who can.”

When her hand touches the door handle, she pauses to add:

“… Someone better than _me_.”

Kate’s heart sinks through the floor. She shakes her head to deny Victoria’s words.

_How? How could I possibly find anyone that I could love more than this?_

She wants to shout these words at Victoria. To run and grab her and shake her and force her to listen. But she won’t. She has her answer. She has to respect it, no matter how much it hurts.

She was… she was stupid to think that someone like her ever even had a chance.

As the stairwell door swings shut behind the girl of her dreams, Kate can’t wrench her eyes from the cigarette as it tumbles through the air, end over end, until finally colliding with the sidewalk below in a brief flash of orange embers.

That particular spot it landed on is, of course, extremely familiar to Kate. It’s something she’s seen hundreds of times in her dreams, and looking at it now, from this angle?

She knows that she’s staring at the exact spot she’s going to die.

It’s a sign. One of those tiny little signs, the kind that Moses could have easily missed before God sent him an angel in the form of the burning bush.

_We plan… God laughs._

She would have been willing to wait forever for Victoria Chase to return her love. Or, failing that, could have happily spent her entire life loving her from afar.

Unfortunately, she just doesn't have that kind of time.

*****

**Tuesday, September 24 th, 2013 – Girls' Dormitory: Rooftop**

She’s standing on the ledge, the cold rain matting her hair to her face as it soaks right through her clothes. She doesn’t feel the chill even as it makes her flesh shiver. The pain inside is too great to feel anything else at all.

She feels the burning pressure of her angel’s eyes on her. Scanning the crowd, she sees her. Something is obscuring her face, but in the final moments before Kate jumps, Victoria lowers it enough so that she can see those beautiful emerald eyes.

And then… and then…

She hesitates.

Every muscle in her body, every fiber of her being is screaming at her to take that one. last. step.

One last step.

It will all be over… it will never hurt again.

One last step.

But staring into Victoria’s eyes, with Victoria staring back at her… she hesitates.

A change passes over her angel’s face as they’re caught by each other’s gaze. At first, she seemed to be viewing Kate with a sort of… passive disbelief. Like it was all some big joke, just Kate Beverly Marsh being dramatic again.

But as they stand there, rain soaking through the both of them, Victoria’s expression shifts. First, it’s shock… then realization. Then horror. She starts shaking her head, _NO_ , her mouth contorting into a pained grimace, her eyes filling with regret and guilt and unshed tears.

Just… one last step and Kate won’t… she won’t ever…

Victoria shakes her head again. Her mouth forming the words _‘No, no, Katie, don’t, please, I’m sorry-’_

Just one last step and Kate won’t ever see Victoria smile again.

…

Kate is shaking her head now, too.

“I don’t…” Kate whispers. “I don’t want to leave you…”

Victoria’s pleading eyes never leave her, even as her shaking legs give way beneath her and she falls to her knees in the grass and mud.

“I don’t want to leave you!!!” Kate shouts.

She steps backwards, clambering down to the safety of the roof a foot below her.

_‘Katie…?!’_

Kate spins around and Victoria is there, on the roof with her now, standing over by the stairwell door. Her hair and face are soaked, her make-up running, her knees and tights covered in mud and grass.

She’s _perfect_.

Victoria is crying still, but now she’s smiling through her tears. She holds out her arms to Kate, inviting her in.

Kate sobs, her heart soaring with happiness. She runs to her angel.

But after she takes just one step… she’s falling again.

This time, she’s not falling from the roof of the Girl’s Dormitory at Blackwell Academy.

The dorm doesn’t exist.

_Blackwell_ doesn’t exist.

_Kate doesn’t exist_.

She’s falling through a void of blinding white light, her formless body buffeted by winds as the sounds of an unseen storm rages around her. She is assaulted by strange, unfamiliar images as she falls, most going by so fast she can’t even identify them.

But those she _can_ see fill her soul with terror.

_Snow falling over Arcadia Bay._

_Victoria weeping into her hands on the floor of her room, as a shadow looms over her from her open door._

_The golden evening sun being devoured by inky darkness._

_The corpses of whales lining the beach after having been washed ashore._

_Strobing lights and the press of bodies surrounding the Blackwell swimming pool._

_Two moons hanging in the clear night sky, like a pair of watching, accusatory eyes._

Kate’s consciousness continues to fall through this bright white void until she finally, weightlessly lands next to one final vision. The most horrifying of them all.

_Victoria lying prone on a cold stone floor, surrounded by the same harsh light, her hands and feet bound tightly by thick restraints._

Kate wants to run to Victoria but she has no legs to carry her. She wants to embrace Victoria but she has no arms to hold her. She wants to cry out to Victoria but she has no mouth to scream for her.

_Victoria stares at_ Kate _as she weeps, her eyes filled with the same panic_ Kate _feels._

_‘Please don’t hate me…’_ _she pleads._

_‘Please don’t let me die in here…’_

*****

**Girls' Dormitory: Kate’s Room**

Kate wakes with a start, tears streaming down her face. Her throat constricts with the effort to take a single, strangled gasp of breath, the cold grip of panic clutching her insides like a vice. Like something heavy laying across her chest, refusing to allow her lungs to expand as they should.

This was once a familiar feeling for the girl, back when her nightmares were new and terrifying and incomprehensible to her young mind. But over time the feeling had faded, due to both the familiarity of the dream itself and the comfort she gleaned from seeing her angel.

But this time… for the first time… the dream was _different_. She wasn’t just a passenger in some other Kate’s, some _future Kate’s_ body and mind. She was able to think her own thoughts. She was able to take control.

She was able to stop herself from jumping. And then…

And then the dream truly became a _nightmare_.

She would jump off that roof a million times, feel the pain of dying a million times, if it meant she would never have to see Victoria terrified and weeping and pleading for her life like that again.

Kate’s mind is racing. She still can barely breathe. Her heart jack-hammers in her ears.

She reaches for her phone next to the couch. The lock screen reads 3:00 AM.

Three like the holy trinity.

Three like the number of times she was supposed to die in her dream before she fucked it all up.

The phone unlocks, and the last song she was listening to blares tinny through the speaker. _True Faith_.

**_‘That's the price that we all pay…’  
‘And the value of destiny comes to nothing.’_ **

Kate hurls her phone across the room, the collision with the wall over her bed silencing it.

In a panic, Kate scrambles off the couch and over to the cage near her bed. She doesn’t have Mr. Pipkin anymore, so Alice will have to take his place as always. She hugs the poor creature tightly as she sobs into her soft fur.

She wants it to not be real. She prays for it to be just a nightmare. But deep down, Kate can feel it. An unshakeable, growing sense of dread and horror.

Victoria is in danger. And it is _Kate’s fault._

She’s been destined to die since she was thirteen years old. She’s accepted it all these years… until being so close to Victoria, seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, feeling the heat of her gaze… made her selfish. Made her prideful. Made her think she can fight against God’s will.

God just showed her the price for such an egregious sin.

Kate knows she doesn’t have a future… but Victoria? She’ll be a famous photographer. Her art will touch people’s lives. She’ll travel the world and eat and drink and laugh and dance and marry Max, or someone else, or never settle down at all. She’ll have a baby or ten or just an adorable little orange tabby kitten. Her life will be _amazing_.

Kate’s life could never be worth that. _Never._

Kate would die a million times to keep her angel safe, if that’s what it takes.

There on her knees with Alice in her arms, Kate prays. For how long she doesn’t even know. She prays, and weeps, and pleads for forgiveness.

“Please forgive me… _Please_.”

“I’ll go. When it’s my time I swear I’ll go. Just please keep her safe.”

“I’ll do anything You ask of me.”

_“Anything.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, firstly, this is part 1 of a 2-part, 16,000 + word mega-chapter. Sorry for the delay in updating, but I really wanted to make sure that Kate really got her chance to shine in this one, and it took me some time to find her voice. There may or may not have been a few bouts of "oh god, this is shit, what am I even doing???" scattered around in there as well. ;)
> 
> Part two is in the process of being finalized and edited, so it should be out in the next few days. It will feature Kate's perspective of the week up to and including the End of the World party, and the resolution of the cliffhanger from Chapter 7.
> 
> Also: let me know how you all like the Location headers. If they are helpful I may go back and add them to previous chapters.
> 
> Also also: No song lyrics this time, since this is a two-parter. They will show up in next episodes notes!
> 
> Also also also: I want to sincerely thank everyone who has provided their support via comments and kudos. I honestly had no idea that this fic would get as much attention as it did... I was mainly just using it as a platform to crap out all the ideas bouncing around in my head. Tbqh, it's actually a little nerve-wracking knowing that people are enjoying this work because I worry that I won't be able to do it justice in the end, but I will give it my best try regardless.


	9. Tether (Part 2): Saying It's Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate fears that the End is nigh... but will it be her end, or Victoria's?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for suicidal ideation and a near attempt

**Monday, September 30 th, 2013 – Blackwell Academy: Hallway**

Kate’s reddened eyes are downcast as she walks down the hallway after leaving Mrs. Grant’s Chemistry class. She looks up only to avoid plowing into other students as they hustle and bustle from one class to another.

Music blares through her headphones. Not _True Faith..._ she removed that from her playlist the moment she got brave enough to unlock her phone. Despite the pleasant memories of her first meeting with Victoria, she’ll probably never listen to that song again.

_Victoria weeping under the harsh white lights, her hands and feet bound tightly by thick restraints._

It has been three days since Kate’s nightmare. Specifically, the one where Victoria was in danger… the one where Kate’s selfishness _put_ Victoria in danger. She has been absolutely beside herself with shame and guilt ever since.

She’s dreamt of being on the roof of the Girl’s Dormitory twice more since then. Both times, she felt that same sensation of being in control of her body. Both times, it felt like God was making her choose. Herself… or Victoria.

Both times she jumped without hesitation. She didn’t even look for Victoria in the crowd like she always did in her dreams… she was afraid to take the risk, afraid of how seeing that face and those eyes would make her feel. She just closed her eyes and jumped, keeping them tightly shut all the way down.

She desperately wants that to be the end of it. For the nightmare she experienced early Friday morning to just be a plain old bad dream brought on by the crushing disappointment she felt after confessing her feelings to Victoria, and being rejected.

Or, if it was truly a vision, if it was indeed a punishment brought on by Kate’s rejection of her destiny, that it would be averted by Kate’s willingness to leave this world when the time comes.

But… as these past three days have dragged on, that nagging sense of dread remained foremost in her mind.

What if… what if Kate _already_ failed her test of faith, by refusing to die in her dream? What if God _wasn't_ planning to give her an opportunity to redeem herself? After all, the feeling of terror and those horrible images haven't left her mind, despite Kate having jumped twice more since. What if Victoria was already paying the price for Kate's disobedience, and there is nothing Kate can do to stop it?

_What if what if what if???_

Kate wants to warn Victoria… but what would she say? That she had a dream that some vague but terrible fate was going to befall her? Oh, and by the way, she’s been having dreams about her own suicide since she was thirteen years old, and Victoria is in those too, so if Kate has seemed a bit obsessed lately that’s why?

Victoria would never believe her. She would think Kate was crazy.

And maybe… maybe Kate _is_ going crazy. Because it feels like every time she closes her eyes, she sees Victoria bound and weeping under those harsh white lights. Every time she doesn’t have something else to drown out the silence, she can hear Victoria’s voice begging Kate to save her.

_‘Please don’t hate me…_

_Please don’t let me die in here…’_

Kate could never imagine herself hating Victoria. And she _won’t_ let her die, no matter what.

So, since Kate can’t warn Victoria about the dream, and she has no idea what form the threat to her angel’s life might take… she watches her.

It’s easy enough as long as Victoria stays on campus... she lives right next door to Kate, and watching Victoria was one of her favorite things to do even before she felt a paranoid, vision-induced urge to do so. She has the girl’s class schedule pretty well memorized at this point.

That’s why Kate is heading for the doors that exit out to the courtyard, where she can take a seat at the fountain in full view of the pool building. At this time of day, Victoria will be changing after class in the locker room that is designated for P.E. students and those taking post-swim showers.

Kate will wait for Victoria to leave the building, then keep an eye on her until she is safely on to her next class, or back in her dorm room. Kate will watch the girl from afar and make _sure_ nothing happens.

At least, that _was_ the plan. Right up until a newly hung flyer on the noticeboard across from the vending machines catches Kate’s eye.

**10-10-13**

**Thursday Night**

**END OF THE**

**WORLD PARTY**

**BLACKWELL**

**SWIMMING**

**POOL**

_Strobing lights and the press of bodies surrounding the Blackwell swimming pool._

Kate’s heart seems to stop beating in her chest as a kind of panic she’s never experienced before overwhelms her mind. Her bag and books slip from her hands, and her headphones are yanked from her ears as her phone they’re attached to follows to clatter onto the hallway floor.

Deep down in her very soul, Kate knows what this is. It’s a sign from God that her visions are _real_. There’s going to be a party at the Blackwell pool in less than two weeks-time, just like she dreamt. And Victoria is going to _die_.

Because… what else could the “End of the World” mean, for Kate? Victoria _is_ her entire world. Victoria is her _everything_.

_‘Please don’t hate me…_

_Please don’t let me die in here…’_

Something comes over her, then, as the thought that _Victoria is in danger, Victoria is going to die_ play over and over again in her mind. All notion of how she can’t warn Victoria, how she’ll never be believed, flies out of her brain. Her capacity for reasoned, logical thought goes right along with it.

She has to find her. She has to protect her. She has to _save_ her.

She doesn’t even remember running all the way to the pool building. It’s as though one second she’s standing in front of that flyer near the vending machines, and the next she’s skidding around the corner into the girl’s locker-room, her eyes instantly fixating on Victoria as she’s finishing up buttoning her blouse while chatting and laughing with her friends.

Everything is a blur as Kate runs right up to the short-haired blonde, ignoring the girl's shocked spluttering as she grabs her arm. She’s in such a state of panic that she doesn’t even know what she’s saying, the rambling words just seem to tumble out of her mouth as she tries to drag Victoria away from this building, away from the swimming pool. Kate is vaguely aware that she is begging Victoria to come with her. Pleading with her to listen. To believe Kate that she is in danger. She has to get away from the pool. Stay away from the party. She has to come with her so Kate can keep her safe.

_Victoria weeping under the harsh white lights._

Victoria, of course, doesn’t budge. The aghast, mortified expression on her face tells Kate that the girl absolutely does _not_ believe her, and certainly isn’t about to go _anywhere_ with her. Especially not with so many eyes being drawn in their direction as Kate’s anxiety drives her to making an ever-greater scene. Among those eyes are many of their classmates… Courtney, Taylor. Dana and Juliet.

Max Caulfield.

Victoria seems particularly aware of Max’s eyes watching them, glimmering with that same cool amusement that always seems to reside within them… like whatever’s going on in front of her is just the funniest thing she’s ever seen.

Perhaps that’s why, after hissing at Kate to calm down, after growling at her to leave her alone, after warning her to let her go or else… Victoria _pushes_ Kate away. Pushes her hard enough to send Kate tumbling into a bank of lockers, her back and head colliding into the metal with a loud _BANG_.

“Get away from me you fucking freak!” she screeches, her voice full of fury and humiliation.

_'Please don’t hate me…'_

Kate could _never_ hate her... she doesn’t even think Victoria meant to push her as hard as she did. Not really. Much later, when her capacity for rational thought has returned, Kate will understand why Victoria is so upset. She won’t be able to blame her for it at all.

At best, Kate sounds like a desperate little girl making up wild stories because she can't handle being rejected. At worst, she is a total lunatic.

But as she slides to the floor in a heap, Kate sees something else in Victoria’s eyes. There is anger and shame there, yes, but also concern. Concern mixed with regret and… _resignation_.

Those emerald eyes seem to say:

_Do you see now, Katie?_

_I told you I would hurt you._

_That’s all I’m fucking good for._

Stunned as she is from the impact, Kate still tries to scramble up onto her knees to beg Victoria once more, but by now Taylor and Courtney have placed themselves in front of the Blackwell Queen, looking for all the world like hounds leaping in to protect their master. Looming with their arms crossed like a couple of nightclub bouncers, the pair sneeringly hurl all manner of invectives her way. “Crazy.” “Creepy.” “Psycho.” Along with things that Kate can’t repeat, even to herself.

But Kate barely registers them. She doesn’t care about the insults, or the way the other girls in the room stand by in various states of shock or unease, shaking their heads and whispering to each other while watching the scene unfold before them.

“Enough!” Victoria finally snarls, shutting her locker door with a loud _SLAM_ before having to shut it again after the force of the first attempt pops the door back open. Kate isn’t sure if it’s the bite in the girl’s voice or the sound of the door, but the startled girls instantly obey.

Victoria doesn’t look at Kate as she grabs her things and storms out, heels clacking all the way.

_'... Don’t hate me…'_

Taylor and Courtney hurry along after her, but not before giving Kate a pair of warning and withering glares, respectively. Max’s eyes follow the retreating Victoria, then turn back to give Kate a long, appraising look. Finally she shakes her head and smirks before moving to follow the others. 

_'... Don’t let me die in here…’_

Kate refuses an offer from Juliet to help her to her feet, preferring instead to curl in on herself with her back against the lockers and face in her knees to hide tears of fear and frustration. When Dana offers to walk her to the nurse’s office, she doesn’t even try to hide the misery in her voice when she asks to just be left alone.

'- _Don’t let me die Don’t let me die Don’t let me die Don’t let me die Don’t let me die Don’t let me die-'_

She doesn’t know how long she sits there, inconsolable, save that by the time she finally looks up again the locker room is empty.

It is as she is moving to shakily stand up that something catches her eye... a small, colorful rectangle hidden on the floor, under the benches. Crawling over to inspect it, she realizes that it's a picture of Victoria, smiling sweetly and eyes glimmering at the camera. She figures it must have slipped from the girl’s locker, unnoticed in her haste to leave.

' _DontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedieDontletmedie-'_

Kate gingerly, reverently picks up the picture.

_..._

As she gazes longingly into her angel's eyes, the noise permeating her mind just... _stops_.

It nearly causes her to sob with relief.

Kate doesn’t remember leaving the locker room. She doesn’t even remember walking to the Girls' Dorm after that, staring blankly as though in a trance the whole way there. All she knows is that when the door to her room closes behind her and she flumps down onto her couch, that picture is still in her hand.

She knows she should return it. She should go back and slide it into Victoria’s locker or slip it under the door to her room. But as she stares at those eyes she loves so much, and at that sweet, innocent smile… all Kate can think about is how badly she has messed everything up, as usual. How her angel will probably never smile at her like that again. And how doing so is the only thing that seems to quiet her tortured mind.

She sits and stares at that picture until long after classes end for the day and people start filtering back into the dorms. Until long after Alyssa’s knocking goes unanswered, and Kate’s things she’d left behind in the school hallway are piled up in front of her door.

Kate gently runs her thumb across the tiny, two-dimensional Victoria's lightly tanned cheek.

"I _won't_ let you die...” She whispers. “No matter what."

*****

**Monday, October 7 th, 2013 - Girls' Dormitory: Kate's Room**

Kate realizes that she is a mess. She's barely slept in the past several days, and when she does it's fitful and restless, huddled in a blanket with her ear pressed to the door, or to the wall separating her room from Victoria's, until exhaustion finally claims her. She does this partially in the hope that if anyone comes for Victoria in the night, Kate will hear it and be able to intervene.

And partially because she doesn’t want to dream anymore, doesn’t want to have to make that same choice over and over and over again. Doesn’t want to risk messing up and seeing Victoria bound and afraid again… because, she fears, that truly _would_ drive her mad.

She’s gotten so tired of seeing the ever-deepening bags under her eyes that she’s covered the mirror in her room. Not that she has been able to put all that much energy into her appearance regardless… most of her clothes are wrinkled, and her long hair is tangled and frayed from lack of brushing as she should. Kate just doesn’t see the point. Her death is coming soon, she can feel it approaching closer every single day. All that matters is keeping Victoria safe between now and then.

Kate has found that she can’t play violin anymore, as she simply doesn’t feel the music in her heart. Every note she draws with her bow comes out shrill and discordant. She gave up on reading even her favorite books after realizing that she wasn’t absorbing a single word despite reading the same paragraph over and over again. She can’t draw, because she can’t hold a single image in her mind for very long that isn’t her own death or Victoria struggling under those harsh lights.

Nor has she managed to spend much time with her friends… not that she had that many to begin with. Kate can’t stand the look of disgust she sees on Alyssa’s face when the two of them are together, because Kate can barely bring herself to talk about anything but Victoria. She can barely bring herself to _think_ about anything other than Victoria.

And much of Stella’s extremely limited free time outside of working and studying has been spent with Warren lately, which Kate would never want to get in the way of. It’s also much easier for Kate to not have to see the look of worry in the girl’s eyes, or dread the moment when she finally asks the unsaid questions that linger between them, regarding the rumors that have been going around about Kate’s recent behavior.

What could Kate even say? That she's _not_ obsessed with Victoria, _not_ following her around and watching her every chance she gets? She can't lie about it, and no one would believe the truth. So, best to avoid that conversation altogether.

At least when Victoria is in her room, Kate can relax... to an extent. She can snuggle with her Alice. She can stare at the picture of her angel. She can daydream about a world where she is good enough to be with someone like her. Where she didn’t mess everything up all the time. Where someone like Kate is worthy of being loved.

Daydreaming is what she is currently doing at the moment, with the drone of quiet voices next door providing the only source of background noise. Her attention is eventually drawn from gazing longingly at her picture, however, when the voices start to fade, only to be replaced by… _something else_.

It starts with a shuffling sound, slow at first but steadily increasing in speed and intensity. Then there’s a thump on the wall, followed by low, throaty giggles. By the time Kate realizes exactly what is going on it’s too late to scramble for her headphones, as she can already hear a none-too-quiet moan of pleasure, one that can only belong to Victoria herself.

Kate fantasized dozens of times about hearing what Victoria sounded like in the throes of passion. Now she knows for sure, but only because those sounds are being brought on by _someone else_.

If who was making love to her angel was even a question in Kate’s mind, Victoria’s voice crying out “ _Maxine!!!_ ” quite conclusively answers it as Kate flees from her room, flees from her hall, flees from the sound of her own heart shattering.

She doesn’t stop running until she has pushed through the stairwell door and onto the roof, where she finally falls to her hands and knees. Her pain begins to flow out of her in short, rapid-fire bursts of air before evolving into full blown sobs, her tears splattering against her hands and the stone surface beneath them like rain. She shakes her head uselessly as though she could deny what she just heard, but she knows she can’t.

Kate told herself that she’d be happy for Victoria even if she managed to find her own happiness with someone else. And she meant it, at the time… she truly _believed_ it. But she didn’t know how bad it would feel to have her belief tested. She didn’t know it would make her throat constrict so tightly she can barely breathe, or make her chest hurt so much that she feels like she’s dying.

Part of her wouldn't care if she _was_ dying right now. It would make everything so much easier.

…

So mired is she in her misery that Kate almost doesn't notice the feeling of something cold and wet caressing the skin of her left arm. At first, she thinks it’s another of her tears... but then she feels it again on the opposite arm, and once again on the back of her neck. It takes her quite some time after looking up to recognize the plump, white flakes that are slowly floating down from the sky above, catching the golden evening sunlight as they fall. When Kate does finally realize what’s going on, the fear that bubbles up inside of her quickly grows to rival her desolation.

_Snow falls over Arcadia Bay_

It’s _snowing_. On the first week of October, on a nearly 80 **°** day without a cloud in the sky. It’s snowing over Arcadia Bay, just like she saw in her nightmare. The first herald of those terrible visions.

Kate rushes forward to peer over the roof’s edge and down into the courtyard below. Though she can see the snow falling all around them, no one else seems to be paying it any mind. Alyssa is reading a book on her favorite bench. Brooke is flying her drone. Zach and Logan are tossing a football around. No one can see the… the _horrifying_ miracle happening around them. No one but Kate.

It can only mean one thing.

Time is nearly up. Either for herself... Or for Victoria.

Either way, the end of Kate's world is coming.

*****

**Tuesday, October 8 th, 2013 - Blackwell Academy: Hallway**

Kate doesn't step foot in Mark Jefferson’s photography class today.

Which is highly unusual for the girl. Especially considering the fact that it is one of the only classes she shares with Victoria Chase. And one of the only times in the past couple of weeks she can be near her angel. Where she can see Victoria without following her around. Without… without _stalking_ her.

It is also one of the only classes where she can dedicate any amount of concentration on the teacher’s lessons. Where she can fit anything else into her mind that isn’t soul-rending paranoia over what could be happening to Victoria while she's out of Kate's sight, while she can’t protect her. Where she can close her eyes for a few minutes and just breathe, secure in the knowledge that her angel is safe.

So, yes… skipping photography class is highly unusual for Kate Beverly Marsh. But… today isn’t a “usual” kind of day, is it?

Maybe it's the peal of thunder alerting her to the fact that it’s raining outside as she approaches, or the strange sense of déjà vu she experiences at seeing Jefferson standing outside his classroom door, talking on his cellphone in hushed tones.

Maybe it’s seeing Victoria, seated alongside Nathan atop Max Caulfield’s desk as the three of them chat and laugh together, her angel wearing the same red and gold outfit from her dreams.

Or maybe it’s just seeing her with Max at all, after the heartbreak Kate felt yesterday.

Either way, something sends her fleeing from Jefferson’s room, fleeing until she pushes open the doors of the main entrance and out into the rain.

She isn’t consciously aware of where her steps are taking her as she walks through the courtyard, rain soaking her to the bone through her already sodden clothes. It's as though she’s on auto-pilot as she enters the first-floor stairwell of the Girls' Dormitory and begins to climb.

It’s only when the door is swinging shut behind her, and she finds herself on the roof for the second time in as many days that she realizes where she is… or, more importantly, _why_ she’s here.

She has seen this hundreds of times before. Hundreds of times in her dreams has she been standing upon this very roof, beneath a sky so familiar she knows every swirl of every gray cloud above her by heart, with the wind and rain and the deepest of sadness chilling her to her very core. Fear of the physical pain that is to come giving way to the resignation that this is what _must_ happen, this is how she _must_ end.

Kate stares at the ledge she will soon climb onto before falling for the very last time. Her time is up. The day she’s dreamt of since she was thirteen years old is finally here.

…

She wants to do this, Kate tells herself as she takes her first step toward the ledge.

She has been so, _so_ tired for so, _so_ long. Tired of crying herself to sleep… over Victoria, or her mother, or sometimes for no reason at all. Tired of feeling defective. Sinful. Lesser than. Unworthy of love and affection. Tired of feeling like an outsider, even amongst her family, her church, and what precious few friends she somehow managed to make. Tired of feeling like she doesn’t belong in this world.

She is sworn to this, Kate reminds herself as she continues to take slow, sure steps forward, soon passing the halfway point between the access door and the roof’s edge.

It is a promise she made to God years ago, that she would accept the fate prescribed to her in the visions He granted. The visions that foretold her death, yes, but which also gave Kate her _angel_. The spear that drove through the inexplicable sadness and loneliness she’d carried with her all these years. The tether keeping Kate attached to this world, until it was time for God to call her home.

She _must_ do this, Kate admonishes herself. To keep Victoria safe.

God tested her faith weeks ago in her dream… and showed her the consequences for failing that test. Victoria’s life for Kate’s. That trade wasn’t worth it, could never be worth it. But God, in His grace and wisdom, was giving her another chance... she had to believe that. This time she will _not_ fail her angel.

Kate is mere feet away, now, the cold rain matting her hair to her face as it soaks right through her clothes. She doesn’t feel the chill, even as it makes her flesh shiver. The pain inside is too great to feel anything else at all.

…

No... that's not true. Kate _does_ feel something other than the pain. Something that was missing in the dreams she’s experienced all these years where that other Kate, that _future_ Kate, approached this very ledge full in the knowledge that she had nothing left to live for.

_This_ Kate still has the love she carries for Victoria. The love that makes her heart soar and her stomach flutter every time she thinks about her. That invisible tether that has kept her connected to this world all these years, despite having been frayed and drawn thin over events of the past two weeks, still remains.

One thing she refuses to do is linger on top of the ledge until a crowd is drawn to the quad beneath her. Until _Victoria_ is drawn there. Because Kate doesn't want to _do that_ to her, to see the shock in her eyes or hear the heartbreak in her voice as she falls. She doesn't want her death to cause Victoria any more pain.

Kate decided weeks ago that when her time came, she would simply go up and over in a flash. 

And so, despite still feeling that _pull_ , as though gravity itself is attempting to drag her over the roof’s edge, she comes to a stop. Just outside of arm’s reach of the ledge that she will soon climb for the very last time, Kate closes her eyes... and says goodbye.

She imagines her angel's arms encircling her from behind, wrapping her in the warm kind of embrace that Kate has always longed for, but has only been able to experience in her daydreams. She imagines Victoria's breath tickling her ear as she leans in close to whisper " _Katie..._ ", her voice full of love, and reassurance. Full of promise that everything will be ok after she's gone, that she will go on to live the amazing life Kate envisioned for her.

Kate can almost feel the curves of the girl's perfect body as she leans back into the embrace, tilting her face to the sky and her ear closer to Victoria's mouth. It is impossible to tell where the tears end and the rain begins as she returns a whisper of her own.

"Goodbye, my love. I will always be with you... _always_."

Victoria never came to love Kate the way she wanted. Kate never got the chance to become the kind of woman Victoria would find suitable for a partner.

But to have been so near to her angel, as Kate has been this past month? To have felt those blazing emerald eyes on her? And to have occasionally caught a glimpse of that sweet, unguarded smile... the one that made Kate happy to be alive, just for the opportunity to bear witness to it?

That was enough. She wouldn't trade this month of having Victoria in her life for a hundred years without her. For Kate, that truly was enough.

With a final, quavering breath, Kate takes that final step to close the distance between herself and the ledge.

...

At least, that was what she would have done, if she could bring herself to move at all.

She _wills_ herself to move, to take that next step. Her muscles shake with the effort of it.

But her angel's ghostly arms refuse to release her.

This time it isn't her love for Victoria that is holding her back, Kate realizes as those imaginary arms begin to squeeze tighter and tighter. Forcing the air from her lungs as though her insides are caught in a vice. As the warmth she'd felt from them is replaced by an icy chill that seeps more deeply into her blood and bones than the rain ever could.

No, her love is the only thing giving her the strength to try to make this sacrifice in the first place.

It's _terror_ that freezes her body in place. Terror at the nagging thought that once she's gone, Victoria will still be in danger... and Kate won't be there to save her. That she is going to be punished for Kate's sin of defiance, and no amount of self-sacrifice after-the-fact will change her fate.

The voice in her ear is no longer soothing and reassuring. It is pleading, filled with the same familiar panic that tightens Kate's throat like a noose.

_"Please don't let me die in here."_

She wants to take the literal leap of faith before her, just as she has sworn to do.

But... she _can't_. Not as long as even a sliver of doubt remains.

Victoria's life is too important to be left to chance.

Kate begins to hyperventilate, her mind racing and her heart slamming against her ribs. She feels like she is being ground into dust between the unstoppable force that is her drive to obey God's will, and the immovable object that is her desperate need to see that her angel is safe with her own eyes.

So, Kate takes the only option she has left to her...

She bargains.

One does not bargain with God. One obeys, or faces eternal damnation. Kate wouldn't be surprised if He struck her down with a bolt of lightning and cast her soul into Hell for even considering the notion... but even the threat of Hell is worth it to her, if it's for Victoria's sake.

Kate falls to her knees and clasps her hands together as she begins to pray. She asks God’s forgiveness for refusing his call. She begs Him to give her more time, just long enough to protect Victoria from whatever is coming. She pleads with Him to grant her the strength she will need to see this through.

“Just three more days.” She whispers.

“Just let me save her.”

“And then I’ll go… in Your name, I swear.”

She repeats these words like a mantra, remaining on her knees long after that invisible riptide-like pull toward the roof's edge dissipates along with the rain. She remains there, her legs and knees growing raw and bloody pressed as they are against the hard stone of the roof, until the sun begins to creep toward the horizon and a peculiar shadow begins to fall over her.

Finally, she stands and turns to face the sunset, to witness that golden orb being devoured by a circle of inky black.

Kate isn’t sure if the eclipse is a sign of God’s grace in granting her request, or His _fury_ at being denied once more. But she decides, as she begins making her way to her room on shaky legs, it doesn’t matter much to her in the end. No consequence is so great that she wouldn't gladly take it to keep Victoria alive.

Three more days, and then Kate will go to face her judgement... with grace.

With love.

And with joy in her heart.

Because she’ll _know_ her angel is safe.

*****

**Thursday, October 10 th, 2013 - Girls' Dormitory: Kate's Room**

Kate holds her mouth open as she carefully applies her mascara… she’s not going for much, here, just a light enough touch to go with the dusky gold eyeshadow that a google search said would highlight the hazel of her eyes. She glances down at her phone, where a YouTube video about applying make-up for beginners is currently playing, before inspecting her recently uncovered mirror again.

She actually feels a sense of pride as she reviews her work… she’s no Courtney, obviously, but it seems to be turning out pretty well given her lack of experience. Kate’s mother would probably call her a “trollop” or a “painted whore” right now, which in her estimate means she must be on the right track.

Speaking of Courtney, Kate can’t help but blush furiously at the sound of the girl’s _extremely explicit_ suggestions of how she feels Victoria should be properly thanked for helping Max with some kind of legal trouble. She’s not trying to eavesdrop at all, but as mentioned the walls in this dorm are thin, and Courtney’s voice _especially_ carries… Kate honestly wouldn’t be surprised if _Warren_ could hear her all the way from the Boys' Dorm.

Any envy that Kate may have felt at the thought of Courtney following through on some of her suggestions is quickly banished by the sound of unrestrained, raucous laughter – _Victoria’s laugh_ – emanating from the room next door, followed by delighted squeals as her friends join in. Hearing Victoria laugh so loud and free, especially after seeing how dejected the girl was in the shower room earlier, makes Kate’s heart swell near-to bursting with joy, her chin quivering from the effort to refrain from shedding happy tears. She whispers her thanks to God that Victoria has friends as good as Taylor and Courtney, and despite the adversarial relationship she’s had with them in the past, makes a note to include them in her prayers.

Kate’s blush returns when she momentarily considers googling some of the terms Victoria’s rarely-tactful bestie is throwing around. _Only momentarily_ , mind you… she’d probably die of embarrassment before the results page even loaded.

_But… if it was only for educational purposes…_

Kate shakes her head firmly, chiding herself to stay focused. She needs to concentrate on tonight. On keeping Victoria safe. Nothing else matters.

It is easier said than done, of course, since her body still _aches_ from how close she came to being intimate with Victoria earlier this evening. Kate could see the dark hunger in those emerald eyes when she promised that she would do _anything_ for her if Victoria would only stay away from that party tonight.

She knows it wouldn't have been loving, or tender, or any of the things Kate would have liked for her first time to be. It wouldn't have even been about _Kate_ at all. But she didn't care... she resolved a long time ago that she would be anything her angel needed her to be. And if that meant being used as nothing more than a sacrifice to salve Victoria's pain and frustration over her break-up with Max, then Kate would have climbed up on that altar without hesitation.

Kate applies the cherry-flavored lip gloss she purchased just for this occasion, before stepping back from the mirror to give herself a final once-over. Aside from the make-up, she is allowing her honey-colored, below-the-shoulder-length hair to remain free of her customary bun, even having taken the time to curl it a bit at the ends and back-brush it out thoroughly to add volume. The black sequined dress she picked up, from one of the thrift stores she partnered with for her work on the meals-on-wheels program, is perhaps a bit smaller than she’s comfortable with… it hugs her bosom and hips more tightly than she thought it would, and no matter how she tugs at the hem she can only get it to cover her legs down to mid-thigh.

But she _is_ going to a party, and she wants to do her best to blend-in. She’d stand out like a sore thumb in her conservative everyday attire, and while she hasn’t actually ever _been_ to a non-church sanctioned party before, Kate thinks she has at least approximated the look she sees on party-going girls in the movies and TV shows.

Besides… she’s going to be at the same party as _Victoria Chase_ , and even if she plans on only watching her safely from the shadows tonight, part of Kate still wants to look _good_ for her. She’d like to feel like Victoria would _want_ her, even if she doesn’t want to be _with_ her.

She grins shyly as she daydreams about just walking up to Victoria right in the middle of everyone and asking her to dance. Her angel would say yes, being that this is a daydream after all. And Kate would say all the right things and do all her dance moves correctly and not make a complete fool of herself, and then they would share a tender slow-dance together and Victoria would just give her that _look_ , the one that makes Kate’s heart melt every single time. And Victoria would lean in close and whisper “ _Katie, let’s hop in my fancy car and leave all these dreams and visions and this entire poop-hole town behind_ ”, and Kate would say yes, _of course_ she’d say yes, and they’d go on all sorts of adventures and…

Ok… Kate has to stop thinking these kinds of thoughts _right now_ , or she really will make herself cry.

…

After taking some time to compose her emotions, Kate slips her phone in a little black clutch purse, before finally spinning around to face Alice.

“So… how do I look?”

She giggles as her rabbit gives her what she chooses to believe is an approving nose-waggle from her cage, before blowing the furry creature a kiss. She hopes that this won’t be the last time she sees her sweet, steadfast companion... but she plans to follow Victoria _wherever_ she may go tonight.

And if Victoria doesn't make it back home safely, then Kate surely won't either.

*****

**Blackwell Academy: Courtyard**

Kate hustles through the courtyard, eager to get inside the party and find a quiet vantage point from which she’ll be able to see Victoria arrive. She’s certain she left well before Victoria and her friends, but she wants to leave nothing to chance, not tonight of all nights.

Despite all the signs directing students to use the parking lot-side entrance, Kate still slips beneath the ropes used to cordon off the doors that lead into the locker rooms, only to find that they are, as expected, firmly locked. It makes sense that the organizers would want to be able to control the flow of students in and out of the party… but it still could have been a convenient way to slip in unnoticed. The thought of passing through the main entrance with all the other students fills her with social anxiety and a fear of being spotted by someone she knows. But it doesn’t look like she has any other options, so she begins heading in that direction.

She doesn’t need to look up to know that the two moons from her vision are there, looking down on her from the clear night sky. She’s also certain that no one else sees them, by the lack of reaction from the students milling about outside. Just like no one else saw the snow on Monday, or the eclipse on Tuesday. Just like no one but Kate seemed to smell the foul stench of rotting whales that was carried along on the sea breeze yesterday evening or earlier this afternoon. Kate knows that this is a private conversation between her and God.

_Remember your vow._

And Kate will. She just needs to see to it that Victoria makes it through tonight safely, and this time she _will_ keep her promise.

*****

**Blackwell Academy: Swimming Pool**

Making it past the coat check line was even more a harrowing experience than Kate previously imagined. As if the catcalls she got from a group of drunk boys going the opposite direction as she made her way in weren’t bad enough, the shock of seeing Stella working behind the counter with Warren standing nearby gave her the momentary urge to run back out.

But, thankfully, most of Stella’s attention was focused on checking items in and updating her official-looking clipboard, and Warren had eyes for no one but Stella, of course. Since Kate has nothing to check in, she skips the line and heads straight for the dark curtains that obscure the party beyond. At one point she thinks Stella begins to look up in her direction, but Kate turns her face away and makes a show of fussing with her long locks of hair until she’s safely out of sight.

*****

Kate feels like a moron. An absolute, blithering _idiot_.

She went to all this effort to dress and make herself up so as not to stand-out at the party tonight. Not even thinking about the fact that it’s a party at a _swimming pool_ , so of course most people are hanging out in their bathing suits, while Kate looks like she’s ready for a night out at _Studio 54_.

She’s already had to fend off one request for a dance and another offer to get her a drink, luckily both from people she’s pretty sure don’t know her well enough to recognize her. But she knows she can’t just stand around like this, either, because scanning the crowd she does see several people that probably would given enough scrutiny… especially Alyssa, who’s standing on the edge of the far side of the pool, or Brooke and Daniel over by the bar. She briefly considers just standing in the corner and hoping for the best, but she's already feeling like she’s too exposed for that to work.

The area beyond the curtains separating the rest of the pool from what lies behind the DJ’s stage seems dark enough, but she would have to sneak past the aforementioned Brooke, Daniel, and Alyssa just to get to the VIP entrance, and there’s no way she could make it past the bouncer there. Kate’s name is _definitely_ not on any Vortex Club list, that’s for sure. There isn’t any security manning the curtain on the near-side of the pool, but the way is blocked by a stack of crates, and she figures there’s no way she could push past them without knocking over the massive speaker that sits on top.

But thankfully, as always, the Lord shows her the way. This time in the form of the words blaring from that very same speaker alongside the heavy electronic dance music.

_**‘They say that either you're out or you're in…’**  
**‘But you're on’**  
**‘They say that either you're out or you'll swim…’**  
**‘On your own’** _

Not wasting any time, Kate tosses her clutch and sneakers over the crates and slips into the pool. Keeping one hand on the hem of her dress to prevent it from floating up and exposing her entire backside for the world to see, she pulls herself along the side with her other arm. Quickly she makes it past the crates and pulls herself up on the far side and, glancing around to ensure that no one is looking, slips behind the curtain.

Kate nestles herself in a dark, secluded spot between the curtain and another crate, where she can easily peek out at the main pool area. Then, she settles in to wait.

And watch.

*****

Kate’s heartbeat speeds up, her mind and body going on full alert when Victoria and crew arrive a little more than half an hour later, heralded first by Taylor dragging Warren through the curtains to dance with him near the pool.

Victoria follows close behind, and Kate has to fight off a wave of nausea at the sight of her outfit… a black skirt and pink top, _exactly_ like the one she saw in her nightmare. For a moment the Blackwell Queen seems unsure of herself, as if she is afraid to carry on without her friends at her side. Kate wonders if she can also feel the pervasive sense of dread that permeates the air tonight, or if that's all just in her own mind.

Eventually, though, her angel manages to gird herself enough to start making her way over to the VIP entrance. If she has any awareness of Kate’s eyes following her every step of the way, she gives no indication of it.

Kate shifts around to secure a new vantage point behind a third set of curtains that allows her to watch Victoria as she takes a seat by the bar, and settles in once again. Occasionally she has to scurry away to dodge the eyes of someone coming back there for a piece of equipment, or couples sneaking off to make-out, but she manages.

For a long while the short-haired blonde sits and drinks, putting on a brave face but obviously looking miserable to Kate’s eyes. Her chest aches with the desire to go and comfort her somehow, but she knows doing so would only put the girl further at risk.

That is why Kate’s heart _soars_ when Taylor finally arrives to goad Victoria into a dance. Seeing the way she makes her angel smile and laugh, Kate realizes that she has never felt so much love in her heart for Taylor Christensen than in this very moment.

But when Taylor later leaves again, only to be replaced by Nathan Prescott? _That’s_ when the fear truly sets in for Kate. Fear and the memory of the rage and revulsion she felt at the sight of him leaving Victoria’s room earlier, before Victoria arrived back at the Dorms with Max in tow. When Kate was _overwhelmed_ with certainty that Nathan had already taken her. Already _hurt_ her. That the shadow looming over Victoria as she cried in her room in Kate's vision belonged to _him_.

She doesn’t know for sure that Nathan has _anything_ to do with her visions. But after all the rumors she’s heard about him… the drugs, the violent outbursts, even putting a girl in the hospital a couple years back? Kate would prefer it if Victoria stayed _far_ away from that boy tonight, _thank you very much_.

Eventually Victoria leaves Nathan’s side and heads for the stage, forcing Kate to dart over to another spot so that she can see that the girl is now talking to Mr. Jefferson. She definitely is not close enough to make out what they’re saying, but whatever it is makes Kate feel uneasy. Victoria is clearly and rapidly becoming upset, and when her teacher reaches out to grab her by the shoulder Kate can feel that same protective rage from before start to re-brew within her.

Soon enough, however, Jefferson is leaving Victoria to climb up onto the stage, and the girl stalks angrily back to the bar, which is thoroughly obscured from Kate’s current hiding spot. But before Kate can change positions again to get a better view, she sees Victoria push open the door to the girl’s restroom and disappear inside.

Though she’s alarmed at not being able to have eyes on her angel, Kate reassures herself that it should be fine… that exit is locked, after all, and from where she’s currently crouched she can easily see if anyone else tries to go in that bathroom. She tries to push aside the uneasy butterflies as she settles back in, Mr. Jefferson’s speech fading into the background of Kate’s worried mind as she watches that door like a hawk.

“ _YOU SUCK, CAULFIELD!_ ” A loud voice cuts right through the cheering crowd as Jefferson ends his speech, making Kate jump at the sound of it. It’s a voice that, going by the volume and sheer enmity contained within it, can only belong to Courtney Wagner. Kate is startled when she glances over at the VIP entrance by the sight of the black-haired girl rounding the corner of the stage and walking straight toward her with an angry sneer on her face.

_Sh-shit! Did she see me?_

Kate ducks back behind the curtain in a flash, praying that Victoria’s most vicious confidant isn’t coming to personally eject her. Given what’s at stake she definitely won’t go quietly, but she doesn’t know how she’d manage to get past the girl without drawing far too much attention to herself.

She waits for several long moments with her heart in her throat until she’s fairly sure Courtney isn’t coming after all, then peeks out again. No sign of Courtney, but the length of time Victoria has been in the bathroom at this point is driving Kate’s anxiety through the roof. She doesn’t know how much longer she’ll be able to wait. If her angel isn’t back soon, she’ll have to risk…

A sickening thought crosses her mind, driving out all others. It wasn’t for long, but for the time she was hiding from Courtney, Kate took her eyes off that door.

Kate leans out further to get a look at the bar. When she does, her heart drops straight from her throat and all the way down to her stomach.

_Nathan is gone._

Kate leaps to her feet, panic driving her into a cold sweat as adrenaline courses through her body. She can’t afford to wait anymore; she has to go _now_. Hurriedly she passes through the curtains, praying no one tries to stop her as she makes a beeline for the bathroom. She doesn’t _want_ to hurt any of Victoria’s friends, but if she has to…

Her eyes dart around the room, scanning for threats as she tries to keep the terror from her face. Trying to seem like she belongs back here.

Logan is right next to the door, but he is having an animated discussion with Hayden at the moment. Dana and Trevor are almost directly in her path, but she is facing away while she twerks and his eyes are glued to her rear-end. Zachary and Juliet are making out on the couch. No one else to really worry about except…

Movement from the right side catches her eye. Courtney, standing mere feet from where she’d been hiding just now. But Kate heaves a sigh of relief when she realizes that the girl is occupied with writing something on the wall with the giant sharpie in her hand.

**_FUCK_ **

**_YOUR_ **

**_SELFI-_ **

Doing her best to channel an aura of _‘I’m just a Vortex Club groupie who desperately needs to pee, don’t pay me any mind!’_ , Kate can’t help but break into a run for the last several feet before reaching the door and pushing into the darkened bathroom beyond.

*****

**Blackwell Swimming Pool: Girls' Locker Room**

Bile rises in Kate’s throat as she blasts open door after door, only to find each of the ladies’ room stalls terrifyingly free of her angel.

_Am I… Am I too late?!? Is she…?_

Kate shakes her head furiously, chiding herself to focus on finding Victoria as she quickly scans the darkened locker room beyond. She only took her eyes off the door for a minute, Kate reminds herself. Less than. She _will_ find Victoria, she _has_ _to_.

She tries not to think of all the horrible things that can happen in less than a minute as she crosses the foyer to yank on the boy’s locker room door, only to find that it’s locked.

Her heart is beating far too quickly as she passes the vending machines and into the small entryway, but it nearly screeches to a stop when she gives the red doors that lead out into the courtyard, the very doors she found to be locked earlier that evening, a hard tug… and the left one opens easily.

_NononononopleaseGodno-_

If there is another way into and out of the pool building, Victoria could potentially have been missing for _much_ longer than a minute.

Tears blur her vision as she races outside and down the sidewalk toward the path that would take her back around to the parking lot, digging her phone out of her clutch as she goes.

“ _This is my fault!_ ” Kate moans, fumbling to unlock the device with shaking hands. Finally, she manages it and jams her thumb onto Victoria’s contact, which takes up a prominent position on the center of the screen.

“ _Pleasepleaseplease pick up!!!_ ” she prays, only to sob when the call immediately disconnects. Kate tries to jam the contact again while rounding the corner of the building, but her split focus causes her to lose her footing, and she falls forward. Her skull reverberates from the impact of taking the hard fall to the sidewalk right on her chin, making her see stars.

_I should have jumped_ , Kate thinks, desperately trying to stand back up using arms and legs that suddenly don’t seem to be cooperating. She should have jumped from the top of that rain-drenched rooftop Tuesday, but she didn’t. And now God is punishing Victoria for Kate’s sin.

If Victoria is dead, Kate will die too. Visions or no visions, she swore she’d follow Victoria wherever she went tonight… and death is no exception. Kate won’t live in a world without that beautiful smile that makes her feel happy to be alive, or those fierce, brilliant, _hungry_ emerald eyes that plague Kate’s every thought, every—

_!_

Kate gasps, her entire body tensing at the feel of a brief, nearly imperceptible pressure that forms on the side of her head near her left temple. She blinks rapidly to will the stars away as she looks up in that general direction, not immediately seeing anything but empty courtyard.

It had been barely a caress, and over almost as soon as it started… but that warm feeling she _always_ and _only_ experiences when Victoria looks at her had been there. Kate is _sure_ of it. She was thinking of her angel’s eyes and then…

_!!!_

_There it is again_.

Kate’s hazel eyes snap into focus when the tingling sensation reappears just over under her right cheekbone. It shifts to the bridge of her nose as she turns her head to the right and… down. Directly beyond the stone steps that lead down to the bus-stop, and the road beyond it. The feeling fades again for a moment, but then returns stronger than ever. Though the angle she’s at obscures anything beyond those steps from view, Kate is absolutely _certain_ that Victoria is somewhere in that direction.

She doesn't know how she knows this... but to be quite honest, she really could not care less at this moment. It's not too late. Her angel still has a chance.

Kate runs harder than she’s ever run in her life.

*****

**Blackwell Academy: Bus Stop**

The top of the stairway allows full view of the bus stop, and Kate’s attention is immediately caught by a pair of students moving away from her, toward the road. A male in a brown jacket appears to be half-walking, half-dragging the blonde girl in a pink top who is slumped into his side. They appear to be heading for a red pickup truck on the far end of the drive, parked in the shadows just beyond the streetlights’ reach.

Kate nearly _flies_ down the steps, her blood boiling with fury.

_I won’t let him take her away from me! I WON’T!!!_

As she approaches, Kate thinks she can hear Nathan muttering something like “I’m sorry, I have to…” as he drags the girl along.

The blonde’s head raises in Kate's direction, a pair of glassy and unfocused emerald eyes, _Victoria’s eyes_ , catching the light as they lock onto hers. Victoria seems to struggle in Nathan’s grasp at the sight of her, reaching out for Kate as she protests with a slurred voice.

“Nuh… No…! l-lemme…” 

Nathan begins to turn at the sound of Kate’s rapidly approaching footsteps, his eyes widening with shock at the look of pure rage on her face.

_“LET HER GO!!!!”_

Kate closes the distance before he can react, colliding hard enough to carry the both of them down to the sidewalk in a heap. Nathan’s grip on Victoria broken, the blonde slumps weakly onto her side a couple of feet away as Kate uses her momentary advantage to clamber on top of the stunned boy.

“The _FUH-_ ” he begins to shout, only to be cut off by Kate’s right fist as she drives it _hard_ into his face.

“ _YOU CAN’T TAKE HER!_ ” Kate screeches wildly, straddling Nathan’s midsection to pin him to the ground as she brings down another hard fist, tears of pure fury streaming down her face. “ _I WON’T LET YOU!_ ”

“ _Geh-get off me… Stop!_ ” he groans, pain evident in his voice as red welts and bloody smears begin to cover his face.

“ _SHE’S MY ANGEL!_ ”

She hits him again, and again, ignoring both the sharp pain in her hands and the gout of blood that escapes his nostrils. Kate knows she can’t let up… Nathan is bigger than her, and almost certainly much stronger. One good hit from him could probably knock her out cold, and she _can’t_ allow that to happen.

“ _-rry… I’m sor-_ ”

“ _MY ANGEL!_ ” Kate won’t stop. She _can’t_. All she sees is red and white and Victoria bound and weeping in her mind’s eye. “ _MINE!!!_ ”

_!!!!!!_

“Kuh… _Katie_ …?”

Kate’s head snaps around of its own accord at the sound of her angel’s voice and the return of that burning pressure, hazel eyes meeting green as Victoria struggles to lift her torso up off of the sidewalk with shaking arms.

Those glassy, confused eyes distract her only for a moment… but it’s long enough to allow Nathan to lift up and land a wild, desperate punch of his own right to Kate’s jaw.

It’s a good hit.

…

Before she even registers what happened, Kate finds herself laid out on the concrete, her ears ringing as the entire left side of her face throbs with pain. Through blurred, unfocused eyes she can see Nathan stumbling over to his truck and yanking open the passenger side door, his voice seething with anger and humiliation as he curses.

Kate tries to raise her head. She has to get up. _She has to get up,_ but for the second time tonight her body refuses to obey, only managing a weak flail of one arm before her cheek sags back down to the sidewalk. Icy terror courses through her veins at the sight of Nathan rummaging in his glovebox, before standing back up with something in his hand.

She can’t call for help. She must have dropped her phone and bag somewhere on the way between the steps and Nathan, and even if she wasn’t too stunned to move all she would have it in her to do right now would be to jump on top of Victoria to protect her from whatever is about to happen.

Nathan points the blurry silver object right at Kate.

_Please… Please spare her…_ she prays, more than willing to accept this as her end if God will spare Victoria’s in exchange.

…

Something slumps heavily over top of her, then, and Kate’s vision is obscured by a pink-clad arm as the scent of soap and lilacs and a hint of cigarettes fills her nostrils. She struggles to turn, blearily blinking up at Victoria’s face as the girl covers Kate’s body with her own, one arm planted on either side of Kate’s head as she tilts her eyes toward Nathan.

“Tuh… take me.” Victoria slurs. “N-not… _her_ …”

A tear rolls all the way down to the tip of her delicate chin, where it hangs precariously for a long moment before dripping onto Kate’s cheek with a light _plop_.

“I deser—"

“ _No_!” Kate cries out in dismay, a surge of adrenaline finally allowing her to wrap her arms around Victoria. She pulls her down and rolls the girl onto her side, trying to put as much of herself as possible between her angel and Nathan.

…

“ _Fuck_ …” Nathan mutters, his voice strained. It sounds as though something is rattling in his hand.

“I won’t let you…” Kate weeps into Victoria’s hair. “I won’t…”

“ _Vic…_ I…” Nathan’s disembodied voice cracks from behind her, before he screams “ _FUCK!!!_ ”

Kate isn’t sure exactly what happens after that. Maybe Nathan has an attack of conscience. Maybe it’s the sound of distant, laughing voices approaching from the direction of the school building. Maybe it’s just the grace of God.

But the next things she hears are Nathan’s footsteps as he runs back to the truck, followed by a door slamming shut before the vehicle pulls away, tires squealing.

A sharp pain shoots through her skull when she lifts her head, but Kate pays it no mind as she watches the tail lights fade into the darkness. After a while she manages to sit up on her knees, pulling Victoria up with her as much as she can. Kate nestles her cheek against her angel’s head, and her chin quivers as the muscles in her throat work of their own accord. Finally, Kate’s shoulders begin to shake as a string of violent, wracking sobs full of spent fear and newfound relief finally overtake her.

The girl mumbles something Kate can’t make out, before she feels a slender arm snake its way around her waist.

“You’re ok…” Kate soothes through her tears. “Everything is going to be ok…”

Kate peers up into the night sky, and her breath catches as she sees one of those twin moons slowly fade away, leaving a solitary bright orb to stare back at her. Sobbing again, this time out of gratitude, she sends her thanks up to the heavens.

_Her angel is safe._

*****

**Girls' Dormitory: Victoria’s Room**

Kate heaves a sigh of relief at the sound of the door clicking shut behind her. Her legs are shaking both from the adrenaline finally beginning to leave her body, and from the effort of supporting her angel’s weight as she walks the stumbling, barely conscious girl over to the bed, pausing only to toss her and Victoria’s bags onto the coffee table along the way.

Pulling the blanket to the side, Kate manages to sit Victoria down on the edge of the bed before gently guiding her head to the pillow. Kneeling down on the floor next to her, Kate grunts as she pulls the girl’s legs up onto the bed as well, carefully removing the expensive looking heels from her feet before pulling the blanket up over her. Victoria mutters something unintelligible as she nestles in, but her eyes are closed and soon enough her breathing settles into a slow, rhythmic pattern.

Kate remains on her knees for several long minutes, just watching the rise and fall of those steady breaths. She can hardly believe her eyes. Her angel is _right there_ , lying safe in her bed. It’s like a dream come true… no, more than that. It’s a _miracle_.

But, the hazel eyed girl reminds herself as she scans the dark room for something she can use to bar the door from the inside, the night isn’t over _yet_. Kate pushes up to her feet as her eyes settle on the nearby coffee table, but she quickly discounts it as being far too light to suit her purpose.

The _couch_ , however, should do nicely…

Moving around to the far end, Kate groans at the deep, aching pain she feels in her bruised and swollen hands as she heaves at the heavy piece of furniture. It takes several minutes of pulling, repositioning, and pushing before she finally manages to wedge it against the door, and she’s sweating from the effort by the time she’s done. Her hands are throbbing now, but the suffering is worth it for the feeling of security that her makeshift barricade provides.

A wave of lethargy washes over Kate, and she flumps back onto the couch with a sigh, allowing herself to close her eyes for a few moments.

She definitely doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of staying in Victoria’s room without permission, but she doesn’t know what else to do. She’s certainly not going to leave her alone while she’s sleeping and vulnerable, on the chance that Nathan tries to come back for her during the night. She figures the best compromise is to add her bodyweight to that of the couch until morning… or until Victoria wakes up enough to kick her out. Kate’s under no illusions that what happened tonight will change anything between them, after all.

Kate opens her eyes again and sighs again, leaning forward enough to reach for the coffee table. She winces at the stab of pain in her hand as she pulls it toward her. Right now, she’s not sure if her hands or her swollen jaw hurts worse, as both seem to be giving their best effort at claiming that first prize. She’s pretty sure nothing’s broken, though, so she counts her blessings for that.

Opening her clutch, Kate places her phone on the table before fishing out the other item she’d purchased just for tonight. Inspecting the plastic and metal air horn in her hand, it strikes Kate that it would have been smart to have used it in an effort to attract help _before_ she attacked Nathan, had she not forgotten its existence entirely in the throes of her rage at the sight of him dragging her angel away. She wouldn’t go back and change it even if she could, however… she managed to get Victoria safely back to her room without it, and even though she’d asked the attendant at the sporting goods store for the loudest model they carried, there would have been no guarantee that it would summon help in time.

She places the object on the table in front of her, within arm’s reach in the case that it still manages to come in handy tonight, after all. Should anyone try to break into this room, she’ll blast the entire _school_ awake, if necessary.

The shiver that runs through her body and the goosebumps that have arisen on her exposed legs alert her to the chill in the air, making her wish that she’d thought to go to her room and grab a blanket _before_ she’d barred the door. Another quick glance around the room reveals a towel crumpled in the corner. Kate finds it to be slightly damp to the touch in places as she retrieves it, but figures it will be better than nothing.

_!!!!!!_

“Katie…?”

The quavering voice to her right causes Kate’s head to snap up. Victoria is sitting up in her bed, clutching the blanket tightly to her chest. She’s staring at Kate, her green eyes wide and shimmering, her right hand covering her mouth as though she’s in disbelief at what she’s seeing.

In a flash Kate is across the room and sitting on the edge of Victoria’s bed, her eyes soft and her voice gentle.

“ _Victoria_ … it’s… it’s okay. You’re _safe_. I’m right here.”

But Victoria just stares, a single tear slipping down her left cheek. “ _Katie_ …?” she finally repeats, her voice full of pain. Pain and guilt and… _grief?_

“Are… Are you… really here? Or am I…?”

She reaches out a trembling hand, her manicured fingers hesitantly moving toward Kate’s left cheek. When Kate leans into the gentle touch, Victoria withdraws her hand as though she’d just touched an open flame, a half-sob, half-startled cry escaping her pink lips.

“Victoria…? What’s… what’s wr—”

Kate’s words are interrupted by Victoria throwing herself forward to snatch her up into a crushing hug, the blonde’s arms wrapped so tightly around her that she can barely breathe.

“Katie!!! Oh, _GOD_ , Katie!!!” Victoria wails, and Kate can feel hot tears on her neck.

“ _I’m so sorry!_ _I’m so sorry for everything!_ Oh God, I was so _awful_ to you every fucking day… Katie, please believe me, I’d—I’d give _anything_ to take it all back! It… it should have been _me_ up there, not you. You didn’t deserve--"

_Is… is this what being drunk is normally like?_

Kate can’t think of any other explanation, as Victoria isn’t making any sense right now. Sure, things haven’t always been the best between them, but she’s still Kate’s angel. She’s made Kate’s life so much brighter just by being in it. Why does Victoria think she’s hurt her so badly?

She wants to tell Victoria this, but she can’t get a word in between the girl’s rambling, frantic apologies. So instead she just returns the hug, moving her hands in slow, soothing circles along her back as it’s wracked by sobs. She simply repeats “ _Shh… shh… it’s okay… it’s okay…_ ” while Victoria alternates between crying and babbling, Kate’s neck and shoulder growing increasingly sodden by the girl’s tears.

Finally, Victoria pulls back enough to look into Kate’s eyes, her hands gripping the girl’s shoulders so tightly, it’s almost as if she’s afraid of what will happen if she let’s go.

“You… You know I actually _prayed_?” Victoria asks, rolling her eyes and laughing in that same loathing, self-deprecating manner she’d used on the rooftop a couple weeks ago. “ _I know,_ right? I told myself… ‘I bet if Katie could see this, she’d be laughing her ass off right now.’ But I _did_ …”

She seems barely able to choke out the words, her lip quivering as tears continue to stream down her face.

“I know… I know this isn’t real. T-that this is a dream or whatever. But I _prayed_ for just one chance to tell you: I _know_ you hate me, Katie, and… and I _deserve_ it. But I swear to God, I would give _anything_ to bring you back. To… to see you smile again. _Anything_.”

“Oh, Victoria, _no_ …” Kate compassionately whispers, reaching up to wipe some of those tears away with her thumb. “I _don’t_ hate you... I could _never_ hate you.”

But if a smile is what Victoria wants most? Well _that’s_ the easiest wish in the world to grant.

Making sure to channel all the love in her heart straight through her hazel eyes, Kate gives the girl her brightest, most beaming smile… the one that she reserves _solely_ for her angel.

…

Victoria’s emerald eyes go wide as saucers, and she freezes like a deer caught in the headlights, seemingly captivated by the sincere joy displayed on Kate’s face.

She looks like someone who is witnessing a miracle.

She looks like someone whose dream – a dream she never even knew she _had_ until this very moment – _just came true_.

And then… with a hungry little moan, she’s darting forward.

It takes Kate a moment to realize what is even _happening_ as Victoria's pink lips press against her own. Kate’s dirty blonde eyebrows climb higher and higher on her head as the kiss – _the kiss_ – starts off slow, and shaky, and tender… but quickly grows in passion, in _desire_.

On some level she knows that she should pull away. That Victoria is feeling confused, and vulnerable, her mind clouded by alcohol and God knows what else. Kate has offered herself to Victoria so many times, and each time has been met with rejection. Letting this happen right now feels too much like taking advantage.

But… she _can’t_. She can’t pull away. Because this feels too much like everything she’s ever wanted.

A pair of tears escape Kate’s eyes as she closes them tightly shut, allowing herself to melt into Victoria’s kiss. The movement and pressure of her lips quickly matches the ferocity of Victoria’s as they fall into a desperate dance of give and take. They come together, and break apart… just to crash back into each other once more, again and again and again.

By the time Kate feels Victoria’s tongue gently flick across her lips, probing as though asking permission, it’s _not even_ _a question_ for her. Kate parts her lips to allow Victoria inside without hesitation, and she can taste alcohol and cigarettes on the girl’s tongue but she doesn’t _care_ , because underneath that is the taste of _her_. Soon enough they are caressing each other, teasing each other, exploring and swirling and melding into one another.

Kate doesn’t even know where she _is_ right now. The entire world could just as well have moved out from underneath to leave the pair of them floating in space for all she’d notice. The only thing that matters to her right now, the only thing that even _exists_ for her right now, is the feel of Victoria’s lips. The taste of her tongue mingled with salty tears – Victoria’s, or Kate’s, or a mixture of both. The way her perfect body presses tightly against Kate’s, her hands desperately clawing at Kate’s back and tangling into her long hair.

All that exists is Victoria, and the boundless love that Kate is trying to pour into her.

A low moan of protest rumbles in her throat when Victoria finally pulls away, and she leans forward involuntarily as her mouth tries to follow the retreating girl’s. But she does stop when she sees the look of sadness and guilt and regret in those green eyes, and the pained grimace that crosses her angel’s face.

“I don’t… I don’t want to wake up…” Victoria sobs. “ _I don’t ever want to wake up_ …”

“It’s ok, Victoria… I swear, I’ll be right here when you do.”

Kate can tell that _sleep_ is exactly what the girl needs right now… she can see the exhaustion quickly rising to claim Victoria as her eyes begin to regain that glassy, drooping quality from earlier tonight. So, she scoots in closer and applies pressure with her hands to gently guide her angel back down to her pillow. Victoria tries to protest, but she clearly doesn’t have the strength to make much of a go at it as Kate lays her down and pulls the blanket back over her.

Kate murmurs soothingly while lightly brushing more tears from the girl’s cheeks, but when she finally stands to return to the couch, Victoria grabs her arm tightly. A look of sheer panic is evident on her face.

“Please don’t leave me again, Katie. _Please_ … _please_ don’t go…” she begs, her voice slurring and strained.

Kate hesitates for a moment, but only just. Gently freeing herself from Victoria’s grip, she bustles over to the couch to collect her things before returning and lying down on top of the blanket next to the girl, pulling the towel up to cover the chilly flesh of her exposed legs as she does.

Chastely caressing her angel’s side through the blanket, she responds to each of Victoria’s repeated pleas with her own whispers of “I won’t.” “I promise.” “I’m right here.” She intersperses these assurances with soft kisses to her cheek and forehead, and it isn’t long before her bedmate’s breathing slows once more, and her words are replaced by soft, gentle snoring.

Kate had intended to stay up all night, or at least as long as she could manage it, in case Nathan did try to come back for Victoria. But the feel of the warmth radiating from her angel’s body, and the feel of her soft breath against her face, combined with the weight of Kate’s own exhaustion after a long week of sleepless nights, soon has her feeling like she is beginning to drift off as well.

Kate has never been this close to Victoria before… and, even if this is just for tonight, it doesn’t matter. _Her angel is safe_.

Kate feels peace. She feels comfort. She feels joy.

But she also feels guilt. For the last thoughts that ring through her mind as unconsciousness claims her are echoes of another promise she made.

_“Just three more days.”_

_“Just let me save her.”_

_“And I’ll go. In Your name, I swear.”_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beautiful artwork on display in this chapter has been provided by the incredible [blusthings](http://blusthings.tumblr.com/)! Thank you so, so much for giving form to this special moment, I will treasure it always!
> 
> _Chapter title reference: _[Tether](https://youtu.be/tVI2SmhJDcY)_ by CHVRCHES_


	10. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria faces a crisis of identity. Kate faces a crisis of faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW for suicidal ideation and a near attempt

**October 11 th, 2013 - ??????**

When Victoria awakens, it is not the seamless, peaceful transition from sleep in which her eyes flutter open to be greeted by the gentle promise of a new day.

Nor is it the abrupt, violent smashing through the barrier of consciousness as the alarm by her bedside screams her awake, or she screams _herself_ awake to escape the clutches of yet another vaguely remembered nightmare about cold rain and blood splattered on grass and concrete.

No, this feels more like being trapped in a void of inky blackness at the bottom of an endlessly deep, endlessly dark well. One that is at once foreign and horrifyingly familiar: she can’t be sure if she just arrived or if she has been trapped down here for _years_.

She has to get out, but there are no stars in the sky above to show her the way. Maybe there is no sky. Maybe there is _no way out at all_.

But she thrashes and flails for something to grab onto, some handhold she can use to climb upward. Because there's something terrible in the murky, stagnant waters below. Something darker than the inky blackness that envelops her. Something slithering, and hungry, and _wrong_.

_!_

Suddenly, Victoria _feels_ more than hears something calling out to her from elsewhere in the void, and she spins and twists and casts her gaze every which way to try to find it. But the tiny hope that surged within her dies away when all she sees around her is yet more darkness, when her cries for help are only met with echoes of her own voice. That is when despair truly begins to set in.

Maybe… maybe this is where she belongs.

_!!!_

But she feels that mysterious call once more, stronger this time, strong enough to physically turn her head to the side, to yank her gaze upward. And there, floating somewhere high above the murky waters that come up to her waist is a tiny, ephemeral luminescence, like a will-o'-the-wisp of swirling colors, all shades of brown and gold.

As she looks at this ghostly, delicate light, it seems to grow brighter even as it moves in closer, pulsing rhythmically to match the beat of Victoria’s own heart. With each pulse a wispy little tendril lashes out, and as her eyes follow the movement, she realizes that it is illuminating something solid… gently prodding her to look upon a wall of sooty earth and ebony brick. As she approaches, Victoria realizes that the wall towers high overhead, well beyond the bounds of the light that seems to be guiding her.

Victoria reaches out with shaking hands, and whimpers with relief when she finds that one is able to dig into this hard soil before her, and the other finds purchase between two of those black bricks. Then, her brow furrowing with determination, Victoria climbs. She keeps her eyes on that delicate glimmer as it rises ahead of her to light her way up, always just out of her reach.

But Victoria begins to realize that something isn’t right as she climbs higher and higher. Her guiding light is battered and buffeted as if by unseen winds, shrinking and dissolving as though the darkness itself is seeking to devour it to prevent her escape. She keens out a grief-stricken wail at the sight of it growing dimmer and dimmer with each pulse.

Knowing it is mere moments from fading away entirely, Victoria makes a choice: heaving with all her might, she releases her grasp and _leaps_ , shouting defiantly into the surrounding darkness as she claps her hands around that delicate radiance.

Victoria pulls that fragile little light close to her chest, curling herself protectively around it to shield it from the hungering void. And she is falling, falling, falling… but she doesn’t care anymore. She would rather stay down here forever than allow something so beautiful to fade from this world.

Part of her has always known that she would end up down here anyway… that it’s no less than she deserv-

‘ _No_!’ A voice cries out in her mind, at once gentle and fierce, comforting and resolute.

With a mighty surge, the flickering light glows warm and bright in her hands, banishing the chill from her flesh as it leaks from between her fingers. It envelops her. It suffuses her. It…

_‘I won’t let you… I won’t…’_

… The light won’t let her fall.

Like a phoenix that light is rising once again, more radiant than ever, burning away every shadow it touches. Feeling a renewed sense of vigor, Victoria grasps at that wall and heaves, and claws, and _fights_ her way upward. Aided by the updraft of her gleaming guardian, she climbs harder and faster than she ever thought possible.

And the light is everywhere now. _It’s everywhere_ , and so bright it makes her weep from the sheer beauty of it.

It is a warm flame, guiding her to shelter from the bitter storm.

It is the stars, shining bright and vibrant against the night sky, infinite in their possibilities.

It is the morning sun, golden and brilliant, carrying with it the promise of a new day... _A good day._

It is a pair of eyes, hazel with tiny flecks of gold, ever-glimmering with kindness and love. Eyes that always, _always_ manage to find her whenever she seeks them out with her own. 

…

Victoria reaches for the light.

*****

**Girls' Dormitory - Victoria's Room**

.

...

.......

Victoria’s senses come back to her in slow, inexorable waves.

The first is taste, which right now is a god-awful combination of sleeping with her mouth partially open, last night’s cigarettes, alcohol and… _yep, great,_ now a hint of bile is getting thrown into mix by a brief constricting of her throat and esophageal muscles.

It’s a bit like what you’d expect licking an ashtray you fished out of a liquor store toilet bowl might be like. Unpleasant, but not at all surprising for the night after a Vortex Club party.

Victoria can hear the pounding of her own heart in her ears, still racing from that bizarre dream that is even now fading from her foggy mind, followed by gentle, rhythmic breathing. Beyond that is the melodic chirping of the songbirds that have been nesting in the tree that stands near her window.

This is _much_ more pleasant. Hearing is really bringing its A-game here, so taste better quit fucking around if it wants to make the cut.

A whiff of stale smoke is in the air, likely from last night’s clothes. Victoria can also detect the scent of soap mingled with dry sweat, along with a hint of… is that _lavender_?

...

It’s definitely not Victoria’s scent. Is that a perfume or…?

_Wait._

_Waaaaaaaaaiiiiiit._

_Back up._

...

That rhythmic breathing she mentioned before isn’t _Victoria's_ , is it?

It feels like her thoughts are being filtered through a bowl of mushy oatmeal, but she’s beginning to become aware of the fact that her forehead is nestled up against a thin, tacky fabric with a layer of ridges… like sequins. The fabric is covering something soft, and pillow-y, and warm, and… and _moving_.

The movement of this unfamiliar, yet strangely comforting, makeshift cushion is gently rocking her head back and forth... precisely in time with that foreign breathing. And by now she has come to realize that her left hand is sandwiched between the curve of a sequin-clad hip and the weight of the smooth-skinned, delicate little wrist that lies gently atop it.

...

Y _uuuuuuuuuuuuuup._ Someone’s _definitely_ in her bed.

...

She tries to lift her head but _HOLY SHIT_ that was a bad idea, as the motion sends waves of pain cascading through it. And with the pain comes a nauseating feeling like her brain is sloshing and bouncing around as though it’s come unmoored inside her skull. So she resumes her position against the soft chest of whoever this is, because at least the gentle rocking motion isn’t making her feel like someone is pounding her mind with a sledgehammer.

On some level Victoria feels like she should be more alarmed about this situation than she is, but she just feels so warm, and comfortable, and... and _safe_ right now. Maybe it's the lingering effects of that dream she was having, but whatever it is she kinda doesn't want to let that feeling go just yet. And anyway, it's not like it's the first time she's gotten trashed and ended up in bed with a friend or even a stranger the next morning, and she knows herself well enough to know it probably won't be the last.

...

She’s not sure how long she lies there, luxuriating in her bedmate’s soothing breathing as it threatens to lull her back to sleep. But as nice as that feels, curiosity _is_ starting to get the better of her. Victoria's becoming increasingly driven now to figure out who she's sharing a bed with… though again not out of a sense of panic or anything. She mostly just wants to know exactly how embarrassed she's going to end up feeling about this later.

The only remaining sense Victoria can use to solve this mystery is sight, but she's been putting that one off all this time because she knows it's going to fucking _suck_. The room is too bright, and even the dim reddish late-morning sunlight managing to penetrate her closed eyelids is making her head throb. She really should invest in some blackout curtains for mornings like this.

Still, all she's doing is delaying the inevitable. So... _here goes_.

Maybe it won't hurt as bad as she's thinking... right?

...

Victoria hesitantly cracks open her left eye by a few millimeters.

_!!!!! **FUCK**!!!!!_

It hurts _worse_ than she thought it would. _So_ much worse, _Jesus Christ_. It’s like the liquid her brain has been sloshing around with is gasoline, which has now been set ablaze by even that sliver of burning light that managed to make it through her lids. She can hear a miserable little whining noise coming from somewhere in the room, and before long she begins to realize that it's coming from her own mouth.

Her pain-filled moan stops of its own accord, however, when the arm that was pinning down her wrist a moment ago wraps around her shoulder, pulling Victoria tighter into that extremely pleasant bosom. The steady pace of the breathing doesn't change, so she can only assume whoever it belongs to is still fast asleep.

It takes Victoria a while longer before agony has subsided enough that she is ready to try again. As tempted as she is to remain wrapped in this peaceful, fleshy dimness for the rest of her life, Victoria figures that eventually she will have to at least get to the point where she can open her eyes again... _if_ she's serious about pursuing a photography career anyway.

Several long minutes of slowly increasing her aperture by minute degrees later, peppered with numerous bouts of blinking away the stinging tears that result from daylight’s brazen assault, Victoria finally feels like she has reached a point where she can attempt to look around the room _without_ praying for death. Small victories and all that… but at least she can now get back to the task at hand.

Her forehead is still pressed firmly into her bedmate’s chest, still being gently rocked by those slow, steady breaths… _in… out… in… out_. And though it does limit her field of vision quite a bit, she has at least gleaned a few useful tidbits of information.

The dress is black, and shiny, and sequined, and, uh… _pretty hot,_ revealing a tantalizing stretch of creamy white thigh starting from about an inch or so shy of the midway point. That alone rules out Taylor or Courtney, the two girls in her life who would be on the lowest end of the embarrassment spectrum (since even _straight_ friends don’t count when enough Vodka’s involved, naturally.) It also doesn’t match Dana from what Victoria remembers of last night’s outfit... which at least proves that even smashed!Vic has _some_ standards.

She can strike a few more names from the list based on skin tone and body type, which is helpful, but… there were a _shitload_ of people at that party. Kids she didn’t know well. Girls from different grades. Hell, for a party of that caliber she wouldn’t have been surprised if at least a few of the students there were from different schools entirely.

There’s… there’s really nothing left to do but move her head, Victoria guesses. She sighs resignedly at the thought, both in anticipation of the hangover induced pain, and a bit of wistfulness that a sensation so… so _nice_ has to come to an end. Still, Victoria _does_ allow herself to enjoy a few more seconds of that steady, tide-like flow. Ok, maybe a _few_ more than a few, but eventually she begins the laborious process of _looking up_.

She starts by gently rolling her head back on her right arm, obviously having abandoned her silk pillow in favor for a couple much more appealing ones at some point during the night. Having managed that small feat, she begins to tilt her face upward, ignoring the starbursts of agony that explode in her head while doing her best to suppress the pained, _The Grudge_ -style rattle that threatens to rise up in her throat as she does.

Victoria blearily studies the pretty face that seems to be basking in innocent, peaceful slumber just a few inches from her own. The girl is intensely familiar, though a few tiny details are throwing Victoria off: the spots of blush on the pale, perfect skin of her cheeks; the remnants of dusky gold eyeshadow; the sheer _length_ of her dark-honey colored hair, if the locks that have managed to snake their way over her shoulder to pool about the pillow in front of her neck are any indication.

But it’s the lips that finally give it away. Full, cherry red, delightfully curved lips. Lips that Victoria has studied countless times over the past month, memorizing the way they move when she talks, or smiles. The way they glisten when she nervously licks them just before answering a teacher’s question, or depress inward when she bites them in that tantalizing way she does. Lips that even now part slightly and contort deliciously as their owner makes a happy little murmur in her sleep.

Lips that can only belong to _her_.

Victoria’s heart clenches in her chest, her surprise driving at least some of the pounding agony right out of her mind.

She’s in bed with _Kate Marsh_.

*****

Victoria momentarily forgets to breathe as her mind starts racing.

_Did… Did I have a drunken hook-up with **Kate Marsh** last night?!_

Not that sleeping with Kate is _that_ far out of the realm of possibility or anything... Victoria will admit that she’s lusted after the mysteriously alluring girl for the better part of this past month, lust that hasn’t been diminished by the girl’s recent crazy-pants behavior or Victoria’s own conflicted feelings toward her. And the way Kate _looked_ at her in the shower room last night with those achingly needful hazel eyes certainly indicated that the feeling was still mutual enough that she doubted Kate would turn down a booty call. The tea and cookies on her doorstep were proof enough that Victoria’s little “we’re not friends or anything else” speech didn’t damper the girl’s resolve one _iota_.

And… she can tell Kate that she doesn’t want her ‘til the cows come home, but Victoria _knows_ it’s not true. She knows how much of a struggle it was last night not to have just taken her right then and there. She also knows how those eyes from her dream… _Kate’s eyes…_ made her feel. Warm. Comfortable. _Safe_.

So... In a way, this was kind of inevitable, right? With Victoria's impulse control issues, it's a miracle she held out this long. No big deal, right???

…

An image of Kate humming in concentration while posting something on the hallway notice board flashes through her mind. A flyer, one that reads:

**ABSTINENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER**

Victoria's mouth goes dry, her breath catching in her throat.

Did... Did she booty call and drunkenly _deflower_ Kate Marsh last night???

_No way. No way no way no way no **fucking** way!!!_

This _is_ a big deal, isn’t it??? Like, the _biggest_ fucking deal of all for someone like Kate Marsh, who is basically the human equivalent of one of those penguins who mates one time and imprints for life or whatever!!!

Isn't... isn't that part of why she's been trying to push Katie away so hard all this time? So that she could find someone worth sharing that kind of thing with? Someone who didn't have partners in the double digits before her eighteenth birthday? Someone better than Victoria _fucking_ Chase?

Tears begin to sting her eyes all over again.

_Someone who could at least fucking remember doing it?_

Victoria's not sure what makes her feel worse: the thought that she may have fucked up something clearly so special to Kate; or that she seemingly has no memory of it _at all_.

Kate releases a deep, contented sigh, and this close Victoria can feel it gently caress her face and tickle the hairs of her nose, an earthy, vaguely tea-like scent filling her nostrils.

_What the hell, how is even her **morning breath** so nice?!_

Victoria closes her eyes and starts counting down from one hundred, doing her best to control her breathing. She's getting ahead of herself here, isn't she? All she knows right now is she woke up in bed next to Kate. Maybe she’s not the villainous thief of Kate’s maidenhood after all.

Maybe... maybe she just followed through on what she was thinking before she entered the party, about knocking on her door and asking for a good snuggle/cry.

_Just… slow down, Vic. Take stock of your surroundings… and maybe the pieces will fall into place._

Shifting around under the blanket a bit, Victoria confirms that she still has on her clothes from last night. So... that's a good sign. And Kate still has _her_ dress on and is on _top_ of the blanket to boot, so that's another point in favor of the girl's virtue remaining intact.

On the other hand, Kate could just be a hot sleeper who felt the need to dig out of the covers _after_ Victoria wickedly defiled her. And unless she's got a chastity belt hidden under that teasingly short dress, it likely wouldn't have slowed Victoria down _at all_. This isn't her first rodeo by a long shot, and she has _put in work_ with former partners under far more restrictive conditions.

Victoria opens her eyes again to look around for anything that might conclusively set her mind at ease.

…

What she sees _really_ doesn't help. Like, _at all_.

The first thing she notices is the towel that has pooled on the blanket between Kate's legs and her own. One that Victoria discovers to be damp to the touch when she (reluctantly) removes her hand from Kate's hip to inspect it.

_what_

Then there’s her couch, you know, that heavy mother-fucker that took two movers to wrangle into her room? _That_ has been pushed halfway across the room.

_WHAT_

But the real _coup de grâce,_ the one that kills off any hope that what passed between them was some chaste, innocent cuddling, is the realization that Kate is holding something in the hand that even now remains wrapped around her shoulder. Something cylindrical and metallic and...

_Is... is that an AIR HORN!?_

...

**_What kind of freaky ass shit did we get into last night?!?_ **

Yeah ok so Victoria is _definitely_ freaking the fuck out right now. _C’mon,_ being a virgin-killer is one thing... but turning said virgin into some kind of sodden, feng shui-practicing, air horn-wielding sex maniac after one presumably _glorious_ night is beyond the pale, even for her!

_What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck_

"What the fuck?!?"

Victoria didn’t intend to exclaim that last ‘what the fuck’ out loud, but it happens. And it has three immediate consequences… each less pleasant than the last.

First, Kate's eyes shoot open, the hazel orbs going wide with confusion, shock, and no small amount of fear as they lock onto Victoria's panicked globes.

Next, Kate seems to try to sit up, look around the room, and leap to her feet all at the same time, ultimately resulting in the poor girl rolling off the bed to crash hard onto the floor.

And finally, somewhere between that fall and the unceremonious landing that follows… Kate's hand clenches tightly around the air horn’s trigger.

**_* PWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP_** *

*****

If anyone out there has ever wondered what the loudest, most annoying sound on Earth might be, Victoria has an answer for you. It’s the **_PWAMP_** of a fucking industrial strength air horn fired in the middle of a 12’ by 8’ dorm room, followed by the _EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_ of your eardrums slowly liquifying for the next several minutes, right before they leak right out of your goddamn skull.

Victoria is sitting up in her bed with her hands clamped tightly over her ears, and her head is _SCREAMING_ in agony, and Victoria’s pretty sure _she’s_ screaming out every expletive she knows in multiple languages. But she can’t hear _anything_ over the overwhelming, incessant ringing.

Her vision is blurring from the pain, but Victoria can just barely make out Kate, standing a couple feet away from the bed now with her saucer-wide eyes locked on the door and holding that _absolute bastard_ of an air horn with both hands in front of her like it’s a _gun_ or something. And _oh, holy Christ is she about to do it AGAIN_?

Victoria leans as far as she can over the edge of the bed to flail for the girl’s arm, and if she could hear anything but _EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE_ right now she’s pretty sure it would be her own voice telling Kate she _better goddamn not_ or she’ll get _stabbed in the fucking face_.

She’s not sure whether Kate hears her threats or see her frantic waving, but thankfully _something_ makes her come to her senses. Dropping the evil device that could only have been crafted by the hands of the devil himself onto the floor, Kate slumps down onto her knees and begins rubbing at her own ears with an expression pained enough to match Victoria’s own.

As her tinnitus begins to fade, Victoria slowly becomes aware of a loud banging from the direction of her door, followed by a voice so nasal and bitchy it could only be coming from an extremely annoyed Brooke Scott.

It goes something like: “ _EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee_ _the fuck up_ some of us are trying to sleep it off in here!”

Every _BANG_ on that door feels like a nail being driven through Victoria’s skull, and it doesn’t seem like her neighbor is going to let up until she gets some kind of response. Sliding down to sit on the floor with her back to the bed, Victoria fires back:

“Fuh—Fuck off Scott! It’s none of your goddamn business ok? _You do know_ putting that ratchet-ass streak in your hair over the summer isn’t a substitute for _actually_ developing a personality, _right_?”

This earns her an indignant screech and another brain-splitting _BANG_ on the door, but at least Brooke seems to be moving away now as she yells “Oh my _GOD_ why do you _ALWAYS_ have to be such a _FUCKING BITCH_?!”

…

Victoria rubs at her eyes in an effort to will the throbbing in her skull away before peeking at Kate, who is resting on her knees with her face pressed up against the back of Victoria’s chair, moaning out a low “ _owwwwwwwwwwww_ ” as she removes her right hand from her ear.

“What the _fuuuuuuuuuuck_ , Kate?” Victoria groans.

Kate cracks her eyes open to meet Victoria’s gaze, and a look of embarrassed contrition passes over her face.

“I- I’m _sorry_ , I was startled and I fell out of bed and… and… and I accidentally tooted the air horn…”

“ _No shit_ , I was fucking there too, you know?” Victoria snaps, only barely managing not to let out a maddened cackle at how hilariously inadequate the word “ _tooted_ ” is for what just went down.

“Where the hell did you get that thing anyway, a goddamn train depot?”

“Oh! Umm… I bought it from—”

“It was _rhetorical_ …” Victoria whines with an annoyed sigh.

A silence passes between them, with Kate eying Victoria nervously while the latter studies the former cautiously, neither seeming to be sure what to make of each other at the moment.

Victoria _knows_ she should normally be freaking out at Kate right now, demanding to know what the hell happened last night, or falsely accusing her of using some kind of freaky voodoo-Jesus magic to trick her into bed, before forcibly kicking the girl out of her room. She _knows_ that, but… the sight of those hazel eyes, every fleck of gold exactly as it was in that strange dream of hers, stops that train of thought before it starts. She can’t deny that it’s making her heart flutter a bit.

And, as exasperated as she is, Victoria can’t help but stare at the _rest_ of Kate with growing fascination. With the smudged make-up highlighting those delicate Kate Marsh features, her un-bunned hair spilling down her spine and ending in a few sassy little curls, and that dress now riding so high up her thighs she almost feels the need to look away to preserve the girl’s modesty, Kate looks like something right out of one of Victoria’s wet dreams.

The longer she stares, the surer she is that it’s not remembering whatever they did that truly is bothering her most of all.

A million questions spring into Victoria’s mind, jockeying and fighting to earn the honor of being asked first… but they all fly out of her head when the girl finally lifts her face off Victoria’s chair enough to reveal the ugly bluish-purple bruise that covers the left side of her jaw and seems to be crawling its way up her cheek.

Victoria gasps at the sight of it, involuntarily leaning forward to reach out a tentative hand toward her face.

Kate leans her swollen cheek into Victoria’s hand, and she can feel the angry heat of it pulsing under her fingers. Despite the wince of pain it causes, she can see the girl’s expressive hazel eyes soften at her touch.

“ _Oh my God_ , Kate…” Victoria breathes, the concern inside her in a pitched battle with righteous, indignant anger at the sight of her wound. “What the hell happened… who _did_ this?”

_Whoever it is… I’ll kill them. I swear to God, I’ll…_

But fear wells up within her as the expression on Kate’s face shifts to one of… sadness. Fear. And concern of her own… but not for herself, for _Victoria._

“Victoria…” she starts, seemingly struggling for the words to say. “Victoria… how much do you remember from last night?”

Victoria begins shaking her head, increasingly frightened by the look in those hazel eyes as Kate scoots forward to kneel on the floor right in front of her. Those eyes are full of compassion, and kindness, and worry. They’re eyes that tell Victoria she's about to hear something she _really_ doesn't want to.

She… she hadn’t thought about Max all morning, is strangely enough the thought that runs through her head while the girl pauses for several long, agonizing moments. For that brief, blissful moment in time while lying in bed next to Kate, she had forgotten about all the drama and bullshit of the past couple days. Feeling that warmth next to her, she’d actually started to feel like she was slowly piecing herself back together.

But finally, Kate says the three words that blow Victoria’s whole fucking world right up again.

“… It was _Nathan_.”

*****

Kate reaches out to gently take her hands, and Victoria can see the swelling, the bruises, and the tiny little cuts on Kate's knuckles. It makes her sad and angry at the same time to see those delicate little hands, _artist's hands_ , marred in such a fashion. It feels like an unforgivable sin to bring harm to tools meant for the creation of beauty.

Victoria continues shaking her head as Kate soothingly rubs the back of her hands with her thumbs, silently begging the girl not to say it, not to make it real. To please just let them go back to a few minutes ago when all she felt was comfort and warmth, the feel of Kate's breathing, her hip underneath Victoria's hand, and the scattered remnants of a beautiful dream. She would just hold on tight and pretend she was asleep and pray Kate was too polite to wake her by breaking free of her embrace.

But that moment is gone now, Victoria fucked it up in spectacular fashion, just like she does with everything else in her life. And no amount of wishing can take her back there… no sane universe would trust an eighteen-year-old high school student with that kind of power.

And so, with nothing but compassion, and kindness, and understanding in her clear hazel eyes, Kate tells Victoria exactly what she doesn't want to hear. About Nathan following her into the locker room, with Kate close behind. Him unlocking the back entrance to take her out of the building unnoticed, and dragging her to his truck. Victoria struggling to get free of him when she saw Kate. The way Kate attacked him and hit him and hit him and him. How she is afraid she might have killed him if he hadn't managed to knock her down in a moment of distraction.

Victoria wants to deny it, is _desperate_ to deny it. She can feel the panic and anxiety swirling through her mind, like turbines spinning faster and faster and faster and _faster_ until a nuclear meltdown is imminent. She tries to block Kate out, floundering and lashing out with every alternative she can think of to explain away the fact that her best fucking friend in the world tried to kidnap her, and… what? _Hurt_ her? _Rape_ her?

But each time Victoria reaches the brink of losing control of her emotions, Kate brings her back. Grounds her with a soft touch. Calms her with her patient, reassuring voice. Reaches out to caress her cheek, drawing Victoria’s gaze back to those knowing, caring eyes.

And as her story unfolds, Victoria recalls scattered, blurry flashes of last night in her mind's eye: the smell of Nathan's cologne. The feeling of being dragged somewhere, somewhere she didn't want to go. Fear. Kate descending upon them like the wrath of God, her face a mask of fury.

_'LET HER GO!!!'_

She wants so desperately to disbelieve Kate. But God help her, she _can’t_.

Not just because of how she felt waking up beside her this morning… Peaceful. Relaxed. _Safe_.

And not just because those big, beautiful, expressive eyes don’t hold _anything_ back, don’t try to hide _anything_ from her… just as Victoria has found time and again that _she_ can’t hide anything from _them_ , either.

But the real clencher, the thing she can’t really deny or explain away, is the memory of how weird Nate was acting when he made that drink for her last night, the one she drank a few minutes before suddenly blacking out. And how much that reminds her of a certain incident from a few years back… a failed attempt by Victoria to drug Rachel Amber in an effort to steal the starring role in a school play. One that had ended up with Victoria herself passed out in the wet lawn of the school courtyard.

Now she understands why she has felt so much more than _just_ hungover all morning. The drink from a few years ago had been spiked with muscle relaxers, and Victoria felt like she’d been run over by a truck when she woke up.

This? This feels _a hundred times worse_.

Nathan fucking _dosed_ her.

Another soft squeeze from those tiny, damaged hands and a sweet smile pulls Victoria out of yet another spiral. She didn't even realize she'd been on the verge of hyperventilating before Kate stopped her.

"Victoria… do you remember protecting _me_ last night?" Kate asks, her eyes practically _shining_ with affection and admiration.

"When Nathan hit me, he went to get something out of his truck... and... and I couldn’t see what it was, but I was _so_ scared he was going to hurt you. I tried to move but I couldn't..." Tears start to slip down Kate’s cheeks, the terror she felt at that moment last night evident on her face even now.

"I thought I was about to die… and that there wouldn’t be anyone to keep you safe. But then _you_ laid down over top of _me_ , and you stated right at him… and told him to take you instead."

Victoria sniffles as she goggles at Kate, the girl’s words sounding at once entirely unbelievable and hauntingly familiar.

_Victoria pulls that fragile little light close to her chest, curling herself protectively around it to shield it from the hungering void. And she is falling, falling, falling… but she doesn’t care anymore. She would rather stay down here forever than allow something so beautiful to fade from this world._

"That... that really doesn't sound like me..." she finally mumbles, embarrassed.

"But you did… _you did_ … Oh God, Victoria, you were _so brave_..." Kate gushes, shining that beaming smile at Victoria… the one that melts her heart every time.

But Victoria turns away again, unable to bear that adoration, to see her look at Victoria like she's some kind of _hero_ or whatever, when she feels like anything but. _Kate’s_ the hero here, not her.

She feels like this whole goddamn week has been tearing her down, piece by piece. Her sense of security that everything in her life was moving along strictly according to her meticulous plans? Shattered by Max's sudden disappearance. Her self-worth, both as a lover and someone worthy of being loved? Gutted by their subsequent break-up. Her confidence as an artist, or at least the thin outer shell that she manages to display to the outside world? Crumbled by an endless string of rejection letters from galleries, and Jefferson's look of sneering disapproval at her pathetic attempt to sway the Everyday Heroes contest in her favor.

But this? Accepting the fact that her best friend _drugged_ her? That he was going to do God knows what to her if Kate hadn’t been there to stop him? And that the girl nearly got herself killed in the process? Of all the shitty things that have happened lately, _this_ fucking _breaks_ her.

With her face in her hands Victoria releases a wail full of betrayal and grief into her palms, one that goes on and on until she’s not sure whether she’s going to lose her voice or her fucking mind first. When she feels Kate slide in beside her against the bed and put a consoling arm around her, Victoria doesn’t hesitate to turn and cry into the girl’s shoulder instead, soaking in every solace-filled whisper, every soft stroke of her hair from those delicate, injured fingers. Those small acts of kindness may be the only things keeping her sane, as it feels like her very _soul_ is pouring out of her body right along with her bitter tears.

*****

For the next several minutes, Victoria alternates between sobbing in Kate’s arms, rubbing at her temples in an effort to fight off the splitting pain in her head, and gratefully accepting the long-haired girl’s pampering as she bustles about the room… fetching her water. Aspirin. Tidying up. Even managing to move the couch a foot or two away from the door, before Victoria catches her and waves her off.

However, Victoria does notice that something… heavy seems to be weighing on the girl’s mind. She sees it in the troubled, conflicted looks the girl shoots her from time to time, always replacing it with that sweet smile whenever Victoria turns to meet her eyes. And though Kate’s eyes always seem to glimmer with compassion for Victoria, she can’t help but catch the brief flashes of guilt in them. She can’t help but wonder what on Earth the girl would possibly have to feel guilty about… but she doesn’t pry. She figures she owes Kate that much, at least.

Finally, Victoria sniffles hard in a vain effort to clear her airways at the tail end of another long crying jag, before accepting the tissues Kate offers with another murmur of gratitude.

“How… how did you know?” She asks as she wipes at her mouth and nose, wincing at the ugly mass of tears and mucus the tissues come away with.

Kate awkwardly looks from Victoria’s mouth to the tissue and back again, her expression one of vicarious embarrassment that all but says _‘Uhh because you have snot all over your face, you dumb cunt?’_

Or whatever the Kate Marsh equivalent of that would be.

“I meant about the party, goober.” Victoria snarks, smirking a bit in an effort to take any sting out of her words. “In the locker room that day… you said I was in danger. That I shouldn’t go to the party. And then last night in the showers… how did you know?”

Kate flushes and contemplates her shoes for a few moments before answering.

“It… it won’t make a whole lot of sense.”

Victoria sniggers at that. “Well… it’s not like _anything else_ in my life makes any goddamn sense right now, so… try me, I guess?”

“I… I had a dream, a couple of weeks ago.” Kate finally says, hesitantly. Carefully… like she’s trying to hold something back. “In the dream I saw a lot of… strange things. But I also saw you sitting on the floor just like this, crying, and… and there was a shadow looming over you, like something or someone bad was coming for you. And then there was a bunch of people dancing around the pool, and then…”

More tears slip down her cheeks as her voice grows strained, and Victoria reaches over to sneak her right hand under Kate’s left. The girl squeezes the offered hand tightly before continuing.

“And then I saw you… you were lying on the floor somewhere, surrounded by all this bright light, and your hands and feet were tied together, and… and you looked right at me. You begged me to save you.” Kate covers her mouth with her free hand as the sob she’s been holding back escapes at last.

Victoria gently strokes Kate’s swollen hand with her thumb, just staring at the girl while she tries to compose herself. She doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to _believe_ , but… it’s obvious from the look of pain and fear in those hazel eyes that this is something she’s been struggling with. It breaks Victoria’s heart to think that she’s been carrying this burden all alone for weeks… and it makes her feel like _shit_ , too. Because it didn’t _have_ to be that way.

“That day…” Kate croaks, and clears her throat before carrying on. “That day before I found you in the locker room, I saw a poster about the party at the swimming pool, and… and I just _knew_ my dream was real. It was happening, and you were in danger, and… I panicked. I just couldn’t help myself, I had to find you, to _protect_ you…”

Victoria knows she _shouldn’t_ believe any of this. It’s crazy, and she’s not the kind of person to buy into visions and seances and all that woo-woo shit. And even if Kate’s dream did turn out to have some truth to it, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

_But on the other hand… this broken clock just saved my fucking life, so maybe that should earn her a **little** bit of faith, no?_

“I’m-I’m sorry, Victoria. I know my behavior has been… inappropriate, lately. I just didn’t know what to do. I was so scared, all the time, that something bad was going to happen. All I could think was to stay as close to you as I could. To try to protect you. I swore that I would even…”

A look of horror crosses Kate’s face, as though she just realized that she nearly said _much_ more than she meant to. Victoria doesn’t push, she just continues to rub Kate’s hand while waiting to see if she’s going to continue. When it seems like she won’t, Victoria runs a hand through her short, matted hair and sighs.

“It’s… whatever. You don’t have to apologize to me, you _saved_ my sorry ass. I’m the one who should be apologizing... for not believing you, for making you go through all this by yourself, for… for freaking out like I did that day. For _all_ the hateful shit I’ve said and done to you this past month.”

But Kate is shaking her head. “No, Victoria… it’s okay. You’re safe now, that’s all that matters to me.”

She giggles sheepishly, before adding “If I were in your shoes, I’m sure I wouldn’t believe me either.”

Victoria’s laugh is more sardonic than sheepish. “Yeah… but I bet you wouldn’t have pushed me into a locker over it either. You’d have probably sat me down to talk it out over tea and cookies.”

Kate playfully pushes at Victoria’s shoulder for that, but her grin says _‘Yep, I probably would.’_

An awkward silence falls between them, then, stretching on for a few minutes before Kate finally breaks it... that same troubled, guilty look flashing in her eyes before she turns to look away as she speaks.

“Is… Is there anything else you remember, about last night? F-from after we got back to the room…?”

Something about the conflicted tone of Kate’s voice, like she’s both hopeful and full of dread at the same time, and the way she refuses to meet her eyes as she asks the question makes Victoria look up sharply to search Kate’s profile for a few moments. It’s clear that Kate is struggling with whatever she’s asking about, but the suddenly reticent girl doesn’t seem like she’s going to give her anything more to go on than that. Victoria squeezes her eyes tightly shut and concentrates as hard as she can manage, but aside from the scattered frames of Kate fighting Nathan and the dream of being trapped in the well, it’s like the rest of the night is nothing more than an impenetrable black void.

Still… Victoria feels like she’s missing something. Something _important_.

“I don’t… I think Nate might have given me something that fucked with my head. If I… if I said or did anything weird, I… I didn’t mean it. It wasn’t _me_ …” And now Victoria is crying _again_ , but she doesn’t know _why_.

Christ, what the fuck did she _do_ last night?

Kate still won’t look at her, and Victoria is starting to panic.

“ _Please_ , Katie… what did I do? Did I hurt you? Fuck, I’m so sorry…”

When Kate finally does turn to face her, she’s smiling through her tears. “No, Victoria, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise…” Her smile widens as she reaches up to brush at the green-eyed girl’s damp cheeks.

“I think… I think you were just having a really wonderful dream.”

But Victoria doesn’t believe her. Kate’s smiling, but why do her eyes look like that, full of relief and sorrow and wistfulness all at the same time? Why can’t she shake the feeling that, for the first time, the always earnest, forthright girl is hiding something from her?

Kate’s hands remain on her cheeks as she continues. “And being close to you last night… I think that’s what I needed, too. And now… and now I can move on.”

Victoria freezes.

_Move on…?_

“What… what do you mean?” She asks, but she can already tell she doesn’t want to know the answer.

There’s a sadness in Kate’s eyes, now. The kind of sadness that reminds Victoria of a good thing coming to an end. But… at the same time, she also looks as though a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

“I… made a promise to someone. A very important one, but I couldn’t keep it while I knew you were in danger. I had to make sure you were safe first, but now… now I can fulfil that promise.”

_What the fuck does that mean? What kind of promise would she have to wait on me to…_

Victoria’s heart drops as she remembers that day on the roof a couple weeks back.

_‘I’m sorry, Kate. I can’t be what you want me to be. I hope you find someone who can…’_

Kate made a promise to someone else, and now she’s moving on.

_To someone better than me._

Victoria clenches her jaw tightly shut, pursing her lips and looking away as Kate leans forward to give her a sweet, chaste little kiss on the cheek. Victoria can feel heat on her skin, almost as though if she reached up she could feel the burning imprint that those red lips left behind.

…

This is what she wanted, right? It’s what she told Kate _and_ herself, over and over again. For Kate to find someone else, someone better. She did everything she could to make that happen, pushing the dogged girl away at every turn. And now that it’s finally happening, now that Kate’s finally done with her?

Now she finally realizes just how much she _doesn’t_ want it, after all.

Sometimes Victoria can’t even _believe_ how much of a selfish bitch she is. She can’t even begin to understand how Kate put up with her for this long.

She wants to grab Kate’s hand as she stands up, but she doesn’t.

She wants to stop her as she moves to the door, but she doesn’t do that either.

Kate opens the door, but hesitates before going through it, giving Victoria the barest sliver of hope. She doesn’t turn around when she speaks again in a quiet, gentle voice.

“Victoria… I need you to remember, that none of this is your fault. This is something I have to do for _me_. I know you think you’ve hurt me, but… I can honestly say that this past month has been the happiest of my life.”

She takes a step into the doorway.

“Kate…!” Victoria calls after her, and the girl freezes. She’s still facing the hall as she waits to hear what Victoria has to say.

_Don’t go._

_Come back._

_Wait for me._

Victoria wants to say all of those things, and more… but she can’t.

Because Kate made a promise to someone else.

Because she’s finally free of the yoke around her neck that is Victoria Chase.

But mostly… because despite all the bluster, all the outward self-confidence, all the false bravado… at her heart, Victoria has always been a _coward_ when it comes to the things that truly matter.

“You… you look really good.” She sniffles. “Kind of amazing, actually… you really should let your hair down more often.”

Kate finally does turn, and her hazel eyes are _shimmering_ with pride, and affection, and unshed tears. And the smile she gives Victoria makes the room suddenly seem twice as bright.

“Thank you... I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to hear you say that.” She pauses one final time, and the look she gives Victoria is so kind, and honest, and _pure_.

“You’re going to have an amazing life, Victoria Chase. I just know it. Don’t… don’t you forget about me, okay?”

And then the door closes behind her, and Victoria feels like the room is suddenly plunged into darkness.

…

She remembers the very first words she heard on that fateful morning she met Kate for the first time, as her stereo eased her into the waking world.

_‘Sky is light…’_

_‘You caught the light…’_

Victoria _did_ catch that light. She had caught it from the moment they saw each other out in the hallway, with Kate standing there in her cute sweatshirt and mom-jeans, and Victoria sans make-up, hair frizzy, and wholly unprepared to meet a cute girl. But all this time, she refused to let herself see it. She took every excuse, every opportunity to hide from the truth… to _run_ from it. And now?

Now she finally managed to let it slip right through her fingers.

*****

Sometime later, after that door closes behind Kate, and Victoria can hear the girl milling about in her own room for a few minutes before lightly padding further down the hall, Victoria finds herself reaching for a nearby drawer. Inside she finds a stack of photos, and shuffles through them with shaking hands until she finds one in particular.

It’s of her and Nathan, glaring at the camera with their tongues out and their hands raised with two fingers upright to form the shape of horns.

_Hail fucking Satan._

Victoria can feel her teeth grind as she stares into Nathan’s brown eyes, her hand shaking even harder than before. She wants to cry at the thought of what Nate tried to do with her, but she’s fresh out of tears. She wants to mourn the loss of her best fucking friend in the world, but she can’t with the image of Kate’s injuries so fresh in her mind. She wants to hide under her sheets and pretend this whole damn week never happened… but it did, and nothing she can do will change that.

All that’s left is rage.

Rage at the friend who betrayed her. Who drugged her. Who tried to hurt her. Who _DID_ hurt Kate.

But mostly? She feels rage toward the other person in the picture. His _enabler_. The “friend” who turned a blind eye to his every excess, who did everything in her power to make sure he never faced a single consequence of his own actions. His partner in crime, the Queen to his King.

“Fuck you.” She whispers, tearing the photo in half before shredding Nate’s side into tiny pieces.

She’s _done_ with this shit.

“ _Fuck you!_ ” Victoria repeats louder, shredding her own half as well, before ripping apart the rest of the photos in hand for good measure.

So fucking _done_.

Victoria turns her glare to the collection of selfies taking up space on the wall next to her door, and stalks over to them. The duck-faces. The smirks. The coquettish grins. Monuments to her vanity, every last one. She should burn them all. She settles for ripping them off the wall and tearing each one in two.

_I can’t have even ONE good thing in my life._

“I hate you!” she growls at the pile when she’s done.

_Not one GODDAMN thing!_

On a roll now, she rushes over to her bed, above which three over-sized prints are tacked to the wall between strands of LED rope lights. Victoria Chase, the aspiring photographer, destined to take the art world by storm… and which of her thousands of shots take up this place of prominence in her room? Which of her many models get that illustrious honor?

Why, _herself_ , of course.

Each shot was meant to make herself look sultry. Alluring. _Seductive_.

All she can see looking at them now is cold. Aloof. _Soulless_.

“I hate you!”

Victoria grips the photo of herself in boy shorts and tears it straight down the middle, leaving the outer edges still tacked to the wall.

“I _hate_ you!!”

The bikini shot at the beach follows the first to the floor.

“ _I hate you!!!_ ”

The print of Victoria in the white tube top and black skirt goes next.

She’s seething, her blood is boiling, when she rounds on her final target… none other than Victoria Chase herself, staring back at her from her standing mirror across the room. But she doesn’t see the hungover, puffy-eyed, bed-headed Victoria whose face is a mask of fury right now in that mirror. Instead, she sees the expertly made-up, impeccably dressed, perfectly coiffed Victoria with the ‘above-it-all’ sneer. The socialite. The heir to the Chase family name.

Reaching behind her, Victoria’s hand lands on the glow-in-the-dark figurine on her bookshelf, but after a moment’s thought gives it a reprieve. Agent Blueberry didn’t do a damn thing to deserve this. Instead she grabs a hardcover book: _RE-COLLECTION: Images by Mark Jefferson_. That’ll do.

With a mighty heave, she hurls the heavy book right at that smug, sneering face.

“I FUCKING HATE YOU!!!” She screeches.

The mirror shatters with a loud CRASH into a cloud of tiny glass shards.

If Brooke Scott has a problem with the noise _now_ , she sure as hell doesn’t say _shit_.

“I hate you… I hate you so fucking much…” she sobs as she sinks to the floor with her back against the bookshelf. She hates the insecurity. The egotism. The fear. The constant need for attention and approval.

Victoria Chase hates herself because she knows that the only obstacle to having even one good thing in her life is _herself_. The only thing preventing her from being the kind of person she would like to be, the kind of person who is worthy of loving someone and being loved in return, is _herself_.

_So, dumbfuck, I’m glad we can finally agree on something, but…_

_I guess the question is, what the fuck are you going to actually DO about it?_

…

Jiminy Vicket _had_ been suspiciously quiet, on today of all days. Victoria figures she doesn’t need her conscience to tell her shit she’s more than willing to scream aloud. But… the bitch has a point.

_What am I going to do? Wallow like I always do? But what fucking good has that done for me so far?_

_Kill myself? That’s probably Bitch-toria’s vote, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to shit all over Kate saving my life like that. Besides, I can’t die before I hunt down Nathan’s bitch ass and have his fucking balls for breakfast._

_So, what the hell is left?_

…

_What… what do I WANT, more than anything else right now?_

She knows the answer.

Victoria clenches her jaw tightly, eyes narrowing and hands clenching into fists as she stares a hole through the door. There _is_ one thing that she doesn’t hate quite as much as the rest… her determination. Her absolute drive to pursue a particular goal, doing whatever she must, using every dirty trick in the book if necessary, to achieve it.

She clings tightly to that part of herself as she grabs her phone. The time reads 11:23, which explains why the air horn incident didn’t cause more of a commotion… most of the dorm is probably attending their first classes of the day.

Victoria unlocks the device and starts scrolling for one contact in particular. She fights to suppress the rush of shame she feels at realizing the number is still blocked, at seeing all the missed calls from last night when she un-blocks it. She’ll have time to kick her own ass for that later, right now she needs to focus on getting shit _done_.

She taps out a message lightning fast, unable to resist the urge to smirk at the sheer symmetry of it.

\-----

Kate… can we talk?

It’s really important. – **10/11 11:23 AM**

\-----

Promise or no promise, if Kate thinks she can follow Victoria around like a crazy little puppy dog for a damn month and smile at her and bite her lip at her and make eyes at her and _make her feel things_ and _save her damn life_ … and then decide to just dip out of it like it’s no big deal? Well that bitch has another thing coming.

A phone chimes through the wall a few feet away from her. From Kate’s room.

Part of her knows she should sit back. Wait for a response. Let Kate talk to her on her terms.

But that part of her can go fuck itself. Whoever Kate made a promise to can go fuck themselves too. Victoria is playing to _win_ , and _winners_ don’t wait for anything to be handed to them.

She slams the door behind her as she stalks out of her room.

*****

**Girls' Dormitory: 2 nd Floor Hallway**

Victoria plants herself firmly in front of Kate’s door. She already checked the showers and bathroom to make sure Kate wasn’t in there first, and since she highly doubts Miss Christian America 2013 is planning to go to class dressed like an extra on _Soul Train_ , Victoria figures her room is the only other place she could be right now. The fact that she hasn’t received a text back probably isn’t a good sign for Kate actually wanting to talk at the moment, but that’s ok… all Victoria needs for her to do is _listen_.

“ _MARSH!_ ” Victoria calls, giving the girl’s door three loud _BANGs_ before catching herself.

_WHOA Christ Vic, maybe take it down a notch or twelve?!_

“Shit! Uhh… force of habit, sorry… I’m gonna start over, ok?”

Victoria takes a deep breath and gives the door three _polite_ knocks this time before trying again.

“… Kate? It’s ok if you don’t want to talk to me right now. I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t, because… I know I’m kind of a mess, ok? I’m like the Queen of Mixed Signals or whatever… especially when it comes to you. To be fair my life has kinda been a fucking train wreck for a long time now, and I have a hard time dealing with shit when everything isn’t going _exactly_ according to plan. And I mean... I think we both can agree that there’s no fucking way someone like _me_ could ever in a million years plan for someone like _you_ , am I right?”

She gently lays her palm on the door, wondering what the possibility of Kate doing the same on the other side might be.

“The thing is… you might not have noticed, because I hide it pretty well, but… I really don’t like myself very much. _I know right_ , you’re probably like, seriously? Victoria Chase has everything, what’s not to like? But… it’s all meaningless. Stupid fucking pointless bullshit. None of it makes me happy, and when I finally find something that does… I get scared. And I run away from it because I’m so afraid that I’m going to fuck it all up, and that I won’t be able to handle it when I do.”

Victoria knows she’s rambling a bit, but she’s actually pretty happy with how this is turning out. Which makes her really hope Kate is actually in there because she’s almost positive she won’t be able to remember all this a second time.

“I don’t… I don’t know what I _want_ , ok? But… one thing I do know is that I really need a friend like you in my life. And not just because you saved me last night… I’ve been needing it for a while, but just couldn’t bring myself to admit it 'til now. And I know you made a promise to someone… and if that means you can’t deal with my ass anymore, I understand. But I realized just now that probably the only way I could hate myself even more than normal… is if I didn’t at least _try_.”

There’s still no response, which is making Victoria feel kind of worried. Kind of _sick_ , actually, now that she thinks about it.

“Katie? Please, just… talk to me. I just… I really don’t want to leave it like—”

_‘Please don’t leave me again, Katie. **Please** … **Please** don’t go…’_

Victoria’s stomach lurches _hard_ , and she sags into the door. _WHAT_ … the _FUCK_ … was that?

It was her voice, she can _feel_ the words on her own mouth, but she doesn’t _remember saying them_. Was that… from last night? Is that what Katie—

_A kiss, desperate and yearning. Soft lips, wet tongue. The taste of cherries mingled with salty tears._

It was _Kate_. _Victoria was kissing Kate_ , but… she wasn’t _herself_. It didn’t _feel_ like herself. It felt like… some _other_ Victoria. One that knows _why_ she feels so guilty and grief-stricken when she looks at Kate sometimes.

One that knows how much of a _miracle_ it is for Kate to smile at someone like her with eyes so full of... of...

Victoria’s throat constricts in an effort to stave off the bile rushing up from her stomach. She slaps her hand weakly against the door. “Kate…? Katie… I think... something’s wron—”

_‘I’d—I’d give anything to take it all back! It… it should have been me up there, not you.’_

Something’s _definitely_ wrong. Aside from the fact that she might be in the middle of a psychotic break, Victoria’s head is swimming, she can barely stand, and she’s pretty sure she’s about to puke. She stumbles toward the bathroom, which thankfully is right next door to Kate’s, and hurriedly starts the tap on the first sink she comes across. Sticking her head down into the bowl, she thirstily slurps at the cool water in an effort to control her urge to vomit.

After a few big gulps, she thinks it might be working. Her stomach is settling a bit, the room isn’t spinning so bad. Maybe it was just a passing—

Victoria freezes, her eyes going wide at the almost imperceptible wet noise coming from directly above and in front of her. Her eyes are drawn to a splash of red on the mirror… one that seems to be _spreading_.

She stands up straight and stumbles backward a few steps, her face going white with horror as she realizes what she’s seeing. It’s… it’s _lipstick_. Red lipstick. _Victoria’s shade_ , forming letters on the mirror as though being written by an invisible hand.

**_HTTP://KATESVID.C--_ **

Victoria turns and flees into the stall behind her, both to get away from that freaky ass mirror and because the bile is now uncontrollably _surging_ up her throat. She slams down to her knees on the tile floor, gripping the toilet bowl tightly with both hands.

_WHAT THE UNHOLY FUCK IS EVEN HA—_

_WhatsupKateSchoolThatsitThatvideoofyouclubbingdidntlook_ _likehomeworkVictoriathatwasntmeOhmyGodRightDontbeshy_ _Ithinkitsawesomeyousetatonguerecordonvideo._ **_You’re going to be sorry someday_**. _OhboohooImsorryyoureaviralslutImsureshehadfunLookslikeitIknowNathanhookedherupAndyouknowhehasthegoodshitPreachitsistaAnywayLetsleavethelinktoKatesvideosoeverybodygetsachancetoseeherinactionYouaresuchanevilbeeatchIloveit._

Victoria violently expels the contents of her stomach at the same time that these... these _fucking_ _voices_ forcefully infiltrate _her mind_. She can hear Taylor, and herself, and… and _Kate_ , but it’s all going so fast she can barely--

_AnybodyseenKateMarshIthinkeverybodyhasseenKateMarshbynowShesnotfeelinggood_ _SoundslikeyouregigglingaboutavideogoneviralYosomecrazyshitisgoingdownatthegirlsdorm_ _CheckitDidyouseethatIsthisforrealBitchflippedoutIdidntthinkshewasthatmessedup_ _OhmyGodWhoisthatupthereOhnoIsthatKateThatchickisrightontheledgeIfshejumpsshe_ _mightnotdieYesshewillDon'tComedownGetdownPoorKateThatfuckingviralvideo._

 ** _KATIE_** _!!!_

Water and bile and the remnants of alcohol-soaked cookies splatter wetly into the bowl from the force of another mighty heave. But Victoria doesn’t look down at what's coming out of her... because it feels _evil_. Because, for some reason, she's afraid that if she does look, she might see something black and slithering and hungry and _wrong_ mingled in.

There are _so many_ voices now clamoring inside her head…. Alyssa and Jefferson and Dana and Courtney and _everyone_ , and they’re all _screaming,_ and _her_ voice is screaming along with them, and she wants to fucking scream for real but she can’t do anything except retch as—

**_I'd like to dedicate this prize to the memory of Kate Marsh..._ **

**_She was the real "everyday hero" of Blackwell..._ **

Her throat convulses around another hot wave of vomit, and it just goes on and on and on, forcing its way out her mouth and through her nose. And there’s no way, there’s _just no way_ she could have this much left by now, but it just keeps coming. It feels like she’s purging all the anger, fear, envy, and hatred that she’s stored up inside of her all these years in a steady stream, her neck muscles bulging and some of the blood vessels in her eyes popping from the strain of it.

…

Finally, after what seems like an eternity… it stops. Victoria remains hovering over the bowl for several seconds, her whole body shaking and her eyes tightly shut as she waits for another wave to hit. When it doesn’t, she raises her hand up to her nose to blow the remaining stinging, raunchy fluid out one nostril, and then the other. She flushes the toilet with a weak slap while standing on quaking legs, but doesn’t open her eyes again until after she’s escaped the stall and stumbled back over to the sinks once again, using the still running water to rinse and gargle and spit the foul taste from her mouth.

Hesitantly, Victoria peeks up at the mirror, and nearly cries out in relief when she sees that the phantom lipstick is gone. The voices in her head are gone now too, leaving her in blissful silence… but the panic and anxiety they brought along with them remains as strong as ever. She wants to tell herself that she’s just losing it a bit, that the stress of the past couple days is finally getting to her, but… it just felt so _real_. It felt like she was _there_ , wherever _there_ was, with all those people shouting right into her ear.

Holding herself upright with her arms on either side of the sink, Victoria concentrates on what she can remember of the words that flew through her mind. She still can’t make out everything those voices were saying… It was all going too fast, with one voice overlapping the other at times. But she caught enough to understand that it was mostly about Kate, and herself, and some kind of video, and…

Victoria freezes again, her eyes slowly rising upward to the ceiling almost of their own accord.

‘ _It… it should have been me up there, not you._ ’

… and the _roof_.

Kate’s words from a few minutes ago come rushing back to her, and Victoria suddenly sees them through new eyes. _Horrified_ eyes.

‘ _And now… and now I can move on._ ’

_‘I need you to remember, that none of this is your fault. This is something I have to do for **me**.’_

_‘You’re going to have an amazing life, Victoria Chase. I just know it. Don’t… don’t you forget about me, okay?’_

Victoria’s mouth goes dry as her heart begins to race once more. She _knew_ it, when Kate was in her room asking about what she remembered, saying that it was time to move on. She _knew_ she was missing something, something _important_. She was a fucking _idiot_ for not hearing it before in the words Kate was using… as always, she was making it all about herself.

Kate was saying good-bye, but not to _Victoria_. She was saying good-bye to _everything_.

_No… no no no no no NO NO NO NO!!! FUCK THAT!!!_

Victoria shakes her head furiously, fear and anger crashing and merging together into fiery resolve. She’ll be God _damned_ if she’s going to let Kate hurt herself, not after everything the girl has done for her. She absolutely refuses to let that happen.

Flinging the bathroom door open, Victoria _sprints_ for the stairwell.

_I won’t let you… I won’t…!_

… She _won’t_ let Kate fall.

*****

**Girls' Dormitory - Rooftop**

Victoria is breathless, her shoeless feet -- clad only in the dirty, running tights she’s been wearing since the night before -- are bruised and bleeding in places as she charges up the last few hard stone steps to reach the roof access door. She doesn’t care about the pain. She doesn’t feel it at all. Only one thought repeats in her head like a mantra. Like a _prayer_.

_Please don’t let me be too late. Please…_

When she at last pushes open the door and stumbles out onto the roof, her heart skips with relief. Kate Marsh stands about ten feet away, halfway between Victoria and the ledge, the wind whipping and tugging at her long, dirty-blonde locks. Her back is turned, head bowed and arms folded in front of her like she’s holding her hands together in prayer.

_She’s here. Oh, thank Christ, she’s still here._

For a split-second Victoria can’t decide if she should call out to her or run to her, but just that quick, the choice is taken out of her hands. Because the moment her green eyes landed on Kate’s back, the girl’s body tenses up… her hair flailing to the side as she whips her head around to look over her shoulder.

When Kate’s hazel eyes meet Victoria’s, they go wide with surprise, recognition… and _terror_.

“Ka—”

Before the word is even out of her mouth, Kate turns and scrambles towards the roof’s edge.

Victoria moves to chase her, to catch her before she can make it to the ledge, but after a single step the blood-slicked stocking on her right foot slips on the smooth tile, sending her crashing hard onto her hands and knees. All she can do is uselessly reach for the girl as she cries out “ _KATIE!!!_ ”, sure that she’s about to watch the girl disappear from her life forever.

But somehow, by some _miracle_ … Kate stops. At the sound of Victoria’s voice shouting her name, she stops just three feet from the ledge. She’s still facing away, but she isn’t moving forward. Victoria will take that any day of the week.

Victoria winces as she unsteadily rises to her feet. She doesn’t know why Kate is trying to do this… all she knows is that she has to stop her. She tries to summon the perfect words to coax the girl safely away from that ledge, but the panic has made her mind go blank.

_Don’t fuck this up, Vic! Say something. ANYTHING._

She says the first thing that pops into her head.

“So… what, are you trying to say the kiss was _THAT_ bad?”

Victoria groans inwardly as soon as the words leave her mouth _._

_SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT!_

At the very least it causes Kate to turn, spinning around on her heel as she raises a hand to her lips, her face the very picture of shock.

“The… the kiss…?” She asks, breathlessly. Her eyes are wide with confusion, and trepidation and… and maybe some tiny sliver of hope. At least _Victoria_ hopes that’s what she sees, anyway.

“Y-yeah,” she gulps, trying to ignore the fact that she is internally FREAKING THE FUCK OUT right now.

“I admit I don’t remember it too well… but it seemed like a pretty good one to me. At the very least no one I’ve kissed in the past has ever lost their will to live, so…”

Kate’s jaw drops open, her mouth working wordlessly for a few moments. When she does speak her voice is incredulous as she cries out “Are… Are you _making fun of me_ right now!?”

“No! Shit, I’m sorry ok!” Victoria takes a hesitant step forward, but stops immediately when the motion causes Kate to step back. Instead she holds up her hands in placating fashion.

“I’m just really fucking nervous right now and I don’t know what to say and… and I really just wanted to make you laugh…”

Kate’s eyes soften only by the barest fraction, so Victoria tries a different tack.

“Look… I won’t pretend I have any idea what’s going on, but… whatever’s bothering you, I _swear_ we can fix it. Whatever it is, it isn’t worth leaving your family, or your cute little bunny, or…”

_Or me._

That does make the girl laugh, but it’s a bitter one and very _not_ like Kate Marsh. She rolls her eyes, raising a stiff hand to swiftly wipe away a pair of tears. There’s a bite in her voice when she huffs “My family? Yeah, right. If my Mom or Aunt Marsh knew I was going to parties dressed like a… a… like _this_ ,” she motions to her dress “… and _kissing girls_ they’d probably push me off the roof _themselves_.”

Anger flares up in Victoria at the sound of that, and she responds in the only way she knows how.

“Then… then _FUCK_ your Mom!” Victoria growls. Kate jumps a bit at this, though whether it’s the words she said or the ire with which she said them, Victoria’s not sure.

“Fuck your Aunt too! If they can’t get over the fact that you’re a lesbian then you don’t fucking _need_ them!”

Kate looks down at her shoes, blushing furiously while she mumbles “I… I don’t know for sure if I’m a… a…”

“Or bi! Or… or Katy Perry or _whatever!_ Point is, the people in your life who really matter will accept you for who you are. What about those sweet little girls you showed me? I bet they want their big sister to be _alive_ no matter _who_ she kisses.”

That definitely gives Kate pause, and Victoria can see the shame in her eyes at not having considered their feelings. When the girl glances away, Victoria takes another small step closer.

“Your friends too... I know Stella and Alyssa and Warren would miss you. And... And _I_ would too. You missed it just now but I was trying to tell you through your door just how much I want... How much I _need_ someone like you in my life."

Kate smiles that sweet, sad little smile, her tears flowing freely now.

"You... really did? You're not just saying that?"

Victoria nods, not even bothering to fight the pair of tears that are now slipping down her own cheeks. Seriously, how much saline can one body even have?

"I did..." she chuckles ruefully while wiping her face. "It was a pretty damn good speech too. The debate team can kiss my ass. Look, Kate... I know I'm a dipshit who can't see what's right in front of her face until it's too late, but... I think I'm finally getting there. So, please don't leave me here to wonder how different things would be if I stayed here with you last night... or in Mrs. Hoida's class... Or if I just went on that stupid fucking tea date with you. I don't... I don't think I can handle that."

Kate brings her hands up to her mouth as though she's fighting back a sob, and Victoria can clearly see that she wants to stay. _She does_. But... why are her eyes still so _sad_? Why doesn't she just come to her?

Victoria takes another step forward... but Kate steps back again, heart-stoppingly close to the ledge now. The girl could just about touch it if she reached out behind her.

"I can't..." Kate shakes her head, her voice weak and strained with emotion. "I'm sorry, but I _have to do this_. It's... it's _what God wants._ "

Victoria's jaw hangs open, her mouth working silently until she manages to find her words again.

"Kate... _No_... that's… that’s _bullshit_! You're just... confused right now, ok? I know from experience how depression can trick you into thinking..."

" _BUT IT'S TRUE!_ " Kate nearly shrieks, and seeing such anger for the first time from a girl so normally meek would have been enough to make Victoria jump back a few paces if she didn't steadfastly refuse to give up any ground right now.

"I've _dreamt_ about this since I was _thirteen years old!_ The same kind of dreams that showed me you were in danger... you can't _tell me_ that wasn't real!"

" _KATIE_ just listen to me!" Victoria pleads. She would drop to her knees and beg if she wasn't so terrified that she might have to sprint for the girl at any moment.

"Just... Just think about it, alright? In these dreams, did God or whatever actually _tell you_ 'Hey Kate, I'd really like it if you'd kill yourself, kthxbye'?"

Victoria regrets the glibness of her words almost immediately upon seeing Kate's eyes narrow, and something akin to disappointment crossing her face for the first time she’s aware of.

Now, Victoria is no stranger to being the source of disappointment. She’s seen Jefferson give her and her work that look often enough, and it’s pretty much her natural state of being when it comes to her relationship with her parents. Hell, she’s been disappointed with _herself_ at least once a day, if not more, for as long as she can remember.

But to see it in _Kate's_ eyes sucks a thousand times worse.

"This... this is all a big freaking joke to you, isn't it?”

“No, Kate, I—”

“Just 'Creepy' Kate Marsh being dramatic again, _right_?"

“Please just—”

“Even after…” Kate sniffles miserably. “Even after I—”

“ _I FUCKING BELIEVE YOU, OK?!_ ”

Victoria didn’t mean to allow as much bite into her voice as she did, but she is so far out of her depth here. She doesn’t know _what_ she’s supposed to say, how to act. Victoria doesn’t know if the girl needs a therapist or an _exorcist_ more right now. She feels like Kate is drowning, and she’s diving headfirst into the water to save her but she didn’t think to bring a life vest, and by the way _Victoria_ never learned to swim either.

Thankfully her outburst managed to shock Kate into silence for a few seconds, some of the resentment at having her faith question draining from her face. So, Victoria presses on.

" _Christ!_ Trust me, I know how much of a heinous bitch I've been to you... I fucking hate myself for it! And if you hate me too... I understand. _I deserve it._ "

A look of anguish passes over Kate, as she stammers "N-no, Vic-Victoria I c-could _never_ -"

But Victoria steamrolls right over her, terrified of letting go of the advantage while she has it.

“I believe you because… _I’ve_ been dealing with shit I can’t explain, too. That’s… that’s how I knew to come up here. And that’s why I think you’re _wrong_...”

It’s Kate’s turn to work her mouth wordlessly for a few moments. “I don’t… I don’t understand…”

“I don’t either, Katie… but the voices I’ve been hearing in my head? They were talking about _you_. They’re _always_ about you. So, either we’re both going schizo, or… or God or the universe or whatever sent me up here to _stop_ you. To _save_ you… like you saved me.”

“But what if _YOU’RE_ wrong?” Kate cries, the turmoil flowing and billowing out of her like a sea of boiling water. “What If this is a test of faith… What if I fail _AGAIN_ and something terrible happens to you… Victoria, I _CAN’T_ take that chance, I _CAN’T_!!!”

_If something happens to… me?_

All the lightbulbs in the fucking lightbulb factory go off at once.

Of course, Of fucking course it’s about her. It didn’t make sense why she was so committed to the idea of killing herself, why Victoria was having so much trouble getting through to her after everything they’ve shared, everything they’ve been through. Somehow, Kate believes she’s responsible for Nathan trying to hurt her. Kate believes that if _she_ doesn’t die, _Victoria_ will.

_SHIT!!!_

Even in Kate’s dreams Victoria somehow manages to find a way to make her want to hurt herself.

_No. NO. FUCK THAT. FUCK—_

“Then… _FUCK_ God!!!” Victoria shouts, not even bothering to keep the fury in check any longer. Kate’s face goes _white_.

“If He really is _that_ much of a sadistic fucking asshole then He can _GO FUCK HIMSELF_. And if He has a problem with that, He can come down here and say it to my _FUCKING FACE_ so I can smack His bitch-ass down _myself_ for doing this to you!”

If Kate was shocked before, she’s absolutely dumbfounded now. Victoria can almost see the Blue Screen of Death floating around behind her eyes. _‘ :( Your Katie ran into a problem and needs to restart.’_

Victoria can barely catch her breath. Her heart is racing, and she’s broken out into a cold sweat from the panic coursing through her veins. If she hadn’t already puked her guts out earlier, she’d probably be projectile vomiting from here all the way to Kate’s shoes.

She knows that if there was ever a time to convince Kate to step away from that ledge, it’s now. But she doesn’t know _how_. How the hell is she supposed to talk someone out of a religious belief they’ve held onto so strongly for years? Victoria’s not a therapist _OR_ an exorcist. She’s not _qualified_ for this shit.

_What the fuck am I supposed to DO?!_

…

_Do what you do best, **dipshit**._

_You’re a ruthless fucking bitch. Find a weakness…_

_… and **exploit** it._

_So, what’s Kate’s weakness? What’s the one thing she thinks about? Cares about?_

_What she obsesses over so much that she can’t play violin. Can’t study. Can’t **sleep**._

…

_Me._

If Kate thinks she can sacrifice herself for _her_ worthless ass, Victoria sure as _shit_ isn’t gonna make it easy on her.

Victoria’s eyes harden. Her jaw sets. Her lips compress into thin white lines.

“You know, Katie… I’m still _really_ fucking pissed at you” she practically growls.

This draws the dirty blonde out of her stupor, her face beginning to reflect some of the panic that Victoria feels.

“ _Wh… why?_ ” Kate stutters, her voice anxious, confused.

Just the way Victoria wants her.

_Time for the low **fucking** blow._

“Isn’t it obvious?!” Victoria glowers, pausing just long enough to angrily wipe the tears from her own eyes. “You were there, at the party, all glammed up… _watching_ me all goddamn night…”

Emeralds sharp enough to cut glass meet soft, shimmering hazel as Victoria channels every ounce of sadness and grief over the month what could have been into her voice.

“… and you didn’t even ask me for _one_ dance?”

…

It takes a few beats for the girl’s mind to catch up to Victoria’s words. But when it does, Kate’s face _crumples_.

“ _I wanted to…!_ ” She wails, her face a mess of pain and tears and the remnants of last night’s make-up.

“ _I wanted to so much…!_ ”

Victoria’s chin quivers, her tears flowing to match Kate’s own. She desperately holds onto the last shreds of anger within her as she holds her right hand out to Kate, fingers splayed invitingly. _Challengingly_.

“Then _prove_ it.”

Kate’s gaze drops to the empty space between them, her eyes filled with terror as though she expects the roof tiles to turn into boiling lava at any second.

“I can’t…” she pleads. “I can’t…”

Victoria is close enough that she could probably close the distance and grab hold of Kate if she is quick enough. And she’ll do it, if she has too… even if it means she goes over the ledge with her. But Victoria really wants _Kate_ to make this choice. _Needs_ Kate to make this choice.

The choice to stay with _her_.

Victoria’s breath starts to hitch, drawing Kate’s eyes back to her own. Only through sheer force of will does she manage to control her emotions well enough to speak.

“You… you said you’d n-never leave me. You _promised_. Was… was that all a lie?”

“No…!” Kate moans. “No, I don’t _want_ to—”

“ _THEN FUCKING PROVE IT!_ ” Victoria sobs.

She doesn’t know exactly _what_ she wants from this crazy, brave, weird, tenacious, damaged, ferocious, _beautiful_ girl in front of her. Her head’s too fucked up from trauma and break-ups and druggings and betrayal to think that far ahead.

All Victoria knows for sure is that she doesn’t want her to go.

She holds her left hand out to match her right as though inviting Kate into an embrace. And though her lips are trembling and her eyes are shining with tears, Victoria smiles. It’s a rare smile that hides behind no armor. No walls. No bullshit. It’s a smile that tells Kate how happy she’d make her if only she chooses to stay by her side.

Victoria stops breathing, her heart stops beating, as Kate holds both hands to her mouth, her entire body quivering as she shifts her anguished, hopeful stare from Victoria to the roof tiles and back again.

…

Finally, Kate closes her eyes… and takes one hesitant, shaky step forward.

When her foot lands solidly on the tile in front of her, her eyes shoot back open. And suddenly, there’s no more conflict within them. No more fear. All that blazes within those mesmerizing hazel eyes are relief, devotion, and _joy_. The joy of bearing witness to a miracle. The joy of a dream come true.

Kate unleashes a sobbing cry of pure exultation as she _runs_ to Victoria, burying her face in the taller girl’s neck as she practically _flings_ herself into her arms. The force of their bodies colliding spins them around, nearly threatening to topple the both of them over.

But Victoria keeps her balance.

Victoria holds on tight.

Victoria doesn’t let Kate fall.

*****

God only knows how long Kate and Victoria stood on that rooftop, bawling into each other’s necks as they clung tightly to one another. Each moving their hands over the other’s back as though desperate to make sure that they’re really there. That Victoria _isn’t_ a figment of Kate’s imagination. That Kate is fucking _alive_.

At some point Victoria’s legs gave out and she sagged to her knees, not caring that she pulled Kate down with her because she sure as _shit_ wasn’t about to let her go. Her voice was a unique mixture of anger, relief, and elation as she growls into the girl’s ear.

“You can’t fucking _do that_ … don't you _ever_ scare me like that again…”

“I won’t…” Kate sobs. “I won't... I _promise_ …”

They blubber at each other, there on their knees under the midday sun, matting each other's hair and shoulders with a lovely mixture of snot and tears. Victoria alternating between threatening Kate and telling her everything will be ok. Kate swearing she'll stay, that she won't leave her.

Victoria is sure they would look like a couple of blithering lunatics to anyone who might pop up here for a smoke, but she doesn't care. The whole of Arcadia Bay can line up to kiss her fine ass if they want: Kate is ok. They're _both_ alive... and after the week they've had, that's saying a _whole_ fucking lot.

Now that they’ve reached a point where their wails and frantic words have cooled into sniffles and questioning glances, Victoria finally disengages to stand up, futilely brushing at her increasingly filthy clothes in the process. Still on her knees, Kate looks up at her with a mixture of awe and trepidation. Like she can’t believe this is really happening. Like she has no idea what comes next.

Victoria doesn’t either. But there is one thing she’d really like to do, so she figures they can start there. Offering her hand to Kate once more, she raises an eyebrow then asks:

“So… how about that dance?”

Kate blushes furiously, looking down at her own disheveled clothing at the same time she reaches up to touch at her face as though feeling for her make-up.

“Whuh… y-you mean _here_? _Now_?” she asks, suddenly nervous.

Victoria smiles down at her. “Yeah… I mean we’re both still dressed for the party, right? And you did say you’d prove you wanted to, so… why wait?”

Kate’s hands grip tightly to the hem of her dress as she frets “B-but… there’s no music…”

Victoria smirks and pulls out her phone, waggling it demonstratively.

“Oh, maybe the news hasn’t made it all the way to Amish country yet, but they make these magic boxes now called “cellphones”. They let you watch movies and play music whenever you want! Hell, I’ve even got Pornhub on this bad boy!”

Kate’s blush deepens as she bites her lip, but when she meets Victoria’s gaze, her hazel eyes are so full of insecurity and self-doubt that it makes the short-haired blonde’s heart _ache_. Victoria knows those feelings all too well.

“You… _really_ want to?” Kate asks. “W- _with_ _me_?”

Victoria doesn’t flinch from those eyes when she sincerely answers “I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather dance with right now.”

Kate’s resulting smile is small, and sweet, and tremulous. Another tear runs down her cheek as she finally takes Victoria’s hand, eagerness winning out over her nerves.

After helping her up, Victoria scrolls through her playlist in search of the perfect song. When her eyes settle on one, she can’t help but grin deviously while pressing play.

Kate’s brow furrows in confusion as the fast-paced, thumping base starts to blare through the phone speakers. Her eyes narrow suspiciously, however, when the vocals kick in.

_‘I like big butts and I cannot lie’_

_‘You other brothers can’t deny…’_

The girl gives Victoria an eye roll, tilting her head with her mouth stretching into a half-frown as though silently asking _‘Really?’_

“ _Whaaaat?_ ” Victoria asks, mock-innocently. “My anaconda really _don’t_ want none unless…”

“ _I think I’ve changed my mind._ ” Kate huffs with mock _annoyance_ as she starts strolling back toward the ledge.

“ _WHOA_ , the fuck?! I’m stopping it, ok, calm down!” Victoria jams at her phone, before giving the girl an irritated pout.

“God damn, you’ve never heard the phrase, ‘too soon?’”

Kate grins sheepishly as she turns, giggling and practically skipping back over.

Victoria shakes her head as she scrolls, grumbling. “Ugh, what the hell am I getting myself into? I don’t think I know how to deal with a Kate Marsh who’s got _jokes_.”

Finally selecting a song, for real this time, Victoria bends down to set her phone on the ground as a soft piano melody begins to play. But when she meets Kate’s gaze once again, her breath catches in her throat at the look of honest, intense _yearning_ in the girl’s eyes.

She… she still doesn’t understand what she ever did to deserve being stared at like that, especially by Kate. Her pulse quickens as her own nerves begin to kick in, and she has to suppress the urge to look away. Victoria has hidden to protect feelings, both Kate’s and her own, for so long… for _too_ long. Whatever this is… she doesn’t want to hide from it anymore.

_‘Time is gonna take my mind’_

_‘And carry it far away where I can fly...’_

Victoria’s uncharacteristically hesitant grin is met by Kate’s shy smile as the green-eyed blond holds out an inviting hand.

Kate’s hand trembles as her fingers interlace with Victoria’s. The shorter girl puts her other hand on Victoria’s shoulder, while her partner rests hers on Kate’s sequined hip. Slowly they begin to sway side to side, in perfect time to the hauntingly bittersweet music.

Standing this close, feeling the warmth radiating off the tiny girl in front of her, Victoria is finally beginning to understand what some of her favorite fanfics mean when they describe things like ‘the world falling away around them’. On some level, she understands that they’re still standing on the very roof where Kate was going to try to end her life. That the trauma of what she’s gone through this week with Max and especially Nathan is still there, will still need to be dealt with. But looking into Kate’s eyes, those fucking _gleaming_ hazel eyes… none of it seems to matter.

_'But I put my arms around you... around you_

_and I hope that I can do no wrong'_

Victoria let’s go of Kate’s hand to pull her in closer as they spin in slow circles, both of her own hands meeting at the small of the girl’s back. Kate’s gaze never leaves her for a moment… she barely even _blinks_ as she searches Victoria’s green eyes with her own.

Finally, Kate raises up on her feet a little so that she can rest her head on Victoria’s shoulder. She can feel the girl trembling in her arms as she asks in a voice so quiet it can barely qualify as a whisper:

"What… what does this mean…? For… _for us_ …”

The fragile hope in Kate’s voice summons tears to Victoria’s eyes yet again, and she rests her cheek in the girl’s hair while contemplating her question.

“I… I don’t know. Not for sure…” she answers honestly, and she can feel a slight tensing in her dance partner’s shoulders at the words. Victoria swallows hard, before she continues.

“I’m scared… I’m always scared, but I think what scares me the most is the thought of actually finding something _real_. Because… I’m afraid that I’ll mess it up. That I’ll hurt you. And that losing it would be worse than never having it at all.”

_'My eyes are on you... they're on you_

_And I hope that you won't hurt me'_

She pulls away enough to prompt Kate to look up at her again, and Victoria reaches up to brush a long strand of honey-colored hair from the girl’s face. “But… I don’t _want_ to be scared anymore. I… I _want_ to see where this goes.”

Kate bites her lip as she nods, the sunlight glistening off her damp cheeks.

Victoria’s chin quivers, her voice creaking as she stares into those eyes. “You’ve been so patient with me… I… I hope you don’t mind waiting just a little longer for me to figure things out.”

“Oh, _Victoria_ …” Kate whispers through her tears, reaching up to caress her cheek with those delicate little fingers. “I would wait my whole life for you.”

The sound that draws from Victoria’s mouth is somewhere between a laugh and a happy little sob. Smiling tenderly, she grabs Kate’s hand and raises it over head, prompting the girl to give her a spin. Kate laughs delightedly as she complies, her hair fluttering in the breeze as she turns. When she makes her way back into Victoria’s arms, the smile Kate gives her is so wide, so brilliant, that for a moment it seems as though the birds are singing just for the two of them. It seems that the light of the midday sun that shines down upon them is suddenly softer, warmer... enveloping the girls and their surroundings in an almost magical glow. 

It's the kind of moment that Victoria, both the photographer and the romantic, would die to capture. But even more than that, it's the kind of rare, shining moment when she honestly feels _happy_ to be alive.

“I’m sorry…” Victoria breathes. “I feel like I’ve wasted so much time already…”

“It’s okay, Victoria…” Kate speaks her name so reverently it almost sounds like a prayer. “We have all the time in the world.”

_'My eyes... they're on you...'_

Victoria thought she'd missed her chance during that fateful golden hour two days prior, when all her carefully laid plans to win Max's heart abruptly came to naught. But here on this rooftop, with her skin soaking up the heat that radiates off the small girl in her arms, with the intoxicating aroma of sweat and lavender filling her nostrils and making her head spin, Victoria begins to realize that maybe _her_ perfect moment is not about a particular time of day, or a meticulously executed plot. That _Victoria's_ golden hour is all about finding the right person... and, perhaps, that person has been right in front of her all along.

_'They're on you...'_

And as they dance, Victoria can feel herself getting lost in those gorgeous hazel eyes… the eyes from Victoria’s dream. They’re eyes that burn like a gentle flame, offering shelter from the raging storm that is Victoria’s life. Eyes that twinkle like the stars, mysterious and infinite in the possibilities they offer. Eyes that shine like the morning sun, offering the gentle promise of a new day. A _good_ day…

_'They're on... you...'_

And while the music from her phone serenades them, while Kate clings tightly to her, while Victoria lets herself get lost in those eyes… she knows she’s ready. Ready for whatever that new day may bring.

_'My eyes...'_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by the wonderful and incredibly talented Ayra! ([ayra0114 on Instagram](https://instagram.com/ayra0114?igshid=1ku2tuf25qobu).) Thank you so much for bringing this scene to life!
> 
> In-chapter song: _[Dancing](https://youtu.be/7cujC48i7Ug)_ by Elisa
> 
> Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaah I know that ending scene is cheesy AF, but I was feeling it... so ya'll just have to deal. ;)
> 
> Whew! Two major milestones this chapter: we finally reached that fated confrontation on the rooftop, and we finally made it past October 10th! I honestly don't know which I'm more relieved about. :P
> 
> In this universe Victoria managed to talk Kate off the ledge. But what does the future hold for them?
> 
> Thanks as always for taking the time to read, especially since these chapters seem to be getting longer every time! :P
> 
> I treasure every single hit, comment, and kudo. The amazing support you all have shown really drives me to keep going, to try to put out the best version of this story that I can. 
> 
> And of course, please don't be shy to let me know if there are areas I can improve on as well, or if there is anything in particular you'd like to see explored in future chapters!
> 
> *****
> 
> Chapter title reference: _[Never Say Die](https://youtu.be/ifr3O33UpWs)_ by CHVRCHES  
> 


	11. All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the threat of Nathan looms large in Victoria's mind, she formulates a plan to keep Kate safe. Their friends react to the news of recent events.

**Friday, October 11 th, 2013: Girls' Dormitory - Rooftop**

“OW! Owowowow. _Owwwwwwwwwwww..._ ” Victoria whines as Kate helps her limp over to the nearby ledge, before gently guiding her to sit with her back up against the smooth gray stone.

It all started a few minutes ago, while the pair of them still clung tightly together as they danced in smooth, slow circles, well after the song they were originally dancing to had ended. Her phone next shuffled to _Hallelujah_ by Jeff Buckley, which probably wouldn’t have been Victoria’s first choice for a follow-up, but at least the title felt apropos to her current mood of utter relief at the fact that Kate was ok. She was _here_ , in Victoria’s arms with her head resting on the taller girl’s shoulder. The truth was, it didn’t matter to her if Rammstein was playing next… Kate’s happy little sighs and the thudding of Victoria’s own heart in her ears was music enough for her.

She did, however, eye her phone suspiciously when _Don’t Stop Believin’_ was the next song in line, wondering if she was starting to pick up on a theme here. Again, she normally wasn’t the type to believe in woo-woo crap, but all the inexplicable things the girls had experienced lately, combined with the fact that she _DID_ just tell God to go fuck Himself, made Victoria feel justified in being at least a _little_ nervous.

They barely made it past Steven Perry crooning about the city boy taking a midnight train when Kate let out a loud, horrified gasp, her downturned eyes going wide at the sight of the trail of blood Victoria was leaving behind on the stone tiles with each step. Placing both hands on Victoria’s shoulders to pull her to a stop, she stepped back to inspect her shoeless feet, her hazel eyes worried and accusatory.

“ _Oh my God_ , Victoria, what happened?!”

“Huh?” the pixie-cut blonde asked, before her emerald eyes followed Kate’s to a smear of red near her right foot.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe I popped a blister or something running up the stairs? It doesn’t even hu—” her voice cut off in a strangled gasp of her own when she raised her foot, toes curled inward, at an angle where she could see that the black fabric of her tights were positively _soaked_ through with the sticky red fluid. Suddenly, the sharp pain she’d been ignoring during her mad dash up the stone steps leading up to the roof, during her impassioned plea to save Kate’s life, and during the sweet reward of the dance that followed, all came rushing back to her. When she lowered her foot again, she found she could barely put her weight on it at all without receiving a pang of sharp, piercing agony for her trouble.

Now, with her back against the ledge and her leg outstretched, Victoria sucks a pained breath through her teeth as Kate gingerly lifts it up to inspect the wounded foot.

“I can’t really see anything… c-can you take these off?” Kate asks, a couple spots of pink forming on her cheeks.

“Trying to get my pants off _already_ , huh?” Victoria coos with a sultry bite of her lip. If it’s a choice between wallowing in pain and giving someone shit, Victoria will almost always choose the latter. Kate’s blush deepens and she quickly looks away as Victoria starts hiking up her skirt to wriggle the black fabric down her toned legs.

“There…” she sighs wistfully, pouting at the fact that Kate _didn’t_ try to sneak a peek before she pulled her skirt back in place. She leaves the leggings pooled about halfway down her calves so that Kate can pull them the rest of the way.

Kate carefully peels the fabric off the damaged foot, hissing out a frantic “sorry!” when the blood-caked material sticking to her skin causes Victoria to wince. She follows this by ever-so-gently wiping at some of the blood with one of her thumbs in search of the wound.

“ _SHIT!_ ” She exclaims suddenly, a hand flying up to cover her mouth and her eyebrows rising in alarm at what she sees.

“Umm, _language_ , madam,” Victoria snorts with amusement, ignoring the incredulous frown this earns her. “I mean, Gee-golly-gosh-darn-heck! I don’t think my virgin ears can handle this sort of vulgarity!”

But she finds herself suddenly devoid of mirth when Kate turns her foot at enough of an angle to allow Victoria to see the little shard of red-stained, mirrored glass that has managed to work its way through the thin fabric and into her soft flesh at a nearly horizontal angle. It must have gotten snagged in her tights as she stormed out of her room earlier, and ground its way into her skin during her mad dash up the stairs. Having never been too keen on the sight of blood in the first place, _this_ makes Victoria’s face go green as she turns away, having to fight off the urge to dry-heave.

“Just… just sit tight, ok? I’m going to get my first-aid kit and I’ll be _right_ back.” Kate wads up the removed tights to form a make-shift bed for Victoria’s foot. With a final, worried frown and an almost guilty look in her eye, Kate turns and bustles through the door and into the stairwell beyond.

Left to her own devices, Victoria heaves an exasperated sigh and picks up her phone and its ever-increasing pile of unread notifications that she’s been avoiding for the past couple of days. Giving it a quick scroll, she sees that it’s mostly boilerplate Vortex crap interspersed with Taylor and Courtney checking in, asking if they’ll see her at lunch, etc. If it were up to her, Victoria would throw the damn thing over the ledge, choosing to forget about “real life” and its associated dramas in lieu of staying up here dancing with Kate… at least until it gets cold enough to force them to retreat to the comfort of one of their rooms.

But, like it or not, Victoria _does_ live in the real world… and if she doesn’t deal with her real-world issues, she knows they’ll find a way of dealing with _her_ instead. Thus, with an angry cluck of her tongue against her teeth, she pulls up Nathan’s contact. She hasn’t received a word from him, or any evidence that he’s attempted to contact her at all, since before the party yesterday. Not that she expected anything else, but being proven right doesn’t make her any less furious.

Jamming her thumb down onto the “Call” button, Victoria raises the phone to her ear. If he thinks he can just ghost his former best friend after the shit he tried to pull, Nathan most definitely is in for a very rude awakening.

Three calls that go straight to voice-mail later, an increasingly enraged Victoria switches to texts.

\-----

So… what? I don’t even get a

“Yo V… Sry 4 tryin 2 kidnap u last nite. My B lol”???

ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE

– **10/11 11:55** **AM**

Seriously WTF Nate???

After all I’ve done for you???

MAN THE FUCK UP AND TELL ME WHY

You OWE ME that much at least!!!

– **10/11 11:57** **AM**

CALL ME BACK. NOW!!!!!!

OR THE NEXT CALL I MAKE IS TO THE FUCKING COPS

– **10/11 11:58** **AM**

\-----

Victoria is well aware of just how much of an empty threat that last text might be. She hasn’t had the chance to think things through yet, but she knows exactly how deep in the Prescott’s pockets the Arcadia Bay Police Department is, and how little the word of a passed-out “drunk” girl and that of someone half the Blackwell Academy student body would testify to being her stalker would mean to them.

Still, she has to do _something_. Victoria can’t just let Nate get away with shit like this. She just needs time to plan out her next moves, so that when she goes after him, she can go at him _HARD_.

Her eyes are drawn to the sound of the door opening, and to the tiny girl in the black party dress coming through it. The breeze blows Kate's long, honey-colored hair to the side, causing a few stray strands to alluringly get caught in her red lips. She hurries over with a bulky first aid kit in one hand, and a pair of blue and white converse sneakers from Victoria’s closet in the other.

But even as her heart swells at the sight of Kate, the nasty blue and purple bruise that covers the left side of the girl’s jaw and part of her cheek makes her blood run cold at the same time. It’s a stark reminder that Victoria isn’t the only one who has to be worried about what might happen if Nathan comes back. In fact, being the only sober witness to what actually happened that night, if anyone is in danger it would be _Kate_ , not her.

The wheels start turning in Victoria’s mind as the girl who quite possibly saved her life kneels down in front of her, fussing over the contents of white and red box in her hands. The next threat she sends Nathan is _anything_ but empty.

\-----

If you ever touch Kate again, I’ll kill you.

– **10/11 12:00** **PM**

*****

Victoria chews on the inside of her cheek, continuing to anxiously tap away at her phone while Kate tends to her wound: picking out the shard of glass with tweezers; cleaning the blood away with antiseptic wipes; applying peroxide to the wound itself before sealing it closed with an adhesive bandage.

But it's not the injury itself that is driving her nerves. The shard of glass wasn’t nearly as big and hadn’t punctured nearly as deep as it looked at first glance. Instead, it's the fact that every time she looks up and sees that angry bruise on Kate's face or the scabbed over scrapes on her knuckles, the same words replay in her mind:

_'You can’t even deal with a little 120-pound girl...' Victoria sneered. '... maybe it’s time to grow the fuck up and handle your own shit!'_

_'Yeah… sorry Vic…' Nate glowered, before casting his hard-eyed glare in Kate's direction. '… this isn’t over, bitch.'_

At that time, all Kate had done was humiliate Nathan in front of half the dorm. Humiliation compounded exponentially by Victoria emasculating him over it, so caught up in her own drama with Max at the time that she didn't even consider the potential consequences of her words.

But now that Kate has beaten the living shit out of him? All to save Victoria's ass? Nate put that one girl, Samantha, in the fucking _hospital_ for _much_ less.

Victoria may not have pulled the trigger, but she can't help but feel like she's helped load the gun that is Nathan's rage and pointed it right at Kate.

And if Victoria goes to Wells or the cops, what then? She can see things going two ways. The obvious choice would be the Prescotts and their lackeys taking a page right out of the Samantha playbook, making _Nathan_ out to be the victim in all of this. Hell, they’d probably have it much easier this time around, as Sam didn’t have hands that looked like she just came back from a barfight. They would claim that Nathan was taking Victoria to go get help, Kate attacked him unprovoked, and he hit her to defend himself, which had _just_ enough truth to it to make anyone predisposed by Prescott money more than happy to accept it as fact and look the other way.

Victoria doesn’t even want to think about the second possibility: that the police somehow believe their story, and decide to move forward with charges based on Kate’s testimony alone… making the girl a major fucking problem in Sean Prescott’s eyes.

No, if she’s going to do this, Victoria needs a _plan_. And… she at least has the beginnings of one. One good thing about being Nathan’s friend/babysitter all these years is that she knows how to get inside his head, how to push his buttons to… well, not _control_ him, per se, but to at least nudge the boy one direction or another. If she confronts him about what he did, maybe she could convince him to turn himself in… or at least record herself badgering a confession out of him.

Of course, to do that she needs to _find_ him… but that’s putting the cart before the horse, as they say. Because right now, _step fucking one_ is to get Kate someplace safe, so Nathan has no idea where to find her in case he does come looking. And _that_ means she needs to convince Kate to let Victoria take her away from here.

…

The sound of Kate sniffling distracts Victoria from her scheming. When she looks up, she can see that tears are dampening the girl's cheeks while she wraps Victoria’s wounded foot in gauze.

" _Katie?_ What's wrong...?"

Save for the continued sniffling, Kate remains silent for several moments… her full lips pressed into a thin, distressed line. She doesn't meet Victoria's eyes when she finally speaks, her chin quivering with emotion.

"You... You _hurt_ yourself. And _it's my fault_." Those last words just barely avoid coming out as a sob.

Of course, while Victoria is sitting there worrying herself into developing an ulcer over how to keep her from getting hurt, all Kate Marsh is thinking of is Victoria. It would be almost funny if the miserable, guilt-stricken look on the girl’s face wasn’t just _heart-breaking_.

"Oh, Katie, no..." Victoria soothes. "I'm the dumbass who thought jogging up the stairs after walking through broken glass was a good idea."

Obviously not in the mood to find her words amusing, Kate firmly shakes her head as she gently lowers Victoria's freshly-gauzed foot back to the wadded-up clothing that is serving as its makeshift cushion. Her body shudders while she seethes with self-directed anger.

" _But you did that to help me!_ And... and _I saw your room_ , Victoria. Your mirror... Your b-beautiful pictures... It wasn't like that _before_ I..."

_Shit._ Victoria hadn’t thought about the fact that Kate _must_ have seen the disaster area she left behind after raging out earlier, when she went in her room to retrieve her shoes.

“No, hey… just look at me, ok?” Victoria leans forward to nudge the girl's chin upward, finally coaxing those glistening hazel eyes to meet her own.

"What happened in my room is _not your fault_ , alright? You may have noticed that I have some _minor_ anger management issues, from time to time?” The corners of Kate’s lips twitch up just a tad at what they both know to be a strong contender for understatement of the year. _Good_.

“Well… after you left, I was _really_ pissed with myself. For a lot of things, but mostly for being too scared to _stop you_ from leaving, to tell you just how much I _needed_ you to stay. I looked around and all I could see was a girl who can do anything except what she really wants… and I guess I had to just kick that girl’s ass a bit. And I'm glad I did, too, because it seems like it helped give her the courage to get off her ass and come find you."

"Besides..." she smirks as she slides her fingers up to caress Kate's swollen cheek. " _You_ got yourself hurt for me too... would you let _me_ say you shouldn’t have done that?”

Kate covers Victoria's hand with her own while she holds her stare, and she can feel the pulse quickening beneath that hot skin. Finally, she shakes her head, her eyes softening and her frown fading into a pretty little pout at not being able to come up with an argument against that.

_Damn straight. I’m the QUEEN of guilt trips. Git gud if you wanna step to me, scrub._

“Here.” Victoria smiles while patting the tile next to her. “Come sit with the cripple for a minute.”

Kate returns Victoria’s smile with a shy one of her own when she scoots over to take the spot at her left. Looking down at the abraded hands that demurely rest in the girl's lap, Victoria can’t help but reach for them with one of her own. Kate graciously takes it in both of hers.

“Still…” Kate says, darting chastising eyes up to Victoria’s face. “The dance _could_ have waited…”

“Nope.” Victoria responds with a pop of her lips. “It was totally worth it.”

“But…” the girl whispers, trying to argue despite the happy gleam in her eye.

“Totally was…” the short-haired blonde cuts her off with a grin. “10 out of 10, would dance with glass in both feet next time.”

Kate looks down at the manicured hand in her lap, unable to fully suppress the sweet little smile tugging at the corners of her red lips.

They sit in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes, before the worries that have been gnawing at the back of Victoria’s mind finally force her to speak.

“Kate…” she starts, peering at the girl out of the corner of her eye. “I… don’t really feel safe staying here tonight.”

It’s not _really_ a lie, per se. At this point she truly has no idea what Nathan’s capable of… however, if it was just herself she was worried about, she’d probably opt for sharpening her toothbrush into a prison shank and lying in wait for him. But Kate is involved, and she really doesn’t want the girl to be anywhere near this school until she figures out what the hell she’s going to do.

“I need to get out of here, clear my head so I can decide what to do about… about Nate. There’s a hotel I stay at in Portland sometimes, and I was thinking about going for the weekend.”

Victoria can see the worry growing on Kate’s face as she speaks, her tone anxious and protective. “Victoria… I really don’t like the idea of you being that far away from me right now…”

“I know.” Victoria smiles, giving Kate’s hands a squeeze this time. As always, her little bunny seems inclined to hop _right_ into the snare she has laid.

“That’s why I was hoping you’d come with me.”

Spots of pink grow on the suddenly flustered girl’s cheeks. “B-but… I don’t really have a lot of money for a hotel room…”

“Well I wouldn’t offer if I minded covering for you. Besides, I’ll be staying there regardless, so it’s not like you would cost me any extra.”

Kate’s eyes widen at that. “You… you mean, you want me to stay in the _same_ room?”

“Duh…” she snarks, punctuating it with a lascivious eyebrow waggle as she unlocks her phone. “One king-size bed should do, right?”

“Vic… _Victoria_ …!” Kate complains, her face growing tomato red as she looks away.

Victoria knows she shouldn’t tease Kate like this, especially since she’s the one who said they should take things slow. But she just can’t help herself when Kate makes it _so much fun_.

“Oh, calm down, I’m kidding,” She grins wolfishly while nudging the girl’s shoulder with her own. “There’s an adjoining room, see? You can even lock the door if you want, to protect yourself from my wicked ways.”

But she wonders if she’s pushed things a little too far when Kate flashes her that _look_ , the one that says ‘Bitch, _you_ might need that lock way more than _me_.' Suddenly Victoria’s not sure which of them is the bunny and which is the wolf. It’s all Victoria can do not to cartoonishly _gulp_ at the sight of it.

“You… you can say no, if you want. And if so, I’ll stay here, because… because I don’t want to leave you alone, either.”

Kate’s eyes are mysterious now as she searches Victoria’s for a long moment, one that seems to stretch out into eternity.

_C’mon Katie… please say yes… I swear, all I want is to keep you safe._

It definitely has nothing to do with her desire to keep her and Kate in their own little world for just a little while longer. To take time to get to know her, to wine and dine her a little… nope, nothing to do with any of that at all. Strictly altruistic, this plan is.

Finally, the girl’s face lightens as she giggles melodically, her eyes dancing with mirth like she was just reminded of an inside joke.

“So…” Kate asks coyly, “Are you saying you want me to hop in your fancy car so we can leave this poop-hole town behind and go on an adventure?”

“This _WHAT_ -hole town?!” Victoria cackles. “ _Bitch_ , you literally _just_ said ‘shit’ like five minutes ago.”

Kate grins despite her ever-deepening blush. “Sh… _shithole_ town…” she manages to mumble, before covering her mouth to hide her own embarrassed laughter.

“ _Much_ better.” Victoria chuckles, before giving the girl an expectant smile. “So… is that a yes?”

Kate thinks it over for a moment, before dropping her hand to reveal one of those bright smiles that seem to always make Victoria’s heart skip a beat.

“It… honestly sounds like a dream come true.”

...

_Uhhh, **damn** … swoon, much?_

“Perfect…” Victoria manages to say, feeling her own lips stretch in an effort to match Kate’s as her heart goes into over-drive. With a final tap on her phone screen, she adds “There… all booked. We probably should go get ready, I’ve got a couple things I need to do around campus before we go.”

“O-Okay!” Kate beams, scooting forward to help Victoria into her sneakers.

They have to unlace the right shoe about halfway to allow the gauze-covered foot to fit inside, but once Kate helps her stand up, she finds that putting her weight on it hurts far less now that the glass has been removed. They hold hands as they make their way to and down the stairs, Victoria only limping slightly as they go.

When they arrive at the second-floor landing, however, the sound of voices in the hallway beyond causes Victoria to freeze, her eyes locked on the closed door in front of her. It’s lunch-time now, so of course some of the students would be filtering back into the dorms. Up until now, whatever this is between her and Kate has existed solely between the two of them. With everything going on, she honestly hasn’t had time to think about what it might mean for both of their social circles outside of it.

But Kate gently disengages her hand from Victoria’s, giving the taller girl a pure, understanding smile. A smile that says _‘It’s ok if you’re not ready yet. We said we’d take it slow. I can wait as long as you need me to…’_

Victoria bites her lip as she stares into those unwavering hazel eyes. The Victoria of yesterday would have jumped at the offer to preserve her image that much longer, at least until she had a meticulous plan in place for how she wanted to move forward.

But that Victoria didn’t know how it felt to wake up in Kate’s arms, or to come so close to losing her forever. That Victoria didn’t know what it was like to get lost in those beautiful eyes while they danced together on the rooftop.

_Fresh start…_

Victoria grabs Kate’s hand and pushes the door open, her cheeks pink and her eyes locked straight ahead as she confidently pulls the girl along with her into the hallway and on toward their rooms.

They walk right past Stella and Dana, the dorm-neighbors’ idle conversation dying instantly as they watch the pair stroll on by with eyes wide and mouths agape. They _must_ be quite the sight, with Victoria surely more bedraggled than they’ve ever seen, and Kate still in her little black dress with her long hair down and flowing behind her.

“ _KATE!?_ ” Stella’s shocked voice finally calls after them. “Is… is everything ok?”

“Yeah…” Victoria can _hear_ the brightness of Kate’s smile as she turns her head to address her friend, squeezing her hand tightly the whole way.

“Everything’s _perfect_ …”

*****

**Blackwell Academy - Courtyard**

About twenty minutes, an extremely Spartan shower (hair, face, pits, and crotch), and a quick change (blue jeans and a halter top to match her sneakers) later, Victoria finds herself standing with her back to the wall at the "smoker's corner" by the Pool locker room entrance. She’s feeling a bit self-conscious, of course, having had little time to work on her appearance... she wants to get on the road as soon as possible, after all, and she needs to talk to her friends before lunch is over and everyone heads off to their next class.

The one affectation to her vanity Victoria did allow herself is her oversized designer sunglasses, both to shield herself from the increasingly brutal midday sun, and to hide the horror show of red, white, and green her eyes have become since this morning's intense vomiting session. The glasses do make it harder to pull off her patented death glares, but her disdainful sneer seems to be enough to send any would-be smokers scurrying back the way they came.

Victoria is mostly through her first cigarette of the day when she spies Taylor and Courtney exiting the main building. She stubs it out against the wall as they approach, doing her best to steel her nerves against the bomb she's about to drop on them.

“Hey girl!” Taylor starts brightly, before her expression progressively descends into one of concern as she gets close enough to get a good look at Victoria’s face. “Umm… how are you feeling? You…”

“ _JESUS CHRIST_ , Vic you look like _SHIT_!” Courtney exclaims, her face a mixture of horror, disappointment, and that familiar dread the girl seems to experience every time she sees Victoria not being completely on top of her game. Not surprisingly, more than a few heads from students scattered throughout the courtyard turn at the sound of her outburst

“Gee, _thanks!_ You bitches always know how to make a girl feel pretty…” Victoria scoffs, though she knows they’re right to be concerned. Her hair is a damp, untamed mess, and since she had no time for make-up, her face is pallid and sunken, showing the strain of her alcohol/whatever-else induced hangover, the time she spent wrapped around one of the toilets earlier, and the fading remnant of Max’s slap on her left cheek. ‘On brand’, she is not.

Not that any of that matters right now.

"Have... either of you heard from Nate since last night?" Despite trying to keep her tone neutral, some of her worry came through if the looks on their faces are anything to go by.

"Nah..." Courtney shakes her head. "He wasn’t in Calculus earlier, and I definitely haven’t gotten any texts.”

Taylor gives Victoria a fretful look. "Not since I left you with him... Why, did something happen?"

Victoria sucks at her teeth as she considers her next words, focusing on keeping herself calm. She's cried over Nate enough for one day. Shit, she's done enough crying to last a lifetime at this point.

Finally, after taking a deep breath, she lets it all out in a rush.

"I think Nate spiked my fucking drink last night. And I _know_ he tried to take me somewhere I didn't want to go."

Taylor and Courtney's jaws drop in unison. That was definitely _not_ what they were expecting to hear.

" _Oh my God_ , Vic…” Taylor gasps out, her eyes wide as saucers. “Are… are you sure? I mean… I know Nate has issues but… he _adores_ you…”

"Y-yeah… I m-mean…” Courtney stutters, shaking her head in disbelief. “You were hitting it pretty hard, right? M… maybe you just passed out? Wouldn’t be the first time one of us has had to help you get—"

"Look, I know what drinking until I pass out feels like. I know what a fucking _hangover_ feels like. _And this isn't it..._ " Victoria snaps, rubbing at her temples to ward off the steady throbbing in her head that has been returning ever since her post-dance euphoria has started to wear off.

"I don’t remember everything, but I remember enough. How goddamn shady he was acting, especially before giving me that last drink before I passed out. And him dragging me down those steps right over there to his shitty fucking truck. And… and Kate saw it too. The only reason he _didn’t_ take me where-the-fuck-ever is because she was there to save my ass.”

That last sentence didn’t help alleviate the mistrust in Taylor’s eyes _at all_. “Kate… Kate _Marsh?_ Vic… you know how this sounds, right?”

“It sounds fucking _BATSHIT_.” Courtney cries, clearly going through some of the same stages of panicked denial that Victoria herself was feeling mere hours ago. “You’re trying to tell us your best friend since middle school tried to kidnap you out of fucking nowhere, and that psycho little baby-lez _stalker_ stopped it? Are you sure it’s not the other fucking way around?!”

“Court… Court, calm down, let’s just hear—” Taylor soothes while touching the brunette’s shoulder. Her empathetic eyes are locked on Victoria’s face as she struggles to keep her emotions in check. She’s _not_ going to cry again, she’s just _NOT_.

“Hear _WHAT?!_ More excuses for why we shouldn’t just crush that crazy bitch like a bug? What’s it going to take, for her to start walking around campus wearing your fucking _SKIN?!_ Vic, you know—”

“I _KNOW_ how fucking _scared_ I was last night, OK?!” Victoria practically wails. “I _KNOW_ Kate was there for me, when _NO ONE ELSE_ was! And… and…”

She sniffles, and when she reaches up to touch her cheeks, her fingers come back damp. _GOD DAMMIT._

“… And I know after the last few days I don’t have many fucking friends left… you two are basically _IT_. That’s why I really _need_ you to _BELIEVE_ me right now!”

While a tear-stricken outburst like this was the last thing Victoria wanted to happen, at least it seems to snap her friends out of their doubts as their expressions shift to ones of guilt and horror.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Vic— _of course_ we believe you…” Taylor sobs, throwing her arms around the shorter-haired blonde. “I’m sorry… I’m _so fucking sorry_ … I _knew_ I shouldn’t have left you last night…”

“Y… yeah…” Courtney sniffles, looking at the two of them miserably, obviously not sure what to do. “S… sorry for being such a shitty friend…”

When Victoria holds her arm out to beckon Courtney in, the brunette lets out a sob of her own as she rushes to join the three-way hug.

“It’s ok _…_ It's _not_ your fault, I _should_ have been safe with him...” Victoria sighs into their ears. “And, I get it… _I_ don’t want to believe it either, and I was _there_ …”

“What… what are you gonna do?” Taylor asks, her voice strained.

“Fuck if I know…” Victoria shrugs, taking the opportunity to escape from the hug so that she can wipe at her face. At least this time she doesn’t have any make-up to ruin. “Try to find him, I guess. Make him tell me WHY. After that… you may not even _want_ to know.”

She checks the watch on her left wrist. “But… for right now? I’m gonna get out of town for a few days, see if I can get out from under all this insane drama long enough to figure things out.”

That sets Sweet T fretting once again. “I _really_ don’t think you should be alone right now…”

“I won’t be.” Victoria replies matter-of-factly.

“Then… who…?” Court asks with a confused look.

Victoria smirks as she tilts her head down enough to peer at the girls over her glasses. “Wouldn’t _you_ like to know.”

That causes Courtney to cross her arms and regard her with a suspicious squint. But while Taylor’s expression is mostly unreadable, Victoria’s _pretty_ sure she can see the beginnings of a coy, knowing little grin starting to form.

“Look… I need you to spread the word to the other girls, ok? _ALL of them._ And… if you, or _anyone_ sees or hears from Nate, call me. I’ll be back as fast as I can.”

After receiving affirmative nods from Tay and Court, Victoria pauses long enough to kiss each of the girls on the cheek before turning away. She leaves them to stare nervously at each other in her wake as she heads for the locker rooms.

*****

**Blackwell Swimming Pool – Locker Rooms**

Victoria stomps her way through the door leading into the boys’ locker room, paying absolutely no mind to the fact that she’s walking right in the middle of the football team while most of them are still nude or clad only in towels following their post-practice showers. Steam billows along the ceiling, emanating from the stalls running nearby.

One of the Bigfoots, a walking slab of beef named Sebastian or Hank or Whogivesashit, gives a low whistle at the sight of her, causing the others to turn their heads as he looks her up and down.

“Damn, girlie, you're in the wrong room. What, you here to audition for a Brazzers video or somethin’?” This elicits a round of guffaws from the assorted meatheads in the vicinity.

“ _Whatever_ ,” she scoffs, sparing him only a passing glance as she makes her way to her target. “Like I haven’t seen a dozen shriveled dicks in one place before.” The laughs and _‘Ooooh’s_ that follow are even louder than before.

_“Where’s Nate?!”_ Victoria snaps as she comes to a stop right in front of Zachary.

“Yo, Vic…” the much taller boy coos, a shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. He flexes his pecs a couple of times, standing in a way that shows off his washboard abs and hanging schlong like he thinks she gives even the tiniest of shits about either of them.

He looks around the room, giving his audience a knowing smirk. “You know you don’t gotta make up an excuse to finish what you started with those texts, right? All you gotta do is show up to my room in just that necklace of yours…” he raises his hand to reach for the string of pearls around her neck.

His little innuendo prompts a round of catcalls and innuendos, as hoax or not, their text exchange had surely been a hot topic around here at the time. Even Logan, standing to Zach’s right, gives a buffoonish _har har_ in response… though he at least has the decency to eye her nervously while wrapping a towel around his lower half.

“Let’s try this again…” Vic growls, batting Zach’s hand away while taking off her glasses. She studies the floor as she secures the glasses in the neckline of her top, pausing for full effect before giving Zach the iciest glare she can muster… one that offers a _full_ view of the angry red smears from the burst capillaries that dominate the whites of her eyes.

Zach’s eyebrows shoot upward in shock at the sight of it, and his back bangs into the lockers behind him as he takes an involuntary step backwards. The boy flinches as Victoria steps forward to deliver a hard poke to his right pec.

“Tell me where the fuck Nathan is _right now_ , or I’ll shove that football so far up your ass you’ll have to squat to score your next touchdown!”

“ _SHIT_ , I don’t know, okay?!” Zach complains, holding one hand up in surrender while the other rubs at his chest as though she just stabbed him. “Last I saw, he was at the bar with _you_.”

Victoria turns her baleful gaze on Logan, who simply shakes his head mutely while holding up both hands, before hurriedly grabbing for the towel as it starts to slip from his waist.

"Fine," she practically spits. "If you do see him…? Tell him to answer his _GODDAMN PHONE._ "

With that, Victoria turns to leave... but not before giving each of the assembled Neanderthals a long, pointed, _appraising_ look. The dismissive sneer on her face clearly stating 'you have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found... _wanting_.'

The sight of all these big, manly men turning away from her gaze or suddenly covering themselves with hands and towels causes a self-satisfied grin to slowly spread across her face as she strolls out.

_Heh, yep... I've **definitely** still got it._

*****

The thrill of total social dominance is short-lived, however, when just a few steps toward the exit Victoria is yanked to a stop by a hand that snags the neck strap of her halter top. As much as she'd like to turn and find the identity of her new assailant, it's all she can do to stay upright as the hand proceeds to drag her stumbling and sputtering backwards into the girls' locker room on the opposite side.

" _L… LET ME GO!!!_ " she shrieks, just before the owner of that hand complies by practically hurling her into the empty room. She rounds on the offender, all manner of furious invectives forming on her tongue for whoever _dares_ to be impudent enough to manhandle her like this, on _today_ of all days.

The curses die on her lips, however, when she recognizes the heavy-set, purple-haired girl who has planted herself between Victoria and the exit. Alyssa Anderson - dressed in her standard scene-kid attire, arms crossed over her chest and an angry grimace to rival even Victoria’s _best_ plastered on her face.

_Oh, **shit**._

Having both attended Blackwell Academy since Freshman year, the two girls had never been on the best of terms. They were essentially oil and water: where Victoria was a social climber who craved attention, Alyssa was basically a loner who always had her nose in a book. And while the purple-haired girl never seemed to care when insults were thrown her way, she did have a way of planting herself between bullies and their would-be victims… and when she did, there would suddenly be this invisible edge to her. One that said _‘trust me, you **really** don’t want to fuck with me right now.’_

The tension between them really started to ratchet up at the beginning of their current term, however… especially when Kate came into the picture. She often found that when the three of them were in the same room, Alyssa seemed to position herself between Kate and Victoria, almost like a mother bear protecting her cub. And sometimes when Victoria would fall into that all too common dance of _// Stare at Kate for reasons she can’t explain // Kate stares back and smiles // Suddenly look away, anxious and flustered_ _//_ she’d catch Alyssa looking right at her with eyes that seemed to say _‘I know you’re going to hurt her, and when you do you’re fucking **dead**.’_

And, oh yeah, did Victoria mentioned that Alyssa knows kung-fu? That’s the rumor around campus, at least… mainly because the girl seems to have an uncanny knack for somehow spotting and evading any projectiles thrown her way… or catching it and redirecting it back at whoever threw it. And while one errant football getting beaned right back into the head of the jock unfortunate enough to toss it in her direction would be chalked up to coincidence, after the fifth or sixth such incident the consensus was split between the girl either knowing kung-fu or having spider-sense… not that anyone really believed in sci-fi super-power bullshit like that.

Victoria didn’t buy _any_ of it, of course… well, not until the incident in the girl’s bathroom a few days ago, anyway. That day, Victoria was in rare form after Alyssa had been caught throwing a toilet paper roll at Max, and had managed to corner the girl with Courtney and Taylor in tow for back-up. Her fury overriding her sense of self-preservation, Victoria pushed Alyssa in the shoulder before demanding to know what her problem was… at least, that was the plan, until she somehow managed to find herself flat on her ass with her arm twisted behind her back before the push even had a chance to _land_.

_“I didn’t throw ANYTHING at Max,” Alyssa had growled in her ear, the menace in her voice making the hair stand up on the back of Victoria’s neck. “I was aiming for YOU.”_

_“I have no idea why she cares so much about a **bitch** like you, but I’m warning you: Leave. Kate. **Alone**.”_

_“Oh y-yeah?” Victoria stuttered in response, while Tay and Court stood uselessly by, their eyes wide with terror. “A-and what are you gonna do about if I **don’t** , Daniel-san? Crane-kick me? Sweep the leg?”_

_“Make her cry **ONE** more time, and you’ll find out…” she snarled before releasing Victoria and exiting the room, pushing right past her friends as if they weren’t even there._

So… yeah. _That’s_ why Victoria would much rather face down the entire football team, their greasy wieners all helicoptering in unison, than be on the receiving end of Alyssa Anderson’s glare right now.

“ _J—Jesus_ , Anderson, the hell did I do this time?!” Victoria whines, rubbing where the neckline of her top had been pulled taut against her chest during her recent mauling.

“What the _HELL_ is your problem, Victoria?!” Alyssa demands, her face absolutely livid.

The sheer absurdity of the question forces an anxiety-fueled laugh to escape Victoria’s mouth before she can even think to catch it. “Seriously?! Do you want a fucking _LIST?_ You’re gonna need to be _way_ more specific after the week I’ve—”

“You _know_ what I’m talking about!” The purple-haired girl growls while advancing on her, forcing Victoria to backpedal until it’s her turn to be pressed up against the lockers. Her reddened emerald eyes widen when Alyssa shoves a phone in her face.

\-----

**Stells** \- @_@

:o :o :o :o

(°-°) (°.°)

– **10/11 12:32** **PM**

????

– **10/11 12:35** **PM**

**Stells** –

>> **_KT Cakes_** _– Hey Stella… If it’s not too much trouble,_

>> **_KT Cakes_** _– Would you mind watching Alice for me_

>> **_KT Cakes_** _– over the weekend?_ _😊_

>>> **_Stells –_** _HEY STRANGER._ _😉_

>>> **_Stells –_** _DUH u know Auntie Stella always loves 2_

>>> **_Stells –_** _hang out with her favorite niece. Y tho???_

>> **_KT Cakes_** _– Because… I’m going out of town._ _😊😊_

>>> **_Stells_** _– Srsly? Family getaway or sumtin?_

>> **_KT Cakes_** _– No………_

>> **_KT Cakes_** _– I’m going with Victoria <3 <3 <3_

>> **_KT Cakes_** _– :’-)_

>>> **_Stells_** _– WHAT_

>>> **_Stells_** _– SHUT UP_

>>> **_Stells_** _– GIRL IM COMING OVER_

– **10/11 12:37** **PM**

WTF?!?!?!?!?

– **10/11 12:38** **PM**

**Warren G –** whooooooa plot twist! (°◇°)

– **10/11 12:38** **PM**

Stella????

– **10/11 12:40** **PM**

\-----

Victoria can’t help but smile a little as she reads Kate’s messages, her heart fluttering once again.

_Well, the cat is definitely out of the bag now, but… crap, does she **have** to be so damn **adorable** about it?_

But Alyssa’s free hand slamming on the metal a few inches from her head brings Victoria back to the situation at hand.

“Is this some kind of sick _PRANK_?” Alyssa snaps. “What’s the plan, get her hopes up and then ditch her… or something _worse?_ I _TOLD_ you to leave Kate _ALONE_.”

Victoria knows Alyssa’s accusation is a fair one to make, given how fraught her and Kate’s interactions have been since the girl’s public freak-out in this very room a couple weeks back. _More_ than fair... she’s just being a good friend, after all. Trying to keep Kate from getting hurt.

But it makes her hackles rise, regardless. She’s done with being afraid, both of how she feels about Kate and what people will think of her if she’s _with_ Kate. And if that means getting beat up by Alyssa in the girls’ locker room, then she may as well just get it over with. Fully expecting to get karate-chopped or judo-flipped for her trouble, Victoria plants both hands on Alyssa’s shoulders and _pushes_ the startled girl backward.

“Oh _really_ , Anderson? What the hell do you think I’ve been trying to _do_ this past month? If you haven’t noticed, Katie can be pretty goddamn tenacious when she puts her mind to something! But you know what? I’m _sick_ of running from her. I’m sick of pretending like I _don’t_ have feelings for her. Because I finally got it through my thick skull that the only way I can _stop_ hurting her is to stop pushing her away.”

Alyssa’s jaw remains firmly set, and her eyes are hard as stone as she searches Victoria’s face for even the slightest hint of bullshit. Since she has yet to be sucker-punched or hurricanrana’d or whatever, Victoria presses on.

“Kate… stopped Nathan from hurting me last night. And I don’t know if he’s going to try to come back, but I don’t want her to be here if he does. So yeah, I’m taking her out of town until I get all that sorted out, and I’m going to make sure she has a _great fucking time_ while we’re there. And if that means I have to take a beat-down from _your_ My Chemical Romance-groupie looking ass, then _bring it_. Because… because she’s _worth_ it.”

The tension in the air is _palpable_ , but Victoria holds her ground… refusing to flinch from that steely blue glare.

…

Finally, Alyssa releases a long, slow sigh through her nostrils before turning on her heel, delivering one last threat over her shoulder as she stomps off.

“Don’t make me regret not taking you up on that offer, Victoria.”

It takes several seconds after the girl disappeared around the corner before Victoria regains enough of her nerve to collect herself. All things considered, that probably went as well as could be expected. She pauses long enough to straighten her top and put her shades back on, even running her fingers through her hair a few times before remembering what a lost cause that is right now. As much as she’d like to take a victory lap over surviving an encounter with Alyssa, she has one more stop to make. And then…

Victoria chuckles to herself, a wry grin spreading across her face.

_And then Kate and I will hop in my fancy car and leave this **poop** -hole town in our **dust**._

*****

**Boys’ Dormitory – 1 st Floor Hallway**

_“NATE!”_

Victoria delivers three loud, banging knocks to the door to room 111. It’s the second time today that she’s abused a door in such a fashion, but this time she doesn’t stop to correct herself. ‘Aggro as fuck’ is _exactly_ what she’s going for.

_BANG BANG BANG_.

“Nathan, I swear to _GOD_ if you’re in there and _ignoring_ me…!”

She honestly doesn’t expect him to be in the room anyway, since she swung by the parking lot on her way here and didn’t see any sign of his truck. Still, she figured it would be prudent to make sure before she barges on in to rifle through his shit. Pulling out her phone, she dials him again. Ringing on the line, but no sound coming from his room. Good.

She tries the door handle, but it’s locked firm. No luck there. Still, where there’s a will…

Victoria looks around the hall. All the doors are shut, and she can’t hear any voices or music coming from nearby. The dorm is mostly deserted, since now that it’s past 1:00 most everyone would be on to their afternoon classes. This is all according to plan, of course, since if she’s going to break and enter she’d prefer not to have any witnesses present.

Her eyes land on one of the slates in the corner on the opposite side of the hall, one of the few that doesn’t have a shitty pun, homophobic slur, or football reference written on it. Instead, there are two quotes: “There is no unique picture of reality” – Stephen Hawking, written in black marker; followed by “Cool story, bro :>” – Ur scrt admrr, written in pink. Definitely Warren Graham’s room, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who the second quote belongs to.

A brief chill runs down her spine as she reads that Hawking quote again, the bizarre events of a couple hours ago replaying in her mind. Writing on a mirror that was there one second, gone the next. Memories of her peers saying things she’d never actually heard. The feeling of… some _other_ Victoria controlling _her_ body, using _her_ lips to kiss _her_ Katie.

Victoria fights to suppress the intense and _irrational_ flash of jealousy that arises from that last thought. She doesn’t have time for that crap, and besides… the simplest explanation for last night was that she was just really fucked up from copious amounts of vodka mixed with whatever Nathan dosed her with… right? The voices and Kate’s dreams were harder to explain, but those things weren’t necessarily related to each other. Regardless, ruminating on sci-fi bullshit isn’t going to help her get into Nathan’s room.

_What will help,_ she thinks to herself as her lips quirk into a devious smirk, _is this fire extinguisher **conveniently** placed right here next to his door… Don’t mind if I do!_

Victoria lifts the heavy object high over her head a couple of times, testing the arc of her upcoming swing by slowly bringing it down to touch Nathan’s door handle. _Measure twice and cut once_ , like dear old Dad used to say. Well, _someone’s_ dad anyway. The idea of _Mr. Chase_ crafting something with his own two hands like some commoner was simply _laughable_.

She is about to raise the fire extinguisher for the third and final time, when the sound of a door swinging open makes her yelp with fright, clutching it to her chest in an attempt to hide it from view.

“ _Heeeeeeey_ , if it isn’t Vicky-Christina-Barcelona! What brings you to _our_ humble halls?” A scratchy, just barely post-pubescent voice asks from behind and to her right.

Victoria groans, both inwardly _and_ aloud. Who, _of all people_ , would pick this exact moment to walk in on her in the midst of committing a felony?

Why, none other than Warren _fucking_ Graham, of course!

“Graham!” she barks over her shoulder. “Why the hell aren’t you in class right now?!”

He seems to take her tone in stride… which makes sense, come to think of it, since this is pretty much the standard tone she uses to address him regardless of the situation. Seriously, between him, Stella, Max, and especially Kate, why do so many of the people she’s willfully and flagrantly rude to actually end up _liking_ her? Is there some weirdly in-depth experiment on the effects of Stockholm Syndrome being run at Blackwell without her knowledge?

“Oh, uh, this is my free period for the week?” he explains with a shrug. “Hey, so anyway, I heard about what happened with you and Ma—”

Warren coughs suddenly, his eyes bulging out in an effort to stop himself from putting his foot straight into his mouth at the sight of Victoria’s head whipping around, her eyes narrowing sharply.

“Ahem, heh, wh-what I meant to s-say, is… Stella just told me you and Kate are hanging out. That’s like… really cool, right? So, do you think _you guys_ would wanna go see the Planet of—”

Victoria groans again, hanging her head down and silently cursing her luck as his voice drones on in the background of her mind. Seriously, she does _not_ have time for this shit, and even worse, Warren has _nowhere else to be_. She could probably stand there in the middle of the boys’ dorm with her back turned to him like some kind of weirdo for hours and he would just yammer away about how Star Trek: The Next Generation is clearly the superior entry in the franchise. (Which is totally incorrect, anyway, because if you don’t prefer the hard-boiled badassery of Captain Kathyrn Janeway from Voyager then you’re a _fucking plebe_ and Victoria will brook _no_ argument to the contrary!)

…

_On the other hand_ … of all the boys living on this floor, Warren is square in the middle of Venn diagram between “Easiest to Intimidate” and “Least Likely to Snitch on Someone Screwing with Nathan Prescott.” So maybe this wasn’t such a bad turn of luck after all. In fact, she bets with just a slight change in tactics…

“ _Warren_ …” Victoria says, smiling sweetly and fluttering her eyelashes a bit, her voice positively _saccharine_.

His chatter about… time travel? And a roman emperor, or some shit… cuts off mid-sentence, a look that is a positively _delightful_ mixture of fear, suspicion, and confusion slowly beginning to take root. Victoria is not sure if it’s due to the sudden change of tone or the fact that she used his first name for the first time in recorded history that did it, but regardless she just _knows_ she will treasure the memory of the wavy-haired brunette’s current expression to the _end of her days_.

“Uh… y-yeah?” he stammers, his mouth contorting into something between a nervous grin and a pained grimace.

“Dear, _sweet_ Warren…” she continues, slowly turning toward him. His eyes go wide and the color drains from his face as her shifting angle begins to reveal the fire extinguisher in her hands.

“We’re not about to have a _problem_ , are we?”

Warren’s Adam’s apple bobs as he audibly gulps, his gaze shifting between the smile on her face and the blunt instrument in her hands for several moments. Finally, with a contemplative purse of his lips and a stiff shake of his head, he matter-of-factly states “Nope! No problems here… in fact, I just remembered a test I really need to study for, so… I’ll see you later?”

Victoria maintains that polite smile as Warren retreats to the safety of his room. "Sure thing! _Au revoir!_ " She obsequiously calls after him, before a passing thought strikes her.

"Oh, and Graham?"

He freezes midway through the act of closing his door, his nervous brown eyes meeting hers.

"Stop trying to make 'Warren G' a thing. It will _never_ be a thing."

He sighs and gives a put-upon little nod as he shuts the door. "Yeah, ok..."

"He's a rap _icon_ , Graham! A pioneer of West Coast hip hop! I will _not_ allow you to disrespect his legacy like that!"

"I got it, Victoria!" He calls through the wall.

With a satisfied nod of her own, Victoria turns back to room 111.

_Now that 'Warren G' is handled, it's your turn, Nate Dawg._

She raises the fire extinguisher over her head, slowly bringing it down to touch the handle. Once…

_REGULATOOOOOORS..._

Twice…

_MOUNT UP...!_

On the third heft, she brings the extinguisher down to crash into the door handle with all her might, the lock giving way with a loud CRACK after just one blow. Victoria makes a mental note to add “other people’s dads” to the growing list of people who can kiss her sweet cheeks as she hurriedly steps inside.

...

Goosebumps rise on her flesh as she looks around Nathan’s macabre little dungeon of a room. She’s hung out in here plenty of times without issue, of course… but there’s nothing like an attempted kidnapping between friends to put things in a different perspective, is there?

Victoria isn’t expecting to come across a signed confession or anything as she rifles through his documents, porno mags, and assorted knick-knacks. She’s seen most of his shit before, and thus glosses over anything that doesn’t immediately strike her as useful. Her objective is anything that can help to either find Nathan himself, or that she can potentially use as leverage against him should the need arise. Which makes the laptop perched on his desk an obvious choice for a good _yoink_ -ing.

And while she doesn’t find any _proverbial_ smoking guns lying around, a pamphlet offering instruction on the use of _actual_ hand-guns serves as a chilling reminder to get her ass in gear and proceed with getting _Kate’s_ ass out of town _ASAP_.

Laptop and charger in hand, Victoria is about to make her escape when scuff marks on the floor in front of his black pleather couch catch her eye, reminding her of similar markings in her own carpet left behind by Kate’s impromptu overnight redecorating. Thankfully, his furniture proves much easier to pull out of the wall… revealing a plastic bag holding a phone and some papers taped to the back.

_Nope… **that’s** not shady at all_.

Victoria jacks that shit as well before making tracks out of there.

*****

**Girls’ Dormitory – 2 nd Floor Hallway**

Though she half expected to be stopped by Samuel the Janitor to get _his_ hot take on current events on the way back to the girls’ dorm, thankfully no further obstacles between her and Kate manage to present themselves. At least, that is, until she steps into the second-floor hallway and spies Stella Hill, clad in her customary blue and yellow hoodie, standing just outside of Kate’s room and grinning widely while speaks through the open doorway.

“Dang, Hill,” Victoria sighs in dramatic fashion as she strolls towards her, still limping just a tad. “Does _anyone_ at this school actually attend classes?”

“I could ask you the same question,” Stella snarks back, not missing a beat. “I reserve my allotted absences for special occasions, like when the Queen of Blackwell decides to contribute to my best friend’s truancy.”

The dark-haired girl gives Victoria a quick once-over before her eyes land on the laptop tucked under her right arm, which elicits an appreciative whistle. “Nice hardware… you getting ready for a _CS:GO_ tournament or something?”

The blonde shrugs. “Nah, I’m more of a _League of Legends_ kind-of gal.”

This causes Stella’s eyes to widen in shock and no small amount of disbelief behind her rectangular-framed glasses. “No fucking way. What’s your ELO?”

_Hit Plat over the summer, bitch. Test my Akali and get wrecked!_

Victoria forgets that thought before she can voice it aloud, however, as she gets close enough to see Kate standing just beyond the threshold to her room, her dirty-blonde hair done-up in her usual bun. To be fair, the way the girl’s face lights up at the sight of Victoria _does_ make it pretty hard to concentrate on anything else. And the way Kate’s anything-but customary attire (wearing jeans of her own and a white sweatshirt with one of those Jesus fish embroidered in blue on the chest) takes Victoria’s mind back to that first day they met right here in the girls’ dorm hallway doesn’t help matters _at all_.

“Hi…” Kate says, her succulent red lips spreading into a shy little grin.

“… Hey.” Victoria returns with a smile of her own, suddenly very aware of how fast her heart is beating.

…

“ _Soooooo_ i’mma take that as my cue to bail, I guess…” Stella laughs, reminding Victoria that she is, in fact, still standing _right there_. After a few moments silence, she jokingly adds “I guess Warren and I will see you at the next Vortex Club meeting, Vic?”

“Uh-huh… sure thing Stella,” Victoria absently murmurs. She wants to spare the other girl a quick glance, just to be polite and all, but she finds herself transfixed by the delighted twinkle in those big, hazel eyes.

“Holy shit, yeah… I’ll leave ya’ll to it, then.” Stella chuckles as she starts off down the hall. “Have fun you two… and be _saaaaaaaaafe_ ~~!”

“Buh… bye Stella! Thanks again!” Kate calls with a wave, her cheeks aglow in pink once again. She giggles as she inspects Victoria’s outfit. “We… we match!”

“I guess so…” Victoria laughs. Even though Kate’s clothes are more Dollar General than Dolce and Gabbana, their color scheme _is_ on point. With a smirk, she adds “You didn’t have to go quite so far with the accessorizing, though.”

Victoria points to the slap mark Max left on her own cheek in response to Kate’s questioning gaze, which causes Kate’s blush to deepen as she turns to hide the injury she suffered at Nathan's hands. “Oh gosh, I know I must look awful…”

“No way…” Victoria reaches out to gently tilt Kate’s face back in her direction, leaving her fingertips to linger on the girl’s cheek. “You look like the bravest girl I’ve ever met.”

Something about the way Kate’s eyes soften as she once again leans into her touch, her lips slightly parting, threatens to take Victoria’s breath away. It’s… actually kinda hard to think about anything other than how bad she wants to kiss her right now.

But… she knows that when she does kiss Kate… kiss her _for real_ , this time… she wants it to be right. No, Victoria wants it to be _perfect_. So, she begrudgingly breaks the moment by making a show of glancing at her watch.

“You, um… about ready to hit the road?”

“Mmhmm!” Kate smiles brightly while nodding. “I’m all packed!”

“ _Très bien_ , then let me just toss a few things in the suitcase and we can GTFO!”

Victoria grins as Kate looks up and to her left, moving her lips silently as she works her way through the acronym. _God, this girl is too cute._

She is forced to stop and shake her head in exasperation, however, upon stepping inside her room and finding it to be _immaculately_ clean. Her bed is perfectly made, her shredded photos have disappeared, and there’s not even a _speck_ of broken mirror visible on the floor anymore. Even the glass-scored book she threw earlier has managed to find its way back to the proper place on her shelf.

Victoria doesn’t want to be the girl her mother raised her to be… the kind that leaves problems behind for others to deal with, as though cleaning up her own mess is somehow beneath her. But, she thinks to herself with a wry smile as she rifles through her closet, this is _Kate Marsh_ she’s dealing with. The girl that’s never met a selfless act of kindness that she didn’t like. How could she have expected anything different?

And… allowing someone like Kate to be kind to her, especially when Victoria has so much trouble being kind to herself? She’s starting to realize that maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all.

*****

**Arcadia Bay – Highway OR-6**

Eyeing the girl in her passenger seat as she eases her car onto the highway, Victoria just can’t keep the smile off her face. Kate is practically _vibrating_ with energy, seemingly trying to look in every direction at once while they chatter excitedly about the trip ahead of them. From the way she marvels at every aspect of the vehicle’s interior, one might wonder if Kate had ever ridden in a car _at all_ , much less cruising along in Victoria’s Audi with the top down and the wind whipping at her dirty-blonde bangs and the wisps of hair trying to escape her bun.

“So, back to the bun, huh?” Victoria interjects with a smirk the next time she has the opportunity to get a word in edgewise.

“Hmm?” Kate questions, reaching up to feel her hair before her eyes widen in realization. With an embarrassed laugh, she shrugs and adds “Oh! Force of habit, I guess. I was… so excited while getting ready that I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”

With a bite of her lip and a raise of her eyebrows behind her sunglasses, Victoria reaches out for Kate’s hair and asks “You mind if I…?”

The girl just grins and shakes her head in response, before turning to offer her hair to Victoria’s questing hand. With a few quick pulls, Kate’s long locks come spilling out of their previous confinement, causing the girl to laugh uproariously as the wind catches and starts whipping them around her head.

Before long they’re passing the blue and white sign that marks the border of Arcadia Bay, and Victoria can’t resist the urge to hold a middle finger up high for the town behind them, earning a scandalized giggle and a playful push of her shoulder from her passenger. But only a few seconds later, Kate is holding both hands up in the air and yelling “ _Wooooohooooooo!!!_ ” at the top of her lungs, prompting Victoria to give an enthusiastic wolf-howl of her own.

As their school and peers, their cares and worries shrink to nothingness in the rearview mirror, Victoria realizes that all she has at this very moment is the open road ahead of her, whatever is in her suitcase, and Kate at her side… more wild, and vibrant, and _free_ than she’s ever seen.

And for the life of her, Victoria can’t think of a single thing more that she could possibly want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a transitional chapter, this time... which, I guess is my way of saying sorry for giving you 10,000 words without a whole lot actually happening. ;)
> 
> I don't have a lot to cover in the notes this time, except to once again thank you all SO MUCH for sticking with this story all this time! That fact that people are reading and enjoying this work truly means the world to me. 
> 
> Also I have a couple of ideas for the next fic I'd like to work on after this one. Though I can't promise I'd go with the majority, please feel free to comment on which of these you're most interested in seeing!
> 
> A.) Another Blackwell Academy centric fic, where Kate is the one who is returning to Arcadia Bay after five long years, and the friend she left behind is... well, I'm sure you can guess. ;)
> 
> OR 
> 
> B.) A crossover fic with another game, wherein the cast of LiS are stranded in a remote location and must work together to figure out how to survive in hostile conditions.
> 
> Til next time... I guess I'll see you all in Portland! :D
> 
> *****
> 
> Chapter title reference: _[Chrissie Hynde](https://youtu.be/ky4Tcr9_3h8)_ by Butch Walker  
> 


	12. Let It Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria gets herself into a sticky situation. Kate is perhaps more than she bargained for...

**Friday, October 11 th, 2013 - ** **Highway OR-6 / US-26**

" _Chuh-Vurr-Ches?_ " Kate asks, her forehead wrinkling in confusion as she tests the name on her tongue. Her squint is due to a mixture of wind and afternoon sun in her face, and the questioning glance she’s shooting Victoria as they discuss the artist that’s currently playing through the Audi’s speakers. The girl’s hair is pulled back into a loose pony-tail, now, thanks to one of Taylor’s old scrunchies found abandoned in the glovebox… while letting her hair loose to flail about wildly was hilarious and freeing and _so_ worth it, they soon found that it made things like eating or holding a straightforward conversation more of a challenge than was strictly necessary.

"Well... It's 'Churches'," Victoria admits with a shrug, before flashing her passenger a cheeky grin. "But they spell it with a 'V', so I figure if they're going to be precious about spelling then I'll do the same for the pronunciation."

They’ve been making decent time, cruising along Route 6 with the drop-top’s top dropped for the past half hour or so… though it has been another hour on top of that since they left Arcadia Bay. They had a couple of stops to make once that place they call home was firmly in the rearview – the first order of business was a visit to Tillamook County Urgent Care, to get Victoria’s foot looked over and to put in a surreptitious request to have her blood tested. No stitches needed for the former, at least, and she will have to wait to hear back on the latter… she’s still not sure what a positive result for whatever she may been drugged with would mean for her and Nate, exactly, but at least it would be good to _know_. Kate assented to having her injuries examined as well at Victoria’s insistence, and while she walked out with a tube of antibiotic ointment at what was probably purchased at 10x mark-up, she at least wasn’t exhibiting any signs of a concussion.

The second detour had been to get some fucking _foooooood_ , especially since her stomach had been loudly complaining the entire time about the fact that she’d spent the past forty-eight hours surviving on nothing but alcohol, Kate’s cookies, and pure, high-octane _angst_ … and most of what remained of even _that_ had been vomited up a few hours prior. They hit the first greasy-burger place with a drive-thru they came across, and when a starving Victoria was faced with a dilemma of choice while looking at the menu, she simply said “screw it” and ordered one of everything that looked even remotely edible figuring they could split it between them. Kate must have been in the same boat, for after the initial hesitance over being treated to the meal, she ended up packing it away just as hard as Victoria was. It was garbage-food, empty calories all of it, but from the sounds of their frenzied chewing and satiated moans one might have thought the girls were eating ambrosia straight from the banquet halls of _Mount Olympus_.

Most of the rest of that time they’ve spent chatting, and laughing, and listening to music like a couple of people who don’t have a care in the world. Definitely _not_ like a couple of people that just barely survived being kidnapped by her best friend or a supernatural-vision induced attempted suicide.

Kate closes her eyes for a moment, moving her head in time with the bold synth riffs and electronic drum claps that emanate from the speakers. Victoria watches with fascination as she moves one hand along with the music as though she’s working the bow on her violin.

“Well, however it’s pronounced, I really like them…” she says finally, giving Victoria an enthusiastic smile. “Their music is catchy, but there’s a sense of urgency to it. It’s melodic with this almost obsessive edge underlying the tracks throughout the album. Almost… hopefully melancholic, if that makes any sense?”

“ _I know_ , right?! Not bad for a band that debuted last month, huh?” Victoria gushes, the casual disregard she outwardly portrays over what others think about her tastes instantly overwhelmed by the far more honest elation of _Someone-I-Like-Likes-This-Thing-I-Like_. “Their sound is just… _immaculate_ , like there’s not a single note wasted. And Lauren Mayberry’s vocals, _aggghhh_ … she breaks my heart every time! Doesn’t hurt that she’s drop-dead gorgeous, either.”

She finishes that last statement off with a wink, which elicits a suspicious squint from Kate… though the slight upturn of her lips gives away the lack of seriousness behind it. “Why, Victoria Chase, are you trying to make me _jealous_?”

“ _Mais non!_ ” she fires back with a smirk and a half-shrug. “Just saying, between the fact that she’s tiny, musically gifted, with delicate, almost elven features, and those expressive brown eyes of hers… it’s enough to make a girl wonder if she has a type after all.” Though Kate rolls her eyes at the shameless flattery, it gets her smiling and her ears burning red all over again, so Victoria will take it as a win.

She flicks her eyes back to the road as she takes a celebratory puff of the cigarette she’s holding between the first two fingers of her right hand. While she is normally loathe to smoke in her car, the top being down should be enough to keep the smell from settling into the interior. Plus, her nerves are still pretty damn shot, as evidenced by how angry she got after being cut-off by another vehicle a few minutes prior. To be fair, the driver of the Prius (c’mon, a _fucking_ _Prius_!) had the _audacity_ to flip Victoria off after she laid on the horn, which is what _really_ set her green eyes bulging and her teeth grinding with fury. It took Kate squeezing her thigh and soothingly reminding her that “it’s ok, it’s just traffic…” to keep her from attempting a pit maneuver right there on the highway. She settled for having a smoke and grumbling about how all Prius drivers should be rounded up and sent to forced driver-reeducation camps instead.

However, now Victoria can’t help but notice how intently Kate’s hazel eyes have locked onto her as she presses the cigarette between her lips. “What?” she laughs, pausing to turn her head and exhale a plume of smoke in the opposite direction. “You want one or something? You've been eye-balling me this whole time.”

The girl shakes her head quickly, her nose crinkling as though disgusted by the very idea of it. “Um, no thank you… I don’t really care much for smoking.”

“Oh, shit… sorry, I didn’t even think to ask if you minded before lighting up...”

“N-no!” Kate holds up her hands to forestall any further apology. “I d-don’t mind, really. I'm sorry for staring, it’s… it’s just…” Her cheeks grow a shade pinker as she trails off, her gaze downcast.

“It’s just…?” Victoria prompts with a nudge of her elbow.

Kate cuts bashful eyes back in her direction. "It's just... _you_ make it look very... _s-sexy_..."

...

Now _that_ gets Victoria flustered, and from the heat in her face and neck it feels like she's beating Kate's blush by a country mile. Of course, she has _absolutely_ smoked on occasion in a calculated effort to appear cool or mature. Seductive. She even left a pack on her desk for Mr. Jefferson to find after class one day in what she now sees as an absolutely cringey, douche-chill inducing ploy to get his attention. _'Look at me, Mark! Aren't I classy and grown-up and **totally** fuckable? ^_~'_

But to hear something like _that_ from an absolute teetotalling good girl like Kate? Blackwell’s one-woman ‘Just Say No’ campaign? Yeah, _that’s_ got her feeling some kind of way. As Victoria keeps her green eyes locked on the road ahead, her lips pursed pensively and her thumb absently toying with the butt of the cigarette, she’s not sure if she’d rather take the sultriest-looking drag she can manage just for Kate’s benefit, or snuff the thing out from sheer embarrassment.

“Buuuut…” Kate continues after a while, flashing Victoria one of those little smiles that usually telegraphs that she’s about to say something tooth-achingly sweet. “I do wish you’d quit… because I’d like for you to stick around for as long as possible.”

Outside of her parents, Victoria has met very few people in her life who are brave enough to tell her not to do something. Especially after having just stoked her ego by telling her she looks _hot_ doing that very thing immediately beforehand.

But then again… she’s never met _anyone_ like Kate Marsh.

“You know what?” Victoria asks with a smirk, raising an eyebrow at Kate as she takes one last, languid pull before stubbing the cigarette out in the ashtray.

“You’re just lucky you’re cute.”

*****

In the dozen or so minutes following merging onto highway 26, the conversation has mostly shifted to family. While Kate, perhaps unsurprisingly, doesn’t have much to say on the subjects of Dear Old Mom or Auntie Marsh, Victoria does learn that her father is a pastor in their hometown just south of Salem. For the most part, though, the girl gushes about her little sisters. Lynne, apparently, is the brains of the three of them… though to hear Kate tell it, you’d hardly know it these days as the girl has reached the age where she is almost constantly glued to her phone. The middle child, Gracie, seems to be following in her big sister’s artistic footsteps as an avid painter and piano-player.

Though most of her stories revolve around her sisters being giant pains in her butt, especially when they were younger, it’s clear that Kate absolutely adores them. It makes Victoria envious, as she can’t even begin to count how many times she wished for a sister, or a brother, or hell even a _gerbil_ to keep her entertained over the long, lonesome years of her childhood. Since her parents were often away on European vacations or gallery-related business trips, her only companionship during much of that time was the various nannies or other servants who came and went.

“I wish… I wish that I could have known you back then,” Kate says, her eyes shimmering with kindness and empathy as she gives Victoria’s right arm a reassuring squeeze just above the elbow. “I would have loved to keep you company.”

“That… would have been really nice.” Victoria admits. “I never really had many friends until…” _Nate._ “…until middle school. I was kind of a brat back then.”

“ _Was? Back then?_ ” Kate grins, obviously trying to tease her out of her sudden melancholy.

“Rude!” Victoria scoffs in return, fighting a losing battle against a grin of her own. Sauciness really _does_ suit this girl, after all. She hovers her finger over a button in the center of the steering wheel. “You _know_ this model comes pre-installed with an ejector-seat, right?”

“Uh-huh.” Kate giggles, raising her hands in surrender. “I don’t know how much you’d have liked me back then, though… not sure the little country girl with the second-hand clothes and chicken-legs would have done well at dressage or polo or whatever young Victoria was into.”

“More like anime and cosplay,” she chuckles. “I’d have dressed you and your chicken-legs up like Sailor Neptune and dragged you around town so we could fight evil with the powers of friendship and thinly-veiled yuri.”

“I only understood some of those words”, Kate giggles, “But still… that sounds wonderful…”

Kate then breathes out a wistful sigh, turning her gaze to her lap while idly picking at her jeans. “I think that would have really helped me, too… having a big family didn’t mean I wasn’t also lonely a lot of the time.”

Victoria gets that. She knows from hard experience climbing to the top of the Blackwell social ladder how easy it is to feel alone in a crowd. To be surrounded by sycophants, hangers-on, and, yes, even _friends_ , and still feel like none of them knows you… because you refuse to let any of them see all the way behind the curtain. To jump from lover to lover in search of something to fill that void, with each encounter leaving you feeling more empty than the last.

She rests her arm on the center console, with her palm up and fingers waggling invitingly. She’s not at all surprised to feel a dainty hand wriggle it’s way into hers mere moments later.

“Do… do you think there is such a thing?” Victoria asks. “Other worlds where we lived different lives. One where we grew up together and were best friends, another where we never even met at all… all that string-theory type shit?”

“’There are more things in Heaven and Earth…” Kate says with a little shrug of her shoulders. “I don’t really know, but… whatever world we’re in, I’d like to think that I’d always find my way to you.”

Victoria doesn’t meet her gaze as thoughts of rooftops and videos and bathroom mirrors play in her mind. Her voice cracks a little when she finally speaks again. “What if… what if in one of those worlds, I hurt you… Hurt you so bad that you didn’t want to be alive anymore…”

Kate squeezes her hand as she mulls over the question, and Victoria can hear the raw emotion in her quavering voice when she finally answers.

“If that were true, then… I would pray for that Kate. I’d pray that she would be able to see you the way I do. Because, if she did… I know that all she would want more than anything would be to hold you, and forgive you, and tell you everything was going to be ok.”

Victoria temporarily retrieves her hand, using it to remove her sunglasses and wipe the tears from her eyes before returning it to Kate’s. Of course, she shouldn’t be surprised that when presented with such a scenario, Kate’s first thoughts would be of _Victoria_ ’s feelings. That has seemingly been this baffling girl’s M.O. since she’s known her, after all.

But at the same time, it _frightens_ her. Because there is always that familiar worry gnawing at the back of her mind that she _will_ hurt Kate. That being with her will do more harm than good in the end, but Kate won’t see it until it’s too late because she’s too wrapped up in what Victoria needs. Or even worse… that Kate _will_ see it, but choose to stay with her anyway.

Thinking back on it now, Victoria wonders if that’s why she jumped in headfirst with Max almost as soon as the option presented itself. Because her feelings for Kate even back then were so confusing… and because loving Max was the _easy_ thing to do. Max always seemed so aloof, so _impenetrable_ , that Victoria never believed she could truly hurt her. And that gave her the perfect excuse to keep her own walls up, as well.

Kate, on the other hand, has this air of fragility about her, despite the quiet, unassuming strength she’s proven herself to possess in recent days. She’s almost ephemeral… like she can be here one second, and just _gone_ the next. Like a beautiful, headstrong little moth always, _always_ drawn to Victoria’s flame, never caring about how badly she might get burned.

And, she worries… is that what she’s doing right now? Has the flame grown so enamored with the moth’s delicate, mesmerizing little dance that she’s willing to invite her in, consequences be damned? After all, Kate was ready to jump off the top of the Girls’ Dormitory mere _hours_ ago, and visions or no visions, that’s not something that a person in a healthy state of mind just _does_. Victoria would be lying if she said that the thought that the first and _only_ place she should be taking Kate after getting her down off that roof was straight to Arcadia Bay General Hospital to get admitted for treatment hadn’t been plaguing her mind the entire trip.

Yes, she’s afraid of what Nathan might want to do to Kate. But wouldn’t she be just as safe in a hospital as she would be in a hotel? Safer, even? Was she doing the right thing with this little weekend getaway? Or was she using the threat of Nathan as an excuse to be _exactly_ as selfish and impulsive as she promised herself she was going to try _not_ to be when it came to Kate?

“… Victoria?”

It’s not until the quiet concern in Kate’s voice draws her out of her thoughts that Victoria realizes she’s gripping the poor girl’s hand like a vice, her pale fingers turning red from the pressure.

“Oh, s-sorry…” Victoria murmurs, using an entirely unnecessary lane change as an excuse to return her hand to the steering wheel with minimal protest from her passenger. “I guess I went a thousand miles away for a minute.”

“That’s ok…” Kate says with another of those sweet little smiles. “As long as you’ll have me, I’ll follow you anywhere you go.”

And it’s seeing that warm, unreserved affection in Kate’s eyes, combined with the exuberant gleam they’ve been shining with ever since they pulled out of the Blackwell Academy parking lot, that makes Victoria wonder if she’s perhaps over-thinking it like always. Maybe it’s not about doing what’s right or wrong, but about doing what they both need the most in this very moment. And, after the hellacious week they’ve both experienced, maybe giving themselves time to just _live_ in the moment is exactly what they need. A chance to allow each other a little peek behind the curtains.

They’ll have plenty of time to figure out what to do about visions and hospitals and mental health issues after she figures out the whole Nate situation and they get back to Arcadia Bay. That’s what Victoria tells herself, anyway. As they pass beneath the sign that indicates they’ve got ten miles to the exit that will take them straight into the heart of downtown Portland, she thinks of the words that Kate spoke to her during their rooftop dance earlier today… if for no other reason than because she desperately wants them to be true.

_We have all the time in the world._

*****

**Downtown Portland - The Riverfront Lodge**

Kate goggles at the hotel building before her, craning her neck upwards to take in the full height of it as Victoria hands off her keys to the valet. The girl seems startled by the porter who hurries up with an offer to take the bag slung over her shoulder, and embarrassedly tries to protest that she’s fine to carry it herself… until Victoria finally has to cajole her into allowing the man to do his job. Kate hurries after her while she hands off her own roller-suitcase and heads toward the front desk.

“Victoria…” the girl frets, leaning in close to whisper in her ear, “th… this place looks... _expensive_.”

She’s not _wrong_ , obviously. The Riverfront Lodge, aptly named for being practically within spitting distance of the Willamette river in downtown Portland certainly qualifies as a “luxury hotel”, though it’s far from the most lavish place Victoria’s stayed on previous weekend getaways.

“Well, duh.” Victoria responds flippantly. “What’d you expect, that I was going to take you to a motel 6?”

“No, I figured it would be nicer than that, but… I guess I was thinking of something more along the lines of a _Holiday_ _Inn_?”

Victoria stops in her tracks, causing the trailing girl to bump into her from behind. Slowly turning to give Kate her best shocked expression, she chides “I… _honestly_ don’t think I’ve ever been more offended in my _entire life._ ”

Kate begins to stammer out an apology, but frowns in exasperation when Victoria finds herself unable to keep a straight face. “It’s just… Victoria, this is _too much_.”

“Oh, calm down,” Victoria rolls her eyes as she turns back toward the check-in area. “The rooms on the lower floors are offered at very reasonable rates.”

“Wh… what floor are we on?” Kate asks, some measure of relief beginning to creep into her voice.

“… the top?” Victoria admits, grinning guiltily over her shoulder.

Kate closes her eyes tightly and rubs at her temples, muttering “Lord, please give me strength…”

She’s mostly silent during the check-in process and the elevator ride up to the top floor, looking something akin to a caged animal while Victoria makes small-talk with the porter. But when Victoria slides the keycard into the door and motions Kate to go on in ahead of her, the girl barely makes it three steps inside before loudly proclaiming “Oh my _GOD_ , it’s bigger than both our rooms at Blackwell _combined!_ ”

Victoria smirks and shakes her head as she palms a tip to the porter before following Kate in. Making her way through the foyer and into the master bedroom, she laughs at the sight of the girl laid out on the king-size bed with her arms splayed out to either side and her legs dangling off the edge.

“Well, what do you think? I know it’s no _Best Western_ or anything but I do hope it’s up to your exacting standards.”

Kate lifts her head just long enough to stick her tongue out before letting it flump back down onto the bedspread. “This… might just be the most comfortable bed I’ve ever laid on…” she begrudgingly admits.

“ _Très bien!_ ” Victoria exclaims while tossing the girl’s bag at her feet. “This one’s yours, then. I’ll take the guest room.”

“I still can’t believe a _hotel_ room has a _guest_ room!” Kate’s excitement to see the rest of the living space seems to be overwhelming her hesitance over the cost as she clambers back up to her feet. She starts to follow along behind Victoria, but is soon drawn to the floor-to-ceiling windows that offer a spectacular view of the river below them, the afternoon sun glistening off the water. “It’s… it’s _beautiful_ …”

Victoria isn’t looking out the window at all, but rather the girl with her hands and forehead pressed up against it when she smiles in response.

_Sure is…_

*****

Victoria sits next to Kate on the edge of the bed as credits roll on the screen in front of them. She decided to “pop Kate’s anime cherry” with the heart-breaking and gorgeously drawn _5 Centimeters per Second_ , a coming of age tale about two children in the throes of young, innocent love who are separated by circumstance and forced to grow up apart, each always longing for the other as they try to move forward with their lives. Having seen the film dozens of times already, Victoria mostly watches Kate's face with fascination as the girl gushes over the sheer spectacle of the animation, becomes entranced by the haunting beauty of the film’s score, and alternately smiles and cries as she is swept away by the exquisitely crafted story of the two young protagonists.

“ _Oh my Gosh…_ ” Kate swoons, “I really, _really_ need to watch more anime…”

“I can definitely help with that…” Victoria smiles. “What was your favorite part?”

Kate chews at her lower lip as she thinks that question over. “I mean… I loved all of it. But… just the way the film managed to capture that sense of distance between a person and the one they love, especially when they think they may never meet again… it really spoke to me, I guess.”

Though Kate is sniffling again as she speaks, Victoria’s eyes haven’t been able to leave her lips as she experiences her own intense feelings of longing.

“Hey, Katie…”

“Yeah…?” the girl asks as she wipes at her cheeks with another tissue, before throwing it in a nearby wastebasket along with its many brethren that failed to survive Kate’s encounter with the film.

“… Can I ask about the kiss?”

Kate’s face reddens as she looks down at the blanket below her, obviously caught off guard by the question. After a short silence, she says with a trembling voice “… I’m sorry.”

“You’re… _huh???_ ”

Kate presses the fingers of each hand together, forming a bridge like shape that she idly presses inwards and releases as she speaks, her voice quiet and hesitant. “Last night… I didn’t know Nathan had given you anything, but I knew you were drunk. You couldn’t even stand up on your own, and you were saying things that didn’t make sense. When you kissed me, I knew I should have stopped it, but… I couldn’t. And I’m really sorry for that.”

Victoria _really_ doesn’t know how to respond to that, so she does the mature thing by poking Kate in the side, eliciting a jump and a yelp from the girl as she clutches the spot protectively.

“Wh… what was _that_ for?” Kate asks incredulously.

Victoria takes a moment to file the fact that Kate is ticklish away for future use before pouting out her bottom lip a tad. “Little piece of advice, for dating insecure girls? Don’t ever tell them ‘I’m sorry you kissed me.’”

Kate’s eyes widen at that, before her brow furrows in consternation. “W-wait, I didn’t mean it like _that!_ ”

“Relax,” Victoria chuckles, “I know what you meant, and… I really appreciate it. Not many people I’ve hooked up with care enough to even wonder if they were taking advantage in that situation. But it’s all good, I’m the one who kissed you, right? And it’s not like you copped a feel or anything, so…”

Her eyes narrow as she trails off. “… you didn’t, right? Cop a feel?”

Kate’s entire head goes bright red, from her brow all the way down to her neck. “Oh, n-no! I would _never_ …!”

She takes a moment to gather her thoughts, before adding. “After we kissed, I could see how tired you were, so I got you to lie back down. I fell asleep pretty soon after…”

Victoria doesn’t know whether to feel respected or mildly disappointed, but in the end decides on relief at there being one less thing to worry about having forgotten in last night’s drug and alcohol-induced haze.

“… See? No worries then. Besides…” she smirks “you were basically my hero last night, so if you ask me a little kiss was the _least_ I could have done.”

Kate beams at her, an embarrassed kind of pride shining in her eyes. “… was that what you wanted to ask me? About… the kiss?”

“Oh… umm, no, but… you know what? Never mind…”

Tilting her head to the side, Kate asks “what is it?”

Victoria studies the wall on the other side of the room. “It seems pretty stupid after all that, so…”

“You’ve _got_ to tell me now,” Kate laughs, her curiosity obviously piqued.

Victoria sighs, her embarrassment slowly losing out to the fact that Kate clearly won’t let it go anytime soon. She cuts her green eyes back to Kate as she asks “Th… the kiss… it was pretty _good_ , right?”

It’s Kate’s turn to bashfully look away, a slow smile spreading across her face. Finally, she bites her lip and nods affirmatively.

Her ego boosted, Victoria grins coyly and greedily digs for more validation. “Well…? Quantify it for me! Are we talking top ten? Top five?”

Kate giggles as she covers her face with her hands. She peeks one hazel eye back at Victoria, before mumbling “It… it was my first…”

Victoria can feel some of the color draining from her face. “Your first… kiss? Y-you mean… with a girl?”

Kate’s hands remain in place as she shakes her head. “M-my first kiss _ever_ …”

“Oh God…” Victoria moans, closing her eyes as she rubs her forehead with her right hand. The relief she felt at having not drunkenly taken Kate’s virginity driven away by the shame of having drunkenly taken her _first kiss_.

“I guess maybe it was a little… sloppier than I imagined it would be? But…” Kate continues, driving the stake even deeper.

“ _OH GOD_ …”

“… but it was still really, _really_ nice…” the dirty blonde finishes with another enamored giggle.

"No!" Victoria declares, shaking her head vigorously. "Nope, nuh-uh, that... that doesn't count! I object, your Honor, I'd like to have that stricken from the record!"

"But..." Kate allows her hands to drop back to the bed, her eyes worried and self-conscious as she pleads "... but, _why?_ "

Noticing that the girl's hand landed dangerously close to her own, Victoria reaches out with one pinky to gently rub at Kate’s.

"Because... a girl like you deserves to have your first kiss be magical and perfect... Not from someone who's too drunk to stand up, or... or to remember it properly..."

Kate's eyes soften as a tiny, understanding smile begins to take shape on her lips.

“I… um…” Victoria clears her throat, suddenly feeling more nervous than she can ever remember being around a girl she was crushing on. “I don’t mind, being your first kiss… the idea is kinda growing on me, to be honest. But… if I am, I want it to be _me_ , you know? _All_ me, not influenced by drugs, or booze, or near-death experiences. And I also want to be sure that I’m not just… _using_ you for a rebound, or whatever. Because you deserve so much better than that…”

Her eyes are drawn to her hand by the feeling of Kate hooking Victoria’s pinky with her own.

“I understand…” Kate says softly. “And I told you, I can be as patient as you need me to be... so, objection sustained!”

Victoria grins ruefully, pulling at the girl’s pinky in an impromptu game of tug-of-war. “Thank God _that’s_ settled… I can’t have you going around saying Victoria Chase is a _sloppy_ kisser or anything.”

Kate returns the grin with one of her own, a mischievous glint in her eyes when she tugs back. “So… does that mean we’re _dating?_ ”

The short haired blonde can feel her ears burning as she stutters “Wh… what brought that on?”

“ _Wellllllll_ …” she drawls, with a coquettish fluttering of her eyelashes. “You _did_ say you were giving me a tip for dating an insecure girl, so…”

Victoria purses her lips as she can feel the burning spread from her ears all the way down into her chest.

_Damn… I guess you got me there. Well played, little bunny…_

“We’re… we’re not _not_ dating….” she finally answers, coyly looking away while at the same time using her ring finger to snag an extra one of Kate’s.

She can feel those delicate fingers gently caress her own as Kate sighs happily beside her.

"Hmmmm… I can work with that."

*****

A sizable dent in a couple of delivered pizzas later (Kate insisted on paying, to which Victoria begrudgingly accepted as long as she ordered one with “literally all of the carbs”), and the girls’ conversation has moved onto less… _romantically fraught_ fare. Victoria knows that she should be getting to work on digging through Nathan’s computer, but she keeps putting it off. Mainly because it’s been so _nice_ just chilling and getting to know the girl she’s been alternately obsessing over and running away from for the past six weeks.

Leaning back on a pile of pillows with her hands covering her recently conceived food-baby, she can feel the contented sleepiness of over-eating coming on, but does her best to power through it.

“Have you thought about what you want to do now that you’ve basically got your whole life ahead of you again?” Victoria asks, peering through heavy lids at the girl sitting cross-legged on the other side of the bed.

“I guess a little…” Kate says, twisting her mouth into a pensive expression. “First of all, I suppose I need to catch up on my homework. I let myself get a couple of weeks behind since… well, you know.” She gives Victoria an embarrassed shrug, before adding. “I think I have a couple essays due, too…”

“So, is that your way of telling me I should’ve let you jump after all?”

“ _Hey…!_ ”

“Oh _no_ , missy!” Victoria points a stern finger in Kate’s direction. “You do _NOT_ get to play the ‘too soon’ card on me after your little ‘changed my mind’ joke!”

Kate looks up and to her left as though thinking that over, before giving an acquiescing nod. “I’d really like to get back into helping with Meals on Wheels, I… feel really bad about letting that slide. And catching up with Stella, Warren and Alyssa too, since I haven’t been the best friend to them lately. Oh, maybe drama club? I heard they’re doing _Wuthering Heights_ this year…”

“Dang, I’m gonna have to start calling you ‘Extra-curricular Katie’ or something,” Victoria teases with one eyebrow raised. “But, uh… I can’t help but notice you didn’t include ‘Abstinence Awareness’ in there…”

In response, Kate gives her _that look_ again… the one that carries such a _heat_ to it that she can almost feel it on her skin. The look that gives her a sudden urge to nervously change the subject.

“Y-you know I was in drama once, in Freshman year? We were doing _The Tempest._ ”

“Oh, really? What did you play?” Kate asks with interest, though Victoria can still see that flame smoldering behind her eyes. Almost as though they’re saying _‘I’ll let you off easy, this time…’_

“Eh…” she shrugs. “I was an alternate for the lead role, and was even thinking I’d get a shot at it for a hot minute, but… it didn’t work out.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, I’m sure it was disappointing.”

“Nah,” Victoria murmurs absently. “In the end it was a relief more than anything. I realized that I kind of hated it, so I dropped out of Drama right after.”

A sudden snickering from Kate’s direction causes Victoria to look up at the girl sharply. _Suspiciously_. “… what’s so funny?”

The muscles in Kate’s face tighten with the effort to hold back her laughter. “ _N-nothing!_ ” she manages to squeak, covering her mouth with her hands as her hazel eyes dance with mirth.

Sitting up straight, Victoria grabs a pillow from behind her head and gives the girl a warning glare. “I swear to God, if you make me come over there…”

The dam finally bursts, and soon enough Kate is doubled over as peals of melodic laughter escape her body. Victoria hefting the pillow threateningly only makes the girl laugh even harder, holding one hand up defensively while wiping her eyes with the other.

“It’s just… _heeee_ …!” Kate wheezes out between breathless chortles. “the thought of… what people would say if I told them _‘Victoria Chase_ hates _drama’_ … _heeeeeeeeeeee_ …!!!” If she has anything more to add, she clearly can’t force it out between the noises that are steadily rising in both pitch and volume.

Victoria’s jaw drops open, her eyes going wide at the sheer _impertinence_ of the girl who is practically _howling_ in front of her right now. “ _Bitch_ , you have gotten downright _surly_ with me lately and I don’t think I like it!!!”

Actually she’s _loving_ it, not that she would ever admit that… but it’s _really_ fucking hard not to crack up herself at the sound of Kate’s infectious laughter.

“I’m sorry… haa… I’m sorry…” Kate gasps, pressing her hands to her stomach as she slowly brings herself under control by taking deep, shuddering breaths. Victoria lowers the pillow in her hands as Kate seems to calm herself at last.

“You better be!” she grumbles, giving Kate the dirtiest look she can muster. “If you think I’m gonna just let you dunk on me over and over all weekend…”

But when Kate raises her mirthful eyes to meet Victoria’s faux-serious glare, her mouth stretches wide as the snickers break free all over again.

“Oh, that is _IT!_ ” Victoria cries, grinning wolfishly as she lashes out with the feathery pillow in her hand. Kate squeals between cackles as the pillow connects with her head, her arms raised just a hair too late to block it. The short-haired blonde rises up on her knees and two-hands her next strike, the downy weapon hitting hard enough to bowl the teetering girl over onto her side.

“You’re _dead_ , Marsh! Dead!!!”

Victoria raises the pillow high overhead, only to bring it back down once, then twice… earning a glee-filled screech from her victim with each blow. Kate rolls onto her front in an effort to crawl away, whether to escape or retrieve a pillow of her own her assailant isn’t sure. Either way, there’s no way in _hell_ Victoria is letting her off _that_ easy.

Grabbing her by one of the belt loops on her jeans, Victoria uses her leverage to flip Kate over onto her back. Quickly she presses the advantage, straddling the girl’s thighs to pin her in place as she brings the pillow down on her once more. Kate raises her hands to block the next strike, only serving to stoke the fires of Victoria's vengeance even further.

With a predatory gleam in her eyes, Victoria grabs the pillow by either end and presses it down onto the struggling girl, leaning all her weight into it as though trying to smother her.

“You know…” she coos menacingly, a wicked grin plastered on her face. Kate is kicking out with her legs in a way that is… well, it’s definitely not _unpleasant_ , that’s for sure. “The hotel offers free body-removal service for top-floor guests…”

Kate, who had been pressing upward in a losing battle against Victoria, suddenly lets her hands fall to the bed on either side of her head. Her hazel eyes twinkle up at Victoria over the top of the pillow that is now covering her nose and mouth as all her struggling comes to an inexplicable halt.

“… Not the _worst_ way to go…” she says, her voice muffled by the couple inches of fabric and feathers that are being pressed onto her.

“You think I’m _bluffing_ …?” Victoria growls, punctuating the threat with a bite of her lower lip.

Kate’s eyes narrow with something that could be _challenge_. “… A Chase _never_ bluffs…” replies that cushion-dulled voice once more.

The thrill of the hunt courses through Victoria’s body as she re-situates the pillow to cover Kate’s entire head. Her quarry doesn’t raise her hand an inch, doesn’t move a muscle as she presses the pillow down as hard as she can over the girl’s face.

_This… this is…_

Maybe it’s the blood pumping through her veins, or the pleasant tingles radiating up into her body from Kate’s earlier writhing. Or maybe it’s the way Victoria can make out the muted contours of Kate’s nose and mouth through the pressure-thinned pillow…

_… **dangerous**._

But whatever it is, _FUCK_ if Victoria just can’t _even_ help herself right now. Shuddering with desire, Victoria lays down over top of Kate and presses her mouth down _hard_ into the top of the pillow… right over the spot that is covering Kate’s own lips.

She has no way of knowing what the blinded, smothering girl thinks is happening, and she sure as shit won’t admit to it later… but from the way Kate’s body stiffens underneath her, from the way her hands snake out from underneath the pillow to grab hold of Victoria’s wrists, it seems like she might have _some_ idea.

_Danger! Danger! High Voltage!_

Victoria insistently attacks, nuzzling into the pillow as she feels the barest hint of those full, supple lips through the give of the fabric between them. She lifts her face only to bring it forcefully back down again, as though she’s trying to kiss a hole right _through_ the pillow itself. Is Kate’s head moving underneath the pillow now because she’s gasping for breath? Or is she mirroring Victoria’s movements just as hard from her own side?

_Umm… Vic? This is getting a little… VIC?!_

Kate raises one of her thighs upward between Victoria’s legs, sending a shiver through her body. If she's worried about breathing, she’s showing no sign of it as those dainty hands remain locked in place around her wrists. Victoria’s mind is so goddamn _thick_ right now that she is barely registering the fact that the bottom of the pillow is being inexorably forced upward from their combined movements, already having uncovered the captive girl’s chin in the process. She presses further, now barely an inch remaining until Kate’s lips are revealed… a centimeter… a fucking _millimeter_ …

_SHIT!!! Abort, you thirsty fucking HO! ABORT!!!!_

Pushing with all her strength, Victoria manages to heave herself upward and to the side, finally breaking Kate’s grasp as she rolls off of her. By the time Kate sits up, the pillow falling from her face to plop into her lap, Victoria is already off the bed and a couple of feet toward the bathroom door.

“Well…” she pants, taking a moment to run fingers through her mussed hair, “… now that you’ve sufficiently been taught the price of your impudence, _I’m_ gonna go take a quick shower. Afterwards I was thinking we could go for a walk along the waterfront, if that’s something you’re interested in?”

Kate’s eyes are wide and glassy, her jaw slack and her lower lip quivering as she gasps for breath, both of her hands pressed tightly to her chest. For a moment Victoria isn’t sure if Kate even _heard_ her, much less comprehended her words… but just before she’s about to repeat herself, Kate gives her a quick, affirmative nod.

“Great! Then… I guess I’ll be right back.” She flashes Kate a grin before casually strolling into the bathroom like absolutely _nothing at all_ untoward just happened between the two of them.

However, as soon as the door closes, she sags back into it as her knees threaten to give out beneath her. Her arms pressed to either side of the wall as though she’s trying to barricade the door with her body, Victoria desperately attempts to take control of her own breathing.

_Holy shit. Holy fucking shit…_

Victoria has taken many lovers, even multiple at once on occasion. Her love life up until now has been… _adventurous_ , to say the least.

So with that in mind, how was kissing a _pillow_ just about the hottest fucking thing she’s ever experienced?

She had come close, _so close_ to kissing her. Just ripping that pillow out of the way and _searing_ Kate with a kiss so passionate it would be sure to burn the memory of their last kiss right out of her mind. She wanted it so bad… and Kate obviously wants it too. So why did she stop?

Because Victoria knows that if she had claimed Kate’s lips just then, she _wouldn’t_ have stopped there. And there’s no way in hell Kate would have stopped it either. She’s seen the lust in Kate’s eyes enough to know that she just barely managed to escape an all-or-nothing type of moment.

And she _wants_ it all, of _course_ she does… but she’s afraid. Afraid of what it means. Because Kate is one of those adorable little penguins that mates for life, and Victoria isn’t sure that she’s ready for something so deep and terrifying and all-consuming as the feelings that are building up inside of her with each passing moment.

And because the last thing she wants to do is end up hurting Kate. It’s the one thing she’s desperately trying to make goddamn sure she _never_ does again.

It’s been around eight hours since she held Kate in her arms on that rooftop and told her that she wants to take things slow, make sure they do this right. And she meant that, every word. But at the same time… she wants nothing more than to rush back in that room and pounce right back on top of the girl before proceeding to _blow her fucking mind_.

_Oh my God, I am SO screwed…_

When she eventually manages to hop in the shower, she makes sure that motherfucker is _ice_ cold.

*****

The vibe has noticeably changed between them as they walk along the streets and sidewalks that line the Willamette river, the fading sunlight bathing the water and surrounding areas in that gorgeous, golden hue Victoria loves so much. Well, not so much changed but… perhaps _escalated_ is a better term. The normally shy and quiet girl to her left shows no hesitation in grabbing her hand, or taking her arm as they walk side-by-side, seeming not at all flustered by showing such public displays of affection in the middle of a crowded walkway. Kate even nuzzles in close to her shoulder when they stop briefly to watch a pair of ships pass them by, clutching tightly to Victoria’s arm as though her life depended on it.

And Victoria can’t help but notice the way Kate sits _so close_ to her when they stop to eat shaved ice, sharing a spoon while they sit on a stone bench to watch the waters of the Salmon Street fountain dance and glimmer in the fading light. Not that Victoria minds the way her heart flutters every time their legs brush against each other, or the way the twinkle of Kate’s eyes makes it harder to breathe as the girl presses the very spoon that just touched Victoria’s lips between her own.

Flashes of all the anime girls she’s seen fawning over an “ _indirect kiss~~!_ ” play through her mind, and though Kate’s education on the common tropes of Japanese animation hasn’t reached that point yet, the knowing grin she gives her as Victoria takes the spoon back perhaps a little _too_ quickly implies that the girl already understands the concept well enough.

Dusk is falling over Portland as they stop to listen to a street busker’s absolutely sweet and lovely rendition of _“Can’t Help Falling in Love”_. And when Kate nestles in close once more while the pony-tailed, beanie-clad twenty-something sings about how “only fools rush in…”, Victoria takes the opportunity to pull the smaller girl in even tighter by wrapping that arm around her shoulders. Kate responds by encircling Victoria’s waist with her arm, and her pulse thuds wildly in her throat at the feeling of Kate’s fingers idly tracing the waistline of her jeans. In fact, her own trembling nerves are the only thing keeping Victoria from “helpfully” moving Kate’s hand lower to caress her hip, or claim her back pocket.

As they make their way back to the hotel, she’s getting the growing impression that the door she opened with her little pillow stunt earlier can’t be closed even if she wanted to… and she’s pretty sure she _doesn’t_ , not if the way Victoria’s skin tingles at the memory of Kate’s slender body underneath hers is anything to go by. Kate’s foot is in the door now, and it feels like just the slightest push will have the girl flinging it open the rest of the way.

And is that what she’s been trying to do, with all her flirting, and innuendos, and coming so close to kissing her only to pull away at the last moment? Is she subconsciously trying to push Kate into making the choice, so that _she_ won’t have to? So that she can bypass her own fear and guilt and impulsive nature by being swept away by Kate’s desires?

The Victoria of a couple months ago would say ‘Hell no, I flirt because _I’m a flirt._ It’s not my fault Katie’s so fun to mess with.’ But the current Victoria, the one that is trying to do the hard work of actually being _honest_ with herself for a change? _She_ has to admit that’s _exactly_ the kind of thing her cowardly ass would do.

The air in the elevator is _thick_ as they ride up to the top floor on the way to their room. The silence between them cut only by longing glances, shy smiles, Victoria’s nervous chuckling as Kate softly hums the Elvis Presley tune they just heard. It doesn’t help that Victoria finds herself counting the seconds of the ride, contemplating exactly how much she could accomplish in that space of time. It also doesn’t help that the way Kate’s hungry hazel eyes keep flicking back and forth between Victoria’s and the slowly-increasing floor number makes her wonder if she’s thinking the exact same thing.

Victoria tries to think of what she might say to extricate herself from this situation as she turns to close the door and lock the deadbolt behind them after following Kate into the room. She _does_ need to stop avoiding going through Nate things, after all, because she knows the only reason she hasn’t done so for this long is because she’s honestly afraid of what she might find. Somehow, though, even _Nathan_ seems less terrifying than Kate right now.

So, with the perfect excuse to beg off back to the guest room ready on her lips, she turns… only to have those words smothered in their infancy at the sight of Kate standing right in front of her, those all-knowing, all- _wanting_ eyes seeming to nearly bore into her skull.

“ _JESUS_ , Katie you nearly made me jump out of my skin!” she gripes.

“I’m sorry…” she says, not sounding sorry _at all_ as she smooths a stray lock of dirty-blonde hair behind her ear with her right hand. Those penetrating eyes never leave Victoria’s for an _instant_. “I just wanted to ask you something, is all.”

_Oh hell oh damn oh shit_

“Wh… what is it?” Victoria asks, painfully aware that there is absolutely nowhere she could run right now even if she could bring herself to try.

Kate’s red lips form into a sensuous smile. “You… enjoy _teasing_ me, don’t you?”

_Yes yes yes God yes..._

“M-maybe…” Victoria acknowledges, her breath catching in her throat. “You got a problem with that?”

“No… I don’t mind it at all, really. It’s… kinda growing on me, to be honest.” That sensuous smile becomes a cheeky grin as Kate takes a step forward.

Victoria takes a half-step back, her heart racing as she finds herself pressed against a door for the second time today.

“It’s just…” Kate says, that heat returning to her gaze as she places her hands on Victoria’s shoulders.

Victoria’s mouth has gone dry, and she can barely hear Kate’s words over the sound of her own pulse in her ears.

“… be careful…” the girl murmurs as she raises up on her tiptoes, her mouth inching ever-so-slowly toward Victoria, who can’t help but wet her own lips with her tongue in anticipation.

_Do it Katie do it put me out of my misery pleaaaasssee…_

But those lips Victoria wants to taste so badly divert at the last instant... and she can soon feel Kate’s breath tickle the hairs on her ear as she finishes with a whisper.

“… not to start something you can’t _finish_ , Chase.”

Then, before Victoria can begin to register her words, Kate is rocking back on her heels and stepping away… several paces out of reach before Victoria can even think to try and stop her.

“Since you took the first shower, I think I’m going to call dibs on the tub…” Kate smirks over her shoulder. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

Victoria finds herself unable to respond, between trying to catch her breath, work spit into her dry mouth, and remembering how to use her brain to form words. She does manage to give Kate a little nod, at the very least.

“Great! I’ll see you later then…” Kate giggles as she practically _skips_ her way to the bathroom.

Victoria just stands there, her mind spinning as she stares blankly at the closed bathroom door and listens to the sounds of the tub filling beyond it. She came close, _so close_ to letting Kate making the choice for her, to being swept away by her kiss and whatever else would be sure to follow. But, as usual, the maddening girl somehow managed to see _right_ through her… almost as though she were saying ‘ _Really_ bitch _,_ you think I’m gonna make it _that_ easy on you?’ before throwing the ball right back in Victoria’s court.

It’s been approximately ten hours since she told Kate that she wants to take things slow, make sure they do this right. And she _did_ mean it, honestly. But right now she wants nothing more than for Kate to come back in here and _take_ her right against this door that she still hasn’t managed to take a step away from… and not let up until Victoria can’t even remember her own _name_.

…

_Yep…_ Victoria eventually thinks to the sound of the water sloshing from the other room as Kate steps into the tub. _I had it right the first time…_

_I am TOTALLY fucking screwed…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... fluff? Is this fluff? I honestly don't know lol, I found this chapter to be a lot more difficult to write than the past eleven chapters full of stress and angst for some reason. As always, any critique or advice on how I can improve my fluff skills would be greatly appreciated. Or anything else, for that matter!
> 
> Do you think Victoria did the right thing by concocting a way to give them both a few days of fun, or should she have been looking out for Kate's health first and foremost?
> 
> More on the whole Nathan investigation, more fluff, and more ??? to come next chapter! XD
> 
> *****
> 
> Chapter title reference: _[Last Hope](https://youtu.be/7U0eY3D8DeI)_ by Paramore  
> 


	13. The Dream in My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though their time in Portland has been like a dream, Victoria and Kate are soon hit with a dose of reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild trigger warning: the first section of this chapter includes an implied threat of sexual assault as part of a dream sequence.

**Saturday, October 12 th, 2013 - ??????**

Victoria opens her eyes to find herself enshrouded in darkness. It is not the near-perfect blackness of a room at night, with the barest shapes of surrounding furniture visible thanks to what moonlight manages to filter through the curtains. No, this darkness is _total_. It is _void_.

It is the void of that endlessly deep, endlessly dark well she’s visited before. The one that part of her feels like it’s been trapped inside for years. Did she truly escape, last time? Or was that ghostly light that lifted her up to the warmth, safety, and comfort of Kate’s arms nothing more than a beautiful dream born of a desperate mind?

Victoria is on her back this time, lying on something soft with naught but cold air touching her mostly bare flesh. She tries to move but can’t, her wrists and ankles bound fast by something she cannot see. Panic surges through her body and mind as she thrashes about to free herself, but to no avail… whatever is restraining her does not give even the slightest inch.

Victoria cries out for help, screaming herself hoarse yet hearing no response save for her own voice echoing back at her, like some cruel mimic taunting her pleas. She turns her head this way and that, bending and twisting her neck as far as she’s able in a desperate search for that delicate light from before. But she cannot find even the barest glimmer. She’s all alone… perhaps she’s _always_ been alone.

_No… no, that’s **not** right_. Victoria _did_ get out before. The light saved her. _Kate_ saved her. Victoria needs to find her; she needs to find the…

“ _Let there be light…_ ” A soft, feminine voice giggles from the inky void.

Suddenly Victoria is flooded with luminescence, though this is not that gentle light, all hazels and golds that she discovered when she last found herself in this place. This is white. Fluorescent. _Blinding_ to her eyes that heretofore have struggled to pick out even the scantest of details from the opaque blackness that enveloped her. It takes several long (seconds? Minutes? Hours?) of gently cracking open her eyes and rapidly blinking away the afterimages of this new light’s harsh assault before they are finally able to adjust enough to take in her surroundings.

Victoria is lying atop a bed adorned by silk sheets, naked as the day she was born save for the pearl necklace around her throat. It almost seems fitting that the piece of jewelry she’s worked so hard to associate with the Victoria Chase Brand would be the only stitch of clothing whoever trapped her like this would deign to leave her with. Her wrists and ankles are secured by thick black bands, which are themselves attached to the nearest bedposts, her limbs splayed out to form an ‘X’ shape. She has never felt more vulnerable… more _exposed_. Every hair on her body, every ridge, every blemish and imperfection mercilessly highlighted by the twin studio lamps that stand just beyond the foot of the bed.

She is about give screaming another try when the unmistakable - _CLICK CLICK CLICK_ \- of a camera’s shutter causes her to freeze, the cry dying in her throat. The panic that was coursing through her gives way to cold dread of inevitability as a figure begins to step out from the shadows.

“I was _so_ upset when I found out that you destroyed your beautiful photographs… such a waste,” the figure sighs, as the light begins to give it form and color. A small frame. Red lips. Flashes of pale skin. The voice is so familiar, save for the dark edge that just makes it feel… _wrong_ , somehow.

“But don’t worry, I forgive you… we can make more, after all. We have _all the time in the world._ ” Another couple of steps forward, another series of shutter clicks, before the figure… before _Kate_ lowers the camera from her face, causing Victoria’s eyes to nearly bug right out of her head.

It _is_ Kate, but… unlike Victoria has ever seen her before. Her red lips twisted into an almost sadistic smirk. Her hazel eyes sharp, and hidden behind a pair of glasses with black, rectangular frames. Her dirty blonde hair cut short, parted smartly to the right and spiked up with gel or mousse. She’s wearing a white, men’s dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, dark slacks, and black shoes. The slender hands that hold the camera in front of her are covered by thin, translucent vinyl gloves.

“Hold that stare!” Kate exultantly cries, grinning wolfishly as she raises the camera to her face before muttering “Oh, _Christ_ … look at that perfect face.”

“Wh… wh…” Victoria tries to speak, but her mouth doesn’t obey.

“Shhh…” Kate soothes, stepping over to Victoria’s left foot, crouching so that the camera is aimed at an angle nearly level with Victoria’s face in a line parallel to her bare leg. “Nice… good… Oh, those _eyes_ …”

Victoria’s mind is reeling. This doesn’t make any sense. She’s never seen Kate act so, so… _predatory_ before. And the way she’s dressed, if she had a beard she’d almost look like…

“… like _Mark_?” Kate sneers at the name as she stands once again. Raising gloved fingers to her cheeks, she slowly glides them down her neck, chest, and stomach before stopping just above the zipper of her pants. “What… don’t you like my new look? Doesn’t this turn you on? Or were you just trying to make me jealous, rubbing it in my face like that every day in his classroom? I saw the way you _looked_ at me every time you practically sat in his lap like some cheap whore…”

“Or… is this more your speed?” Suddenly Kate is straddling Victoria’s legs, her hair now falling around her face in a stringy bob-cut, the dress shirt replaced by a pink tee with a deer emblazoned on the front under a gray hoodie. The polaroid camera she’s pointing down at Victoria’s head and chest clicks and whirrs as she depresses the trigger, the picture it spits out fluttering down to land on Victoria’s stomach. It is soon followed by another, and another. “ _Maxine_ might have tried to hide it under all those preppy clothes, but you know she was just _dying_ to unleash her inner hipster.”

Letting the camera fall to her side, Kate raises her left hand to tap her lips with a thoughtful finger. “No… I’m pretty sure _this_ is what you want.”

Kate is on her hands and knees now, clad in that black sequined dress from the night before, her face hovering mere inches above Victoria’s. She turns to give her a good view of the blue and purple bruise that mars her left cheek. “I’ll make you forget _all_ about them. And Taylor, and Courtney… and Nathan and… what’s-her-name? That little trollop he’s always pining for?”

_Rachel…?_ Victoria finds that she can’t voice the name, fear constricting her throat. It… it _is_ fear she’s feeling…

… _isn’t it?_

She shivers as the tip of Kate’s polished nail gently scrapes at the hollow of her throat. The smirking girl lifts the string of pearls into the air by one finger, causing the rest of the strand to pull tight around Victoria’s neck.

“They can’t have you… they can’t touch you. You’re _mine_ , now…”

Kate’s long hair tickles Victoria’s cheeks when she looms over her, her face a picture of possessiveness and primal lust. Victoria’s lips seem to part of their own accord as Kate lowers herself, just barely avoiding brushing them with her own.

“I have you _all_ to myself,” she murmurs. The girl begins crawling backwards ever so slowly, every movement sultry and deliberate as she keeps her mouth hovering just above Victoria’s skin. Victoria gasps involuntarily at the feel of Kate’s hot breath caressing her goose-pimpled flesh.

“Is that what you want, Victoria…?” Kate’s piercing gaze remains locked onto her as she slinks down past her chest, her stomach…

“To stay down here, in the dark…” she whispers, her face now hovering just between Victoria’s hips. “… with me?”

Victoria tries to speak, but it comes out as little more than a strangled gurgle.

“I can’t hear you…” Kate chuckles, the sudden burst of air sending what feels like an electric jolt through Victoria’s body.

Victoria clears her throat, squeezing her eyes tightly closed as she finally manages to cry out her response.

“… _YES._ ”

*****

**Downtown Portland – Riverfront Lodge**

Victoria gasps herself awake. Though she finds herself shrouded in darkness once more, this time is different than the last. For one, the hazy numerals on the digital alarm clock nearby gives off a faint red glow that combines with the ambient light filtering its way through the curtains to her left. For another, she can just barely spot the outlines of unfamiliar furniture nearby. The fact that she’s not tied to the bedposts is another dead giveaway.

Of course, she suffers from a brief bout of confusion over the fact that her bed is too large, and none of her furniture seems to be in the right place. Then everything starts to click into place. She’s not at Blackwell, she’s at the hotel room in Portland. The guest room, to be precise… which means Kate is in the main bedroom on the opposite side of that door just over there. And where she was just now… that was a _dream_.

And, uh… _whew_ what a dream that was. She can still feel the tightness of the restraints on her wrists. The chill on her skin, followed by the heat of Kate’s breath. Her heartrate is still elevated, maybe from fear at first but… by the end? Yeah, to say she woke up wet would most definitely be an understatement. _Drenched_ would be more accurate.

_I mean, sure… it started off kinda scary at first. Maybe had a bit of a rape-y vibe going, but… did it have to stop right before getting to the **good** part?_

After all, plenty of women have fantasies along those lines, and it wasn’t _that_ far off from some of the scenarios she’s imagined about Kate specifically. And the confines of one’s own mind is ultimately a safe space with which to explore that kind of thing, right? Sure, she takes on the role of the aggressor with most of the people she pursues in fantasy _or_ reality, but it’s almost always been different when it comes to Kate. Maybe it’s the intensity of the girl’s stare, that look of burning _need_ in her eyes… is it brining out Victoria’s inner submissive or something? Or is it just the irony of being ravished by the pure, virginal choir girl that gets Victoria’s motor running?

In any case, she at the very least learned one thing of value from that dream: Katie can absolutely rock the _hell_ out of men’s business-casual attire. God _damn_.

It didn’t take a therapist with seven PhDs to figure out where a dream like that came from, either. Kate had cranked the sexual tension up to 11 with that fake-out kiss earlier in the evening, only to traipse off to take a bath without a care in the world while leaving Victoria with a _massive_ case of blue balls. And that bath was _long as shit_ , too, so she was forced to listen to Kate sloshing and splashing and humming to herself while Victoria could do nothing but stew in her pajamas with a petulant little pout on her lips. Like, _‘don’t start what I can’t finish’?! Please, I can ‘finish’ in more ways than you can even count! And what the fuck are you even doing in there anyway?!_

In the end she must have fallen asleep before Kate got out, because one minute she was sitting there running through all the delightfully scandalous ways she could get payback for that little stunt, to regain the upper-hand… and then she was waking up as she is now, with the light to her room turned off and someone having pulled the bed covers up to her chin. And… did she remember the feeling of soft lips being pressed to her forehead, or did she just dream that too?

Regardless, now she finds herself essentially right back where she started, in her bed alone in the guest room of the hotel suite after Kate, this time _cross-dressing BDSM dream Kate_ , left her with blue balls _again_. Which everyone would surely agree is just _rude_. Seriously, how can you invade someone’s mind and get them all fired up and then just leave them hanging like this?

While she lays there, her fingers idly tracing the buttons of her silk pajama top just above her belly button, she’s having a really hard time stopping herself from imagining sneaking into Kate’s bed and kissing her awake like _Sleeping Beauty_ or whatever, then kissing her some more until they see where the night takes them. Sure, it’s not the ideal way Victoria imagined their ~~second~~ first kiss and first… _whatever else_ would go, but… she’s horny _now_. She wants Kate _now_. Victoria’s never been good with delayed gratification, it’s a fucking miracle she’s lasted this long to be quite honest.

_Of course,_ she thinks as her fingers creep closer to the waistline of her pajama bottoms, _option #2 would be a little ‘self-care’, see if I can fall back asleep after getting some post-nut clarity. Maybe even pick up where we left off in that dream. It wouldn’t be **that** inappropriate, right? I mean, Kate was right about the size of this suite, we’re probably further apart right now than if we were in our dorm rooms…_

It is while Victoria is trying to convince herself that masturbation is the reasonable, nay, the _responsible_ thing to do in this situation, that the sound of covers thrashing and a low moan from the adjacent room slams both her train of thought and the south-bound movement of her fingers to a screeching halt.

_No fucking way… is Kate actually…!?_

Before she’s even aware of what she’s doing, Victoria is on her feet and tiptoeing over to the slightly ajar door that separates her room from Kate’s. Her heart pounds in her throat as she listens for that sound again.

“ _Mmnm…_ ” the quiet voice from the other side caresses Victoria’s ears, causing the hair on the back of her neck to nearly stand on end. She gently rests her fingers on the doorknob.

_Wait… what the hell am I doing…?_

She wasn’t _seriously_ considering molesting a sleeping Kate earlier. Thinking about it was delightful, sure, but it was all part of her pre-game ‘helping herself out’ ritual. But if Kate’s in there flicking the bean right now, just as Victoria was preparing to do the same thing… was that not a sign that she should go in and offer some assistance? More importantly, can she stop herself right now even if she tried?

_Do… do I just stroll on in there like it’s NBD, and say ‘Hey, Katie… need a hand?’ Or do I crawl into bed with my game-face on and get down to business?_

_“Nnn… n-no…!”_

But Kate’s pleading voice accompanied by another bout of light thrashing makes Victoria’s stomach clench, sudden worry dousing her arousal like a firehose at full blast.

Lightly knocking on the door, Victoria hesitantly calls out “… Kate? Is everything okay?”

“ _nonono…_ ”

In a flash Victoria is through the door and next to Kate’s bed, looking down on the girl’s sleeping face that is anything but peaceful. Moonlight peers through the window to illuminate Kate’s pale cheeks, and even without her contacts in Victoria can see the way her eyes roll about behind her closed lids, her mouth stretched into a pained grimace. Her left hand, peeking out from underneath the blanket as it rests by her head near the pillow, clenches and unclenches sporadically while the girl’s feet jerk beneath the covers.

All thoughts of propriety vanish from her mind as Victoria crawls into bed beside Kate and gently shakes the whimpering girl’s shoulder. “Kate… Katie…? Wake up… you’re having a nightmare…”

After another, slightly harder shake, Kate’s eyes shoot open as she gasps for breath. The girl’s pupils are wide with fright and the struggle to focus in the dim light. “Victoria…?” she pleads, her voice quivering with emotion. Then she’s pulling her into a crushing hug, moaning with relief while she clings to Victoria like a drowning man to a life preserver.

“ _Victoria!_ ” she cries, “ _Victoria_ , oh thank God…”

“Shh…” Victoria soothes, reaching up to stroke the hair at the back of Kate’s head. “I’m right here…”

Kate somehow manages to pull her even tighter, sniffling and rubbing her tear-soaked cheek into Victoria’s neck. “I thought…” she wails, “After last night, I hoped I wouldn’t…”

Victoria pulls back enough to look into Kate’s eyes, brushing the girl’s tangled, damp hair out of her face with soft fingertips. “I’m okay… _we’re okay_. It was just a bad dream…”

Kate’s face crumples into a pained, miserable mask. Burying her head into Victoria’s chest, she begins to sob. “I used to pray for them, but now…? I hate them so much. I don’t want to _feel_ like this anymore…”

Victoria’s own tears well up as she buries her face into Kate’s hair. She does her best to blink them away while staring at the far wall, unable to stop herself from wondering how badly she fucked up by bringing her here instead of someplace she could be getting treatment for quite literally being ready to commit suicide less than twenty-four hours ago. She’d convinced herself that keeping Kate close to her would keep the girl safe, but was that true? Or was she simply enabling her own selfish desires?

“Tell me how to help,” she murmurs, her lips brushing against the girl’s hair. “Do… do you want me to take you somewhere…?”

Kate’s back quakes from the force of her silent sobbing for several minutes before she begins to calm, tightly clutching a handful of Victoria’s silk top all the while. It would be several more minutes before she finally answers, her voice quiet, and creaking, and _oh so_ fragile.

“Would… you stay in here with me? Last night, when we were together… for the first time in a long time I didn’t dream at all. I wanted to ask before, but I was afraid you’d think it was weird…”

“It’s super weird. Like, _the weirdest_.” Victoria giggles playfully at the feel of Kate tensing up in her arms. “But… I’d like to see you try and stop me. Now scooch a bit so I can get under the covers, weirdo.”

Kate holds up the covers for Victoria to snuggle in, her wet eyes shining with gratitude. The short-haired blonde reaches out to caress Kate’s side over the thin fabric of her nightgown, from her ribs down to her hip and back up again in slow, smooth strokes. Victoria just watches Kate, ready with a tender smile whenever those beautiful hazel eyes look up in her direction before fluttering closed again.

“I love it when you look at me…” the girl sleepily murmurs. “Your eyes feel so _warm_ …” After a time, the girl’s satisfied sighs in response to Victoria’s touch fade into soft, measured breathing, her face slackening in peaceful slumber.

Victoria just lies there staring at the sleeping girl for a long, long while, soaking in the warmth radiating from Kate’s body. And while the comfort she feels at being so close to this mystifying young woman threatens to pull Victoria along into sleep of her own, that slumber is thwarted for a time by the lump that slowly begins to rise in her throat. It’s a lump of words unsaid, both because she doesn’t dare disturb Kate’s much needed, hopefully dreamless rest… and because her raw, fragile heart knows that saying them makes them _real_ , and it’s the real things that can hurt her the most of all.

_I feel like you’re supposed to hate me… but I’m so glad you don’t._

_I’ll do anything, **be** anything you want. Just… please be okay._

Victoria’s emerald eyes water as she silently mouths the words she can’t bring herself to voice.

_I think… I think I’m falling for you, Katie…_

She finds herself slowly moving forward, as though her face is being drawn in by the magnetic pull of those full, slightly parted lips.

_… and that **scares** me. And I know it’s **crazy** , but…_

Her eyes dart up from Kate’s lips to her eyelids. If Kate woke up right now, would Victoria pull back? Play it off like nothing happened? Or would she go for it?

_… only fools rush in, right?_

A tear slips from Victoria’s tightly closed eyes as she plants the softest of kisses on the girl’s cheek, allowing her pursed lips to caress only the barest corner of the girl’s mouth when she finally pulls away. Kate’s red lips twitch as though they are attempting to purse as well, but otherwise she doesn’t stir. And when Victoria nestles her head back into her pillow, she perhaps chooses a spot as close as possible without taking over Kate’s own.

“Sweet dreams, Katie…”

When Victoria herself at last drifts off to sleep, it’s to thoughts of slow dancing, and delicate fingers interlaced with her own. Hazel eyes and sweet smiles.

… and kissing. Lots and _lots_ of kissing.

*****

Smiling hazel eyes are the first things Victoria sees the following morning, eyes that glimmer delightedly while roving about as though trying to drink in every detail of Victoria’s face all at once. The bright morning sunlight shining in through the windows over Victoria’s shoulder beautifully highlights the girl’s pale white cheeks, and the cheeky little grin that has settled on those enchanting red lips.

Victoria has always found it hard not to smile in kind whenever she catches Kate smiling at her. “Morning, creeper…” she croaks sleepily.

Kates grin widens as the hand resting near her face idly toys with a lock of dirty blonde hair. “Morning…”

The shorter-haired blonde closes her eyes momentarily to stretch, her back and neck giving that oh-so satisfying series of morning crackles. Plopping her head back down onto the pillow as though that action expended all the energy she had for the day, Victoria smirks sardonically at the still grinning girl before her. “Well? You gonna tell me why you find my face so amusing, or you just planning to keep me in suspense all morning?”

The girl giggles before shrugging her right shoulder upward. “You’re just really adorable when you’re sleepy, is all.” Her eyes twinkle mischievously as she adds “Has… anyone ever told you that you snore?”

“The _hell_ you say!” Victoria scoffs, turning her face up to the ceiling so as not to blast Kate with her morning breath. “I do _not_.”

“You do too!” Kate teases, rubbing her cheek against her pillow by nodding. “Not loud or anything. It’s very dainty and cute, like a little honking sound.”

Victoria pulls the sheet up over her face to hide her blush. “You’re a damn, dirty _liar_ ,” she whines. “ _Victoria Chase_ does not snore and she for damn sure doesn’t _honk_!”

She feels Kate’s hand laying over her exposed fingers, the girl’s thumb giving them a gentle rub. “Thank you… for staying with me last night.”

Deciding it’s worth revealing the pink in her cheeks to throw a smirk Kate’s way, Victoria lowers the sheet once more. “You act like it’s such a burden for me to have to cuddle up to a cute girl all night… did you sleep alright? No more bad dreams?”

Kate nods again, before her cheeks begin to flush as well. “I… did have one dream, but it wasn’t a bad one. I dreamt that someone kissed me, right…” she reaches out to touch Victoria’s cheek with her index finger, right at the corner of her mouth. “… here.”

Feeling her face heat up even more, especially the spot underneath Kate’s fingertip, Victoria puts on her best innocent expression. “Hmm… sounds like a pretty good dream if you ask me.”

“It was very nice…” Kate admits. Her eyes remain fixated on Victoria’s mouth as that soft fingertip idly traces the edge of her bottom lip. “… though, I wanted so badly to turn just a couple inches, make it a _real_ kiss. But, no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t move… it was kind of tortuous to be honest. You… wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

When Kate’s gaze darts back up to meet hers, it’s no longer soft, or mischievous. It’s piercing… _accusatory_ even. _You’ve been a **bad girl** , Miss Chase. Now, confess so that you may receive the appropriate punishment._ Victoria squirms under the heat of that glare, the feel of her continued touch.

_But… two can play at that game, mon petit lapin._

“You know, that doesn’t ring a bell,” Victoria coos, grabbing Kate’s hand to guide her outstretched finger upward as she speaks. And if that movement just so happens to have caused that fingertip to brush across her lips as they purse to form the ‘ri‘-sound, well… she can’t be blamed for the other girl’s carelessness in placing her digits in such dangerous territory, now can she? When Kate involuntarily sucks a quick breath through her teeth at the brief contact, Victoria allows some of that hungry, primal beast to show in her own eyes. She continues to move the girl’s finger past her nose, then her brow, ultimately causing it to light right in the center of her forehead. “But now that you mention it, _I_ seem to remember having a dream about someone kissing _me_ right… here.”

_Stalemate_. Kate’s expression is somewhere between a wry smirk and a disappointed pout at being unable to corner Victoria into admitting her sins. “Wow… that is quite a coincidence. Too much pizza before bed, I guess?”

“If that’s the case I need to eat pizza more often,” Victoria says with a grin, before lowering the girl’s hand back to the bed between them. Interlacing her fingers between Kate’s, Victoria considers her next words carefully. She doesn’t want to ruin the moment, but the memory of that broken, defeated look in Kate’s eyes after she’d been awakened, the way she sobbed in Victoria’s arms flashes through her mind… and it scares the _hell_ out of her.

“… Do you want to talk about the other dream? Was it about the roof again?”

The shift in Kate’s face and body language is dramatic, and immediate. Victoria can spot some of the echoes of last night’s fear in those hazel eyes before they glance down to their interwoven hands.

“… this one was different,” Kate sighs after a long, uncomfortable silence. “It was dark, and I was in some kind of maze… and I couldn’t find you no matter how hard I ran, or how much I called for you. And… I think there may have been a bus, or something? It’s always hard to remember the details after…”

Victoria takes a moment to mull this over. “So, it was kinda like the other night after the party? You found me at the bus-stop, Kate. You _saved_ me.”

“Maybe…” Kate says, alternating between tightening and releasing her grip on Victoria’s hand. “But I could hear you screaming, like _‘No, Nate please!’_ And it felt so _real_ … I was so scared he was hurting you…”

It’s Victoria’s turn to fall silent, rubbing at Kate’s thumb with her own. The fact that Kate feels so protective of her makes her heart flutter, but the way it seems to manifest in the girl recklessly disregarding her own well-being is like a weight on her chest at the same time. Victoria knows she can just barely keep her own shit together on the best of days. The thought that Kate was quite willing to jump off a building just on the _chance_ that it would help her makes her feel like she’s juggling lit torches over a bed of gunpowder.

“Katie… have you ever talked to anyone else about how these dreams make you feel? Like… to a doctor or whatever?”

_That_ seemed to strike a nerve, if the way Kate’s downturned eyes widen or the firm clench of her jaw is anything to go by. The girl rolls onto her back in a motion that would threaten to pull their hands apart if Victoria didn’t steadfastly refuse to let go. She can see Kate’s eyes shimmer with unshed tears as she stares up at the ceiling.

“Yeah… a few years ago,” Kate says absently.

“… and I take it that didn’t go well?” Victoria gently prods with another squeeze of her hand.

Kate reaches up with her free hand to brush at the tear that pools just beneath her eyelid while giving her a sardonic chuckle. “That’s putting it mildly. Victoria, I’m sorry but… I really don’t want to talk about it.”

Victoria pulls hard enough to draw Kate’s eyes back to hers, then leans forward to graze the girl’s knuckles with her lips. “Look… I get it ok? You’re not the only one in this room to have a run-in or two with the guys in white coats. And I won’t pressure you or anything, but can you promise you _will_ talk to me about it when you’re ready?” She doesn’t try to hide the creaking in her voice as she continues. “It’s just… with everything that’s been going on I’m feeling really scared, and I need to know that you’re _safe_ , Katie…”

Several emotions seem to be competing on Kate’s face as she turns to face Victoria again. The bridge of her nose reddening at the feel of Victoria’s lips on her knuckles. The guarded look her eyes had taken softening with understanding. Her own lips forming a silent “o” of realization. Finally, she wiggles her shoulders and hips to scoot in closer, leaving only enough room for the interlocked hands between them.

“I understand… I’m scared too. And I want to tell you everything, but some of it is just hard for me to put into words. I’ll get there, though, I promise… I just need a little time.” This close, it’s hard for Victoria to imagine that anything exists save for those wide, shimmering eyes that so easily captivate her. They practically shine with affection as Kate continues.

“But Victoria, I need you to know that being here with you, like this? To finally get the chance to feel like a normal girl, spending time with someone I…”

Victoria’s heart hammers in her chest, a strange mix of anticipation and anxiety bubbling up in her mind at the thought of what Kate might be about to say. She at once wants to melt before her, to lean in and silence those lips with a kiss, and to run away with her fingers in her ears. Did Kate see the sudden fear in Victoria’s eyes just now? Is that why she hesitated?

“… have feelings for?” Kate continues, her voice soft and soothing as her breath tickles Victoria’s nose. “I can honestly say I’ve never felt safer in my whole life.”

Victoria nods quietly, sliding her face forward at an angle to press her forehead to Kate’s as the girl leans in to reciprocate. Victoria closes her eyes, both in an effort to immerse herself in this moment of quiet, shared intimacy, and to hide her own conflicted emotions. The reassurance that Kate feels safe dampened by the nagging worry that she’s doing the wrong thing. Relief that Kate didn’t say what Victoria feared tinged with irrational disappointment all the same. Finally, after taking a few beats to get herself back under control, Victoria pulls away enough to give Kate a wry smile.

“So, what’s this ‘normal girl’ got planned for today? Not that I’m opposed to laying in bed all day, mind you.”

Kate purses her lips in thought, before giving Victoria a smile to match her own. “Well… I’m up for anything, of course. But…” she reaches up to toy with the collar of Victoria’s pajama top, hooking it with one finger. “I have been wondering how you plan to take responsibility for yesterday…”

“R-responsibility?” Victoria stutters. She’d be lying if she said that her body didn’t _instantly_ react, both to the teasing tone of the girl’s voice and to the way the movement of that finger reminded her of last night’s dream.

“Mmhmm…” she says, keeping her eyes bashfully downcast. “You did something yesterday that I haven’t been able to get off my mind. And now all I can think about is: _‘When will I get more?’_ ”

_Fuuuuuuck_. Victoria squeezes her legs tightly together, trying her best not to visibly squirm under the covers. Seriously, if _Kate fucking Marsh_ is this good at turning Victoria on, how in God’s name has she managed to have never even been _kissed_ before a couple of nights ago? At this very moment, Victoria knows that she will do absolutely _anything_ Kate asks of her. She’s in the palm of Kate’s hand (perhaps literally…?) and Victoria _likes_ it. But Kate just cuts those hazel eyes back up to hers, looking just as innocent as if they were talking about what to order for room service or something.

“You’ll, uh…” Victoria pauses to lick her suddenly dry lips. “… have to be a little more specific, Katie…”

Kate uses her free arm to push herself up into a half sitting, half-leaning position, using her temporary height advantage to loom over Victoria in an almost predatory fashion. Some of her long, dirty blonde locks spill over her shoulder to tickle Victoria’s cheek as the girl coos seductively.

“You _know_ what I want, Victoria…” Kate bites her lip in that way that just absolutely drives Victoria _crazy_. “For you to take things to the next level…”

Victoria can’t move, can barely _breathe_ , so transfixed is she by Kate looking down at her with those _hungry_ fucking eyes.

“… in my _anime education_ , of course.” Kate finishes, her eyes twinkling mischievously once again.

Victoria blinks, then blinks again. For the second time in as many days, she finds herself stunned into silence. _Did… did this bitch really just…?_

“Unless…” Kate murmurs with a coquettish eyelash flutter. “You wanted to do something else…?”

Victoria finally snickers, covering her mouth and turning away right before it becomes a full-blown cackle. It took her a while to catch on to what Kate was doing, but _now_ she gets it. Victoria told her she wanted to take things slow, but still couldn’t help but torment the “innocent virgin” Katie by shamelessly flirting every chance she got. So, what did Kate do?

She found a way to walk the tightrope of putting Victoria in her place by teasing her right back… while still giving her the space to move forward at whatever pace Victoria is comfortable with. She instantly adapted to the challenge of being stuck in close quarters with someone with Victoria’s unique blend of hesitant fragility and desperate horniness by turning into a _game_. And Victoria _loves_ playing games. She _lives_ for it.

But of course, Katie knows that too. _God damn_ this girl is good.

“Nope…” Victoria finally manages, clucking her tongue behind her teeth in amusement. “Watching anime was exactly what I was thinking, too.”

“Is that so?” Kate smirks.

Victoria gives Kate her best ‘come-hither’ bedroom eyes. “Oh yeah, I think about… _watching anime_ with you all the time. On the couch… right here on the bed… in the shower…”

Though Kate’s face and neck turn a bright shade of red at that, she still manages to deftly parry and riposte Victoria’s counter-attack. “Well, those all sound good to me. I’ll leave it to you to choose the, umm, _venue_ …”

“ _Fiiiiiiine_ …” Victoria mock-sighs, tossing the covers off of them so that she can slide to the edge of the bed. It’s obvious Kate isn’t planning to crack any time soon, and she herself is having _too much fun_ to let this go just yet. As she rises to her feet, she calls over her shoulder “What are you in the mood for today? Spirited Away? Perhaps some naughty tentacles?”

“N… naughty _WHATs_?” Kate stammers, wide-eyed.

Victoria tilts her head as though thinking it over. “Hmm, that might be a bit too… _advanced_ for you right now.” Not that she brought any of her hentai collection with her on this trip anyway, but if Kate plays her cards right when they get back to Blackwell, who knows? “Oooh, how about Neon Genesis Evangelion? It’s a series that has a bunch of religious references, and angels and shit. Might be right up your alley…”

Kate’s face brightens with child-like wonder. “ _Angels_ , really? I didn’t know they made anime like that!”

Trying her level best to hide her devious grin while nodding, Victoria hums affirmatively. “Yup! Hold tight and I’ll grab the first DVD.”

She quietly chuckles to herself while strolling into the guest room, both in anticipation of Kate’s reaction to the “Angels” she’s referring to being gigantic, genocidal monsters and at what seems like the start of a really fucking _good_ day. She contemplates just how many episodes Kate will last before Victoria manages to break her, drive her so crazy that she can’t help but pounce on her and have her way… right now, she’s giving Kate two, maybe three at the _most_.

As she digs around in her suitcase, however, a nearby chirp serves as a reminder that she’d left her phone on the nightstand in here overnight. Curiously unlocking the device, Victoria’s heart nearly stops beating in her chest when she sees the notification for a recently received email.

**From** : Tillamook County Urgent Care

 **Subject** : Test Results

She feels like she’s on autopilot as she clicks to open the message… and that’s about the time her _really_ good day comes to a _fucking_ _screeching halt_.

*****

To say Victoria blacked out in the following minutes isn’t quite accurate. It was more… shades of grey.

She can remember her vision tunneling as she read the email. She didn’t even need to see the name of the drug in question, just the words “Positive for trace amounts of” was enough for her to hurl her phone away as though it was a snake in her hands waiting to strike. Or, to be more accurate, one that had _already struck_.

She is vaguely aware of the sound of her own voice screaming in fury and devastation as her other senses began to fade, leaving her adrift in a sea of boiling rage. Alone with only the thoughts of Nathan’s betrayal playing over and over again in her mind.

Nathan _drugged_ her. Of course, she had already expected as much. Given the circumstances of what went down after the party, it had even seemed like the most likely explanation. Victoria had convinced herself that she was prepared for this outcome.

But… obviously there must have been some part of her, however small, that clung to hope. Hope that there was some explanation for what happened that night other than her best and closest friend since middle school dosing her drink in an effort to fucking _kidnap_ her. She believed every word of Kate’s eyewitness account, of course, but it left holes… she didn’t see him mess with her drink, for one. That left the tiniest chance that perhaps Victoria _did_ drink herself to the point of passing out, with the events that followed being brought on by another of Nate’s infamous freak-outs. The boy was less than stable at the best of times, after all, and he had only gotten worse since the school term started.

Now, however, it was right there in front of her in black and fucking white. She had been drugged, and the only plausible suspect with access to her drinks that night was Nate himself. He drugged her, he tried to take her somewhere against her will. And if Kate hadn’t intervened, she could have been hurt, or raped, or _worse_. Victoria would have never in a million years believed he would have been capable of doing any of those things to her, but it was obvious now that she never really knew him at all.

“…tor.a…?…’re safe…I’m..igh….re…” a soft voice — _Kate’s voice_ — whispers into her ear, heralding the slow return of her senses.

Victoria finds herself sitting on the edge of the guest room’s bed, wrapped in Kate’s warm embrace, her hands balled into fists as they are held tightly to her stomach by the girl’s firm grip on her wrists. She can feel Kate’s breasts and stomach pressed up against her back, her hips clamped tightly by the kneeling girl’s thighs. Her left temple hurts — had she scratched herself, or pulled at her hair? — and she can taste a mixture of salty tears and coppery blood that corresponds to a pain in her left cheek where she’d apparently bitten down hard. The room around her is shockingly well preserved, likely due to Kate’s intervention… after something like that, Victoria’s honestly surprised she didn’t chuck the nearby flat-screen TV through the top floor window. The fervent hope that she didn’t _hurt_ Kate in the process of being calmed down serves as her primary motivation for desperately trying to get a grip on herself.

“ _Shh… shh…_ ” Kate soothes in response to the strangled keen that even now attempts to escape Victoria’s mouth. The girl’s cheek and chin are nuzzled into her shoulder, her neck dampened by Kate’s own tears.

“He _did it_ …” Victoria finally seethes through clenched teeth. “He fucking _drugged_ me…”

“ _I’m so sorry_ , Victoria…” Kate murmurs, her arms squeezing even tighter. Her slender frame obviously belies her strength, as Victoria doesn’t think she could escape the girl’s grip right now even if she wanted to.

“I just don’t _understand_ … if it was sex he wanted he _knows_ I would have done that for him… I would have done almost _anything_ for him…”

Kate seems to mull that over for a good while before responding as gently as she can. “… don’t they say that sexual assault is about power? Has Nathan felt powerless lately that you know of?”

That forces a rueful laugh to erupt from Victoria’s hollowed-out chest. “Only every fucking day of his life. His dad’s a fucking monster, and his mom doesn’t do shit about it. His sister flew halfway across the world to get away from the Prescott Family Shitshow, and Nate couldn’t blame her for it even though it meant leaving him alone to deal with their parents. He never talked about what they did to his sister, but based solely on how he’s been treated… I can’t blame her either.”

She fights through the hiccups of another sob that strains at her throat. “He didn’t have anybody to help him, no matter how bad he acted out. Wells was too scared to go against the family that paid for our goddamn dorms, and I can’t tell you how many DUIs and assaults the cops brushed aside because Daddy Prescott’s wallet was so far up their asses. Even… even _me_ … I saw so many red flags, so many obvious fucking warning signs, and I turned a blind eye every time. Some fucking _best friend_ I was…”

Kate drags her chin across Victoria’s shoulder as she emphatically shakes her head. “You couldn’t have known he was this far gone, Victoria. You were the best friend you knew how to be at the time… believe me, everyone at Blackwell could see how much you genuinely cared about him. You can’t hold yourself responsible for the choices he’s made… and especially not for something he tried to do to _you_.”

Victoria’s chin quivers. She wants to argue against Kate’s logic but she just doesn’t have the energy for it. Instead, she asks “Why… why are you always so good to me, Katie?”

Kate squeezes her even tighter, turning her face so that her lips tickle the hairs on Victoria’s neck when she responds.

“Because… you’re the kind of girl who would offer to purchase my virginity to stop me from being sexually harassed.” She giggles at the sound of the surprised, unrestrained laugh that earns from Victoria, before pressing on. “And… you’re the kind of girl who would run up the stairs with broken glass in your foot just to help me… _and then_ dance on that same foot just to make me smile.”

Victoria is having a hard time blinking back her tears as Kate continues. “And for a thousand other reasons, but mostly? You _need_ someone to be good to you because you have a hard time being good to _yourself_. And if I can be that person, even if just for today… I truly feel blessed to do so.”

Victoria allows the warmth and kindness Kate is offering to wash over her, taking a moment to focus on slowing her breathing. Stopping her leg from jangling, her chin from quivering. Willing blind fury to give way to icy resolve.

“What will you do now?” Kate asks.

“…I’m gonna nail him to the fucking _wall_.”

Kate nods solemnly. “Tell me how I can help.”

Victoria contemplates the question. “I need my phone, and his phone and laptop from my suitcase. And… and if you wouldn’t mind staying with me…?”

“Of course.” Victoria can feel Kate’s sweet little smile against her skin. “Are you… safe for me to let go for a moment?”

Victoria snorts, and with Kate’s permission holds up her hand to show that it’s only barely shaking. “I’m good, but…”

“But…?” Kate murmurs, giving Victoria another tight squeeze.

Victoria closes her eyes, leaning her weight back into Kate’s embrace.

“… Maybe just a few more minutes.”

*****

Victoria sighs through her nose in irritation as she stares at the lock screen she was presented upon opening up Nathan’s laptop. While she’s impressed that he actually took her lecture on securing his devices to heart after rumors started spreading that an unidentified student was sneaking into people’s rooms to snoop through their social media accounts, it couldn’t have come at a worse time.

She feels a comforting hand brush the small of her back. Since Victoria’s rage-induced fit earlier, Kate has remained at her side, always touching her in some small way that keeps her centered without being distracting. For now, the girl silently watches Victoria work, providing much needed moral support while waiting patiently for her next opportunity to assist in some way. Victoria flashes her a grateful smile before returning to the task at hand with renewed focus.

Fortunately for her Nathan apparently didn’t pay as much attention to the part about _password_ security, as evidenced by her ability to guess it right on the second try. _‘PRE$COTT$ RUL3!’, really Nate?_

Her first order of business is to pull up the Find My Phone app she installed for him when he lost it a couple weeks back, in an effort to forestall him assaulting whatever random person he would eventually accuse of stealing it. It ended up being in the bottom of his closet, of course, still in the pocket of the pants he wore the day before. Victoria figures this is her best chance of finding out where Nate is _right now_. Unfortunately, fate doesn’t seem inclined to make it quite so easy for her this time, as when she selects his phone and clicks “Locate”, an error message pops up stating “Your device is no longer locatable”.

“What does that mean?” Kate asks, squinting at the screen in confusion.

“I don’t know…” Victoria mutters. “Maybe he fucked with it somehow, in case the cops or someone else tried to track him down with it?”

Kate screws her lips together in thought. “I could ask Warren if he knows about anything we can do. He’s really smart with all that tech stuff.”

Victoria shrugs. “Go for it. Shit, if _Warren Graham_ , of all people, ends up being the one to help us take Nate down I might just let him and Stella in the Vortex Club after all.”

That earns a hearty belly laugh from the girl sitting next to her. “Now _that_ I’d like to see. Can I be there when you break the news to Courtney?”

“Oh, trust me, I might need your Christ-fu just to make it out of that meeting _alive_.”

Kate rolls her eyes, grinning as she taps out a message to Warren. Victoria fiddles around trying to figure something out on her own, but quickly realizes that she’s out of her depth on this one. Clicking the “Locate” button twenty more times in rapid succession out of frustration doesn’t provide her any further answers, and checking the “History” tab only reveals that the last known location was Blackwell Academy the night of the party, at what she guesses would have been around or right after the time of her attempted abduction.

“He says that Nathan probably just turned the phone off, or removed the SIM card,” Kate finally says. “Apparently we wouldn’t be able to use the app unless he turns it back on.”

“So, we’re shit out of luck, then?”

“Maybe not…” the girl absently responds as she reads the latest incoming message. “He thinks he can send us a script that would check it every couple of minutes, and send an alert to your phone in case it does get turned on.”

“That’s… actually pretty badass,” Victoria admits with an approving nod. “Yeah, let’s do it. Oh… and tell him ‘Victoria says: Thanks, Warren G. ;>’.

“ _Awwww_ … I think you made his day.” Kate turns her phone to show Victoria the ‘ヽ(^o^)丿’ emoticon Warren sent in response, to which she can only smirk in amusement.

“Ok, NOW tell him I said ‘but that doesn’t mean we’re friends are anything!’.

Kate levels her a discerning look. “You know… I don’t think that’s true at all. I’ve seen the look on your face whenever him and Stella get all lovey-dovey nearby. Makes me think Queen Victoria might be going soft…”

“Whatever, bitch.” Victoria says with a wink, shaking her head as she turns her attention back to the laptop. “Nobody asked for your opinion!”

She spends the next half-hour or so combing through Nathan’s emails without finding much in the way of things she didn’t already know, such as the one from Principal Wells kissing Nate’s ass after he threw a chair at Mrs. Hoida’s head in front of an entire classroom full of witnesses. It’s no wonder she hasn’t been back to school, since that incident proved exactly how little support the faculty would get when it came to Blackwell’s bottom line. And you can bet your ass that Victoria now feels like shit-heel of the year for coaching him on what to say to try and get out of it.

Though she wants to believe what Kate says about not being responsible for Nate’s actions, she can’t help but feel that she set up a lot of these dominoes and maybe even gave them little pushes here and there… unaware that they would ultimately topple on herself, of course.

There were a couple of messages from his family that may as well have been night and day in tone. A dismissive note from his father commanding him to “stick to his meds” and keep things together while his parents deal with buying up the town, along with an ominous sounding reference to Arcadia Bay “getting an enema” soon. By contrast, the email from Nate’s sister clearly demonstrated her concern and empathy for his situation, essentially reminding him that he only had to make it through the rest of this year before he could get out from under Sean Prescott’s thumb and become his own person. While there was no evidence from his sent folder that Nate had reached out to her recently, there were several unsent draft emails that he’d apparently started and abandoned after a few words going back to the beginning of the year.

The one that struck Victoria as the most unusual was a sternly worded message from Mr. Jefferson expressing his disappointment with Nate for missing the deadline for the Chiaroscuro project last Friday, and warning him that no further extensions would be given if he didn’t hand it in this week. What was strange about this was that Jefferson was infamous for being a stickler when it came to meeting deadlines, and wouldn’t hesitate to give his students a score of 0 for being even a day late. On top of that, everyone else was expected to hand their work for this particular project three weeks ago… and a project that focused on the interplay of light and shadow was right up Nate’s alley. Victoria couldn’t fathom why Jefferson would be so lenient for him particularly, or why Nate himself would let something like this slide in the only class he actually cared about.

But it’s seeing the email Nate sent to her a couple days back about coordinating their outfits for the End of the World party – and bragging that he was going to score some “serious party favors” – that causes Victoria to slam the laptop closed, overwhelmed by an intense case of the heebie-jeebies. Did the motherfucker actually have the nerve to _taunt_ her over what he was planning to do? But if so… why was he so insistent that she didn’t need to go to the party while she was taking care of Max, and seemingly so freaked out when she _did_ show up? And if she hadn’t made an appearance, would he have gone after someone else? The thought that it could have been Taylor, or Courtney… or hell, even Dana or Juliet being dragged to that truck in her place threatens to bring that white-hot rage boiling right back up to the surface.

Kate rests her head on Victoria’s left shoulder, reaching around to give the right one a gentle squeeze. “Do you need a break?”

Victoria closes her eyes, allowing herself to focus on Kate’s presence while slowly counting backwards from ten. She takes a long, measured breath before shaking her head. “No… but I don’t think I’m getting anywhere with this. Would you be up for taking over while I try to get into the phone?”

Kate nods affirmatively, but the way she chews at her lip shows that she’s dubious about the prospect. As Victoria hands over the device, she adds “Don’t worry, there’s probably nothing on here anyway. I doubt he wrote out a confession or a detailed “how to date-rape my best friend” plan or whatever. Just start going through his file folders and see if you find anything that stands out.”

While Kate gets to work on the laptop, Victoria sets about examining the contents of the baggie she’d found taped to the back of Nathan’s couch: A cheap burner phone like the kind you can pick up at a gas station; the plastic casing to the sim card that came with it; and a piece of paper containing several scrawled three and four digit numbers, along with a few doodles and other unintelligible markings.

She attempts to unlock the phone using the default code of ‘1111’ from the SIM casing, but it turns out even Nate wasn’t quite dumb enough to have left it unchanged. She also has no luck with one of the numbers from the paper. Victoria reviews the remaining numbers for several minutes, trying and failing to associate them with anything she knows about Nathan’s life. Finally, she goes with her gut and ignores the paper, instead trying Nathan’s birthdate: ‘0829’.

_Bingo_. Yet again, Nathan’s poor grasp on proper passcode technique works in her favor.

Kate, her brow furrowed with concentration, interjects “hmm… what about his photos? Do you think these could be important? There’s quite a lot of them…”

“Oh, umm… yeah, you know what?” Victoria digs through her bag and pulls out her digital camera and USB cable. “See if you can copy them over, and I’ll help you sort through them when I’m done with this.”

Turning back to the phone, Victoria finds that there are only two contacts stored. Both listed by phone numbers only, no names. Checking the first revealed only a couple of texts, terse reminders not to call while they were “at work”, and that they were still waiting on Nate to prove that he was an “adult” by impressing them. Going off of the “disappointed father”-ly tone of the messages, her only guess was that the number belonged to Sean Prescott. But why would Nate need to call _him_ from a burner phone?

The second contact was obviously his dealer, probably that skeezy dude always hanging around in his RV, Fred or whatever. Page after page of requests to buy weed, acid, coke, a variety of prescription meds… nothing especially surprising. Nathan could self-medicate like nobody’s business, after all, and he loves being the big dog that could hook up his friends… hell, Victoria herself partook of his “generosity” on numerous occasions.

But one exchange in particular raises her eyebrow.

\-----

Hey I need to score ASAP

More of that special order

– **10/09 11:50am**

What, again? What for?

Nevermind. I don’t want to know.

Two Whales in 15. Don’t flake this time.

– **10/09 11:55am**

\-----

What stood out the most about these texts was that it seemed to be the only time Nate seemed concerned about not naming the specific drug he wanted to purchase. And Ford’s use of the word “again”… could that imply that Nate had already date-raped someone previously, and gotten away with it? Not only that, but the timing… Wednesday, the day before he drugged her. The day that she was going to…

“Victoria…” Kate breathes. “You need to see this.”

The girl turns the laptop to show her a folder seemingly designated for any pictures that have auto-synced from Nate’s camera to the laptop, containing well over a hundred images stretching back to the beginning of the term. When Kate clicks on the first image, Victoria sees herself, Taylor, and Courtney, the three of them posed and flashing middle fingers in front of the Blackwell founder’s statue. It was their first day of class as seniors, and seeing it reminds Victoria of how Nate was wandering around campus showing off his new, top-of-the-line, unbelievably expensive camera to everyone he could find.

The next image is of Dana Ward. Then Stella Hill. Alyssa Anderson. Juliet Watson. On and on, until just about every single girl Victoria knows from Blackwell and a number she doesn’t are represented in photo form. Some posed, others candid. Judging by the date and time stamps, they were all taken from the first week of the year, and none in Nate’s normal bleak, fatalistic style. They were all bright and vibrant, essentially seeming to highlight the better qualities of his subjects.

The photos taken from the second week seemed to tell a similar story. Victoria drinking from the water fountain. Kate carrying a tray of tea and cookies, likely on her way to one of her Abstinence meetings. Max aiming her polaroid camera at a bird. All in a similar style to the first week, the main difference being that nearly half of the girls previously photographed were missing this time. No Courtney, no Alyssa, no Dana, to name just a few.

Another week, another round of pictures. And by now Victoria can feel that familiar sense of dread growing in her stomach. Nearly all of them were candids at this point, giving the appearance that Nate was going out of his way to avoid being seen while taking the shots. Some of them were even on the more risqué side, peeking into the girl’s locker room here. A shot through a girls’ dorm room window there. And yet again, the number of subjects falls by half.

It finally clicks in Victoria’s mind what she’s seeing, what must have triggered the alarm bells in Kate’s mind as well. It was almost like one of those competition shows where contestants are put through round after round of performance, each time thinning the herd until there were just a handful of finalists remaining. Only this wasn’t a contest to see who was going to be America’s Next Top Model or the next winner of The Voice that no one would hear from again after the end of the season. In this one, the 1st place winner gets the grand prize of being stalked, and drugged, and Victoria doesn’t even _want_ to know what else.

Kate’s images show the most drastic progression of any of them. They start off shy and timid at the beginning of the year, slowly growing more hopeful and brazen as time goes on… until they take a hard turn in the week following the locker room incident. The week she had her vision of Victoria’s death. From there on the pictures were… unflattering, to say the least. Her face sunken, her eyes downcast and marred with deep bags. The light of kindness and quiet confidence in her eyes dimmed by fear and anxiety. Maybe, in the end, that’s what disqualified her. Saved her from winning the honor of being Nate’s next target.

By the beginning of this past week, the week of the End of the World, Victoria’s week from Hell, only two candidates remained. Herself… and Max. Both halves of Blackwell’s premiere power-couple. Both Vortex club members, and Nate’s friends. The Queen of Blackwell and the girl who might have been her consort if she hadn’t wandered off in the middle of…

…

_Holy shit_ …

Victoria shoots up to her feet, nearly knocking the laptop out of Kate’s hands in the process. After scrambling to keep a grip on it, the startled girl asks “Vic… Victoria?”

“How did I not think of this before?” Victoria begins pacing around the room, her mind running a mile a minute. She had been so wrapped up in her and Kate’s traumatic and frankly unbelievable circumstances that she didn’t even consider someone else who was in a quite possibly _worse_ position. She didn’t consider the possibility that Nate wasn’t limiting himself to just _one_ victim.

“Think of what?”

Kate’s inquiry goes unheard as Victoria picks up her pace. The pieces are starting to fall into place now. The pictures. The urgent drug purchase on the very day that her entire life began falling apart. Nate’s being almost as freaked out about Max’s sudden disappearance as Victoria was, combined with his insistence on knowing whether she’d be going to the party afterward.

The fact that Victoria isn’t the _only_ one who recently blacked out and had little to no memory of what they did the following day.

…

And just like that, Victoria knows _exactly_ what to do next.

“I need to call Max…” she mutters.

“Oh…?” The slightly uncomfortable tone in Kate’s voice finally draws Victoria’s attention, and she can see the girl quickly avert her eyes when she looks that way. What’s up with her? It’s not like Victoria was going to…

_What? Call my ex literally two days following my break-up, and drunken make-out session with Kate directly after? No reason anyone would be concerned about that…_

Victoria plants herself in front of Kate, putting both hands on her shoulders to get those hazel eyes pointed back in her direction. “Kate I’m not talking about a booty-call here,” she laughs, giving the girl an exultant squeeze. “I’m talking about how Max hopped a bus and allegedly went on to do some uncharacteristic and even _illegal_ things that she now _can’t remember_ , right after _hanging out with Nate_ …”

She can almost hear the wheels turning in Kate’s head before her eyes widen in realization. “ _Ohhhhh_ … do you really think he…?”

Victoria clucks her tongue. “If he did it to me, he could do it to anyone. And at the very least, it sounds an awful lot like _reasonable doubt_ , don’t you think?”

“Mmm… I’ll give you two some privacy, then,” Kate says as she stands. When she begins to move around her on the way to the door, Victoria catches her by the waist with one arm.

“Hey…” she says, staring down at the shorter girl intently. “You know this doesn’t change anything for _us_ , right? The bridge between me and Max is well and thoroughly burnt, and even if it wasn’t… I meant what I said about wanting to see where this goes. There’s honestly nothing I want more right now.”

Kate’s eyes shimmer as she smiles up at her. “I know. I just want you to be able to talk freely, without worrying about it being awkward or anything. But… thanks. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that.” With that, the girl stands up on her tiptoes just long enough to plant a soft kiss on Victoria’s left cheek, the kind that leaves her face feeling like it’s on fire when Kate pulls away and disappears through the door to the suite’s main bedroom.

Victoria takes a few beats to touch her fingers to the spot where the kiss landed just moments ago, closing her eyes to savor the sensation before putting her game-face back on. _This is it_ ; she can feel it in her fucking _bones_. She’s going to keep Kate safe, make sure Nate gets what’s coming to him, and maybe even pull Max’s bacon out of the frying pan… all while enjoying a little bit of “playing house” with Kate after all.

Whoever said “you can’t win ‘em all” obviously never met _Victoria Maribeth Chase_.

She smirks triumphantly as she raises the phone to her ear. _Better go ahead and pucker on up, Caulfield,_ Victoria thinks as she waits for Max to pick up.

_‘Cause you’re **so** gonna want to kiss my ass after this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who might be curious what [Nightmare Katie](https://64.media.tumblr.com/74afd9786c14b37801ef83b8a5b8354e/d7ec25e7753efe6c-86/s2048x3072/4f47ca52ad06633fb8a8ebb55600c751b7a69c05.pnj) might look like before donning the Jeffershit glasses/hairstyle, wonder no more! Artwork by the always amazing Ayra! ([ayra0114 on Instagram](https://instagram.com/ayra0114?igshid=1ku2tuf25qobu).) 
> 
> Sorry about the delay for this chapter, everyone! I've had some IRL issues spring up over the past few weeks that sapped my time and motivation to write. Now that I'm over that hump, I hope to be able to crank out the next chapter much quicker. Thanks so much to everyone who has reached out via comments in the interim, as they have been tremendously helpful in lighting a fire under my butt to get this one done!
> 
> Also, for those of you who may not be aware, I did publish a fun little Chasemarsh one-shot in-between chapters. It's a quick read if you'd like to check it out: [KATESVID.COM](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744962). Let me know if you'd like to see more works like this in the future if so. :>
> 
> Thanks as always for reading, I love you all!
> 
> *****
> 
> Chapter title reference: _[Heavenly](https://youtu.be/A7VjtmmlEQ4)_ by Pale Waves  
> 


	14. Until You Decide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victoria puts a plan in motion. Kate has a plan of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I'm the night-sky... I'm the fire in your eyes_  
>  _And I want you now and for all time_  
>  _I'm the cold heart... I'm the secret that you hide_  
>  _I'll be listening until you decide_  
>   
>  _[Night Sky](https://youtu.be/bSaOnwl4sFQ)_ by CHVRCHES
> 
>   
> 

**Saturday, October 12 th, 2013: Downtown Portland – Riverfront Lodge**

“ _… Hey, Vic._ ”

Two words. That’s all it takes for the triumphant smirk to slip from Victoria’s face, for her mouth to suddenly go dry. Though to be fair, it’s less the words themselves that have this effect on her, and more the _way_ they’re said.

It’s Max’s voice on the other end of the line. The girl Victoria spent weeks pursuing, who she by all rights had expected to be her girlfriend by now. The girl she had been falling in love with, before fate intervened against her like it always seems to do.

But it was the tone of a girl whose entire world had disintegrated around her. Who woke up to find her best friend, the one _she_ was meant to love, dead right in front of her… only to be accused of killing her immediately after. A fact that Victoria had _mercilessly_ rubbed in Max's face in a fit of rage the last time they spoke.

It’s almost funny to think that Victoria’s cruel words, and the slap that followed, had only happened two short days ago. With everything that’s gone down since, it honestly feels like two _months_ at this point. But at the same time, hearing Max’s voice again reminds her that the wound in her own heart is still red, and raw, and oozing. Navigating this conversation might be trickier than she thought.

“Hi, Max… how are you holding up?”

The silence on the other end of the line nonetheless speaks volumes. Victoria knows how easily this can devolve into a fight which would be nothing but counter-productive at this point. She hasn’t forgiven Max for playing with her heart the way she did, she might not ever be able to, but she at the very least can try to be the bigger person for once in her life.

“Okay, yeah that was a stupid fucking question. Look, I really need to talk to you about something, but first… I’m _sorry_. What I said about Chloe… that was _so_ fucked up. She didn’t deserve that.”

“ _No... she didn’t._ ”

Victoria can almost see that same look of anger on Max’s face from the moment following the slap, the moment before Victoria ran from Max’s room and out of her life. The kind of look that was so uncharacteristic for the seemingly unflappable, impenetrable ‘Ice Queen Maxine.’

“ _But…_ ” Max sighs, “ _I’m… sorry too. I shouldn’t have hit you like that. And, I know it doesn’t count for much, but I never meant to hurt you._ ”

Victoria clears the lump that is trying to form in her throat. This… this is actually going a lot better than she thought it would. No shouting, no tears. Neither one of them has cursed the other out and hung up yet. Neither one of their apologies really begin to bridge the lake full of shit between them, but it’s probably the best start to this call that she could have hoped for.

“Are you back home?” she asks, opting for small talk while she rebuilds the nerve to drop the bomb that is the reason for her call.

“ _No… we’re staying at a hotel in Bay City right now. The lawyers are trying to work out a deal to let me stay in Seattle until everything is resolved, but since it’s across state lines… besides, Helena thinks we should stay close until the charges are filed and I have a bail hearing._ ”

“The charges…?”

“ _Yeah. Helena thinks murder is off the table, but… they’re probably going to charge me with manslaughter, Vic._ ”

“No fucking way!” She’s honestly shocked that a charge that serious is even on the table still, with a lawyer as high-profile as Helena Ortiz representing Max. It must be the new DA whatshername trying to win points with the “tough on crime” crowd in her first year on the job. Especially after the scandal of the former DA's daughter running away from home, followed soon thereafter by Mr. Amber being indicted for his involvement with some big time drug dealer.

“ _I’m surprised you didn’t know already. There was an article about… about Chloe in the Gazette today. It didn’t mention my name, but it said a current Blackwell Academy student was being investigated… I figured it would be the talk of the school by now._ ”

_Fuck_. Yeah, even if no one else managed to put two and two together on that one, Courtney absolutely would have talked shit to everyone she can find by now. Yet another thing Victoria will have to apologize for, eventually…

“Oh, no… I mean, I don’t know. We’ve been in Portland since yesterday, so…”

“ _You and the girls?_ ”

Victoria hesitates, inwardly cursing herself for her slip. She considers brushing it off, but quickly decides against it. She had already said she wasn’t going to run from whatever this was between herself and Kate anymore, and if they come out of this weekend as something more than friends, like Victoria is honestly hoping for at this point, everyone else including Max will just have to deal with it.

“No… m-me and Kate…” Victoria stammers, the end result coming out far less confident-sounding than she would have liked.

_Good one, Vic! Way to be out and proud, you honestly did a better job with fucking **Alyssa**._

“ _…_ ”

She waits to see if there’s going to be any kind of response from Max’s end, but when it seems that one isn’t forthcoming she decides to just cut to the chase. “Yeah, so the…”

“ _Kate **Marsh**?_”

“Yeah. Look, this is all tied up in why I was calling, are you…”

“ _Well **that** sure didn’t take long at all._”

The caustic tone from the other end of the line _definitely_ gets Victoria’s hackles up. “… the fuck is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“ _You know **exactly** what I mean. What, did you go straight to her room from mine after we broke up, or did you give it a whole day?_”

Okay, this is not how Victoria wanted things to go, but… _seriously_? Who does this bitch think she even is, having the gall(field) to say something like that after how things went down?

“Umm excuse me, _Maxine_ , but that sounds a whole lot like _none of your **fucking** business_. You broke up with me, remember? You lost the right to have an opinion on who I’m spending time with the minute you told me you were…”

“ _Yeah,_ ” Max snaps, though Victoria can catch a hint of _hurt_ showing through the jealousy and irritation in her voice. “ _I was in love with Chloe, and I kept that from you and that was **wrong**. But Vic, that whole time I wanted it to be you. I thought if I just tried hard enough, eventually…_”

“Eventually my _ass!_ Even if you _did_ come to love me in a month or two or even a year, I’d have always been your second choice and you fucking _know_ it.”

“ _Oh, right, so you’re going to keep pretending you didn’t have a thing for her the entire time we were together? I sat behind you in photography. I saw the way you looked at her._ ”

This catches her off-guard. Max has her dead to rights on that one, but still… “That… that was different. I honestly didn’t know how I was feeling about-“

“ _Fucking **Christ** , she was **stalking** you, Vic…_”

“Look, it’s more complicated than…”

“ _… and even after that, no matter what I did you **still** looked at her like you were just waiting to drop everything and run to her the first chance you got._”

“The _first_ chance? Bitch, I had multiple chances and I ran _away_ from her _every goddamn time_. And you can bet your ass I wish I hadn’t, because maybe my life wouldn’t be so much of a disaster right now!”

“ _Well, you didn’t have to do **me** any favors._”

“Newsflash, not everything is about you! Whatever was or will be between me and Kate doesn’t matter anyway, because the other day on the courtyard I was ready to go all-in with _you_. And don’t you _dare_ try to tell me you were willing to do the same.”

“ _I…_ ”

“I mean, did you even want to kiss me? Or touch me, or even _fuck_ me? Or were you just doing the _bare fucking minimum_ to keep me interested? Jesus Christ, Max, forget loving me… did you even fucking _like_ me? Or was it just my money and family connections you were stringing me along for?”

“ _That is **so** not fair, Victoria._”

“ _Isn’t it_ though? Because from here it looks like you played me like a goddamn _fiddle_. Did you even mean that bullshit you said when you asked me out, or did you hear that Kate invited me to tea and figured you’d swoop in to call first dibs on the Chase meal ticket?”

“ _First, I absolutely meant what I said that day. You’re an amazing photographer. Second, I’m not going to apologize for playing dirty to go after someone I wanted… you taught me that. Setting up Warren…_ ”

“Well forgive me, but if I’d known your one true love was _Warren Graham_ of all people, I wouldn’t have…”

“ _Not the point. You think I’m so dumb that I couldn’t figure out why you hooked him up with **Stella**? We were working on that project together, remember, and you sure as hell made a beeline to the fucking courtyard. How many rolls of film did you use up on Kate and her snuggling at the fountain? Keeping your options open, much?_”

“Th-That’s not… who else was I supposed to hook him up with? It’s not like he had a ton of girls lining up for the chance. Besides, my camera is _digital_ …”

“ _Uhh, hello? Brooke Scott? I’m new here and even **I** know she has a thing for him. Just admit it, you didn’t like the idea that Kate and Stella could be a thing, so you schemed to get the competition out of the way._”

_Oh_. Now all the stink-eyes and catty comments she’s been getting from Scott over the past few weeks make a lot more sense. But who cares, Warren’s better off with Stella anyway. Brooke would have eaten his ass _alive_.

“Fine, you win! Point for Max _fucking_ Caulfield! But sorry to say, me ‘scheming’ after one date doesn’t stack up to being lied to for our entire fucking relationship.”

“ _No? What about putting yourself in between me and Jefferson all the time, or were you just trying to keep him for a back-up too? Or how about inviting me to smoke up before making a move on me, or getting your friends to run interference so you could set up all those perfect ‘impromptu’ moments…_ ”

“That’s called being _romantic_ , asshole!”

“ _Or a manipulative **bitch**._”

“Oh no you didn’t, you hypocritical fucking whore!”

“ _Insecure skank..._ ”

"YOU'RE _GOD DAMN RIGHT_ I'M INSECURE," Victoria shrieks. "Do you know why? Do you even _care_ how many relationships I blew up out of fucking _fear_ , before you? Before I finally let myself get close enough to tell you that I... I..."

" _… Shit. Vic, I..._ "

" _FUCK_ you, Max."

" _... I guess I deserve that_."

Another long silence passes between them, only to be broken by Victoria's throat hitching, her breath escaping her lungs in short, violent bursts. Her head is so fucked up right now that it takes her confirming that her cheeks are dry before she realizes she's not crying, but...

“ _Are… are you laughing at me, right now?!"_ The voice coming through her phone speaker sounds somewhere between annoyed and flabbergasted.

“No…?” She unconvincingly attempts to hide the laughter in her voice, suddenly struck by how fucking _ridiculous_ this entire conversation must sound. Also the accidental alliteration of "hypocritical whore" and "insecure skank" _just_ caught up with her, and _that_ shit gets her every time.

“Sorry... It’s just, for a minute there I couldn’t decide if we were both too toxic to have ever even had a chance, or if we totally deserved each other.”

The line is quiet for long enough to make Victoria double check that the call didn’t get disconnected. But, eventually, she hears Max chuckle.

“ _Yeah… high school sweethearts we were not, I guess._ ”

“Maybe not…” Victoria swallows hard, trying to take this opportunity to push all the drama and bullshit aside for a minute. “And… maybe I’m not who you love, and you’re not who I need, but… that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, still.”

“ _You… you still want that? After everything…?_ ” Max’s voice right now is the tiniest Victoria has ever heard it.

“Duh. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still a total fucking bitch…”

“… Gee, _thanks_ …”

“… but you know all my friends. The bitchier the better, I always say.”

“ _Vic… I know you’re probably sick of hearing it, but I’m **sorry** , okay? For everything, I mean. I really didn’t want to fight when you called, but hearing that you’re having a great weekend shacking up with Kate… I just felt like, in the end you’ve got what you really wanted. And I’ve got **nothing** , because Chloe’s **gone**. All of my friends were yours first, I probably won’t even be able to go to Blackwell anymore because everyone will think I’m a murderer, and I’ll be lucky if I don’t go to fucking prison._”

Victoria blinks back the tears that try to prick at her eyes. She was getting so caught up in being mad at Max that she forgot how terrified she must be right now. She’s not some cold-blooded killer, for Christ’s sake, she’s just a teenager at an art school trying to figure things out like everyone else.

“I… I get it. But Max… I still want to be on your side. That’s not nothing. And Taylor will come around too, I can already tell she misses you. Courtney might be a tougher sell… she did say something about ‘smacking the smug off your busted Taylor Swift-looking ass…’”

“ _… Real nice…_ ”

“Hey, her words not mine! But, as for the rest… I think you’ll be able to come back to Blackwell sooner rather than later. And not as a manslaughterer or whatever. That’s actually why I called in the first place… I’m hoping I can help with the whole prison thing.”

“ _I don’t understand…? You’ve already helped so much with bailing me out and recommending a lawyer. Christ, Vic, I’m so grateful for that…_ ”

“This is… something else. Look, this isn’t going to make a whole lot of sense at first, so bear with me, okay? When we all met up at the tree on Wednesday, you got there before me right? Do you remember who else was there?”

“ _Uh, Hayden and Nate, I guess? T and Court were with you. I don’t remember when Zach and Logan got there._ ”

“And did anyone give you something to eat or drink?”

“ _Maybe? That whole day seems kind of hazy right now. I’m sorry, but what does that have to do with…?_ ”

There’s really no pussy-footing around this, Victoria decides. Time to bite the bullet. “… Nathan drugged me at the End of the World party.”

“ _…_ ”

“You… still there, Max?”

“ _… You’re joking, right? Vic, if this is a prank or something it’s not funny…_ ”

“Trust me, I _wish_ it was. Nate dosed my drink with… with a date-rape drug, and… Max, he tried to drag me out the back door to his truck. If Kate hadn’t been there, I have no idea what would have happened.”

“ _Oh my God…_ ”

“I know, right?”

“ _I’m such a fucking **bitch**. I’m sitting here laying into you like I’m the only person in the world who has problems, and you were going through that the whole time?_”

“I mean it’s not a barrel of laughs or anything but I’d still say you’ve got the gold medal in the Misery Olympics on lock right now.”

“ _… You could have **led** with that, you know?_”

“It’s not an easy subject to broach, okay? I had to build up to it!”

“ _Just saying, it would have saved us a lot of screaming._ ”

“You know I’ve never met a shouting match I didn’t like.”

“ _Drama Queen…_ ” Max chuckles again. It’s… good to hear her laugh, after everything. “ _Vic, I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I don’t see how that’s supposed to help my case._ ”

Victoria takes a deep breath. “Because… I think he might have drugged you too.”

“ _You… wait, **WHAT**?!_”

“Think about it, after he slipped me whatever and Kate took me back to my room, I said and did things I couldn’t remember the next day…”

“ _Holy **SHIT**._”

“Yeah… But Max, there’s more.” Victoria goes over the details of what happened that night, from the threat Nate made when she told him about her break-up with Max, to Kate’s account of the kidnapping itself. The evidence of his drug purchase on the day of her disappearance, and the folder full of creeper shots.

“ _Do you think it’s possible?_ ” Max begins to stutter, obviously having trouble choking out the words. But for the first time since Victoria picked her up from the police station that day, there’s a glimmer of hope in the girl’s voice. “ _That he… that it wasn’t my… I think they took my blood after they arrested me, they didn’t say anything about any drugs…_ ”

“Yeah, but you would have gone a lot longer than me before you were tested. Google says that kind of drug has a short shelf-life. And then you’ve got the timing of everything, the memory loss… And I don’t care what their tests say, when I picked you up the next day you were _totally_ out of it. It just seems like too much of a coincidence, you know? Like it’s the only explanation that makes some semblance of sense.”

“ _But why me… why **us**? We were his friends…_”

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that same question all weekend. Was it a weird jealousy thing because we were dating, or did he just properly lose his mind for real this time? No matter what I come up with, it always feels like something’s missing.”

“ _That… that **motherfucker**._” Max seethes. “ _This whole time I’ve had this **feeling** that something wasn’t right… that I didn’t do what they said, that Chloe’s last moments were **stolen** from me somehow. And whenever I think about it, I get so goddamn **angry**. Like if I could ever get my hands on whoever was responsible, I’d make them **pay**._”

“You’ll have to get in line for _that_ one, girlfriend.” Victoria winces at the word choice as soon as it passes her lips, but Max seemingly lets it slide.

“ _What are you going to do? I’m assuming you haven’t taken all this to the cops yet, since everyone says the Prescotts own—_ ”

“—this poop-hole town, yeah.”

“ _The **fuck** did you just say?_”

“Inside joke… but you’re right. I don’t have any confidence that those assholes would lift a finger against Nate… they’d just sweep it under the rug like they always do for Sean’s baby boy. But that’s where you come in. I got to thinking that if I hand the evidence over to your legal team first…”

“ _… then they’d **have** to address it,_” Max interjects. “ _Because it would come out in court anyway._ ”

“Yep, and worst-case scenario? The cops and the DA decide they like Prescott money so much they make your case go away to keep it quiet. I’d have to figure out some other way to deal with Nate, but at least you’d be off the hook. That sounds like a fair trade to me.”

“ _Vic, you’re a **genius**._”

“Well I’m glad there’s at least _one_ thing we can agree on.”

“ _You are such a dork._ ” Max pauses again, before adding “ _Vic… saying good-bye to Chloe wasn’t the only thing Nate stole from me. Before I blacked out and got on the bus or whatever… I never got the chance to tell you what my answer was going to be. I—_ ”

“Max.” Victoria cuts the girl off, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. “I’m sorry, but… I don’t think that’s something I can hear from you right now. That water just needs to flow on under the bridge, you know?”

More silence from Max’s end of the line. When she finally breaks it, her voice is very quiet. _“… Okay. I understand. Look… I know I fucked everything up. But do you think we can ever be, you know… good again?_ ”

Victoria sucks at her teeth. She wants to just say ‘yes’ to make Max feel better, but after everything that’s gone down between them, Victoria feels like she deserves some honesty. “I… want to be. The stuff you said that day… Max, it _really_ hurt. And I’m not good with letting shit like that go… but I don’t want to be that person anymore. I want to be better.”

Victoria heaves a long sigh. “So, I can’t promise it won’t be awkward for a minute, but… if you’re good with being friends somewhere down the road, I’m sure we can get there.”

“ _Yeah… I’d like that a lot. Right now the only friend I have that wasn’t involved in birthing me is Lisa, so I can’t really afford to be choosy or anything._ ”

“That’s probably a good thing, since we don’t know where Nate is it’s probably best that no one else at school knows where you are, either. Which reminds me, don’t mention that Katie and I are in Portland right now, ok? I’ve been trying to keep that under wraps.”

“ _True… I mean, Mark is—_ ”

“Mark? _Mark_?! Pardon me, but after all the shit you’ve given me for calling him that—”

Max laughs for the third time since the call began, which is starting to make Victoria feel… good. Lighter. Happy that she can do something to help Max, even if things didn’t turn out so well for them in the end.

“ ** _Mr. Jefferson_** _is going to be meeting with my parents and I when he gets back in from San Francisco later today, to go over how the showing went. But aside from him, you’re the only one who knows I’m here._ ”

Victoria doesn’t particularly like the sound of that, for some reason. Pretty much everyone at Blackwell knows Jefferson has a massive boner for Caulfield, and with her feeling so vulnerable right now… but on the other hand, Max’s parents are going to be there, and “Creepy Kate” sex dream and the rumors about him fucking Rachel Amber aside, she has no reason to believe he’d actually go there. Victoria was, herself, evidence to the contrary with as many of her own advances were sternly rebuffed.

“Yeah… I guess that’s fine. Umm, congrats on that by the way. You deserved it.”

“ _Not that I got to enjoy it or anything, but thanks. The lawyers said trying to go would have been construed as an attempt to flee, so…_ ”

“Still. Winning Everyday Heroes is _huge_ … it’ll be a big step for your career.” _Oh, also I may have tried to sabotage that whole deal at the party, but I was drunk and pissed off at the time so I think we can all agree that doesn’t count, right?_

“So… speaking of the lawyers, are you going to let them know that I need to arrange a meeting?”

“ _Definitely. I’m going to fill in Mom and Dad first, if that’s ok, and call them right after._ ”

“Sure.”

“ _Cool… hey, Vic?_ ”

“Yeah?”

“ _What you said, about me being there to give Chloe the perfect last day? I’ve been thinking about that ever since. Sometimes it feels like the only thing that keeps me from going crazy, so… thank you._ ”

“No problem, Max. _Au revoir_ …”

Victoria lays back in the bed, her phone hand resting on her chest as she takes a while to process the conversation. In some ways it went better than she imagined, in others worse. She honestly expected herself to be a weepy mess by this point, but in the end what she mostly feels is a sense of relief… like at least one of the many weights she’s been carrying has finally been lifted off her shoulders. Both the flashes of anger and the first shaky steps toward some future reconciliation were cathartic, and while this isn’t quite what Victoria would call _closure_ … it’s at least a good start.

Her phone rings less than ten minutes later. After taking a deep, steadying breath, Victoria begins walking the attorney from the firm representing Max’s defense through the events of the last few days, as well as Nate’s background and the Prescott’s history with the Arcadia Bay Police Department, in painstaking detail. The conversation ends up taking longer than even Victoria would have expected, given the sheer volume of clarifying questions she has to answer.

In the end they are able to put together a clear path forward… one that will hopefully lead to Max’s exoneration, and justice for herself. And, most importantly to Victoria right now, one that will ensure Kate’s safety as well.

*****

Upon stepping back into the suite’s master bedroom, Victoria is greeted by the sight of Kate seated on the bed with her back rested against a pile of pillows and her legs stretched out in front of her. A stack of schoolbooks is piled up next to her, seemingly going ignored in favor of the sketchpad and pencil in her hands. At the sound of the door opening, Kate looks up and gives Victoria one of those sweet little smiles that she's not sure if she'll ever get used to having aimed her way.

Victoria cocks an eyebrow, nodding at the nearby books. “Getting caught up on homework?”

Kate rolls her eyes and heaves out a heavy sigh, turning her pad to reveal the beginnings of a drawing filled with cute little anthropomorphic animal figures. “I wish. I tried, but… it was hard to concentrate with so much on my mind.”

A slow grin spreads across Victoria’s face. “So much on your mind, like… _biology_ homework, for example?”

“ _Maaaaybe_ ,” Kate smirks, giving her one of those looks that says ‘ _You’re gonna have to try a lot harder than that to get me flustered at this point, Chase_.’

“I figured I could use some one-on-one tutoring for that kind of homework, though.”

“No shit? I might know someone who can help you with that. She offers very competitive rates.”

Kate’s eyes twinkle at that, but then her expression grows more serious. She asks the question that’s been hanging in the air since Victoria walked in. “So… how did it go?”

Victoria sighs, not even sure where to start. The good stuff? The bad stuff? The awkwardness in between? Ultimately, she decides to respond by sweeping Kate’s books onto the floor before turning and falling backward onto the bed, her head landing squarely on Kate’s cotton-covered thighs. Theatrically pressing the back of her wrist to her forehead, Victoria whines “ _Dote on me_ , Katie. Shower me with _all_ the affection.”

“That bad, huh?” Kate giggles at Victoria’s melodramatic display, before eliciting a relieved moan from the short-haired blonde when she begins to scratch at her scalp in slow, gentle circles.

“ _Nnnn_ …” Victoria groans, her eyes closed and her mouth slack with satisfaction. When she’s finally able to form a more coherent response, she murmurs “It wasn’t the worst. I think we worked some things out.” Creaking one eye open to look at Kate askance, she adds “I’m surprised you didn’t hear any of the screaming earlier.”

“Maybe a little…” Kate admits with a small shrug. “I had my headphones on most of the time, though.”

“ _Uggggghhhh_ you are too good for this world, Katie. I so would have had my ear pressed up against the door the whole time if I was in your shoes.”

Kate casts a chagrinned glance at the nearby wall. “I’m not _that_ good… I think I mostly did it because I was afraid of what I might hear.”

“You mean… like me and Max working things out a little _too_ well?”

Kate nods slowly. “I’m sorry… I know it’s wrong to feel that way…”

Victoria reaches up to cup Kate’s chin in her hand. “Don’t be… you’re cute when you’re jealous. Besides… I’m like the jelly-est ho _alive_ , so keep that in mind next time you’re getting all cuddly with those skanks at bible-camp or wherever.”

Though that earns her a sweet smile from the girl in question, it reminds her about what came up in her fight with Max earlier. Clearing her throat, Victoria hesitantly says “Katie…? There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Hmm?” The girl asks, her face contented and adoring while she continues to scratch Victoria’s scalp.

“That day you invited me to tea, when I took your picture? I saw how… close you and Stella seemed to be. And… I didn’t like the way that made me feel. So when it came time to set Warren up with someone…”

Kate tilts her head curiously, and she gives the hand that rests on Victoria’s stomach a gentle squeeze. “You know, I always did wonder why you didn’t try to get him together with Brooke…”

“Shit, was I the only one at Blackwell who _didn’t_ know about that?”

“She only mentions him like every third sentence.” Kate giggles.

“So…” Victoria turns her hand to play with Kate’s fingers. “You’re… not mad, or anything?”

“Why would I be mad?” Kate laughs. “Stella and I are just friends, and she’s not interested in girls that way. Besides… even back then, I only had eyes for you.”

Victoria doesn’t know what to say to that, her fluttering heart as it is taking residence in her throat. So, she beams up at Kate instead.

Taking her hand back to rub her chin, the girl looks away as though deep in thought. “Stella is cute though, now that you mention it. _Really_ cute. She’s got such pretty hair, and nice, sexy lips…”

Victoria’s smile falters. “Oh, I _will_ cut a bitch.”

Her gaze taunting and amused, Kate gives her a cheeky grin. “ _Hmm_? Look who’s cute when she’s jealous now.”

Feeling her cheeks heat up, Victoria snarks “I knew I should have finished the job with the pillow when I had the chance…”

Kate returns her free hand back to Victoria’s while the other toys with her hair. “Not that I’m not enjoying this, but… what’s the plan?”

Victoria heaves out yet another long sigh. Kate seems to be a little too good at steering things back on track, especially when it’s a subject Victoria wants to avoid. “I’ve got a face-to-face meeting scheduled with the law firm representing Max. They’re going to want to go over the testimony again, review the physical evidence we’ve gathered, document our injuries… then we’ll make a determination on when and how it will be best for me to press charges against Nate.”

She squeezes the girl’s hand tightly, making sure she has her full attention for the next part. “Katie… they’re going to want you to testify, both at the deposition and the trial if it comes to that. You’re the only sober person that saw what he tried to do to me. But you need to understand that you _don’t have to_. A trial like this can get ugly, and having a spotlight on you like that…” She trails off as the dirty-blonde shakes her head.

“I’ll do it,” she matter-of-factly states, as though Victoria told her she needed help with the laundry or something.

“You’ve got some time to think it over, though. And you really should. The Prescotts are scary people, Katie.”

“Victoria, _I’ll do it_. You believe this is our best chance, right?” At Victoria’s hesitant nod, she continues “And I believe in _you_. Besides… I’d be much more afraid of what would happen if I didn’t.”

While Kate continues to lazily scratch and massage her scalp, Victoria marvels at how the girl can be so soft and gentle, yet so unflinchingly brave all at once. “Well, hopefully it won’t come to that anyway. If I can track Nate down before we go to the cops, I’m going to confront him. I think if I do, I can get him to confess.”

Kate’s hand stops. “That… sounds too dangerous. I don’t like it…”

Victoria pouts and nudges the girl’s arm until she starts scratching again. “I get that, but Kate I’ve been dealing with him for _years_. I know how to get in his head, and I honestly don’t think he’d have the balls to try something on me while I’m pissed off and sober.”

Kate’s face remains troubled as she contemplates this. “… only if I come with you.”

“The _fuck_ you are! Kate, I don’t think he’d hurt me but I can’t say the same for you. You’ve humiliated him twice now, and I’m not about to give him a chance to get even.”

Leaning over her to better allow Victoria to witness the steely resolve in her eyes, Kate retorts “Victoria, you must be smoking some _drugs_ if you think there’s any chance I would let you go face him alone.”

Simultaneously suppressing the urge to cackle at ‘smoking some drugs’ and the exasperation she’s feeling at the moment, Victoria keeps her voice as neutral as possible. “… we can cross that bridge when we come to it, I suppose.”

It’s obvious there will be no debating Kate out of this, so in the end she’ll either have to acquiesce or find some way to ditch her beforehand. She doesn’t like either of those options, of course, but she’s not above risking Kate’s ire by doing the latter if it’s the only way to keep her out of harm’s way. However, in the end it will only matter if either someone spots Nate and lets her know, or if Graham’s computer wizardry helps her track him down herself. For all she knows he could be halfway to Mexico by now.

Kate looks away again, a tinge of sadness in her voice as she asks “I guess… we’ll need to leave for Arcadia Bay pretty soon, then?”

“You don’t sound too excited about getting back…”

Flushing a bit with embarrassment, Kate admits “I am, it’s just… being here with you makes me feel like I’m living in a fairy tale. I guess I’m just worried that I’ll wake up Monday morning and everything will be back to normal.”

“Katie… I can promise you we won’t go back to the way things were. I don’t think I even _could_ do that, unless… unless that was something _you_ wanted…”

The girl shakes her head sharply, and when she meets Victoria’s gaze once more her eyes are moist with unshed tears. “Never. That’s the last thing I would want.”

Victoria smiles and reaches up to brush aside a wisp of hair that got caught in Kate’s lips. “I’m glad we’re on the same page, then. Besides, I asked for the meeting to be set for tomorrow afternoon, anyway.”

Kate’s lips take that surprised little “o” shape that Victoria has come to adore. “You… you did?”

“Yeah. Well, it would have been difficult for the lawyers to be ready before early morning regardless, and I figured a few extra hours would mean we could spend one more night here without having to rush out…”

Her flush deepening, some of that heat from before returns to Kate’s gaze. “Does… does that mean you have, p-plans…? For tonight, I mean?”

_Hmm, someone’s mind’s in the gutter, isn’t it?_ Victoria merely gives the girl a sly grin. “Well… for one, I was hoping you’d let me take you out on the town. See some more of the sights, have a nice dinner… there’s this fantastic French restaurant on the other side of the river I’m just dying to take you to…”

Kate’s forehead scrunches in consternation, her mouth screwing into one of those sideways pouts of hers. “Victoria… you know I don’t like it when you spend a lot of money on me.”

Victoria pokes her side, forcing Kate to unleash an indignant, ticklish squeal as her hand spasms into a fistful of Victoria’s hair. “Yeah, but you also said we were dating, so…”

“ _Excuse_ me?” Kate protests, giving her hair a light pull. “As I recall, _you_ were the one that said we were dating. _I_ just confirmed it.”

It takes _everything_ Victoria has to ignore the rush of heat that builds between her legs at even a pull that soft. Oh, if Kate only knew…

“ _Be that as it may_ , this is what dating a Chase looks like. _C’moooooon_ , Katie, it’s our last night in Portland. You’ve got to let me wine and dine you just a little…”

Kate glares at her suspiciously before finally relenting. “Well… If you’ll agree to go without the wine, then… it’s a deal.” She punctuates this by holding her free hand out for Victoria to shake.

“Why no wine…?” Victoria asks with a suspicious glare of her own. When Kate just shrugs innocently, she reaches up to grasp her hand. “ _Fiiiiine_ , teetotaler. Now, if we’re going out, I have _got_ to put some work into making myself somewhat presentable.”

Moving to stand, she turns back to the girl and asks “Do you have anything to wear? Any more surprises for me from that wardrobe of yours?”

Kate looks down to her lap, where she’s idly toying with her fingers. “M-maybe a thing or two…”

“ _Oooooh_ , color me intrigued… I’ll leave you to it, then.” With that Victoria absconds to the bathroom, imagining all the things Kate could be wearing by the time she gets out… _and_ how nice it would be to take them off of her, of course.

*****

**Court** – 911! 911 911 911!!!!

VIC GET UR FACE OUT OF KATES COOCH AND HELP MEEEE

**Sweet T** – Beeatch stop being dramatic LMAO

I told u 2 leave the lovebirds alone 😉

**Unknown #** – Hey girls quick ?

<Add Contact: **HotLips** >

**Sweet T** – STELLA <3

**HotLips** – Shouldn’t it be…

“Get UR face out of Kate’s Marsh?”

Get it??? MARSH???

**Court** – EWWW GOD WHY

**HotLips** – Cause it’s such a hot and humid biome???

**Sweet T** – LOL and a bit sticky too? 😉

**Court** – I GET IT OK STFU

**HotLips** – DEFINITELY moist…

**Court** – STAAAAHP

**Sweet T** – OMG STELLA marry meeeeeeee

**HotLips** – Hmm I dunno Taylor…

What would Warren think? :x

**Sweet T** – Forget him!

If he liked it then he shoulda put a ring on it! XD

**Court** – ……………

**Unknown #** – ~_~

I’m right here you know…

<Add Contact: **Graham** >

**Sweet T** – AWWW Warren nooo!

I’m kidding I’m kidding

I would never let NE1 split up my babiez <3 <3

Unless ur angling 2 get that harem kick-started… 😉

**Graham** – (・_・;)

I feel like there is no safe way to respond to that…

**HotLips** – Good answer babe. See?

He IS smarter than he looks! :p

… Ok, seriously?

WTF is even happening right now? **\- Sent**

**Court** – VIC!!! OH THANK GOD

FIRST OFF PLZ TELL ME U WASHED UR HANDS FIRST

DON’T WANT 2 CATCH BABYLEZ SWAMP COOTIES THRU PHONE

Hey you know what? Never mind

Ur all going back on mute. :P **\- Sent**

**Court** – WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

U HAVE YET 2 LEARN THE DEPTHS OF TAYS BETRAYAL

Jesus Christ spit it tf out Court

Trying 2 take a bath here **\- Sent**

**Court** – SHES DRAGGING ME ALNOG W/ HILL & GRAHAM

2 WATCH “MONKEY PLANET” @ THE DRIVE-IN 2NITE

LMAO WHAT

Haha glad u finally found someone

2 give those tickets 2 Graham **\- Sent**

**Graham** – :D

**Court** – 8 HOURS OF PEOPLE DRESSED LIKE MONKEYS VIC

EIGHT. FUCKING. HOURS!!!! PLZ DO SOMETHING

LOLOLOL NOPE

Ur on ur own Bish

Have fuuunnn~~! **\- Sent**

**Court** – UR DEAD 2 ME >:[

**Graham** – Actually there’s not many “monkeys” in the PotA films

Chimpanzees, orangutans, and gorillas mostly. Just saying…

**Court** – FUCK OFF GRAHAMCRACKER NO 1 ASKED U

**Sweet T** – Cmooooon Court it’ll b fun!

Hey Vic is Kate there? 😊

**Kate M.** – Yes I’m here. Hi Taylor😊

Hi everyone hope you are well😊😊

<Change Contact: **Mon Petit Lapin <3**>

**HotLips** – KATY-CAKES XD

**Sweet T** – YAAAAY hi Kate!!! <3

Ignore Court she’s been in a sour mood this decade

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – Hehe sour doesn’t bother me…

I mean look who I’m hanging out with this weekend ^_^

HEY!!! 😐 **\- Sent**

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – 😉

It’s so cool you’re all going to the movies though!:)

**Sweet T** – Inorite!!! Stella & I cooked it up

We r all showing support for Team Katori

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – Team Katori??

**HotLips** – Y’know… like Kate/Victoria?

**Sweet T** – YEP I totally ship u 2. 😉

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – Awe oh my gosh that is too sweet! :'‑)

Oh, KT, no… Don’t encourage her

It’s like feeding a cat, she’ll never leave **\- Sent**

**Sweet T** – SHUP Tori! U will NOT ruin this for me!

**HotLips** – So… Katy-cakes…

Yano I gotta ask……

How did it go last nite?????

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – STELLA!!!!

**Sweet T** – ooooh yes spill dem beans!

We went to that new business on Main St.

What was it called again? Nunya? ;p **\- Sent**

**Sweet T** – booooooo ur no fun…

Throw a girl a bone here!

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – Well… I mean…

We DID sleep together Victoria… ://3

**HotLips** – WAT

YAAAAASSSSSS!!!

GET IT GURRL XD

**Sweet T** – OMG SRSLY?!

KT how could you!? D: D: D:

U promised it would be our secret!!! **\- Sent**

**Court** – FUCK

**Sweet T** – ^^^ LMAO pay up skank!

Waaaaaaait hold up I know u jerks

Did NOT bet on my sex life! **\- Sent**

**Sweet T** – Easiest $5 I ever made 😉

#CANCELLED. BOTH of you!!! **\- Sent**

**HotLips** – SHUT UP you guys!!!

I need details!!! ALL OF THEM

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – Haha Are you suuuuure?:)

I wouldn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable…

**Graham** – Err I gotta go get ready

So I’ll cya all later! And… congrats?!

<< **Graham** has left the chat>>

LOL **\- Sent**

**Sweet T** – Warren nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! XD

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – Awwwe did I scare him off???:(

**Court** – UGH HILL WOULD U POP HIS CHERRY ALREADY

HIS TERMINAL VIRGINITY THING IS PAINFUL TO WATCH

**HotLips** – (＾ｖ＾) Whatevs chica…

I bet I’ll get more action than u 2nite!

**Court** – BITCH I WILL TAKE THAT BET! >;p

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – Now I feel bad…

Esp. since all we did was sleep… :/

**Sweet T** – CRAP MY 5 BUCKS ☹

**Court** – LOLOL EAT IT TAY

**Sweet T** – Mmmm if you insist… (*^3^)/~☆

**Court** – GAAAAAAAAAY

**HotLips** – Srsly tho KT? That’s all?

No touching, no spooning…

Not even a little kiss? 😉

Welllllll…

Maybe sleep isn’t ALL we did **\- Sent**

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNEW it!!! You’ll pay for that missy…

^_^;;

Ok u losers leave us alone

KT & I are going out 2night and

We’re NOT 2 b disturbed! **\- Sent**

**Sweet T** – Ooooo K have a good night~~! Xoxo

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – You too <3

**HotLips** – ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Have fun U 2, be safe…

I slipped some condoms in ur bag KT 😉

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – You did not!

**HotLips** – Left side inner pocket…

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – STELLA

**HotLips** – XD XD XD

**Mon Petit Lapin <3** – Just… WHY??

**Sweet T** – Cuz girrrrlll…

<BOM BOM BOM>

You’ll be a woman… soon! 😉

Omfg BYE **\- Sent**

*****

“So… what do you think?” Kate smiles nervously as she stands before Victoria, decked out in an adorably frilly, cream-colored off-the-shoulder top and navy-blue skirt. Her ensemble is rounded out by a pair of thigh-high stockings that come up juuuust enough to offer a positively _delicious_ glimpse of her pale legs below the skirt’s hem.

Clad only in her fluffy hotel bathrobe, Victoria can do naught but stare dumbfounded at the sight before her. Her voice is brimming with delight when she finally speaks. “Oh my God, who knew you had a fashionista hidden underneath that church-girl exterior all this time?”

“You… you like it then?” Kate asks, her eyes gleaming with timid pride.

“Like it? Katie, I love it. Turn! Turn!” Victoria steps in to get a closer look, admiring the quality of the garments. Her eyes rove over the girl again and again, sure her face looks somewhere between awestruck and a lioness salivating over her next meal. She rubs a stretch of the top’s frills between two fingers, and even causes Kate to yelp in surprise when she turns down the waistline of her skirt to check the label.

“You got all of this at the same place as the dress? You might turn me into a thrift shopper yet…”

Kate casts an embarrassed glance over her shoulder as she nods. “I wasn’t sure what to wear for the party so I picked up a few things.” She giggles at Victoria manhandling her back around to give her one last approving once-over.

“I… I wanted to look good for you,” she adds, her voice trailing off into a murmur.

Victoria reaches up to give Kate’s shoulders a squeeze, her emerald eyes rising to meet Kate’s hazel once more. “While that is incredibly hot of you to say, Katie, what’s important is that you dress to please yourself, you know? As long as _you_ feel good about it, I promise you could make a potato sack look sexy.”

Kate flushes as she nods once again, but offers a cheeky grin at the same time. “W-well… there’s no reason I can’t do both, though, right?” As if to underscore her question, she raises one hand to trace her chest at the border of her top, her shoulders back and eyes shining with quiet confidence.

“ _Absoluuuuutely_ ,” Victoria purrs. “Besides, I shouldn’t be _that_ surprised anyway… As much shit as I gave you for your prim-and-proper look, it was pretty obvious you knew what you were doing with those thin white blouses and skirts that showed off _just_ enough of those killer legs of yours to keep all the horn-dogs at Blackwell coming back for more. Myself included, of course… you didn’t think I missed the way the hems magically seemed to raise a quarter-inch higher every week, did you?”

Kate tries to maintain an innocent expression for a moment, but ends up smirking as she turns away from Victoria’s expectant gaze. “You… might not be _totally_ off-base, there.”

“Oh, trust me honey, I intend to hit _all_ the bases in due time. Bathroom’s all yours!”

Victoria ignores Kate’s indignant spluttering while making a beeline to the guest room to get changed, grinning at her mental image of the girl’s surprised expression and pink cheeks.

Pulling all of the available options out of her suitcase (Victoria over-packed, of course, in order to ensure she had an outfit to suit whatever occasion might arise), she takes her sweet time mixing and matching tops and bottoms, dresses and accessories.

In the end, she decides to complement Kate’s more “girly” attire with a breezy business casual look: a burgundy button up shirt, worn partially tucked and paired with black chinos and suede ballet heels. With a black leather belt and, of course, her pearl necklace to top things off, she moves onto the make-up… opting for a matte burgundy lipstick to match her top, rosy blush, and bronzed eyeshadow

Perhaps not her most understated look, but… Kate said she wanted to look good for _her_. So, likewise, Victoria wants to knock Kate’s thigh-highs _right back off_.

“Are you decent?” she asks, with a light knock on the bathroom door. When Kate hums affirmatively, she steps inside to see the girl putting the finishing touches on twining her long, honey-colored hair into an absolutely _stunning_ plaited braid. Kate’s eyes, reflected as they are in the mirror before her, widen at the sight of Victoria, and she quickly spins to face her with her lips parted in surprise.

“Vic… Victoria, you’re… you’re _perfect_ ,” she stammers. “I mean… you’re always perfect, of course, but… I’ve n-never seen you like this…”

Despite the fact that her heart seems to want to burst right out of her chest at the sound of Kate’s praise, Victoria plays it off with a quick roll of her eyes. “Whatever… you _know_ flattery will get you everywhere, little bunny. Do you need any help?”

Kate looks over her shoulder to inspect her handiwork. “No, I think I’m just about ready…” With that, she reaches for the tube of lip gloss on the counter nearby… only for Victoria to yoink it out from under her at the last moment.

“Not so fast, _missy_. As master of this particular suite I invoke _jus primae glossa_ , the right to be first to apply your lip gloss.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s _not_ a thing,” Kate laughs.

Doing her best to appear non-plussed, Victoria retorts “Did _you_ take two years of Latin as an underclassman? I didn’t think so.”

“I thought you took French…”

“Same difference, they’re all romance languages anyway! Just trust me, Katie, the ancient romans thought of everything. Now…” she says, unscrewing the cap and holding the applicator between her index and middle fingers like it was one of her cigarettes, “… are you going to submit to my authority?”

Kate’s eyes twinkle with mirth, and something else… something deeper. _Hungrier_. “Is that what _you_ want? For me to… submit?”

The air in this relatively spacious bathroom suddenly feels a lot heavier, like it takes twice the effort to draw a breath. “M-maybe not all the time,” Victoria stammers, feeling the heat building in her cheeks and ears. “But it seems like a good start…”

“Are we still talking about lip gloss?” Kate asks with an amused grin. But before Victoria can stutter out a response, the girl leans forward, parting her lips in anticipation of Victoria’s first stroke.

_Fucking Christ, am I ever going to have the upper hand with this chick?_ _Get your head in the game, Chase._ Feeling not particularly like the master of anything, Victoria’s heart flutters at the first press of the applicator tip to Kate’s waiting mouth. She wills her hand not to tremble as she slowly paints those delightful curves and contours with a thin sheen of gloss, enraptured by the way her full red lips move and depress under her gentle touch. Imagining that it’s her own lips, not some thin piece of plastic, doing the touching.

God, but she wants to kiss Kate so _, so bad_ right now…

Kate seems to be just as strongly affected as she is, however, from the rise and fall of her petite chest as her breath quickens, to the way her pupils dilate as she stares almost unblinking into Victoria’s eyes while she works. It’s clear that they are equally close to the precipice… Just the smallest of pushes being all it would take to send them both tumbling into oblivion. Victoria can feel that _want_ , like a pressure welling up within Kate, just as an equal and opposite force builds within herself. Each being held back by the thinnest layer of will. Like two bubbles brushing against each other, needing only a single kiss to burst and release the passion being held tenuously at bay.

Knowing that she’s mere moments from throwing this little competition of theirs, as well as realizing that there’s only so much lip gloss one can apply before it starts getting redundant, Victoria takes the tiniest of steps back from the ledge.

“There…” she nearly croaks, clearing her throat before offering the applicator to Kate. “Do you… want to do me?”

Kate snatches it from her hand with _the quickness_ , rubbing her own lips together to spread the gloss as she eagerly reaches out to return the favor. Victoria touches her fingertip to the center of her lower-lip, before doing the same with the upper. “Just a bit, here… and here.”

“That hardly seems fair…” Kate pouts, eager to give as much of a long and thorough glossing as she received.

“That’s capitalism for you. I bought the room, I make the rules… besides, layering requires a more delicate touch.” Victoria’s eyes hooded with desire of her own, she leans forward to offer herself up to Kate’s light dabbing. When the girl pulls her hand away, Victoria purses her burgundy lips together to blend the gloss with her lipstick… or in offer of a kiss, depending on how one chooses to interpret it. Kate’s eyes gleam at the sight of it, her face moving nigh-imperceptibly closer almost of its own accord.

_Do it, Katie… you know you want to._ Victoria raises a sultry eyebrow, eagerly awaiting the moment Kate breaks at last.

But as the moment stretches on, Kate’s breathing eventually begins to slow, the bridge of her nose fading to a somewhat lighter shade of maroon. Turning away, the girl smiles shakily as she presses her fingers to the marble counter-top to steady herself. Finally, she raises her eyes to the mirror, her reflection casting a questioning glance Victoria’s way.

_‘Am I pretty? Am I worthy? Do you want me?’_ those eyes seem to ask, unable to hide her sincere desperation for Victoria’s approval.

_Yes, yes, and GOD yessss…_ Victoria’s eyes silently respond. If the heat of her desire could be transmitted with just a look, Kate’s clothes would have been burned off _already_.

She steps behind Kate so that her own reflection looms over the girl’s shoulder, her lips quirking in approval at the vision of the two of them so close together. Oil and water. Cat and rabbit. Flame and moth. It shouldn’t work, she tells herself… it shouldn’t feel this _right_.

But Victoria has long since given up trying to explain it… after all, how can you explain something that just _is_?

“Do… do you think we’re… r-ready?” Kate tremulously asks, rocking back on her heels as though she wants nothing more than to fall into Victoria’s arms.

“Almost…” Victoria murmurs, looking their twin visages up and down. “There’s just… something missing.”

Kate tilts her head quizzically, before her eyes light up. “Oh, my cross! I left it on the nightstand…”

She turns to go retrieve it, but is stopped when her shoulders are suddenly caught in Victoria’s iron grip.

“W-wait…” Victoria breathes, her eyes wide and nostrils flaring as she turns Kate to face the mirror once more. Kate’s breath catches in her throat, the confusion in her hazel eyes giving way to sharp, shocked realization as Victoria slowly reaches back to unclasp her pearl necklace.

_You know what this means, right Katie?_ Victoria silently asks of Kate's reflection as she lifts the strand up over her head. _I don’t need to say it out loud, do I?_

Of all her accessories, this particular piece of jewelry is the one most strongly associated with the _Victoria Chase_ brand. Through no small amount of effort and endless self-promotion, pearls have become part and parcel to her very identity in the eyes of her peers. They represent elegance and sex-appeal… while at the same time giving an illusion of purity and innocence, one that she can only be worthy of in her most wishful of thinking. They are perfect, gleaming moons that constantly orbit her, each bearing the power to control the very tides, to enthrall the wolves that howl at the very sight of her.

“Vic… Victoria…”

Kate stands stock-still, frozen almost like a deer caught by the headlights of an oncoming bus. She moves only to lift up her braid as Victoria begins to pull the pearls flush with her thin, pale neck. Victoria’s hands shake as she pulls either end of the strand together behind her.

_Anyone who sees this will KNOW, Katie..._

Victoria raises fiery, _possessive_ emerald eyes to meet Kate’s… her hazel and gold orbs saucer-wide with understanding. With _acquiescence_.

_That they can’t have you… they can’t TOUCH you…_

The clasps _CLICK_ into place.

_… that you’re MINE._

The pearls fall flush with Kate’s pale skin, clinging to her neck and chest as though they were made just for her.

“Will you wear this for me, Katie?” Victoria rests her palms on the girl’s shoulders, not breaking her stare for an _instant_. “Not… not just tonight…?”

“ _Yes_ …” Kate whispers, taking in a deep, quivering breath. Slowly, she reaches up to press a few of them between her thumb and forefinger, rubbing them together as her eyes dart between Victoria’s reflection of her own. “ _Yes…_ ”

Victoria gives those shoulders a firm squeeze. “Good… with that settled, then… then I guess we’re ready…”

Kate turns her head in Victoria’s direction, their faces now scant inches apart. “You know…” the girl murmurs, pausing to allow her pink, darting tongue to wet her lips. “I wouldn’t mind just… staying in…”

Victoria purrs with delight. _This is it_. This is as close to an admission of defeat as she is likely to ever get from Kate. Those hungry eyes, those parted, wanting lips all but cry out for Victoria to hurl her onto the bed, to lift her up onto the marble counter-top, or, _hell_ , just take her right here on the bathroom floor… But does the cat ever go straight for the kill?

_No_. She toys with her victim first. Enjoys the delicious, prolonged suffering that makes that eventual first bite all the more satisfying. Victory is, after all, meant to be _savored_.

“ _Mmm_ … tempting,” Victoria coos. She slides her hands slowly down Kate’s arms, moving in so close that their noses are practically touching. “But I’m not about to let you look _this_ good and miss my chance to show you off.

“Besides, I want you to think of this as a safe environment, where we can remind each other…” Victoria smirks, her eyes taking on a wicked gleam. “… that it _IS_ ok to wait.”

Kate’s eyebrows scrunch inward as though she’s in _pain_. Victoria can feel the girl’s breath on her mouth and nose when she releases a longing, shuddering sigh. “You’re so _mean_ …” she whines.

“ _Mmhmm_ … just call me Regina George. Now get that cute butt in gear,” she commands, with a sharp tap to the body-part in question for emphasis. “The night is young, and we’re going to fucking _OWN_ it.”

*****

One thing Victoria prides herself on is her ability to show her date a good time, especially when she’s on familiar turf and money is no object. And while Kate is quite possibly the most exceptional girl she’s courted, this outing’s _results_ were no exception. Victoria eschewed the standard clubbing and bar-hopping fare, knowing that Kate wasn’t about that kind of scene... no, tonight called for quiet. Romantic. Intimate. That last word in particular replaying in Victoria’s mind again and again as the night progressed. Intimate. Intimate. Intimate. _Intimate_.

They began by visiting a spa in the Northwest district for a couple’s candlelight massage and foot bath. The brief spike of envy Victoria felt at the sound of Kate’s relieved moans was quickly melted away along with the knots and tension in her back and shoulders by her own masseuse’s deft hands. Though Victoria was certain she could get the complimentary champagne service without being carded, she let it slide… Kate did seem stubborn, after all, about their adherence to the “dining, but no wining” agreement, despite being reluctant to elaborate on why. Not that Victoria minded terribly… for her, tonight was all about Katie. As far as she was concerned, whatever Katie wanted, she was going to _get_.

Whatever… another word that had a nice ring to it. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. _Whatever_.

From there they took a tour of the Lan Su Chinese Garden, walking arm in arm through the courtyards and pavilions, marveling at the lush vegetation and classical Chinese architecture illuminated by lantern light. And, of course, paying a visit to the teahouse for Kate’s drug of choice: oolong for herself and green tea for Victoria. the self-described espresso-addict joking that her date may just make a convert of her yet.

But Victoria had a hard time paying attention to the gardens. Or the pavilions. Or the tea. Or anything at all, really, aside from the way the moonlight played on Kate’s fair skin. The way her fingers kept rising up to touch Victoria’s pearl necklace, as though reassuring herself that it was still there. The way those hazel eyes looked at her with such pure, primal _hunger_ every time she did. Had anyone ever looked at Victoria like that before? Like she was suffocating, and Victoria was the last gasp of air? Like Victoria was an oasis amidst leagues of scorching, inhospitable desert, one that would drive a thirsty traveler to offer up her first-born for just one sip of her cool, crystal waters?

No… from the way her heart pounds, the way her tongue ties, the way her body _reacts_ every time she sees that look, Victoria would definitely remember it if anyone had.

Victoria’s primary goal of this little outing was to keep Kate’s mind off of nightmares and depositions, off of the stresses and anxieties that would come with their impending return to Arcadia Bay. To give her that “normal girl” experience she so wistfully mentioned early this morning after they woke up practically in each other’s arms. And in that respect, her plan seemed to be going off without a hitch. A joy and wonder the likes of which Victoria hadn’t seen since the day they met in the Girls’ Dorm hallway shining on Kate’s face. No, it was more than that… for even on _that_ magical day there was still a trace of incalculable sadness, of unfulfilled longing that her eyes bore no trace of now.

She almost asked about the first time they hung out in Kate’s room, about Kate’s tearful confession that she’d had unrequited feelings for someone from her time before arriving at Blackwell. Feelings that were only real to _her_. Victoria manages to resist the urge to bring this up, partially because she realizes how ridiculous it is to feel insecure over a former crush from Kate’s past when she herself could field a soccer team with her own collection of exes. But mostly because thinking that there could be someone else back in Salem that Kate looks at with those same eyes feels like a dagger in Victoria’s gut… especially after speaking with Max earlier reminded her how fresh those wounds still remain.

That’s not the kind of question she’s prepared to have answered, not when all of this is so fragile and new. Not when the answer is liable to send Victoria running _screaming_ for the hills.

After a decadent dinner of mussel _velouté_ and beef cheek _bourguignon_ , Victoria _had_ planned to take Kate to explore the Portland Art Museum, a staple that she makes time for every time she visits the city. However, she soon finds herself acquiescing to Kate’s increasingly strong hints that she’s ready to return to the hotel, trying her best to ignore the swell of nerves that trills through her stomach like so many flittering butterflies. The hour _is_ getting late, after all, and they would have a long day ahead of them tomorrow. They’ll visit the museum next time, they agree, both grinning at the unspoken promise that there would be a next time for the two of them… and perhaps even a time after that, and after that…

Soon they find themselves strolling down the sidewalks of downtown, hand in hand as they make their way along the final stretch to the hotel. They’d hopped out of their uber a few blocks away to give themselves one last chance to stretch their legs and soak in the night around them. Though their evening had been filled with laughter and easy conversation up to this point, Victoria finds that Kate has fallen notably quiet, the only sounds between them the scuff of Kate’s shoes and the clack of Victoria’s heels on the concrete.

“Victoria…?” Kate asks, breaking the silence at last. “Can… can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Victoria responds, giving the girl’s thin hand a reassuring squeeze.

It seems to take Kate quite some time, either to find the words she wants to say, or to work up the nerve to say them. When she finally speaks, her voice is soft, and hesitant.

“What… what is it that you… l-like about me?”

“ _Geeze_ , Kate…” Victoria laughs, feeling her ears burn with embarrassment at being put on the spot like that. “What kind of question is that?”

Kate grips her hand tightly, her eyes locked on the sidewalk a few feet ahead of them. “It’s just… this is all happening so suddenly, you know? I guess… I want to be sure that you don’t feel… _obligated_ to me or anything. For helping you with Nathan the other night.”

Victoria returns Kate’s grip just as hard. _Of course,_ she knew that Kate had a good reason for asking something like that. She’s not the kind of girl that fishes for compliments, after all… but, as it turns out, the reason is one that Victoria is all too familiar with. Because despite all the confidence and bravery Kate has proven she possesses, she can still be just as much of an insecure teenager as Victoria is. But more than that, Kate wants to be sure that Victoria is with her for the _right_ reasons. Because Kate is the kind of girl that is willing to deny herself someone she truly wants if she thought being together would hurt that person in the long run.

“Well, for starters, you’re sweet and tiny… like one of those fun-size candy bars.” Victoria smirks as she glances her way, and though Kate still doesn’t meet her eyes, her red lips still twitch up into the beginnings of an amused smile.

“You’re so brave. And not just for beating up kidnappers or whatever… you’re brave enough to be _yourself_ , to do your own thing no matter how much shit you take for it from assholes like... Like _me_. And you’re kind, _genuinely_ kind… more so than anyone I’ve ever met. But you also have this positively _devilish_ sense of humor that catches me off guard every single time you let it peek out.”

Victoria sighs, studying the pattern of the bricks that make up the wall to their right. “You challenge me. But, at the same time… you make me feel _safe_. And I’m not used to feeling that way, like, _ever_. When I’m with you, I don’t have to hide, or bullshit, because you _see_ me. The _real_ me. And you don’t know how fucking scary it is for me to be seen like that. But I'm finally starting to realize how much I need to know that someone can see past the rich, spoiled little bitch and… and still want to _stay_.”

“Besides…” she continues, blinking back the tears that have begun to form. “It’s not… _sudden_ , for me. I’ve wanted this for a long time, Katie. When you confessed to me on the roof that day, I wanted _so bad_ to say yes. To just drop everything else and be with you, but you were right… I was _afraid_. Of having to choose between you and my social standing. Of not being good enough for you. Of _hurting_ you. When I got back to my room I cried, just sobbed into my pillow for like an hour straight. At one point Taylor walked in and I had to scream at her to get the fuck out… the next day I told her I was on my period.”

Victoria chuckles ruefully at the memory. “She played along, but I could tell she didn’t buy it. You know, she was subtle about it, but she tried to get me to text you back when I was at the police station. I think she always had an idea about you and me.”

“Oh, Victoria…” Kate whispers, squeezing her hand as though holding on for dear life.

“And even before that, those first few days in the dorms… I really was hoping that there could be something between us. I may be a thirsty ho but I don’t hang out in the shower room to flash _everyone_ I just met, you know. But when we met in the hall the next morning, I realized you were religious, and… and I thought I overstepped. That you didn’t… like me the same way.”

“It was _nothing_ like that!” Kate protests, taking Victoria’s hand in both of hers now. “I… I was just so overwhelmed at first, and didn’t know what to do or how to t-talk to you…”

“Kate, it’s _okay_ …” Victoria reaches up with her free hand to dab at her eyes. “It was probably for the best, honestly. I had my head so far up my own ass back then, I don’t know that it would have worked. I wasn’t ready. I think I would have gotten there eventually, but… this past week has opened my eyes to a lot of things that I couldn’t see before. If there’s one thing I can be grateful about with all the hell I’ve gone through, it’s that.”

Her skin feels so hot under the cool night air that Victoria’s almost shocked her face hasn’t caught fire at this point. Giving the girl a little nudge with her elbow, she finishes with “So… I guess that’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for listening to my Ted Talk…”

Kate appears to have fallen silent again, and this time it stretches on long enough that Victoria’s own insecurities begin to nag at her. _Did I say too much? Too little? Did I make such a fool of myself that she’s having second thoughts now?_ She knows all these thoughts are ridiculous, that Kate couldn’t possibly be that fickle. But it still doesn’t prevent them from worrying her like a cloud of biting flies.

She’s about to crack a joke, some pithy little remark to ease the tensions swirling in her mind before they become a tornado of anxiety, when Kate comes to a sudden halt… that firm grip on Victoria’s hand pulling her to a stop as well. The girl is still focused on the sidewalk between them, her forehead knitted and mouth working as though she too is struggling with something behind the curtain.

“Katie…?” Victoria starts to ask, but she is forestalled by those brilliant hazel eyes, practically shimmering in the moonlight rising to meet hers.

“Victoria, I…” Kate pauses to wet her lips. “I said that I would be patient… that I would wait for you as long as you need me to. And I mean that, but… I just need you to know that this is _everything_ to me. And I don’t care if you were drunk, or thinking of me as a rebound. No matter what the reason, I’m _so_ happy that you gave me my first kiss.”

Victoria swallows nervously, finding herself captivated by the sheer, earnest emotion shining through those eyes. The anxiety from earlier combining with the weight of the moment to drive every last ounce of suave self-assurance right out of her body. Right now, she understands exactly what Kate meant about feeling overwhelmed, unsure of what to do or what to say… so she falls back on her tried and true strategy, the one that never fails her: buying herself time by deflecting with humor. Crossing her arms over her chest, Victoria purses her lips and raises a single eyebrow, doing her best to give off an air of casual aloofness.

“Oh yeah?” she asks with a smirk, raising that eyebrow another millimeter or two for added effect. “Well then, I guess it’s too bad it was stricken from the rec…”

But Kate, after taking a swift step forward to close the distance between them, rises up on her tiptoes to cut her off with a soft, gentle _kiss_.

It is the barest brush of Kate’s lips to hers, one that could even be described as chaste, and just as quick as it began Kate is stepping away once more. But it leaves Victoria stunned and breathless all the same, her mouth falling open as her mind races to catch up.

It happened so fast that it leaves her to wonder if it really happened at all, or if it was just a product of her own fantasies. However, the way Victoria’s heart is jack-hammering in her chest, the way her lips are practically _burning_ from that brief touch, as well as the bright red flush spreading across Kate’s nose and cheeks and the telltale smear of burgundy left behind on the girl’s lips all confirm: it _did_ happen. Kate just kissed her.

_Kate just KISSED her._

And no matter how one might describe such a kiss, the look in those eyes of hers right now is _anything but_ chaste. They’re wet and shimmering and boring a hole right through Victoria, practically _searing_ her with want. With intensity. With _challenge_. But also, something else… a deep, aching need to _know_.

_That she’s not alone_.

_That her feelings are requited_.

_That this is just as real for Victoria as it is for her_.

Once again Victoria finds herself on the edge of a cliff, one that Kate has led her too so many times before. In Mrs. Hoida’s classroom, when she unleashed her hidden lust. On the dorm roof, where she nearly professed her love. In the showers before the End of the World party, where she silently offered up her body and soul to soothe Victoria’s pain. And every single time, Victoria ran away, as far and as fast as she could. To protect Kate, yes… but if she’s being honest, _truly_ honest, she knows that she also did it to protect _herself_.

Because Victoria knows one step is all it will take to fall into the deep, endless sea of Kate’s passion, and once she does there will be no turning back. She’ll either learn to swim in it or she will drown, but either way the life she knew before will be gone forever.

Kate simply stands there, clutching Victoria’s pearl necklace with just as much reverence as she would her cross. Her jaw firmly set, her eyes patient, defiant, and pleading all at once. Victoria knows that Kate would await her answer for a lifetime if she has too, because the one thing the girl possesses above all others is the absolute certainty that this is what she wants. All she needs is for Victoria to choose once and for all to _be with her_.

This isn’t the way Victoria wanted this to happen. It’s too much, too fast. She thought that she could take things slow, meticulously plan every single, measured step to ensure that she avoids every mess, every pitfall. After all, she as well as anyone knows one thing for sure: only fools rush in.

But Victoria knows something else, as well. Something that she’s learned from years of hard experience: that she can be a fucking idiot when she wants to be. So, with that in mind…

This time, she _doesn’t_ run. This time, Victoria takes a long stride to close the distance between them and presses her fingers to Kate’s cheeks, tilting the girl’s face upward at the same time that she leans in to envelop the girl’s lips in a kiss so fierce and desperate that no one could _ever_ accuse it of being chaste.

She growls hungrily as she continues her forward motion, attacking Kate’s lips as she forces her backward, refusing to stop until she has Kate pinned to the brick wall behind her with one thigh wedged between her legs. A low moan that seems to well up from deep within the core of Kate’s very _being_ escapes her mouth in the brief moment that Victoria pulls away, only to come crashing back in once more… and soon enough Kate’s hands are locked around Victoria’s wrists, her mouth searching, pressing, and molding into Victoria’s with equal ferocity. Equal _desire_.

Victoria knows that they’re making a scene, putting on quite a show for anyone who might happen to walk or drive past. But she doesn’t care, couldn’t give a good God damn what anyone else might think. Because _this is it_. This is the moment she’s been waiting for weeks that somehow feel like _years_. She feels as though she’s taking in the intense fucking _heat_ that seems to radiate from Kate, absorbing it through her mouth until it infuses every cell in her body.

And when Kate’s lips part ever so slightly, when Victoria can feel the soft tip of her tongue waiting behind them, she figures that’s as good as an invitation as any. Without hesitation she slides her tongue into Kate’s mouth… and this time, she’s not drunk, or high, or under some bizarre otherworldly influence. Because that’s why Kate was so adamant about not drinking tonight, wasn’t it? So that Victoria would not have a single excuse after this, no option but to accept this for what it is.

Because this time it’s _Victoria_ making the choice, _all_ of her, and she brings the full weight of her years of experience to bear. Eliciting tiny squeaks of satisfaction as she probes Kate with her tongue, teases her, allowing herself to meld into Kate for long, tantalizing moments. Then darting away, forcing the girl to whine in frustration as she desperately chases her again and again.

Victoria’s mind is on _fire_ , her every nerve vibrating, starbursts blooming behind her closed eyelids. She has envisioned this moment so many times, but even in her wildest fantasies she never knew it could be like this. It takes everything she has to capture the electricity that courses through her veins and mold it, shape it, and redirect it right back into Kate while she relishes the feel of her lips, the press of her body, the sweet taste of tea, cherry lip gloss, and Kate’s tongue.

Kate begins listing to the side, her legs shaking like they’re about to give out from under her. Victoria slips her hands underneath the girl’s arms, slapping her palms against the bricks to steady her. Kate takes the opportunity to wrap her arms around Victoria’s neck to pull her in even further, though it’s anyone’s guess whether it’s to keep herself upright or to trap Victoria into a crushing kiss that she can no longer retreat from. Probably both.

But Victoria _needs_ to retreat. Because Kate’s barely breathing, sagging into her like she’s mere instants from passing out. Because Victoria is becoming so lost in their shared passions that if it goes much further she’ll be lucky if they don’t catch a public indecency charge. However that may be easier said than done, as Kate’s arms around her neck are so heavy and inescapable that they may as well be made of fucking iron. The girl obviously couldn’t care less if she faints in the process of pulling Victoria ever deeper into the kiss. _Shit_ , how can a chick so small be so _strong_? Do they put roids in the fucking communion wafers or something?

So, Victoria does what she always does when she really needs to win. She _cheats_.

Shifting her weight, Victoria grinds her thigh between Kate’s legs, causing the girl to gasp aloud, her arms weakening as a shiver runs through her stiffening body. She pounces on the opportunity to suck Kate’s bottom lip between her own, trapping it between her teeth. Pulling. Nibbling. Making Kate moan so loud they can probably hear it all the way back in Arcadia Fucking Bay before finally releasing it with a wet _pop_. Victoria doesn’t waste a moment before diving in to taste Kate’s neck, salty with sweat, leaving a trail of lipstick on her way down to that pale, exposed shoulder as the girl gasps for air.

Finally, when she’s confident enough that Kate can stand unassisted, Victoria slowly pulls away to gaze into Kate’s now vacant, glassy eyes. Eyes that seem to say ‘ _Kate’s not here right now, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you when I return to this solar system._ ’

Fighting off the intense urge to go back in for another kiss, Victoria smiles shakily and stutters “S-sorry, I… I maybe got a little overzealous there. Are… are you alright, Katie?”

Kates doesn’t say a word, doesn’t even move save for her left hand finding its way back up to the pearls around her neck, continuing to pant as though she’d just finished running a marathon. _Sharp inhale, shaky exhale. Sharp inhale, shaky exhale._

Victoria bites her own lip this time, inwardly freaking the fuck out while Kate’s gaze slowly comes back into focus, wondering what emotions those expressive hazel and gold eyes will reveal. Is Kate feeling the same nervous delight, the same contentment as Victoria? Anger that she took her to first base and was moments from stealing second in full view of a busy street in the middle of downtown Portland?

Kate’s free hand clenches and unclenches at her side while her fingertips toy with the pearls around her neck. Her face and neck, at least the stretches of skin not covered in Victoria’s burgundy lipstick, burns fiery red, those hazel and gold eyes taking on a mysterious, unreadable look… no, that’s not quite right. Victoria _absolutely_ recognizes that look. It’s the same one that she saw in her own reflection when she put that necklace on Kate in the first place. A look that says ‘ _Now you’ve done it, Victoria Maribeth Chase. You’re in deep shit. You’re up the creek without a paddle._ ’

A look that says: ‘ _Now you’re MINE._ ’

Without another word Kate grabs Victoria’s hand and pulls her, practically _drags_ her along behind as she hurries down the sidewalk in the direction of the hotel.

_Is… is this really happening?_ Victoria wonders, feeling like she’s on auto-pilot while she meekly follows Kate’s lead. _Am I letting this happen? Fuck, could I stop Kate, stop **myself** if I even wanted to?_

It’s kind of funny, when she thinks about it. She’s always thought of herself as a predator, and Kate the cute, innocent, fluffy prey. But now the rabbit was leading the cat straight back to her den. Victoria supposes the only question is, which one of them is about to be doing the devouring?

But when Kate looks back at Victoria over her shoulder for a few seconds, when Victoria sees that same deep, primal hunger from before… now mixed with something new, with the anticipation of a hunger about to be imminently satiated, the answer becomes pretty God damn clear.

_Yeah_ … Victoria’s money is on _the_ _rabbit_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So all apologies for another long delay between chapters. This time I felt it was more justified, as this thing got to be absolutely massive to the point that I felt the need to split it in two! However, Part 2 is mostly written at this point, so you can expect it within the next week or less from the date of this posting. :3
> 
> I also thought it was a good opportunity to put what happens when Katie and Vic get back to the hotel in its own chapter, since, I don't think it's much of a spoiler to say that things are about to get a bit heated. I wanted to do this partially because I did not originally tag this story to include what could verge on smut-territory, so this way it will be easy to skip for those who would prefer not to see that kind of thing. 
> 
> Also in case anyone noticed that there are no longer song lyrics included in the chapters/notes, its because I learned recently that doing so can possibly be seen as a copywrite issue. Figured it would be best to remove it pending further research to see exactly how much is ok to incorporate.
> 
> Last things last, for any who are curious, "mon petit lapin" is French for "my little bunny". <3
> 
> Again I hope you are all doing well, and thank you so, so much for all the support. See you in Part 2! XD


	15. Do I Wanna Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Kate keeps her head down the entire way back to the hotel, her gaze locked on the ground in front of her while she drags Victoria along behind. Every now and then Victoria can catch a flash of crimson cheek over the shorter girl’s shoulder, can feel the rush of nervous energy vibrating up through Kate’s hand and into her own. She doesn’t even look up as they make their way through the glass doors of the hotel entrance, leaving Victoria to flash the doorman an embarrassed grin, her own blush deepening at the knowing, almost congratulatory raise of his eyebrows in return.

_Yeah, that dude knows the score_. Half the _city_ knows the score at this point. Not that it matters or anything… Victoria’s pretty sure that even finding her and Kate’s extended families gathered together in their suite to observe their consummation wouldn’t be enough to stop _this_ runaway train.

The elevator doors aren’t even halfway closed by the time Kate pounces on Victoria, driving her back into the wall as she takes her turn to claim Victoria’s lips for her own.

The rest of the way back to their suite is a blur of groping hands, soft lips, and wet tongues. Victoria just barely has the presence of mind to thank God that their room is so close to the elevator, for she honestly doesn’t know if they would make it much farther if not. She’s having enough trouble as it is, mumbling frustrated curses into Kate’s ravenous mouth as she fumbles to slide the keycard into the lock, Kate obviously not planning to make things easier by letting up for even a _second_.

Once inside, Victoria briefly considers hitting the pause button to discuss boundaries, red lines, safe words… all that good stuff. This is, after all, Kate’s first time making it even _this_ far in a relationship, and she wouldn’t want to do anything to make the girl uncomfortable. But Kate is already pulling Victoria’s partially tucked shirt the rest of the way out from under her chinos, manhandling her back toward the bed before she’s even had a chance to kick off her heels. She clearly wants to be in the driver’s seat, and at the moment Victoria can’t think of anywhere she _wouldn’t_ want to go. When it’s her turn to drive, Victoria can make sure they stick to the speed limit, but for now…? She’s perfectly content to see where this road takes her.

Kate’s hands are shaking as she struggles with the buttons of Victoria’s top, having only undone the first two by the time the backs of Victoria's legs bump up against the bed. But it’s the feel of wetness on Kate’s cheeks, the quiet hiccupping in her throat that makes Victoria pull away from her kiss to put her hands on her shoulders.

“Katie…? It’s all right, if you’re not ready we can stop right here. I swear I won’t be…”

“ _No!_ ” Kate protests, perhaps louder than she meant from the look of embarrassed surprise that crosses her face immediately afterward. Closing her eyes, she says with a shaking voice “I… I want to _so much_ , it’s just… I can’t believe this is really happening…”

_You and me both, sweetheart…_

Victoria’s smile is slow, and seductive. It’s clear to her that Kate’s inner freak, always lurking just beneath the surface, is just _dying_ to get out. Only being held back by a thin cage of nerves and hesitation.

Sometimes a bear just needs a little poke before she roars…

“It _is_ real, _lapin_. I’m right here…” She leans in for a quick kiss, just enough to qualify for a tease. “I’m _all_ yours tonight…” She bites at her lip, trapping it, making the girl whimper before letting it go. She bends lower to nip at the soft flesh where her neck meets her shoulder, once, twice, three times… and can almost feel the frustration beginning to radiate from Kate’s skin.

“Now, are you gonna fuck around with those buttons all night…?”

Taking Kate’s hand in hers, she manipulates those delicate fingers into taking a firm hold of the open V of her shirt. Victoria watches Kate’s widening eyes, locked in rapt attention on their hands as Victoria slowly pulls… straining the next button until it finally comes flying off with a tiny, satisfying _pop_.

“… Or are you going to _take what you want?_ ”

In the span of heartbeats, Victoria can see the nerves, and worry, and doubt fade from Kate’s glistening hazel eyes as they harden with confidence. With _lust_. Reaching up to grasp the other side of her shirt, Kate pulls _hard_ , tearing the remaining buttons right out before sliding the garment off of her shoulders to flutter to the floor.

Kate’s hands are already unbuttoning Victoria’s chinos before she interrupts her by pulling her frilly top up and over her head, earning an impatient little grunt from Kate in the process. Her chest bare save for the black, front-clasping bra holding the twins at bay, Victoria is wiggling her chinos down past her hips when Kate pushes her onto the bed. Her startled laughter has barely passed her lips before Kate tugs her pants the rest of the way off with one swift motion.

Victoria watches with fascination as Kate slides out of her skirt, the only things covering her pale, lithe body are her unassuming white bra and panties, along with the thigh highs she doesn’t bother to take off before slinking onto the bed. Rising up on her elbows, Victoria slowly shimmies backwards, her eyes heavy-lidded and beckoning.

_Chase me, Katie. Catch me if you can…_ and chase Kate does, matching her pace with an expression so appetitive one might think Victoria was the tastiest carrot this little bunny had ever seen.

She knows that Kate, however briefly, has already seen more of her body than this thanks to the shower incident… but this time there’s no shock on her face, no turning away almost as fast as she lays eyes on her. This time it’s a look of _need_ , of something close to _reverence_ , those hazel eyes roaming over every inch of her. A look that makes Victoria’s lips part involuntarily, makes her shiver with anticipation when Kate finally closes the distance.

The shivering doesn’t stop when Kate’s lips find hers once more, her right hand cupping Victoria’s chin as she slides in to half snuggle, half pin Victoria’s body with her own. It only intensifies when Kate’s tongue probes her mouth, when that same hand slowly slides down to caress the length of her neck, the curve of her shoulder.

Despite this being far from her first time being intimate with someone, it feels… different somehow. Like Victoria is only just now learning how it feels to be kissed, to be touched. Her mind so thick and heavy with the sensations rushing over her that it’s all she can do to brush at the smooth skin of Kate’s back with her fingertips, or to trace the outline of the stockinged leg that slides up to cover both of her own.

Kate’s exploring hand travels low enough to hesitantly, tentatively cup Victoria's breast over the bra. And even a touch as gentle and muted as that is enough to send a powerful shudder throughout her body, causing goosebumps to rise on her flesh. But Kate seems to misread the gasp her touch involuntarily draws from Victoria's throat as one of discomfort, for she hurriedly pulls away, raising up onto her hands and knees with that sudden worry returning to fill her widening eyes. “I’m-I’m sorry, I…”

Her apology is silenced by Victoria darting up to kiss her, again sucking that plump red lip into her mouth and refusing to release it until that hesitation is naught but a distant memory. Grabbing Kate’s hand to move it back into its former position, Victoria lies back… making sure the girl sees the _heat_ in her gaze as she whispers “Whatever you want, Katie… anything, _everything_. The answer is _yes_.”

Kate nods dumbly, leaning back to rest on her knees while bringing her other hand up to join the first. She begins to rub, to caress, to _knead_ Victoria's supple flesh until that primal beast that resides in the pit of her stomach and between her legs positively _growls_ for more. And perhaps Kate can sense her rising desperation, for that metaphorical growl is matched by the rumble that vibrates in her own throat as she unhooks Victoria’s bra to fully reveal her chest to the chilly air.

Despite all the experience she’s had with various partners over the years, Victoria has never felt more _exposed_ in her life than she does right now. She feels a sudden urge to cover herself, to try to hide any flaws or imperfections the girl may perceive, but she manages to stay her hands… because the way Kate’s eyes shimmer with tears, joyful ones this time, and the high-pitched, warbling “ _ohhhh_ …!” that escapes her mouth at the sight before her reminds Victoria that this is _Katie_. _Her_ _Katie_. And she would never judge her. Never _hurt_ her. So instead, Victoria puts those hands to better use by scratching her fingernails along the fabric of Kate’s bra, smiling sultrily as she whines “ _Not fair_ …”

Kate hesitates for only a moment before licking her lips and reaching behind her back to unfasten the garment in question. Before she even has a chance to toss it aside, Victoria is cupping Kate’s breasts with searching, kneading hands, causing the girl to throw her head back from the force of her pleasured cry as her entire body stiffens under Victoria’s touch.

However, if Victoria thought this little stunt would somehow shift her role from touch- _ee_ to touch- _er_ , she was sorely mistaken… for soon enough, Kate grabs those hands and pins them to the bed at Victoria’s side, her cry of pleasure transforming into a needful growl as she dives in to practically _maul_ the length of her neck.

While Kate works her way from Victoria’s shoulder to her clavicle, those delicate hands that entwine with hers rendering her almost perfectly immobile, Victoria feels helpless in a way that she’s surely _not_ accustomed to. But instead of running from this new, unfamiliar sensation, she _exults_ in it. For when she arches her back to bring her chest up to meet Kate’s waiting mouth, Victoria has a sudden epiphany… that her dreams and fantasies revolving around Kate were never about dominance or submission… though Victoria certainly wouldn’t object if Kate were to whip out the leather restraints or riding crop.

No, what it was really about was being _vulnerable_. Something she couldn’t allow herself to be, was mortally _afraid_ of being in front of anyone else… but also something she can’t help being when Kate is involved. Because no matter how much Victoria tries to hide her true, terrified, insecure self from the outside world, those ever-caring, all- _knowing_ hazel eyes have always managed to _see_ her. See right into the deepest, darkest depths of Victoria’s soul. And despite all that, Kate has _never_ run from her. Never _forsaken_ her. Whether watching from afar or wrapping her up in a comforting embrace, Kate’s only direction with Victoria is forward. _Always_ forward.

Victoria is trapped somewhere between the swell of delicate, fragile emotions roiling through her mind and the pleasure of Kate’s fingernails scraping her toned stomach. Of her red lips and warm tongue forming a seal around her nipple. Of Kate’s groin pressed firmly into her hip as her leg rhythmically rubs back and forth across Victoria’s thighs. 

But whatever thoughts and musings that are tumbling about in that overly analytical brain of hers are soon banished, utterly and completely. Victoria's mind going momentarily _blank_ and a cry of pure exultation torn from her lips as that roving hand finally, _finally_ slides its way into her panties.

Kate moans, shuddering at the feel of Victoria’s _extremely_ obvious arousal beneath her fingertips. Gazing deeply into her eyes, Kate asks in a hoarse, throaty whisper “Is… is this okay?”

Victoria is certain anyone would agree on that being an absolutely _unfair_ question to ask considering the fact that Kate’s fingers have already started moving even before the words left the girl’s mouth. Like, _seriously_? What, is she supposed to calmly debate the pros and cons while twitching and bucking beneath Kate’s exploring touch? While the only words she can even _remember_ aside from breathlessly reciting Kate’s name are “Oh”, “God”, and “ _YES!_ ”

That exposed, vulnerable feeling from before was absolutely _nothing_ compared to this. She can feel the walls she’s built to protect herself over the years begin to crumble. Victoria wants to close her eyes, wants to look away, but each time she tries Kate caresses her cheek with her free hand. Bringing her back to those fucking _gorgeous_ eyes, begging her to let Kate see _every_ part of her.

Kate isn’t her most experienced lover by a long shot… but it doesn’t matter. Because Kate watches every twitch in her eyes, every quiver of her chin, every miniscule reaction to her touch and tempo, experimenting and refining like a conductor leading her orchestra ever closer to a grand crescendo.

“Ka… Katie…” Victoria laughingly stammers between moans. “Whatever… aaah! H-happened… _Mmmnnn_ … to... to waiting…?”

Kate leans in to kiss her. Softly. Sweetly. The pearls that hang from her neck brushing up against Victoria’s throat. Rising up a few inches, Victoria can see the sincere, joyous _passion_ in Kate’s eyes as she shakes her head. “I don’t want to wait anymore… I don’t _need_ to wait. Because… you’re the only one for me.”

Those eyes mesmerize her. While Kate’s fingers continue to glide across her… _inside_ of her… all that Victoria can think is that she sees that which she’s longed for all this time. Floating and swirling amongst the passion, the lust, and the desire is a warm, familiar, _shining_ glimmer, one that looks a lot like… like…

Sensing how close to the brink Victoria is, Kate’s fingers quicken their pace. “You’re who I’m _meant_ to be with…”

… like _love_.

Suddenly, a spike of intense anxiety courses through Victoria’s brain. A deep, gnawing fear gripping her heart as she remembers where she saw that kind of look before. When she remembers how that look wasn’t actually meant for _her_.

Kate wets her lips, her eyes beseeching Victoria to climax while she readies the words that Victoria both desperately wants and deeply dreads to hear. But the anxiety is raging into full blown panic now, because this suddenly feels like too much. Too soon. Because if Katie says those words right now it will make them real in her mind, and _that’s_ what can hurt her most of all. Because Victoria doesn’t know if she can _survive_ it if it turns out to be a lie just like every other time in her life. Her mother. Her father. Nate. _Max_.

_‘I love you, Mommy…’_

_‘ **Hmm? Oh… that’s nice, dear.** ’_

_No, Katie, don’t…_ Victoria tries to speak but can’t. Whether it’s from pleasure or terror or a mix of both, her throat is too tight. Her mouth isn’t working like it should. So Victoria does the only thing she can to forestall her: she grabs Kate by the pearls around her neck and pulls her down into a _blistering_ kiss.

_‘ **It’s just you and me against the world, Vic. We’ll always have each other’s backs.** ’_

_‘Whatever, Nate. I love you too, even when you’re being melodramatic like this.’_

She would hold Kate there all night if she could, but she can feel her grip on that necklace weakening. She’s close now, _so close_ , the pressure inside of her building and building like a dam on the verge of bursting. She can’t even bring herself to cry out in despair when Kate pulls away from her once more.

_‘Maxine, please…!’_

_‘ **It was always Chloe… I thought I could prove to myself that I didn’t love her anymore.** ’_

“Victoria…” Kate whispers, tears falling from her eyes to splash down onto Victoria’s cheeks.

_‘So, do you have anyone waiting for you back home? Like a boyfriend or...?’_

Victoria’s own tears roll down to mingle with Kates. _Katie, please…_

‘ ** _There's... someone I've had feelings for for a long time, but... I guess you can say it's one sided._** ’

“I…”

‘ ** _It's only ever been real for me._** ’

“I love y…”

“Katie, _STOP!_ ” Victoria shouts, planting her hands on Kate’s shoulders and _pushing_ with all the strength she can muster. Kate falls backwards to land on her rear end, her eyes widening with shock and confusion while Victoria scrambles backwards as far as she can go.

“Vic… Victoria?” Kate asks, her voice trembling. Afraid. _Hurt_.

She needs to tell Kate what’s wrong, but she can’t speak through the sob erupting from her throat. She can’t even _look_ at her. So, she does the only thing she can right now. The only thing that she’s ever been good for…

Victoria clambers out of bed and _runs_.

*****

Of course, being that Victoria is in a suite at a near-capacity hotel with her tits out and wearing nothing but her underwear, her options of places she can run to are rather limited. So she makes it as far as the guest bedroom, slamming the door behind her before clapping her hands to her face and sobbing to the sound of Kate’s panicked calls from the other side.

“ _Victoria_ …?!” Kate cries, urgently rapping her knuckles on the door between them. “Did… did I do something wrong?”

She can hear the barely suppressed sob in Kate’s own voice, the fear that she messed up somehow, that Victoria is hurt and it’s all her fault. And Victoria _hates_ herself for it, for _being_ like this. She was right all along, Kate deserves so much better than to be with a fucking disaster like her, who can’t even make love to someone without freaking out mid-coitus like a total lunatic just because she heard the “L”-word. How messed up is it that she was down for every filthy thing Kate’s mind could have come up with and more besides, but can’t handle being told how she _feels_.

Especially when she _wants_ Kate to love her. She wants it so much right now, but she just can’t make herself _believe_ it. Because why would Kate or _anyone_ love someone like her? She’s selfish, egotistical, immature. Someone who has built their entire life around crafting the pretense of perfection when she can barely keep herself together at the best of times… and who hasn’t cared about who she hurt in the process of keeping that false image alive.

“I’m… I’m coming in, alright?” Kate hesitantly says after Victoria fails to respond. Victoria doesn’t try to stop her, she just moves as far away as the walls will allow when the door clicks open a few moments later. She can hear the shuffling of Kate’s stocking-clad feet against the carpet as she steps inside, stopping a few feet behind her. She can also hear the hurt, verging on devastation in her voice when she finally speaks again.

“Victoria, _please_ talk to me. Tell me what I did… whatever it is, I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorr—”

She doesn’t want to face Kate, to let the girl see her shame, but she can’t take it anymore. Kate didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not right for her to feel guilty when this is all Victoria’s fault. Rounding on her quickly enough to startle Kate into taking a half-step backwards, Victoria tries to choke out the jumble of thoughts raging through her mind. “Don’t… don’t _say_ things like that…” she practically wails. “You shouldn’t… I don’t…”

Kate stands before her in the darkened room, her lower lip trembling and her cheeks stained with tears. Her hair is a mess, having mostly come loose from her braid by now to spill down her back and over her shoulders. She clutches Victoria’s burgundy top tightly to her chest, the hem hanging down to cover her legs nearly to the knee. It was likely the closest thing she could find to cover herself in her panicked rush to follow her in here. A look of pained confusion crosses her face, her mouth moving as though she’s silently repeating Victoria’s words in an effort to decipher their meaning.

“You… you mean that I love you?” Kate finally asks, holding her free hand out in a placating fashion when Victoria sobs again at the sound of those words. “But… I _do_! I don’t understand why you…”

“Because it doesn’t make _sense_ , Katie!” Victoria shouts, far more angrily than she means to… not that she can help herself, regardless. The rage and self-hatred is in full effect, now, and it’s taking everything she has not to lash out at the girl in front of her. “Because I don’t deserve it, I don’t deserve _YOU!_ ”

Despite flinching at the tone of her voice, Kate doesn’t back down. Instead, she takes a slow, hesitant step forward, wearing that same frown of empathetic determination she wore the last time Victoria tried to push her away.

“That’s not true. _Of course_ you deserve to be loved. You might not see it, but I do… because I _see_ you, the _real_ you, remember? Like the sunflower to the sun, I’m _always_ watching you, counting the moments until you bring more light and warmth to my life. I know you make mistakes sometimes… maybe more than other people. And sometimes you do unkind things. But that doesn’t matter, because I love you _no matter what._ ”

Victoria shakes her head, refusing to believe what she’s hearing. Refusing to acknowledge the way her heart tries to soar every time Kate says it. Because that knife is still buried deep, feeling like it’s twisted inside of her every time she dares to hope. “You don’t, Katie… you might think you do but it’s… it’s too _new_. It’s not real. You’ve been going through so much stress and pain that I think you’re confusing me with… with the person you _really_ love.”

Kate’s jaw drops open, and when Victoria sees that realization on her face, that guilt and epiphany suddenly filling her eyes, she braces herself. For Kate to admit she’s right. For the long, awkward drive back to Arcadia Bay tomorrow, after which Kate will figure out that Victoria is more trouble than she’s worth. She tells herself its better this way, that maybe Kate can focus on getting the help she needs if she’s not worried about _her_ all the time.

But there’s no amount of bracing that could prepare Victoria for the words Kate says next.

“Victoria… there’s _no one_ but you. I’ve been in love with you since I was _thirteen years old._ ”

Victoria’s train of thought comes to a screeching halt, her mind grasping and sputtering with the effort to process what she just heard. “I don’t… I don’t understand…”

“I… I’m so sorry, if I knew that you... I should have told you this before. I _wanted_ to, but every time I’ve tried to talk about…” Kate closes her eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath before opening them again. “I didn’t just see myself die in my dreams, Victoria. I also saw _you_. Every time, I would be standing on the roof of the dorms and there would be a crowd below me, and I’d look through their faces and… and you were there. And when I jumped… you were the last thing I saw. The last thing I heard was you calling out ‘Katie.’”

Victoria shakes her head harder this time, the tears welling up to blur her vision. This isn’t like it was with Max and Chloe. This is _so much worse_.

“No… Please, no…” she breathlessly begs.

But Kate continues as though she doesn’t hear her. From the faraway look in Kate’s eyes, perhaps she doesn’t. “For the longest time I didn’t understand what they meant. I guess I still don’t… all I knew for sure is the way I started to feel whenever I had them. It was so scary… but after a while, I started to look _forward_ to them. Because it meant I got to see you. Someone who cared about me… who cried for me, who would miss me when I was gone. And at some point I realized that I wasn’t scared of those dreams anymore, even though I died in them, because that was the only time I didn’t feel so alone all the time. I began to truly believe that these dreams were visions from God… and you were my _angel_ , sent by Him to comfort me. To be there for me when the time came to carry me home.”

This is _wrong_. This is all fucking _wrong_. Victoria wants to run, to scream, to do anything to stop this. To not have to hear what Kate is telling her. To not have to feel her heart break all over again.

Kate sniffles, swiping at her damp cheeks. “After I woke up, I couldn’t remember your face… not exactly. No matter how hard I tried, how desperate I was, thinking about it was like looking through a camera that was out of focus. That’s… that’s why when we met in the hallway that day, I didn’t realize at first that it was you. Something about the way my heart would beat when you were nearby, or the way my knees would get weak when you looked at me was _so_ familiar, and yet I didn’t put two and two together until I saw you on that first morning of class... and suddenly it all clicked into place. Everything about you, your hair, clothes, make-up… it was like the memories of my dreams suddenly came into focus, and I just _knew_. You were _my angel_."

Kate laughs sardonically through her tears. "You know, it’s kind of funny... I was already starting to fall for you before that. And I felt so _guilty_ for it, like… like I was cheating on the girl from my dreams. Before I realized that you were one and the same.”

_There it is…_

Victoria knows this feeling all too well. It’s the second time she’s felt it just this _week_. It’s the feeling of the ground coming out from underneath her. It’s the feeling of her life, held together by nothing more than scotch tape and elmer’s glue by this point, falling apart… for _good_ this time. She doesn’t need that voice, the one that personifies her fear, her anxiety, her self-loathing to tell her what’s happening here. Not that it’s going to stop her, of course.

_You knew all along that this was to good to be true. You just didn’t know why._

_It’s because she doesn’t love **you**. She loves some idealized version of you._

_A construct of her mental illness that just happens to wear your face._

_I mean, fuck, Vic… this just isn’t your week, is it?_

_First you lose Max to a dead girl…_

_Now you’re playing second-fiddle to a goddamn figment of Kate’s imagination._

“That’s…” Victoria strains to force her words through a throat clenched so tightly she can hardly breathe. “That’s not…”

Victoria can see it in Kate’s eyes now… the realization that she’s wigging out, on the verge of spiraling out of control. Is that empathy in those eyes? Or is it pity? Kate tries to close the distance between them, but Victoria throws out her arms to keep her at bay.

“ _DON’T TOUCH ME!_ ” she wails, her own eyes hard. Warning. _Wounded_. “ _That’s NOT me, Katie! THAT’S NOT ME!!!_ ”

She had it backwards. All this time, it was Kate who was the flame, bright, and inviting, and warm. And Victoria was the moth, cursed with just enough intelligence to know how dangerous that fire was, but too goddamn _stupid_ to stop herself from flying right into the heart of it all the same. And now all that was left was to burn, burn, _burn_ until nothing but ash remains.

But Kate, her jaw tightly set, firm resolve showing on her tear-stained face, pushes right through Victoria’s flailing arms to wrap her up into a warm, crushing hug. The shirt she was holding fluttering down to pool around their feet as Kate presses her body tightly to Victoria's.

“Victoria, _please_ let me finish!” she pleads into Victoria’s ear, squeezing her as though she is her anchor in the middle of a swirling tornado. “After that… being able to be near you, the _real_ you… to see you right in front of me, to hear you laugh and the sound of your voice every day… it was like a _miracle_. But as the days went on something started to feel wrong. I didn’t know what it was, just that something was off somehow… until that day in the courtyard, when I was having tea with Stella and you took my picture. The way you smiled at me, Victoria, I _never_ knew something could feel so good. It wasn’t until that night when I had another one of my dreams that I figured out what was different. When I woke up, I just _knew_ that it didn’t matter whether dying was something I wanted or God wanted for me… because I realized that no matter what, _I didn’t want to leave you._ ”

Victoria tries to struggle, tries to escape Kate’s comforting grip… but it’s no use. She can feel the energy drain from her body with every squeeze of those deceptively strong arms. Every nuzzle of Kate’s chin to her shoulder. Every syllable of the girl’s sweet voice.

“I realized, that what I felt all those years for the girl in my dreams… it wasn’t love. Not really, because you made me see what love really is. What I felt before may have been a crush… or… or infatuation. But it was mostly an excuse to believe it was okay to kill myself, because when I did someone would be waiting to give me everything I ever wanted. But how could that be true when everything I wanted was already right there in front of me, living in the room next door, eating at the same cafeteria, and sitting across from me in photography class?”

Victoria wants to speak but can’t, because she knows when she opens her mouth she’s going to start sobbing all over again. She’s caught in a desperate battle between fragile hope and callous pessimism, between the kindness and love being whispered into her ear and the enraged shrieking of the bitch that lives in her mind. When Kate asks if Victoria remembers what she said about people lining up in the hall for the chance to date her, all she can do is shake her head.

“You said I wouldn’t want you to be my doorman, because you could be ‘very selective.’ And the way you blushed when you said it, the way your voice wavered… I knew you meant that the only person you’d allow to date me was _you_. And just knowing that… that you saw me that way. That even some small part of you wanted to be with me… it made me so happy I almost cried. Don’t you see, Victoria? The girl from my dreams… she made me feel like it was okay to die. But you make me want to _live_. To see another smile, or frown, or smirk… to hear the way you say my name, or to feel your eyes on me. My _God_ , Victoria, every time you look at me I can _feel_ it, like… like this _warmth_ on my skin. If that’s not proof that we’re meant to be together, then what is?”

“That’s not… I can’t…” Victoria manages to force out between hiccupping sobs. “What if… I fuck it up… hurt you or… or get drunk and cheat on you… or…”

_Don’t you get it you stupid fucking WHORE? You’ll KILL her. You KNOW what those voices were._

_You ALREADY killed her. She’s fucking DEAD because of you. You’re going to do it AGAIN._

“I _know_ that, Victoria… I know that you can’t be the only reason I’m alive. That wouldn’t be fair to you. But even if something happens, even if we can’t be together anymore, you’ve already helped me see how much life is worth living because dreams really _can_ come true. That even if it’s hard, or painful, or scary more often than not… I can still be happy. I can become an artist, I can play violin… I can find a way to give my _own_ life meaning.”

Kate is starting to break down now, choking on her words as she pulls away just far enough to let Victoria see the look in her eyes. See the _truth_ in them. A truth that can’t be undermined, or argued against. One that strangles out that voice of doubt in her mind until it’s little more than an annoyed, incessant buzzing between her ears.

“I don’t… know if what I experienced… was just dreams, or something that could happen in the future, or… _something else_. All I know is that if _that girl_ was here right now, wings and halo and all… I would choose _you_. Because I love _you_. _You’re_ my angel, Victoria. And… and you can push me away, if that’s what you really want. But no matter what happens, I’m going to make sure you know that I’ll always be there for you. I will always _love_ you.”

“ _I’m sorry_ …” Victoria cries, burying her face in Kate’s hair. “I’m _so_ sorry… tonight was supposed to be _perfect_ , and I… I…”

But Kate just shakes her head, her face lighting up with that beautiful, beaming smile of hers. “It _is_ perfect, Victoria. Because I’m with _you_.”

Snorting in an attempt to clear her airways, Victoria sulks “I b-bet you’re not used to _not_ being the crazy one in the relationship, huh…”

“Oh _yeah_ ,” Kate says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Definitely giving me second thoughts, here. I don’t know if I can handle all the drama…”

Kate leans up to kiss her, then. And it’s soft, and slow. The sweet taste of Kate’s mouth mixed with the salty flavor of their intermingling tears. And though a shaky, high-pitched whimper escapes Victoria’s lips every time she parts them, though her back is racked with silent sobs, she doesn’t try to run from it.

Because… she’s finally starting to _believe_. Not necessarily that she’s an angel… unless, of course, Kate is referring to the kind of angels that crush buildings beneath their feet in an effort to destroy Tokyo-3. She believes that Kate truly does _love_ her. And _that_ feel’s a whole lot like everything Victoria has ever wanted.

With their nearly naked bodies pressed tightly together, Kate’s fingernails lightly scratch her back in long, calming circles as they kiss. And with each pass the heave of Victoria’s shoulders lessens. Her whimpering voice quiets. The fall of her tears slows. When they finally pull away, just enough to rest their foreheads against each other, Victoria gives her a shaky, sniffling laugh.

“W-while we’re in the spirit of full disclosure, Katie… you should probably know that when I really want to beat myself up, I hear this voice in my head… my voice, like my conscience or whatever. And she likes to tell me how much I suck. How I don’t deserve to be… _l-loved_. Especially by someone like… like _you_.”

Kate regards her with wet, shimmering eyes full of affection. Adoration. Reverence. Kindness. Empathy. The very look she has given her so many times before, that Victoria has been too afraid to call for what it is… love. And then, with a smile that perhaps conveys the slightest touch of deviousness, she reaches up… and raps her knuckles against the side of Victoria’s skull.

Shocked as she is, it takes Victoria a long moment before she can stammer out “B… _bitch_ … did you just _knock_ on my _head_?”

But Kate is leaning close, her gaze now taking on a reproachful gleam. And Victoria quickly realizes that Kate isn’t looking _into_ her eyes, exactly, but _through_ them. If the eyes are the windows to the soul, Kate is peering all the way down into the _basement_.

“Hey, you in there?” Kate calls, her voice stern, commanding. “I don’t know what your problem is, but you _will_ leave Victoria alone. She’s _mine_ , now, and I _won’t_ let you hurt her anymore.”

It’s ridiculous. Perhaps the silliest thing anyone has ever said to Victoria’s face, certainly the silliest thing said this _close_ to Victoria’s face. And Kate is giggling a little before she even finishes her sentence… but even still, it makes the tears well up in Victoria’s eyes all over again. Tears of relief. Of contentment. Of joy at the knowledge that she _does_ belong to Kate, now, _all_ of her… just as Kate is offering every bit of herself to Victoria. She laughs, a laugh that turns into a sigh as they start kissing again. And again. And _again_.

Kate gently guides her back to the bed, kissing her all the way there. Breaking the kisses only to whisper “I love you” all over again. And soon enough they’re lying next to each other, facing one another, Victoria feeling like she is letting herself be washed away by the tenderness of Kate’s lips. The affectionate stroke of Kate’s hand on her side. The reassurance of those words that so terrified her minutes ago, now repeated like a mantra.

“I love you.”

“ _I love you_.”

“I love you _so_ much…”

Victoria feels as though she’s weightless, floating in a calm, tranquil sea of Kate’s love. But when she finally pulls away to tearfully murmur “Please, don’t…”, she can see the worry fill Kate’s eyes all over again. Worry that changes to surprise when Victoria grabs Kate’s hand and slowly moves it between her legs once more.

“… don’t _stop_ ,” Victoria finishes, her eyes hooded with need, pleading for Kate’s touch. It is clear from Kate’s face that she did not expect anything more to happen tonight, that she was content with the notion of holding Victoria close and soothing her until they both fell asleep at last. But now that ember of desire is reigniting within Kate, this time not the animal lust of before, more a yearning for quiet intimacy… for _oneness_.

Victoria sighs contentedly when that hand begins to explore her, this time able to savor every minute, deliberate movement. Meeting Kate’s eyes every time their mouths part, intense, compassionate hazel eyes that promise she will be gentle, that she won’t hurt her. Victoria’s breathing quickening to soft, staccato gasps as Kate finds her rhythm. The bed beneath her, the walls around her, the world itself falling away, those delicate fingertips becoming the very center of the universe. Every stroke sending electric jolts throughout her body while the pressure builds within her. Every press of Kate’s lips and flick of her tongue banishing the anxiety and fear that grips her. Every whispered profession of love like a sledgehammer against the walls that surround Victoria’s heart.

She can’t think of anything else but Kate. Her fingers. Her lips. Her tongue. Kate's breasts pressed to her own. Her loving heart. Her beautiful soul. Her eyes, dear fucking _God_ those _eyes_.

Kate. Kate. _Kate._ _Kate_. _KATE_.

Kate kisses Victoria while she comes, seemingly trying to capture her tear-soaked cries as the waves of pleasure wash over her. Victoria has never before experienced a rush so intense, so unrestrained, so _unguarded_ , her every molecule _vibrating_ as it pulses throughout her very being. Victoria can no longer sense the distinction between her body and mind, can no longer quite tell where herself ends and Kate begins. And despite the fact that Victoria isn’t touching her lover save to claw at her back in an effort to pull her in ever tighter, she can still feel Kate’s body tense and begin to shake in unison with her own.

When their lips finally part, when Victoria finally opens her eyes once more, the look of pure, contented bliss on Kate’s face, as though she wants or needs for nothing else save for this very moment, as though her every prayer has finally been answered, makes her want to cry all over again. And in this moment, she _knows_ , a truth which is self-evident, one that leaves no more room for doubt or hesitation. One that leaves her with nothing more than to speak it aloud, to make it real.

“I love you, Katie.”

They are the words Victoria has feared to speak even more than to hear, yet somehow they no longer seem sufficient. As though she cannot begin to convey the depth of emotion behind them, or the monumental, paradigm shift that those words represent for her. But from the wet shimmer of Kate’s eyes, the quiver of her red lips that press tightly together as she nods, she knows. _She knows_.

Her next words come out in a rushed, pleading sob, as though erupting unbidden from the most fragile parts of Victoria’s soul.

“ _Please_ don’t disappear… _please_ don’t leave me all alone…”

“Never,” Kate assures her, her own tears beginning to fall anew. “I promise… for as long as you want me, I’ll _always_ be with you.”

Part of Victoria can hardly believe it still. Can’t begin to understand why someone as good as Kate would love someone like her. But it doesn’t matter anymore. She doesn’t need to understand it. All she needs is to stop fighting it, stop hiding from it. To entrust her heart to Kate’s gentle care.

And besides… even if she _doesn’t_ deserve her, what does that matter? Kate loves her, _all_ of her, and knowing how stubborn the girl is, it’s not something likely to change anytime soon. So, all Victoria can do now is earn it. Be better. Try hard every single day to be the kind of woman that’s worthy of Kate’s love.

Maybe she’s crazy. Maybe they _both_ are. But, if that’s the case… Victoria figures they’ll just have to be crazy together.

Victoria leans in for another kiss, and this time what starts off slow and shaky steadily grows in passion. In a hunger of her own, a thirst that _must_ be quenched. Victoria rolls over on top of the girl who has so deftly torn down her defenses, her heart thrumming to the sound of the little squeaks and hums of desire that rise in Kate’s throat.

As much as Victoria loved the feeling of Kate taking control, right now she needs something more. Because if Victoria is her angel, then Kate is a fucking _Goddess_. Of _kindness_. Of _redemption_. Of _love_.

And it’s _Victoria’s_ turn to worship.

“Do you trust me, Katie?” Victoria murmurs, her lips brushing Kate’s with every movement.

“Yes…” Kate sighs into her waiting mouth, her tongue seeking Victoria’s between the syllables. “ _Yes_ …”

“Then close your eyes…” Victoria softly commands, sliding off of Kate to kneel at her side. And though a look of nervous anticipation fills those eyes, Kate obeys without question. Victoria follows suit, running her hands up and down the length of her own body. Remembering every detail of Kate’s touch. Savoring the whirlwind of emotions swirling through her heart and mind. When she opens her eyes once more, she channels every ounce of that passion, that lust, that _love_ through her gaze and directly onto Kate’s closed eyelids.

Victoria isn’t sure if what Kate said earlier was meant to be literal or metaphorical… but she’s damned sure about to find out.

Kate gasps sharply, her eyes moving rapidly back and forth behind her lids as though it is taking all of her willpower to keep them shut.

“Can you feel me, Katie?”

“ _Y-yes…_ ” The girl nods quickly, wetting her parted lips with that soft, pink tongue. “It… It’s warmer than… n-normal…”

“ _Follow me_ , Katie…” Victoria focuses on a single lid, then in a smooth, slow motion, she allows her gaze to travel downward. Passing over the bag beneath her eye that seems so much lighter now than it did a couple of days ago, before finally pausing to linger on her right cheek bone.

Kate bites her lip and raises a shaking hand up to her face, lightly pressing her fingertips, the very fingers that were inside of Victoria just minutes ago, to her eyelid before slowly moving them to follow the _exact_ same path.

_No way… that’s… that’s not **possible** , right…?_

She had noted on many an occasion how Kate _always_ seemed to know when Victoria watched her. How no matter what the girl was doing at the time, be it engrossed in drawing, or listening to the teacher, or chatting and laughing with her friends from across the courtyard, she would always pause and turn to seek Victoria out. Would always flash that brilliant, beaming smile that made Victoria’s heart pound and ache at the same time.

Sure, it was uncanny, but Victoria never put too much thought into it. She’d chalked it up to Kate just having really good instincts for knowing when she’s being watched. But something like this…

Millimeter by millimeter, Victoria blazes a trail with her eyes across that flushed, rosy cheek. And sure enough, those fingertips follow close behind. Kate’s breath quickens when they arrive at her upper lip, slowly traveling the length of it and back again in lockstep with Victoria’s focus… only to pull at her full, _sumptuous_ bottom lip when they move down to repeat the process. Her body shuddering as that pink tongue darts out again to taste _Victoria_ on her lips and fingers.

_Holy fucking **shit**_. This… this is _bad_. Not for Victoria, not even remotely, but for _Kate_. Because if this is real Victoria is absolutely going to abuse the _fuck_ out of it _every chance she gets_.

Seriously straining the limits of her patience, Victoria dips her gaze over Kate’s chin, meandering down her neck, along the way tracing the smears and swirls of the lipstick she’d left behind earlier in the evening. Kate’s breathing is getting harder now, dutifully shadowing Victoria as she crosses her collar-bone. Her entire chest flushing bright red with arousal as it rises and falls ever faster beneath Victoria’s hungry stare.

“ _Hnnn_ …!” Kate moans _loud_ in response to Victoria’s eyes arriving at the swell of her breast… climbing, climbing, climbing until they finally land at the summit of her rapidly hardening nipple.

_Jesus Christ_. Fuck flying or shooting webs out of her ass or whatever, this could very well be the best super-power _ever_.

She reaches out to trap Kate’s hand there, telling her without words to stay. To touch. To tease just as Victoria is teasing _herself_ with her other hand.

“Vic… Victoria…” Kate is _panting_ by the time Victoria finally relinquishes her chest to traverse her rib-cage, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind as the heat of her gaze travels the length of that _deliciously_ white stomach. Victoria finally allows her anxious hands to cease their roaming of her own person in order to scoop them underneath Kate’s legs, raising her knees up as she repositions herself in line with Kate’s shivering body. Her fingernails lightly scrape Kate’s flesh as she removes one stocking, then the other. Then, reaching up to her hips, Victoria causes Kate to gasp aloud as she begins to slide her cotton panties down her pale thighs, her knees, her calves.

_You’re mine… You’re MINE now, Katie, and I want it **ALL**._

Unleashing a deep, animal groan of pure _need_ , Victoria spreads Kate’s legs.

“ _Victoria_ …!!!” Kate wails in frustration when Victoria’s eyes skip from her hip down to her right inner thigh, her hands falling to her sides to clutch at the bedsheets beneath them. Victoria is practically hyperventilating with the effort of restraining herself from hurrying her gaze as it moves slowly, _agonizingly_ slowly up… up… _up_ …

“ _Oh God!_ ” Kate cries, _writhing_ beneath Victoria’s blistering stare when it reaches her womanhood at long, _long_ last. As Victoria quite literally makes love to Kate with her eyes. _Ravishes_ Kate with her eyes. “ _S… So hot!_ ”

This is _incredible_. Victoria wants to see how far she can take it, but... she just _can't_ hold herself back any longer, the heat and yearning within her nearly having reached a boiling point. With a ravenous moan of her own, Victoria dives in to join her lips with the inside of Kate's left thigh just below the knee. Making sure to keep her eyes on the prize until her mouth can take over, Victoria leisurely makes her way further inward, eliciting ever more vocal responses from her lover with each kiss, each lick, each bite that leaves the impressions of her teeth behind on Kate’s pale skin.

Victoria pauses moments before arriving at her final destination, causing Kate to pitifully whine when she closes her eyes.

“Are… are you _sure_ you want this, Katie? From… from _me_?” she asks, despite how ridiculous the question sounds to her own ears. Despite knowing that there really is no turning back at this point. She just needs to hear the words one last time.

She feels soft fingers brushing at her cheek, and when she opens her eyes she is met with a stare more loving, more adoring, more _certain_ than she has ever before seen. Having risen up on one elbow, a single tear rolls down Kate’s cheek as she throatily whispers “I’m _yours_ , Victoria… I will _always_ be yours.”

Having to choke back a sob of utter relief, of utter _happiness_ , Victoria’s lips tremble as she finally lowers herself to join with Kate. And while she _tastes_ Kate… while she allows herself to slowly get lost in the very _essence_ of Kate… while Victoria smoothly works her lips and tongue to the sound of Kate calling out God’s name, calling out _Victoria’s_ name, again and again and again… she _knows_.

Victoria _knows_ without a shadow of doubt that everything, all the pain, the isolation, the confusion, the anxiety, the fear, the doubt, the betrayal, the guilt, the self-destruction, _every_ terrible thing in her life leading up to this very moment… it was all worth it. She knows that she would go through it all again, a hundred times if she had to, for just one more taste. One more touch. One more exultant cry of Kate’s passion.

And when Kate’s hips jolt upwards, pressing herself into Victoria’s mouth as her entire body quivers, as she shouts with sweet release, as her abdominal muscles tense hard under Victoria’s waiting palms… she finally understands the whole celibacy thing. Of waiting for the one you’re _meant_ to be with. Because if she had to give up every single one of the sexual encounters she’s had before just to experience this, she would take that trade in a heartbeat. Even if it was the last time, even if it meant taking a fucking _vow of celibacy_ afterwards, she would do it.

But, thankfully, her Goddess does not appear too keen on requesting such a vow. For when her body quiets, when her trembling ceases and Victoria returns to her worshipping with even more vigor than before, there is not a note of protest in Kate’s resurgent, ecstatic moaning.

Victoria settles in for a long night ahead of her. After all, she’s lead a less than devout life up to this point, so she figures she has a _lot_ of praying left to do.

*****

**Sunday, October 13th, 2013**

Kate blissfully dozes in Victoria’s arms, the little spoon to Victoria’s bigger. With her breasts pressed firmly into Kate’s back, the girl’s cute little butt snuggled into her crotch, Victoria grins with smug satisfaction. She had gotten so lost in tasting Kate earlier that it took the girl tugging on her hair, laughingly _begging_ her to stop before finally giving her, and Victoria’s own aching jaw, a much-needed break.

As it turned out, however, it was less borne from a lack of stamina on Kate’s end and more a desire to turn the tables, to at last take her opportunity to show Victoria the depths of her _own_ desire. And show her she did, if the hickeys and bite marks left behind are anything to go by. It seemed that in much the same way Victoria possessively clasped those pearls around her neck, Kate staked her own claim on every _inch_ of Victoria… just opting to use her _mouth_ in lieu of jewelry. Not that Victoria is complaining, mind you… just the thought of walking around campus with the evidence of Kate’s lust on full display makes her wet all over again.

Victoria takes a quick peek over the girl’s head to glance at the clock on the nearby nightstand. 12:04 AM. Grinning wolfishly, she slides her hands up to cup Kate’s breasts. She smirks as Kate stirs with a happy sigh, her own body reacting instantly to the feel of Kate’s nipples stiffening against her palms.

“ _Mmmm_ …” Kate hums in a way that says ‘ _I’m sleepy but keep doing that thing you’re doing please._ ’

Victoria nips at Kate’s earlobe before cooing “Hey _Sleeping Beauty_ … it’s after midnight. See? You haven’t turned into a pumpkin yet.”

Kate lifts her head to blearily blink at the clock before giggling. “Wrong fairy tale… you’re thinking of Cinderella. Also, the pumpkin turned into a horse-drawn carriage, not a princess.”

“ _Whatever_. Fuck fairy tales, I don’t need a bunch of old dudes telling me all my problems can be solved by getting a man.”

“They’re not _all_ like that, but… you’re right that children’s stories tend to not be very inclusive when it comes to female empowerment… or sexual orientation. Maybe… maybe that’s something I can help with my own books someday…”

“… Really? Kate, that sounds _amazing_.” Victoria isn’t sure if the lump forming in her throat is because of someone with Kate’s religious and family background talking about writing LGBT-inclusive books, or because the girl that had to be talked down from the ledge just three short days ago is lying in her arms making long-term plans. Probably both.

“So, what happened to ‘not knowing for sure if you’re a… a…’”

“A _lesbian?_ ” Kate says sassily, almost as though proving to Victoria that she _can_ actually say it out loud. “I figured that would go without saying at this point… I mean, what would you call what we’ve been doing for the last few hours?”

“I dunno…” Victoria shrugs. “Research for your children’s book?”

Kate barks out a scandalized laugh. “Victoria, stop!”

With a devilish grin, Victoria takes her words literally by removing her hands from the girl’s breasts. Forcing Kate to turn her head to give her an indignant pout before using her own hands to move them right back into place. As a sign of contrition, Victoria pulls Kate tightly into her while craning her head up to soothe those pouty lips with a soft, sensuous kiss.

She cocks a questioning eyebrow when Kate interrupts the kiss with another giggle. “Um, ‘scuse you, but Dating Insecure Girls part two: laughing at our kissing abilities will give us a complex…”

“It’s not that… I just realized we never used any of Stella’s condoms.” Kate says with a wink.

“ _Shit!_ You’re right… and TBH I’m pretty sure you might have knocked me right the Hell _up_ after that last thing you did to me…”

Raising an eyebrow of her own, Kate asks “Victoria… do… do we need to talk about the birds and the bees? I mean, I know my parents kept _me_ out of health class in middle school, but what’s your excuse?”

“ _Whatever_ , bitch. You wouldn’t scoff at the idea if you read the right kind of fanfic. Trust me, despite appearances to the contrary you _definitely_ just proved you’re Alpha enough to pull it off.”

Kate begins to twist and squirm in Victoria’s arms to face her, making the cutest little squeaks and grunts of exertion along the way. Face to face at last, Kate presses their foreheads together. Then, reaching down to run her hand along the tanned skin of Victoria’s stomach, Kate whispers “Well… if… if I did manage to get you pregnant, then I promise I’ll take responsibility for the both of you.”

“Damn straight you will! My lawyers eat deadbeat moms for _breakfast_. You’d have to write twenty best-sellers just to cover the child support after I was done with you.”

Kate laughs, that soft, melodic sound that is music to Victoria’s ears. Then, cutting her eyes up to Victoria’s, Kate chews at her lip before hesitantly asking “Hey… angel?”

“Y-yeah?” Victoria can feel her face burning _hot_ at the realization that she was just given a pet name for the first time in her life.

Her cheeks flushing to match, Kate lustily murmurs “Since you compared me to a carriage earlier… does… does that mean you want another ride?”

Victoria cackles long and hard at that. _Dear God_ , how can one girl be so perfect?

“Hmm… don’t mind if I do. I mean, the woods _are_ lovely, dark and deep…”

Grabbing onto a fistful of Kate’s hair as she goes in for another kiss, the pair of them begin to push and tussle to see which one of them will end up on top this time. Not that it matters all that much in the end, since one thing inevitably leads to another… and another… and another. Between giggles and gasps and moans and full-throated, toe-curling screams, Victoria makes a mental note to load up on coffee in the morning… the words of Robert Frost playing in her mind.

_And miles to go before I sleep…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... uh... yeah, that sure is a thing that happened. Didn't end up expecting to write almost nine thousand words for this particular scene, but that's just how it be sometimes. ;)
> 
> And of course, the universe didn't deem fit to let the evening go by without at least a little drama... but I think their relationship came out all the stronger for it in the end!
> 
> I may be taking a bit of a break after this chapter, as we are about to enter the final stretch leading up to the finale that begins with Kate and Victoria's return to Arcadia Bay, and I want to really dedicate the time needed to successfully plan out the last several chapters. Once again feel free to drop me a line and let me know if there's anything in particular you'd like to see before this story concludes, as you never know what might inspire me!
> 
> Also don't be surprised if I publish one or two of the one-shots I've been farting around with in my spare time. I hope you all stay safe and well!

**Author's Note:**

> 6/28/20 UPDATE: For those of you who haven't read chapter 10 recently, it has received a shiny new addition... Artwork by the wonderful and incredibly talented Ayra! ([ayra0114 on Instagram](https://instagram.com/ayra0114?igshid=1ku2tuf25qobu).) You can see it at the bottom of the chapter or view the direct link [here](https://66.media.tumblr.com/cd32592fd523547424a4d7d084a1c35c/1f8c8e93e0293042-41/s2048x3072/6a4483bbc532e97a5a429e30285f3ba4442fc89c.jpg). Please let me know what you think!
> 
> 11-15-20 Update: For anyone who may still be checking up on this story from time to time, I just wanted to take the time to confirm that this is still be worked on! Life is fairly crazy right now and I have not had much in the way of time or spoons to tackle a work as dense/heavy as this one, however I do plug away at it here and there where I can. I'm hoping to start serious development and get back to a more regular posting schedule after the first of the year. As always thank you so much for all of your support, it truly means the world to me! <3
> 
> For anyone who wants to keep up to date with what I'm doing (and see the lovely Chasemarsh fanart I'm searching high and low to find, please feel free to follow me on Tumblr, DMMeeble. I also can be found on the same username on Twitter and Instagram as well. Don't be shy to drop me a DM sometime!


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